DONGHAE'S POV

I was walking back to Hyukkie's room when I saw Sungmin hyung and Kyuhyun going to the same direction. Sungmin hyung grabbed my hand making me stop on my tracks then he motioned Kyuhyun to continue his way to the room. I turned my head and saw him looking at me with mixed emotions. I don't know, sadness? Sympathy? Pity? Anger? Disappointment? I just stared blankly at him. I don't know how I should react towards him. He sighed as he dragged me away. I just let him then I noticed that we're already at the garden.

We sat under a tree, feeling the rays of the sun on our skin. I looked at him and saw him leaning on the tree with his eyes closed. We stayed like that for a while, feeling each other's movements on who would speak first although I know that it would definitely not be me.

Silence.

Okay this is awkward and is slowly killing me. Forget what I said about not speaking first.

“Heechul hyung told me everything,” He started even before I could speak. “I knew you're still guarding him. Why won't you just come back?” He asked me with his voice cracking at the end. I looked down, feeling the grass around us fancy to my eyes as I focused on them.

“Hae…”

“I can't hyung. If I'll come back, all of us would be hurt, even Changmin. And I can't bear to be with Hyukkie and see the two of them together. It's killing me.” I explained and I was shocked when he leaned near me and wiped my tears away. I didn't know that I was crying already.

“You're wrong. Look at me. Hae, look at me.” He cupped my face as I kept on looking down. This forced me to look up and was surprised to see him in tears already.

“Hyung why are you-“

“it hurts me as well Hae. Hyukkie is like a younger brother to me and I'm so thankful when you came to his life. He became lively and happy and as a hyung, I want him to always be that way. But when you left, it's like he also left. He has no life at all.” I looked away because I can't bear to see him crying because of us, because of me.

“Hyukkie needs you, can't you see that?”

“He has Changmin already, he doesn't need me.”

Slap!

My eyes widened as my cheek stung, I touched my cheek. It really hurts.

“Pabo! If he doesn't need you, he won't be like this! He wouldn't bring himself to sleep every night calling out your name and most of all, he wouldn't try to kill himself because he thinks he doesn't deserve to live because you left him all alone!”

“Hyung..”

“I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you-“

“No it's fine. I deserve it.”

“Please go back to him.” He begged me as he firmly held my hands.

“B-but how about Changmin? I'm worried that I might ruin them.” I reasoned out. Well who would want to be the reason for a break-up right?

“He knows about it and he already accepted that fact.”

I kept silent as I started fiddling with my fingers. Changmin knows what? That I'm an angel? I doubt that. Sungmin hyung won't reveal my true identity, even Kyuhyun.

“He knows that you and Hyukkie love each other.” I snapped my head at him. What?

“Hyukkie loves who?” He sighed as he started massaging his head while I stared stupidly at him.

“So that's why you're acting like an idiot. Now you know. What are you planning to do?”

I- I can't say anything because the information stated is just starting to sink in into my head. Processing. Processing. Processing. Hyukkie loves me? I gasped.

“Hyung! He loves me!”

“Yes pabo he loves you gosh I can't believe you're that dense. I should just have shoved it to your face so that you won't leave him.” Sungmin hyung rolled his eyes on me. My happy face turned to a gloomy one again when I realized something.

“But..”

“But what?”

“What if he's angry at me?”

“Who's angry at you?” I looked at him with worried eyes and pursed my lips.

“Hyukkie.. What if he's angry at me? Really angry those once he’ll see me he’ll just push me away? I don't think I could take it.” I started sobbing with fear as I slowly felt Sungmin hyung putting his arm on my shoulders, hugging me sideways.

“You'll never know something unless you've tried. Do not worry if the results of your actions are not good, what's important is that you did it and did not regret doing it.” I looked at him and he showed his brotherly smile at me, making me smile back as well, feeling somehow fine but is still unsure on how I'm gonna approach Hyukkie without him going hysterical on me. 

HYUKJAE'S POV

I groaned as I slowly turned my body and felt my body weak all over. I sniffed. Eeew, I cringed my nose in disgust as a familiar scent went inside my nose. Why does it smell like hospital? I hate them. Then suddenly, I remembered the time when Hae forced me to go to the doctor because of my broken nose. I slightly smiled at the memory. But, wait, hospital? I thought I'm dead?

I abruptly opened my eyes and immediately sat up making me a bit dizzy. I held my head as I tried shaking my dizziness away. I blinked a few times, adjusting my eyes to the light then I looked around and I'm right, I'm at a hospital. I was still busy examining my surroundings when I heard someone groaned beside me. I looked down to see wait, Changmin? He's currently sleeping with his head resting on his arms which are at my bed. What is he doing here? I heard him groan again as he slowly lifted his head. His eyes widen when he saw me looking at him.

“H-Hyukjae hyung!” He said as he stood up and held me on my shoulders. “Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere? Do you want me to call the doctor? Or are you hungry? Want to eat something?” He started babbling things making me dizzier. I wasn't even able to catch what he was saying. And seriously how am I supposed to answer him if he's bombarding me with questions?

“Changmin-ah, calm down okay? How could I answer you if you keep on asking me questions?” I simply said making him shut his mouth. Good. I smiled at him as he let go of me.

“Don't worry I'm fine. I'm not in pain and no, I'm not hungry. But,” I paused and looked at him with confusion. “What am I doing here? I mean, how did I get here?” I saw him stiffened with my question as he looked down.

“H-Hyung, do you want to go somewhere? It would be good for you to inhale some fresh air.” He offered me instead of answering my question. I stared at him and I noticed it somehow made him feel uncomfortable. Hyung? I thought he doesn't want to call me that?

“So, ahm what do you say?” I snapped back and slowly nodded at him. Still with a smile on his face, he helped me to get out of the bed and went outside.

“Ah! This is so refreshing! Hospital atmosphere really is suffocating.” He exclaimed as we sat in a bench at the park inside the hospital premises. We're sitting side by side with his arms stretched, supporting his weight. He has a smile on his lips but I know something's wrong.

“Changmin-ah.”

“Hmm?”

“Ahm, what happened?” I extremely felt awkward asking him that. I mean, all I remember was me using a clean knife to cut my wrists and then everything went dark.

“Oh that.” He uncomfortably shifted in his seat. I felt a bit guilty but being a curious monkey that I am, wait did I just admit that I'm a monkey? Whatever. Okay back to the topic. Being the curious one that I am, I need to know everything.

“Well I don't know what exactly happened, but I was on my home when my phone suddenly rang. I answered it and was surprised it was Sungmin hyung. He was telling me to go here in a panic voice. I don't know why until he told me you're here. So, I rushed my way to see the one who helped you.” I felt my heart began beating faster. The one who helped me? Who is it? Sungmin hyung? Changmin looked and smiled at me lovingly.

“Do you know who it was?” He asked me and I slowly shook my head.

“It's Donghae hyung.” W-what? H-Hae? But, how? He left me already so how could he save me?

“B-but h-how?”

“I honestly don't know. But when I saw him outside your door, I could clearly see the pain and worry in his face. You're really lucky to have him.” He placed his hand on top of mine and slightly squeezed it.

“Never let him go again, hmm?”

“C-Changmin-ah..”

“I know you really love Donghae hyung. With the way you speak and look at him, it's always full of love and care and I know, he feels the same with you. He loves you so much he asked me to take care of you. He's hurt but then he gave way when he knew that we're together, thinking you're happy with me.”

“But I am happy when I'm with you.” I argued and he laughed a little. I pouted. It's true!

“Yes I know you're happy but not that happy when you're with him.” He let go of my hand and placed his on his lap.

“I love you, I really do. But I can't afford to keep you if it's someone else that you are thinking of, the one your heart is really calling for.” I widened my eyes.

 “I'm letting you go. Thanks for the short time we had together. Don't worry about me, I can handle myself. I'll be alright.” I stared at him with shock, tears now running down my eyes. How could I? How could I cause such pain to this wonderful person? I buried my face on my hand and sobbed hard. I'm a horrible person.

“M-mianhae, cheongmal mianhae.” I said between my sobs as I felt the pain in my chest. It hurts so much.

“Don't be. I really knew what you're really feeling in the first place and yet I still took the risk. Can I just have one more favor?” I raised my head to look at him and nodded.

“Anything.”

“Can I hug you? For the last time?” Still sniffing, I nodded at him and he smiled. Although now I could see tears is also falling down from his used-to-be smiling eyes. He pulled me and hugged me tight making it almost hard for me to breathe but that's fine. I just let him as I hugged him back.

“Thank you and I'm sorry.” I whispered and he nodded at me as I feel my hospital gown getting soaked with his tears. We stayed like that for a while until he let go and messily wiped his tears away.

“You should go back now. Maybe the hyungs are already there and they're worried that I might have taken you home with me.” I laughed a little on how he tried to lighten up the mood.

We stood up and made our way to my room and were surprised to see Hae sitting on the floor beside the door, with his back leaning on the wall. He immediately stood up once he felt our presence and looked at us with a worried and nervous expression. I just stood there looking at him with surprise. He really is back. My angel is back.

A/N: so basically I already posted this chap but then it was deleted T^T but that's fine.. :D although that included my replies and also, your latest comments got deleted... so comments again please? btw.. gonna do a double update tonight since it's already midnight here... gomawoyo! :*