JongUp

The lecture dragged on as always, the professor talking in a monotonous voice that could put anyone to sleep. The slides flicked too quickly for notes to even be read off them let alone taken down. And to make it all worse, this was the one and only class I had that had an exam to go along with it. JiEun sits next to me, twirling her pen whilst simply staring at her own work. The lecture topic is written in neat Hangeul at the top of her page followed by the date, but underneath lays no scribbles, no attempt to even write down a point. It is simply a blank piece of paper.

I look at my own workbook, the title and date are there, plus quickly scrawled scribbles that make no sense to me anymore. Even the names of scholars that I have written down mean nothing to me. No date has meaning except the one that is placed at the top of the page. Quotes start but don’t end in anything except an ellipsis. I have two pages of nonsense and JiEun has a title.

The lecture ends with a bow from the professor and the rest of the student body, who are all ready for bed after such a long uneventful lecture. I am sure the topic made no sense to any of these people and that all of them – including myself – are going to go home or to the library in order to find the lecture slides which probably won’t be put up until tomorrow afternoon, which, in my opinion is way too late.

“Lululu~” I call, bringing JiEun back to life, she was still twirling her pen aimlessly between her fingers and staring, I am even sure at one point she was muttering to herself, singing probably.

“Huh?” She jumps and looks up at me as a stand up in my seat.

“Class is over …”

“What? It’s over?” She looks around the room, a few students still packing up their belongings, shutting down their laptops and unplugging headphones. Next time I am going to bring my laptop and watch a drama, or a movie. Something to pull me through this class…

“Yeah, it’s over…”

“I didn’t take any notes…” She mutters, closing her book and shoving her pen behind her ear. “Oppa… What was class about?”

I shrug, slinging my satchel over my shoulder, “I have no idea, and I can’t even read my own hand writing…”

JiEun nods. Something is on her mind…

“Hungry?” I ask her, smiling. I shall get to the bottom of this problem even if it means spending the little money I have on a fancy restaurant – university bar – with fancy meals – food that costs more than it’s worth – and expensive decor – unattractive, smoke filled and crappy English music playing somewhere in the background.

“Sure!” She smiles, “I’ll buy it Oppa!”

I swear the thought of food makes her smile. The thought of her paying makes me happy.

“Cheese burgers Oppa?” JiEun giggles, grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of the lecture hall. “McDonald’s isn’t too far from home. Come on.”

I follow with no problems. I really like cheese burgers…

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“Is something bothering you Lululu?” I ask JiEun, devouring my second cheeseburger as we walk home. I think cheese burgers are much better if you eat them while walking.

She hums, eating her fries. “I think so…”

“Either you know or you don’t JiEun…” I mutter, it’s true though. If you have something constantly on your mind its bothering you, if not then nothing is. That’s how I see it.

JiEun sighs, looking around before sitting on a bus stop bench. She pats the space next to her, motioning for me to sit next to her. I oblige.

“Okay, spill.” I say, she leans her head on my arm and closes her eyes.

“Give me a second. I’m sleepy…”

I look down at her, she has her eyes closed, and her arms loop around mine, hugging my arm as she moves closer. She is so cute. Using my free hand I play with her hair, running my fingers through it gently. I remember in high school how JiEun would do this for me when I was worried.

“Oppa…” she whispers, eyes still closed, “What do you do if you think you like someone?”

HimChan

“JunHong…” I knock on his door, ever since last weekend he has gone back into hiding, not showing his face when he knows JiEun is around. Even though he is still better than he was when she first arrived – he at least still eats dinner with everyone – it still isn’t nice to have this awkward aura floating around the house.  “Open up please.”

The door clicks and the handle turns and I am allowed entrance in to the darken room. The only light comes from the corner and his computer screen, which seems to be paused on a game at this point in time.

“Yes Channie Hyung?” he asks, looking up at me, and even though he is sitting I still feel like I am short next to him.

“What’s going on?” I lean against his desk. I feel as though I should turn on a light and see if he would react the same way DaeHyun would – that is to run and hide under something shielding his eyes and screaming something about being blinded. But I know that if I did he wouldn’t even batt an eyelash at the fact that the light has changed. And in the end I would end up just hurting myself.

“What do you mean Hyung? Nothing’s wrong…”

I sigh, “JunHong, there is a certain person in this house that you seem to be avoiding like the plague. Did something happen on the weekend?”

And to my surprise, he smiles shyly head tilted down, blushing. That is not what I was expecting. I was expecting a frown, or him to snap at me for bringing it up. But instead, I am left with a shy looking boy.

“JunHong?”

He jumps and looks up in shock. “What?”

This is not good. I know what this is. This is not good at all. “Stay here…” I mutter, rushing out the door.

“Bang!” I call. “BAAAANG!”

I can hear him grumbling as he walks down the stairs. “Yes Channie?”

Instead of words, I grab his wrist and pull him straight to JunHong’s room, quite glad that JiEun and JongUp were still out, because if JiEun was home this might have had to go outside and down the road rather than in JunHong’s dark room.

“Watch his reaction.” I say before opening the door and asking again. “What happened on the weekend JunHong?”

Once more his face lights up and he smiles, only this time it’s worse, he’s fidgeting. No wonder he can’t be in the same damn room as her... He turns into a red light bulb

I look at Bang – who also has a smile on his face, a rather big gummy stupidly happy smile – and I know that I have to explain. Why do you have to be so out of it sometimes Gukkie…

“You don’t get it do you?” I nearly shout, and push him inside the room, slamming the door. “He likes her!”

“JunHong likes who Channie?” He asks, still smiling

Gukkie… Stop being cute, you’re missing the big picture here…

JunHong watches the two of us, his face has dropped and he looks like he is about to fall apart since I figured out his secret.

“JiEun! They went to the skate park and something happened. He likes her and now we have to do something or else…” I let my sentence fade away, I don’t really know what will happen, JunHong and Gukkie are really the only two that know what will happen if someone else finds out. If anything gets out of this house hold only those two are aware of what will happen to all of us involved…

YongGuk’s face falls, he knows I’m right. He keeps a stoic look, thinking of something while I talk.

“I know how stupid this is going to sound JunHong, but you can’t okay? You can’t act on it. You know what will happen… I know it’s hard but… But you have to stop feeling this way…”I lower my voice, I too am saddened by the fact he can’t live a normal life, that he has to pretend, that he can’t have friends except those who are the exception – basically the rest of our house hold.

The boy’s face drops further, if I didn’t know him any better I could have sworn he would cry about this soon. But we all knew that JunHong only cried if he was hurt. My words couldn’t make him break down.

Gukkie puts his hand on my shoulder, “Channie…”

“You know I’m right. We all know I’m right. He can’t, she can’t. We can’t let it happen…”

“Please HimChan Hyung.” JunHong mutters and I don’t want to look just in case he is pulling a cute sad expression, I watch YongGuk instead. He looks at the youngest and I can slowly see the change in his hard expression.

“Channie… We have to let him live his life. Otherwise he will forever remain a cling in our lives and he will never know real love from anyone but us. We have to break the bubble at some point right?” He says, and I nod as he looks back at JunHong, the kid is already smiling from ear to ear. It reminds me of the time we bought him his first skateboard. “If you can keep it a secret, I will let things follow their right course. I won’t interfere till it’s necessary. Okay?”

I look at the both of them, I feel like I am the harsh parent that is making the easy parent softer by the second. Bang has his cheesy grin back and JunHong couldn’t be redder.

We leave him alone after that, not quite ready for what may come. I watch my feet as we walk. I fear that JunHong is going to hate me for trying to stop him from doing what he should as a boy.

Before he ascends the stairs, YongGuk pulls me into a hug. “You are just looking out for everyone, he knows that. He knows you were just doing what a mother does best.”

And with that Bang leaves me, running upstairs to his office.

“Wait… MOTHER?” I yell, racing after him.