15 Years Ago (Age 20)

Dear Chanyeol,

How come we're still writing 'Dear' before every letter? Isn't convention just odd? We don't say that when we're talking on the phone: "Hello dear Chanyeol, hello dear Yixing" but just because it's paper we have to say Dear?

Moving on. 

It's the middle of summer and kind of hot. Know how I can tell? I spent more time outdoors these days. I actually went to the beach the other day! Can you imagine! Me at the beach? I've only lived her my whole life near some of the nicest beaches in the world (or not), but before this summer I could probably count all the times I played in sand on one and a half hands. Now I can count them on two and a half hands. What are these tan lines...

Henry's gone back to China for the summer, so it's basically just me and Joon. He's actually moving into an apartment before the next school year and I'm moving back home. It doesn't sound as bad as that (like we're not friends anymore). It really is just cheaper. But either way it's kind of good. These last few months living together have been awkward, and I swear it's not even me making it that way. I've acted completely the same around Joon, but I think now I make him uncomfortable, now that I know? I don't understand. But we've promised to remain best friends even and hang out all the time even though we don't live on campus anymore. 

This letter was all about me. Again.

How is your life?

Yixing. 

Dear Yixing,

No matter what I do I can't NOT write dear after that name. You know I'll probably get a wife one day (well that's a given isn't it) and she's going to uncover a stack of your letters and look up the word 'dear' and wonder why some guy in California has been writing love sentiments to me since we were 10 years old and still will be when we're 50. Oh well. Moving on, as you say.

Now read closely because I think I'm about to do something incredible. (And if not then I'm about to screw up your whole life but if you love you like you say you do you'll forgive me). Do you think that Joon likes you, and that's why he's uncomfortable? Because you basically wrote last that you 'friend-zoned' him. And I know a whole lot about friend-zoning because it's happened to me A LOT since high school.

Well anyways, I'm off. Now that I may have put ideas into your head that shouldn't have been there in the first place!

Just kidding. Or maybe I'm not. But I think I'll talk about me now. Whole lot of boring, I'm halfway through college and I hate it. Jongin doesn't have time for me and but he's setting me up on a date next week, and my parents don't even know about it. What if she's not on their list of approved heiresses?? It probably won't matter because she'll just friend-zone me and then Jongin will pity me and I'll beg him never to do such things again.

Lame, I'm lame.

Your friend Chanyeol

P.S. Seriously tell me what happens or if I'm right and if I'm wrong then you can punch the air, because you won't be able to punch me. Hah.

Chanyeol,

THERE I didn't say Dear. Now I feel bad though. Do-over:

Dear Chanyeol,

Thanks for the 'something incredible'. I actually haven't asked him yet because I'm too chicken to do it. But now that I think about it, I swear I'm noticing... things. I don't even know what to call it and I don't think you want a laundry list of all the things I'm thinking of that possibly prove that my former gay roommate now best friend likes me. But I'm nearly positive you're right and I don't know what to do about that. So I do nothing. 

Part of the reason is that I just don't have time right now. I don't know how other people manage social lives with this kind of work, but I've got less than two years of college left and I'm suddenly in a panic because I have course requirements I need to meet in order to stick to my 4 year graduation plan, so I'm taking on a whole lot more classes and projects and everything gets harder the more advanced you get. All this is an excuse really to keep me from thinking about Joon, but I like the guy. I really do. And I like hanging out with him and Henry and I don't want to mess that up. They want to go on another trip this winter break...

Anyways you haven't ruined my life. Yet.

Good luck on your date. Can't be any more stressful than my situation right now. Okay you did ruin my life, because now I'm stressed and it's your fault. 

From one awful friend to another,

Yixing

Dear Yixing,

You're not an awful friend. You can blame me. It's okay. I'll take everything you throw at me. What can you do to me anyway? See, maybe it's a good thing we've never met in person. I can always be this vaguely distant stranger across the globe that you can pinpoint all your sorrows on.

Sorry you're stressed. I called you last week, but your mom said you were busy studying so I said not to bother you. Why did I write that. I should have just kept it a secret forever. Don't call me because you feel bad now! (If you even do feel bad... which you probably don't because I'm a y friend who feeds you bad information to make you stressed and I don't deserve a phone call.)

The terrible part is that my date went well and now I feel guilty about that. Her name is Yoonsuh and I know you probably don't care but she's super pretty and she laughed at my jokes and said I was cute, and when I make a point that she was absolutely not obligated to see me again she insisted on getting my number and said she'd see me again. 

I'm in heaven.

Please write or call or tell me something soon about how you are doing because heaven isn't the same without you.

I really hope you can't read the crap I just crossed out.

Your idiot friend, Chanyeol

Dear Chanyeol,

I'm going to apologize in advance that this letter will be short, but... since you insisted you wanted to know, I figured I should tell you and put you out of your misery. Just, don't ask me details because I'm still trying to come up with explanations myself. I think I'm dating Joon. I mean, I am. Not just thinking about it, but am. Yeah lots of things have happened, and this is all kind of new and weird but. I told you.

Now I'm going to go and put everything on a limb and mail this before I turn coward and rip it to shreds because... your opinion matters, and now I'm kind of scared about this.

Yixing

My apologies for the endlessly long wait-time for this chapter. And for the cliffhanger. Shouldn't be as long next time though. For those of you who are only reading this, I got distracted by a long vacation and then a work fiasco and then spent several weeks getting my other fics in order. See links below if you are interested. :)

Rosie 

Between Spotlights - Super long Kaibaek dance fic

Little Cat, Who Made Thee - Kitty!au Taohun

We Used To Be So Good Together - Twoshot completed Xiuhan

Write Me Into Your Fiction, Hyung - New Kaisoo fic in the planning stages

Strangers on the Street - Chen plus Original Character (my only hetero fic)