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The warmth from the sun slowly reached Taeyeon as she stirred in her sleep. Moments from the previous night replayed themselves in her head, and she smiled even with her eyes still closed. Slowly, she opened her eyes, hoping to see the girl who made her heart thump so wildly every time. However, there was nothing but the silky white sheets that had kept the both of them warm throughout the night. Taeyeon frowned for a moment, but her frown eased soon enough as she closed her eyes again, feeling the sleepiness coming back. All of a sudden, she imagined Jessica washing up, or making breakfast, or just...being hers. She couldn't hold back a smile, and then her eyes opened yet again as she pushed herself to sit up.

"Jessica." She called out while she scratched the back of her head lazily. When there was no response, Taeyeon only shook her head with a silly grin before she climbed out of bed. "Jessica?" She called out once again, opening to the door to the restroom, but there was no one. The blissful expression on her face started to fade away. With quick steps, she proceeded to the kitchen of the suite. "Jess—" The name trailed off as an empty kitchen greeted her. Annoyance was slowly getting to her. Jessica might have left her alone in the morning during their first few encounters, but Taeyeon wouldn't allow today to be one of those days. Jessica should never leave her alone in the morning any more.

Letting out a breath, Taeyeon approached the dressing table where she left her phone. Boss or not, she was ready to give the girl a piece of her mind. However, before she managed to pick up her phone, her eyes fell onto a note beside her phone. It wrote 'Taeyeon...' For a split second, Taeyeon found the note to be terrifying. She swallowed her saliva before she picked the note up, turning to its flipside.

Thank you for last night... And I'm sorry that I'm so undeserving of all that you have given me. I know you are going to think that I was toying with you, but I really wasn't. You are really a special person to me like I said. But we can't continue this... Especially not with you knowing who I am. Let me just stay as Kitty in your head... TY I'm sorry... Please take care from here onwards...

Kitty

Unsteadily, Taeyeon took a few steps before she dropped herself on the bed, tears flowing silently down her cheeks, the note crushed by her clenched fist.

***

The ringtone echoed in the room yet again that day. Was it the thirtieth time already? Jessica didn't know. But she couldn't care either. She was sitting down on the floor somewhere in her room, leaning her back against the wall. Her body kept shaking from the constant crying. It hadn't been that long since she left that hotel room, and Taeyeon. Yet, it felt like forever. She wanted to see her right at that instant, but she couldn't. It was for the better. She knew that leaving Taeyeon was for the better, no matter how much it hurt her to do it.

Someone knocked on her door all of a sudden, but she didn't move an inch. She only kept crying. She felt pathetic, and worthless.

"Sis?" It was Krystal. "Jessi are you in there?"

There was no response from Jessica. Nothing at all.

Before long, the doorknob was turned and the door swung open. "Seriously the hell of your ringt—" Krystal had barely even raised her voice when she stopped in her tracks, her eyes dropping to Jessica was sitting down on her right, not too far away from the door. The girl stared at her crying sister, wide-eyed, before she snapped out of her trance as she closed the door behind her. Krystal didn't say anything. Instead, she took slow steps and sat herself down beside Jessica. She knew that Jessica needed no words. She probably just needed someone. No, she really needed someone. Krystal leaned in, her arms closing themselves around Jessica, immediately causing Jessica to cry even louder and harder than before. "It's okay Jessi... I'm here..."

***

Nothing changed the next day. Taeyeon never stopped calling, and Jessica never stopped crying. Taeyeon figured out that she would confront Jessica at work the next day.

But, it never happened.

Jessica didn't turn up for work that Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday. Neither did she pick up any of Taeyeon's calls. Every second at work was as close as death to Taeyeon while she tried to keep a strong front.

It was Friday, and as much as Taeyeon held hopes to see Jessica again, she was almost convinced that it was impossible. With a heavy heart, she made her way to the very place she first met her Kitty - the bar. She stood outside as she stared blankly at the familiar place, which became not so familiar all of a sudden. She didn't know how to describe the bitter feeling in her heart. She only knew how much she longed for Jessica ever since she left her. Swallowing her saliva, together with her tears, she made her way into the bar. However, it didn't take her more than five steps to notice the figure sitting not too far away. The petite figure that she would recognise at any time. And, that mask.

Tears welled up immediately as she slowly made her way towards the girl who had absolutely no idea of her presence. In that short distance between Taeyeon and the girl, the girl had already downed two shots.

"You jerk..." Jessica was about to down a third shot, when she froze at that voice. She didn't dare to turn, or to even move. "You leave me and then you come right back here to be Kitty?"

Jessica lowered her shot glass, but she remained where she was, not turning to look at Taeyeon.

"Come with me." Taeyeon grabbed Jessica's wrist as she pulled, but the girl resisted, yanking away Taeyeon's hand.

"I don't have a reason to," Jessica replied coldly, still back-facing Taeyeon.

"I only want to clarify something. I'll go after that if you hate me so much." Taeyeon finally managed to get Jessica to look back at her. Pursing her lips, Jessica dropped Taeyeon a look before she stood up and followed the girl outside the bar.

"What do you want to clarify?" Jessica's eyes were emotionless and almost soulless, and Taeyeon hated it.

"I want to know... Did you ever love me?" Taeyeon would be blind to not notice the hurt that flashed past Jessica's eyes in that split second. When Jessica said nothing, Taeyeon pressed, "Answer me."

Jessica swallowed her saliva, before she replied, "What's the point of asking me this now? Does it matter?"

"Yes," Taeyeon answered without hesitation, "It matters to me. I want only the truth, and no matter what it is, I won't convince you to stay or anything. I just want to know that one thing. And then... And then I'll go."

Jessica could feel the tears coming up with each word that Taeyeon said, but she managed to suppress them, albeit with much difficulty. Suddenly, the cold gaze from her eyes was gone. It was the same old Kitty that Taeyeon knew. With tears in her eyes, Jessica looked straight at Taeyeon. "Yes. I loved you. In fact I... I still do. But you know that it's pointless for us to—"

"Then that's enough for me," Taeyeon interrupted Jessica with her words, "Thank you, Jessica."

"I—" Before Jessica could say anything else, Taeyeon had already turned to leave. The first stream of tears flowed down Jessica's cheek as she watched Taeyeon taking steps away from her. However, she wasn't the only one. With each step Taeyeon took, tears were flowing down seamlessly as well.

***

It was 2 in the morning. A few hours since Jessica last saw Taeyeon at the bar. She was back at home, on her bed, but she couldn't sleep. After much hesitation, she finally reached for her phone which was left on the bedside table. With uncertainty, her thumb hovered above the call button before she finally tapped on it.

Her heart raced as the call got connected.

"Hello..." That one word from Taeyeon rendered Jessica speechless for a while, tears immediately filling her eyes. "Hello...?"

Jessica was snapped out of her trance. "A-ah hello..."

There was silence for a while, before Taeyeon spoke up, "Why...are you calling...?"

"Uh..." Jessica's voice turned hoarse and she cleared , and then she continued, "I thought... Um... I just wanted to... I want to... Just...talk to you like this again before we...before we..."

"I get it. Don't explain any more. I get it." The hurt in Taeyeon's voice was too painful for Jessica to bear. Then, when a gentle laugh reached Jessica's ear, she had to cover to prevent herself from crying aloud.

Jessica took a moment to breathe. "W-why...are you laughing...?" She tried to smile while she talked.

"It's nice to laugh, isn't it?"

"Mmm. You're right. But you don't usually laugh like this isn't it?"

"Stop teasing me about my ahjumma laughter. Do you think that your laughter is any better?"

"At least it's better than yours, I'm certain."

Taeyeon laughed yet again, before the laughter slowly faded away. "Jessica," she suddenly called out.

"Hmm? Yes?"

"What was your first impression of me?"

"My first impression?"

"Yeah."

Jessica tried to think of the first time she saw Taeyeon, and suddenly, the tears that had stopped only a while ago started welling up again. "Hmm..." She tried to keep her voice stable. "I just thought you were...annoying..."

"Ah is that so?"

"But I don't think so now!" Jessica quickly explained.

"I know, I know," Taeyeon laughed before she said.

"It's difficult to not fall in love with you," Jessica casually commented, and then she regretted it almost immediately.

Taeyeon didn't reply instantly, and the two girls stayed silent for a while. Unexpectedly, Taeyeon replied, "I can say the same for you."

Jessica could only force a laugh before she slightly hummed in response.

"Jessica."

"Yeah?"

"Can you sing a song for me?"

"Huh?"

"I just thought... I'm always the one singing for you. I want you to sing for me too."

"Oh... I don't think I sing as well as you though..."

"It's okay. I still want to hear it."

"Okay... What do you want me to sing?"

"Sing whatever you want to. Sing me to sleep." Jessica could feel her heart sink. She knew that their conversation was going to end soon. Their last conversation. But she figured, she could do this for Taeyeon at the very least.

"Okay. Close your eyes, Taengoo."

Jessica rarely called Taeyeon by nicknames, and it was so heartwarming, yet so cold at the same time, to hear Jessica calling her like this in such a situation. Trying her best to hold back her tears, Taeyeon replied, "Okay."

"Alright, here goes..."

I've got to see you wherever you are
And I've got to be there, I'm wishing on stars
I've got to reveal what's inside of my heart

But the words escape me and I'm paralysed
So helpless when I look into your eyes

And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew how I love you, baby

Honestly, I know it's silly of me
To want you so badly but keep it concealed
See my inferiority complex kicks in

And the words escape me and I'm paralysed
So helpless when I look into your eyes

And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew how I love you, baby

Jessica's face was stained with tears by the time she finished the last words of the song. Taking a deep breath, she spoke into the phone once more. "Are you...asleep...?"

Silence.

This time, Jessica couldn't control herself as she sniffled. Still, she didn't hang up. After she had managed to stop those tears, she sniffled once more, and then she began. "Taeyeon ah... I just want you to know that I'm...I'm so sorry... I really wish you knew how much I love you... But we... It's never gonna work out... If I hold on to you, one day we're gonna have to leave each other... At that time... I... I don't think I can do it. So I'm doing it now... I know that I'm cruel... But I don't want you to get hurt... It's okay if I get hurt, but I really don't want you to get hurt... Maybe I'm just a coward... I... I'm just really sorry... Taeyeon ah I... I miss you... Please be happy... Don't be hurt because of me... I'm not worth it. I'm not worth you getting hurt for... You get it...?" Jessica didn't know what else to say, and then she finally pained herself to say the last few words to Taeyeon. "I...love you...a lot... Bye... Taeyeon..." Her hand shaking, Jessica reluctantly removed her phone from her ear as she ended the call, her tears flowing endlessly yet again.

Little did Jessica know that the girl on the other end of the call was never asleep for even a moment while she listened to each and every word she said. Even though the line was already dead, Taeyeon muttered into her phone with tears gently falling from her eyes, "I love you too, Sica ya... Bye..."

[A/N] 1/11/2014

I wasn't expecting this chapter to be this long, but anyway, here's the chapter for yesterday. That amount of angst... I know, I know. Even so, I obviously can't tell you the rest of the story right now. So before the rest of the story is revealed, write me something? (Don't scold me that much though... *laughs*)

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