HYUKJAE'S POV

Cold breeze touched my skin as I gracefully walk along the seaside. I went nearer the water as it hit my feet making me shiver because of its coolness. I look at the orange colored sky with the sun beautifully setting down.

“Hyukkie!” I smiled as I heard the voice. His voice. The voice that belongs to the man I always love.

“Ne Hae?” I said as I faced him to see him smiling widely at me. What a cute sight. He intertwined our hands as we continued walking together. We walked there in silence, enjoying that comfortable feeling of being with the one you love.

“Saranghaeyo Hae.” I quietly said but I made sure that he heard it.

“Nado saranghaeyo Hyukkie.” He kissed my cheek then suddenly the wind blew strong. My vision was blocked with my hair so I fixed it immediately and when I turned around, he's gone. I panickedly looked around for him but he is nowhere in sight.

“Hae? Hae! Where are you?!” Nobody's with me. I'm alone.

“Where did you go? Hae!” I kneeled as I started crying. He left me again. I stood up and began running going nowhere. I need to find him. I ran and ran but why is this road going endless? I stopped for a while to catch my breath as I bend to touch my knees. I looked straight ahead of me as I saw him there waving at me. He is smiling at me mouthing some words. I tried to read them but I can't.

“Hae! What are you saying? I don't understand it!” He took a few steps back and shouted at me.

“I'll always love you Hyukkie! Remember that ne?” He even tried to form a heart using his arms. I blinked then once again, he's gone. Suddenly the whole place became dark. Then soon enough I was in a deserted place alone with snow falling terribly. It's like a snow storm actually. Due to extreme coldness, I found it hard to breathe so I just ducked there at my place, trying my best to stay awake despite the fact that my body now wants to give in.

“Hae.” I weakly said as I soon closed my eyes. I finally woke up with irregular breathings. That dream again. Where am I? Oh right we already came back from the trip and I'm currently here in my room. I touched my cheeks and they're wet with tears. I didn't know I've been crying. Then I suddenly remembered my dream. Hae. I started to cry again. I remembered what we talked about back at the hotel.

Flashback

I woke up with cold sweat running down my faces and I was breathing heavily. I always have the same dream for the past days since we went to the island for the school trip. I turned to my side to see Sungmin hyung staring worriedly at me.

“Omo did you have a bad dream? You could tell me about it if you want to.” I shook my head. It's only about Hae. It's always about him. This is how much I miss to the point that I dream about him. I heard him sigh.

“It's about Donghae right?” I nodded.

“You love him that much?” Another nod.

“I knew I should have let him stay.” I looked at him with wide eyes.

“H-he went h-here? A w-while a-ago?” He nodded.

“He didn't stay long though.”

“W-why didn't he stay?”

“He, didn't say why.”

“He is so unfair!” I suddenly bursted. “He's so unfair.” I continued crying.

“Please Hyukkie stop already. I can't watch you like this anymore.”

“Hyung, I don't know if I can. I guess there is only one way to be with him.”

“W-what is it?” I reached for my bag and took a small pocket knife. Sungmin hyung's eyes went wide.

“Yah! Don't think about that! You wanna die?!”

“But hyung, he's an angel right? And the only way I could be with him is when I'll die and go to heaven.”

“Pabo! Do you think suicide can make you go there? Well it won't. It would only make you go straight to hell so stop thinking about doing such a foolish act!” He grabbed it and put it in his pocket. I just stayed silent. I don't know what to think anymore. How can I live my life if I don't have him? My life is now worthless since he left me.

End of Flashback

What Sungmin hyung said was right but... I don't know. Maybe if I would end my life now then everything would be over. I won't feel the pain right? Yeah that would be it. I stood up and went to the kitchen. I grabbed a sharp knife and looked at it. Okay no rust, if this won't work, I won't die of tetanus. I touched the sharp part and winced as it cut my thumb. Okay I'll surely die with this for just a shot. I gulped as I placed the knife at my wrist and deepened it. I stared at it as blood started oozing out of it. I felt myself starting to lose my consciousness as dark took over me.

“Hae..” I smiled a bit since I was able to say the name I really love even for the last time.

NOBODY'S POV

Donghae arrived and was greeted by Leeteuk.

“Hae! Where have you been?”

“Didn't Siwon tell you hyung?”

“Yeah he told me but why didn't you?” Leeteuk nagged. Donghae just sighed in return because he knows it's his fault. He knew he left without telling his 'parents'.

“I'm sorry Teukie hyung.” He said while he hung his head low and Leeteuk just hugged him and patted his head.

“It's alright and I'm sorry too. I'm just worried where you might be. Rest okay?” Donghae nodded and excused his way to his room. He sat on his bed, looking at nowhere when he heard a knock on his door. He saw it opened and Heechul peeked in.

“Haehae?”

“Hyung.” He answered shortly signalling the other to enter and also sat on his bed.

How are you feeling?” He just hummed in response and Heechul finally got it. He heard him sigh.

“Why are you like this? Why do you keep on opposing what you really feel? Aren't you tired yet?”

“I.. I just want the best for him and I know it's not me. Ouch! Hyung! Do you really need to hit me?!” Donghae said as he pouted while rubbing his head.

“Well if that would make you open your mind then yes and I would gladly do that again. Can't you see how wasted he currently is?” Donghae remained silent.

“Hae...” Donghae suddenly heard a faint voice calling him. He suddenly straightened his body and froze.

“Hae? What's wrong?”

“Hyukkie...”

“What happened to him?”

“I don't know hyung. But I heard him calling me a while ago. Hyung I can sense something's wrong. I need to see him.” Donghae said; panic beginning to build up in his chest.

“Really? Then I'm coming with you.” They stood up and left the room. They met Siwon along the way and stopped.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to see Hyukkie. I think something wrong happened to him.” Donghae immediately answered.

“Just tell Teukie about this okay?” Heechul instructed Siwon as he pulled Donghae away.

“But hyung!” Siwon sighed. He again would be the one to receive Leeteuk's naggings because of this.

A few minutes later they arrived at Hyukjae's house. They went to the balcony because Hyukjae always leave it open, hoping that one day Donghae would come back to him. They went inside his room to see nobody.

“Where is he?”

“Maybe downstairs.” Donghae said as he hurriedly went outside the room with Heechul following behind. He reached the living room to see no one. He ran to the kitchen and froze. There on the floor lay Hyukjae, unconscious. What scared him the most is the thing he is holding. It is a knife with blood. He looked at the other hand to see the wrist bleeding.

“Is he there- Hae! What happened?!” Heechul shouted as he made his way towards Donghae and was shocked to see Hyukjae. He looked at the blonde but Donghae remained frozen. Heechul immediately went to Hyukjae's side to feel his pulse.

“He's weak Hae let's go we need to bring him to the hospital.” He was trying to carry Hyukjae when he looked at Donghae who was not even budging from his position.

“Donghae!” Heechul practically shouted but nothing happened. He stood up and slapped Donghae hard in the face. This made him jerk and immediately cried.

“Hyukkie...”

“Donghae this is not the time to cry or space out. We need to bring him to the hospital.” Heechul hurriedly transformed as a human and carried Hyukjae.

“Hae why aren't you transforming yet?”

“Hyung I'm an angel I can't do that.”

“Pabo you can! Do you think Teukkie won't give you the priviledge to do so? Hurry he's getting weak!” Heechul ran towards the door to the car. Donghae wondered but complied nonetheless and in just seconds, he's a human again.

‘I can't believe it.’ He thought as he ran out of the house after getting the keys of Hyukjae's car. He slid himself inside the driver seat with Heechul and the unconscious Hyukjae at the back. He drove fast until they reached the hospital. A lot of nurses with a stretcher welcomed them as they hurriedly brought Hyukjae to the Emergency room. Both Donghae and Heechul stayed outside to wait. Heechul got his phone out to call Hankyung.

“Hannie?”

“Chul-ah? Are you okay? I could feel you're worried. What happened?” Heechul, although tired and worried was able to smile a bit.

“I'm okay but I'm currently here at the hospital with Hae.”

“Hospital? Why?”

“Hyukjae tried to kill himself. He is currently at the ER.”

“Really? Okay then I'm coming don't go anywhere okay.”

“Ne Hannie.”

“Heechul?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Ne I love you too.” The line went dead as Heechul smiled to himself. He honestly doesn't want to know what would happen if Hankyung was not by his side. He stared at his dongsaeng who is currently seating at a chair with head bent down.

“Hae...” Heechul sat down beside him as he rubbed his back with his hand to comfort him.

DONGHAE'S POV

“Hae..” Heechul hyung rubbed my back with his hand, trying his best to comfort me. I'm crying right now because of the thoughts running on my mind. What if I didn't hear his call? What if I came too late? What if...

“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!” I shouted while my hair. Heechul hyung hugged me as I let tears flow down my cheeks, wetting his shirt in the process. We stayed like that for a while and every second is passing by painfully for me. Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching us. I let go of the hug to see Hankyung hyung running towards us. We stood up as Heechul hyung hugged him. He turned towards me and did the same. I hugged him back as tears started to swell up on my eyes again.

“It's okay Donghae. Don't worry everything would be fine. God won't let him leave you ne?” Hankyung hyung whispered to me and these simple words somehow made my heart lighten even for just a little bit. I move to the other chair so that Hankyung hyung can sit beside Heechul hyung. I'm so envious of them. They are able to be with the one they love and you could really feel their importance for each other. I didn't notice that I fell asleep until I jerked on my seat when the door suddenly opened.

“Who is the relative of Lee Hyukjae?”

“I'm his guardian.” I hurriedly said to the doctor.

“He's okay now but he lost too much blood and his body is still weak. We need to admit him here for continious observations.”

“C-can we see him?”

“Of course. The nurse would lead you to his room.” We bowed at the doctor as he went away. The couple gave me assuring pats as I smiled weakly at them. A nurse came up to us as he led as to Hyukkie's room. There we saw him sleeping peacefully but is still pale. The sight broke my heart into pieces. It really hurts to see the one you love suffering.

“Hyung I'll just go out to call Sungmin hyung.” He nodded at me as I went out of the room. I dialed Sungmin hyung's number and waited for him to answer it.

“Yoboseyo? Donghae?”

“Hyung. I.. I need you to come to the hospital.” I started nervously.

“Hospital? Why what happened?” I took a deep breath before speaking.

“Hyukkie's here at the hospital but don't worry he's already safe. He just needs to rest.”

“What?! Okay we'll be there in a few minutes.” He said as he ended the call. I leaned on the wall as I brush my fingers on my hair. Should I stay to look over him or just let Sungmin hyung do it? I stayed like that for a while when my eyes caught somebody running towards me. It's Changmin. Maybe Sungmin hyung told him.

“Donghae hyung!” He called me as he stopped in front of me, panting hard.

“Is he okay?” He said, still breathless, nervousness was clearly heard on his voice. “Sungmin hyung called me so I hurriedly went here. Where is he?”

“Don't worry Changmin-ah he's fine now, he's inside the room with my hyung and his boyfriend. You could come inside, don't worry they know you as Hyukkie's boyfriend.” I said as I reassuringly patted him.

“Okay hyung but what about you?”

“Don't worry I'll stay here for a while.”

He nodded at me as he went inside the room. I closed my eyes. Yeah I should not wonder why he's here. He's Hyukkie's boyfriend after all, the position I longed to have. I slid down as I sat against the wall and hugged my legs. The pain. It's here again. Well I don't think it really left my heart in the first place. But thinking that Changmin was able to do the things I want to do with my love doubles the pain I'm feeling. Heart please enough with the breaking part, you're already torn into pieces. Don't torture yourself anymore.

“Hae!” I heard Sungmin hyung's voice so I stood up.

“Where is he?” Kyuhyun and he are obviously worried about him. Such nice friends they really are.

“He's inside with my Heechul and Hankyung hyung. Changmin is also there.”

“Hae..”

“Don't worry hyung I understand.” I gave him a forced smile and signalled them to go inside. I stuffed my hand inside my jacket's pockets as I walked out.

“Donghae hyung where are you going?” Kyuhyun asked me. So he noticed me huh? I thought he's already inside.

“Just outside. I need some fresh air. Don't worry I'll return immediately. Just call me if you needed something ne?” I said as I turned my back on him and waved my hand. I went to the chapel and sat on one of the patios. I knelt and closed my eyes.

“Dear God Almighty, first of all, thank you for everything especially for giving me Hyukkie. I, as one of your loyal angels sent to protect one of your beloved children and is the most important person in my life, is here before you as an ordinary man, praying and wishing to save him from danger and to regain his health back. I know I've been a naughty angel so please forgive me if I ever gave you a headache. But please, this is the only thing I would ask of you and I hope you could grant me my request, Amen.”

I muttered my prayer as I silently wept. I sat again as I wiped my tears away. I know he's now somewhat safe but I can't be sure unless he'll fully recover. I stood up, made a sign of the cross and walked out the chapel, going nowhere.

SUNGMIN'S POV

I was really shocked with what Hae said over the phone. I immediately called Changmin knowing that he lives near the hospital.

“Yoboseyo?”

“Yoboseyo Changmin-ah, this is Sungmin.”

“Oh Sungmin hyung why did you call?”

“Ahm I need you to go to the hospital. Hyukkie's there. He was brought by Donghae.” I fidgeted in my position as I told him what happened then I heard a gasp from the other line.

“I-is he okay?” I could feel he is already crying so I immediately answered him.

“Yeah Hae said that he's now safe but is still under observations.”

“Okay hyung I'll go now.”

We bid each other goobyes and hung up the phone. I quickly dialed Kyu's number and darn! I bet he's playing that stupid Starcraft again! Why isn't he answering his phone?!

“Yoboseyo?” Finally!

“Ya Cho Kyuhyun! What took you so long in answering your phone?! Starcraft again?!”

“Er mianhae Bunny so why did you call?” Oh I almost forgot.

“Kyu! Let's go to the hospital! Hae called and he said that Hyukkie's there. I already called Changmin so I guess he'll be there in a minute.”

“Okay I'll fetch you at your house I'm on my way already- ouch!”

“Kyu? What happened?” I worriedly asked him. Well he’s still my Baby Kyu so I guess it’s still normal for me to get worried even though he pissed me off a while ago.

“Nothing I just tripped don't worry.”

A few minutes later Kyu came and we hurriedly went to the hospital. We searched for Hyukkie's room to find Hae outside sitting against the wall with him hugging his legs.

“Hae!” I called him so he stood up to face us.

“Where is he?”

“He's inside with my Heechul and Hankyung hyung. Changmin is also there.”

“Hae..”

“Don't worry hyung I understand.” He said as he tried to smile. We understood this so we just went inside the room. There we saw a couple, one with very gentle features while the other one has its intimidating aura around him. Er her? I'm not quite sure if it's a he or a she. But I tell you, this one's a very beautiful creature.

“Sungmin-ssi? I'm Heechul.” Oh. He's a he.

“Annyeonghaseyo Heechul-ssi.” I greeted him as I bowed to give respect.

“Annyeonghaseyo Kyuhyun-imnida.” Kyu bear introduced himself to Heechul-ssi.

“This is my boyfriend, Hankyung.” Heechul-ssi introduced the man beside him.

“Annyeonghaseyo Hankyung-ssi.” We said at the same time.

“Please drop the formality just call us hyung.” We smiled at their kindness and immediately darted our eyes to see Changmin sitting beside Hyukkie while holding his hand. His eyes are red and puffy. He obviously cried. Heechul put his arm on my shoulder so I looked at him and he just nodded, indicating us to come near him. We went near Changmin and he slowly looked up to us. His face shows sadness. One because of Hyukkie's condition and second, he himself knows that he is not the one Hyukkie really wants to stay by his side. I felt pity towards him but somehow proud of him because he is still brave enough to face everything. I smiled reassuringly at him, like telling him everything's gonna be fine.

“Let's leave them alone first.” Kyu whispered at me so I nodded. Taking one last glance at my best friend, I, together with Kyu and our new hyungs, left the room to give them time.

NOBODY'S POV

The four of them decided to go to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. Once they finished ordering, they ate there with a comfortable silence surrounding them. They may be new with each other, but the Kyumin couple felt something good about them, like the safety and warmth when you know there is someone who would protect you. Having this feeling made Sungmin decided to tell them his thought and to also break the silence.

“Ahm hyung? May I ask something?” Heechul looked at him to see Sungmin pertaining to him which he just smiled and nodded.

“Are you also an angel like Donghae?” The Hanchul couple stopped eating because they were surprised. No, they're not surprised that they knew that Donghae is an angel but the fact that Sungmin feels Heechul's presence as an angel. Heechul smiled as he rested his head on his hands which are now on the table.

“How could you say that I'm an angel? How about Hannie?”

“Well, there is special warmth from you. The same warmth I felt when I'm near Donghae while Hankyung hyung is a human.” Sungmin explained, sure enough that he is right. Heechul remained smiling. He didn’t say anything but he was clearly impressed on how sensitive and smart Sungmin is.

“I was actually with Donghae in heaven talking when suddenly he said he heard Hyukjae faintly calling his name so we immediately left and went to him. He found him first lying on the floor with his wrist bleeding but didn’t do anything, maybe from shock. So because of that I have to literally slap him hard on the face. He was very worried and all I could do was to comfort him.” Heechul sadly explained as he played with a tissue on his hand.

“They love each other so much.” Sungmin whispered as he contemplated on the story. “So much that even their minds connect with each other, not only their heart.”

“He is actually my favorite dongsaeng because of his warm attitude towards others and also because of his happy attitude but now, all I could see is his sad and depressed state. I’ve always treated him as my younger brother and it also pains me to see him like this.” Heechul continued as a tear dropped from his pretty eye which Hankyung immediately wiped making Heechul smiled sadly at him. Because of his love for Heechul, Hankyung also feels his pain and it also hurts him. They fell into silence for a while until their foods came. Each of them found it hard to swallow despite the decent taste of their foods, minds too focused on the current state of their friends. After the meal, Heechul and Hankyung decided to go home first and rest, well only Hankyung wanted it since Heechul insisted on staying with Donghae but didn’t argue anymore while Kyuhyun and Sungmin decided to go back to Hyukjae’s room.

 

A/N: yes I'm finally alive again... and kickin'... oh yeah~