Author’s Notes

So this fic basically started from a thought I had one day of what if the boys didn’t end up being a band. That made me think of the idea of making Jaejoong and Junsu brothers and my first thought was actually that scene where Junsu was asking Jaejoong why he wouldn’t let people in (from chapter 26). And it sort of started from there.

Thoughts on the Chapters:

Chapter One

I distinctly remember imagining Yoochun sitting on the ground crying because he got beat up. I wanted to immediately send the message that his relationship with Jaejoong was an important one because Jae sort of acted like his protector. I also wanted to portray a cute Junsu and I must say that the little Junsu and baby Changmin characters are probably my favorites really in this whole fic.

Chapter Two

Writing little Junsu and young Yoochun was really fun. Although I gave Yoochun a lot of angst even from the very beginning, it really helped me shape the story. It gave me someone to root for which was exactly the kids and of course YunJae as a couple. This was also the first time that we saw baby Changmin talking.

Chapter Three

Nothing special about this chap except the highlight which was baby Changmin and Jaejoong bonding. This was also the first time I used a cliffhanger.

Chapter Four

I really wanted to show a domesticated family scene for them. They were starting to comfortably settle in their roles and I needed to build on that. Also this is the first time we see Yunho getting confused over Junsu. I actually don’t know why I did that but I really liked it. I think it sort of gives a realness to it because I do know of some parents who tell me that they sort of don’t understand how their kid thinks.

Chapter Five

So they move in together. At this point everything was still platonic for Jaejoong although not for very long and certainly not for Yunho. This was also the start of when Yoochun started having a crush on Jae. You could say that Yoochun was actually having a hero worship on Jae (pun not intended, lol!).

Chapter Six

Jae started falling and Yoochun was just flat out infatuated with Jae at this point. This was scary for me to write because I didn’t want to overwhelm the story with sappiness and make it too cheesy (I don’t if I succeeded or not, so yeah, haha!). I liked how the scene ended though with Jaejoong and Yunho on each side of the door.

Chapter Seven

Ah here we see a scared Jaejoong. He was still in denial because he knew that if he and Yunho crossed the line that it wouldn’t end well for all. This was also the start of the inevitable angst for them because of the whole Yoochun in school thing.

Chapter Eight

This was a tough chapter to write because it was hard to deal with Yoochun’s confusion. While writing this I had to imagine being a child who was confused and being an adult who had no idea how to answer my child’s questions and so I did the best that I could. And that YunJae scene in the kitchen, oh the feels. I really wanted them to have an intimate moment which would force Jae to face the truth about him and Yunho. That kiss at the end seriously makes my heart flutter still when I think about it. Soft, sweet kisses even in fics make me weak *blush*

Chapter Nine

No one can resist Jung Yunho for very long is definitely the theme of this chap, lol! Jae broke down and gave in to Yunho (finally!). I did enjoy writing the by Yunho and Junsu but hot damn if I didn’t love writing that scene where Junsu and Yunho talk about the oo on Yunho’s lips. I absolutely remember giggling so much when that thought struck me and I actually wrote a chapter in the office (the first of many chapters written at work). This is also the first time we see the music box.

Chapter Ten

That scene in the kitchen when Yoochun asks Jaejoong when he was supposed to know if he was gay has a lot of significance for me. I am a Christian and I also went through a short phase in my life when I struggled with my uality. I wanted to show that here, that struggle of having to deal with thinking that something might be different in you and the importance of having an older person to be your support system. But I also wanted to portray how Jaejoong and Yunho are also kids themselves that they were also going through their own stages of confusion.

Chapter Eleven

Oh the angst. Enough said.

Chapter Twelve

More angst. Looking back, I now feel sorry.

Chapter Thirteen/Fourteen

I’ll edit this out later.

Chapter Fifteen

More angst but it’s also the first time we see Leeteuk’s character.

Chapter Sixteen

I really enjoyed writing the interaction between the adults and little Junsu in this chapter. Junsu is such a sweet little boy. I cried buckets when I wrote how Changmin developed an ear infection. It was honestly as though I felt Yunho and Jaejoong’s pain.

Chapter Seventeen/Eighteen

The courtroom scenes were actually funny to me when I wrote them. I felt like John Grisham, lol! I had to ask friends who were either lawyers or who were studying law to help me out with certain scenes (which is probably why some of you felt them to be authentic).

Chapter Nineteen

That scene between Changmin and Jaejoong had me in tears. Once again I was at the office writing this and tears just wouldn’t stop falling.

Chapter Twenty

Another courtroom scene. More conflicts thrown in.

Chapter Twenty One

I wanted to give YunJae some time to breathe. This was also the first time they told each other, “I love you.”

Chapter Twenty Two/Twenty Three

Apparently this was a double post OTL. Sorry about that you guys. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing that cigarette scene. I also enjoyed writing that scene between Yunho and Leeteuk. I couldn’t help but laugh at how embarrassed Yunho felt talking about his relationship with Jae.

Chapter Twenty Four

Ah, this is for me the heart of the whole fic. I mentioned earlier that I am a Christian but I honestly believe what Yoochun said. For me allowing gays to marry is a civil rights issue. And allowing gays to adopt should not take as much importance as the fact that it gives children a chance to be loved. I feel sad that some people feel that it would be better for kids to stay unadopted because they’re afraid of what might happen if gays adopted them. That’s just plain dumb.

Chapter Twenty Five

This chapter had me in tears for days. When I first outlined it I didn’t have anything to write with or on so I literally had to say the lines out and I was sobbing like crazy. When I finally wrote it out, I had to stop repeatedly because I couldn’t see what I was writing anymore. That scene between Changmin and YunJae broke my heart so many times over. And then Yunho leaves, the .

Chapter Twenty Six

The beginning of the end. So we see them fifteen years later and things have changed for all of them. I really liked this chapter.

Chapter Twenty Seven

I liked writing the budding relationship between JaeSuMin.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Ah, the scattered clues as to who Mickey was. I really enjoyed everyone’s comments on who he was. That was a lot of fun. Ah and we see their reunion with Yoochun and of course the return of Yunho. This chapter also got the most comments I think.

Chapter Twenty Nine

That kiss had me in tears, once again. It would’ve been easy to just end the entire fic there. But I wanted them to find Changmin first.

Chapter Thirty

Their fight was really funny to write because you could see how much they loved each other and I just wanted to slap them in the back of their heads. But their feelings were real. They were both afraid. I did cry though when Jaejoong finally told Yunho that he was scared to have been alone when Yunho left him, the .

Chapter Thirty One

Another chap that had me in tears. Honestly, I wish the chapter was longer. I, however, couldn’t write anymore than what was written. Maybe I’ll revisit this at a later date and write more. Hopefully. I do hope you liked the ending though. But if it's not clear to some, Mickey is Changmin. The music they heard at the end was actually from the music box that Jaejoong gave baby Changmin before he was taken by the social worker. Yoochun told Mickey about Changmin and he realized that the he was their brother. Changmin/Mickey refused to meet with his brothers because he felt that he already had a family in Jaejoong/Junsu/Yoochun that he didn't want the complication of meeting his real brothers. I guess it is a bit confusing but Mickey felt that because he already had Jaejoong that he didn't have to meet with his real brothers anymore, not really knowing that had he met them, he would have learned that Yoochun and Yunho were his real brothers which is why at the end, when Yunho came for Jae, Mickey called Yunho, hyung. He then decided to reveal himself through the music box.

So, I just really want to thank each and everyone of you for riding this emotional roller coaster of a fic with me. To those who have recommended this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I especially want to thank those who have been with me from the start (I’m not going to write down your names but you know who you are), I am grateful for you. To all of those who commented, you guys are crazy wonderful and I thank you so much. You have no idea what your comments mean to me, seriously.

I’ll be writing an epilogue which I’ll post hopefully by Sunday (which happens to be my birthday, wheeeeee!!! Lol!). I won’t tag this fic as completed until then. I’ll add another chapter but only to post a link to the epilogue which will also be a stand alone one shot fic so please wait for it. Until then, it’s been a pleasure writing for you guys. Thanks!!! Oh and follow me on tumblr as dreamweever and on twitter as @dreamweever126 for updates on my future fics.