20 Years Ago (Age 15)

Dear Chanyeol-ah,

What, don't Koreans call each other like that? I could be mistaken. 

My friends went out for the night - some high school football game that I'm not interested in. Instead I'm sitting at home like a nerd writing a letter. You know, if you knew me in real life you'd probably run the other way. I'm way too boring to be worth knowing, and also my handwriting so I don't know how you manage to read it, let alone reply.

I would play guitar right now except I accidentally hit my left hand against a brick wall earlier. I may or may not have gotten a bad grade in math and I was angry. Don't feel like I'm writing though only because I have nothing better to do. I could've gone to the game. I just wasn't in the mood to be social. Okay maybe I do have nothing better to do...

So what's your life like these days? I feel like I never ask you much. Letter writing is weird like that. I write and I tell you everything about myself, and then you write and tell me about yourself, and we spend 2 lines pretending like we actually read what the other is saying. Maybe this isn't a bad thing though. Get stuff off our chests this way. Anyways, what's with you?

Your totally boring friend,

Yixing

Dear Yixing.

Get a life. Actually, no that's cool. You can be as boring as you want to be because I really wouldn't know any better. I stole a piece a paper from my friend so I can write during study break. Do you need math tutoring? I could tutor you. You should drop by my house some day - heh heh. I could also lend you some friends. I have too many of them. I don't know why. I just like being around people most of the time, and people like being around me. Maybe I sound too conceited... but it's true though! 

I wish I had more time to play guitar. A few minutes here and there, and that's all I get. You don't know how lucky you are to get two days off on a weekend. I'm jealous. Maybe I should move to California. Aren't there student exchange programs? I could move in with you and then you could teach me how to be a boring person too. Just kidding. 

I'd teach you how to be a happy excited person with too many friends. Maybe my coolness would rub off? 

Your totally awesome foreign friend.

Think of me in class all day every day. 

Chanyeol

Dear Chanyeol,

Sure, thanks. Make fun of me. But at least help me in math. I got 2 + 2 = 4 but don't ask me to subtract 2 from 4. Okay I'm not that bad. Geometry is hell though. Who needs this crap anyway? I'm positive it'll be useless as soon as I'm out of school. Which I wish was yesterday. 6 day school week though? I'll throw myself a party to celebrate my incredible luck. You're invited. Mark the date 2 weeks from today at 8:00 pm Pacific time and you can do a happy dance at the exact same time. Or maybe you'll be asleep by then. I can't figure out time zones, so don't ask me to.

Keep your friends. I don't need them. I have my cat and the beach and we take nice long walks every night. In my head. How are you with girls anyway? I never really thought of myself as good looking but now there's this girl at school who keeps hanging around me and calling me cute, and I don't know what to do about it. Should I date her? Her voice is whiny. But she's really pretty. And whiny. I should probably give it a shot, huh?

Need advice asap. Shame that long distance phone calls are so expensive. Or maybe you're a dud with girls too and I shouldn't bother asking you. Give me the proof that you're good with girls, and then I'll consider letting you live here as a exchange student. But definitely not otherwise.

Yixing,

girl-clueless and in need of help.

Dear Yixing,

Here's a picture of me and my two girlfriends. Yeah I'm a pimp. Actually only one of them is my girlfriend, and the other is her best friend. If it doesn't work out with the girl you know, I'll hook you up someday. 

You want advice? Okay here goes: Be nice, smile a lot, carry her stuff, buy her ice cream, buy her friends ice cream, actually buy her and her friends whatever they want. And if you're not broke yet (which I am) you're good to go. Maybe I should rethink this. I don't even have a real allowance like you get and my parents say they won't let me get a job until I'm out of college. Education first. Hey send me some money like the best friend you are. I'll exchange it when it arrives. Or just show off my cool American money and pretend like I have a hot foreign girlfriend. Too bad you don't have a sister to send me a picture. If she had dimples like yours, now that would be a show piece of a girl!

Now I sound creepy. Ignore that. I already have a girlfriend. I already have a girlfriend.

Your not a creeper friend,

Chanyeol

Dear Creeper-yeol

Nice pic. You look like a dog though. Is that why both girls are holding you by the ears? Looks like it hurts. 

I went on one date with that girl. No point even writing her name down. It didn't go well. My friends' parents picked up a bunch of us to go to the movies together, so maybe it was a double date or even a triple date? Except it wasn't all couples, and the girls ended up hanging out together and the guys hung out together, and I bought her a candy that cost too much money, and then she wanted a drink too. I bought that but she didn't even drink it. So we sat next to each other in the movie but it was just awkward and I pretty much ignored her and then we all went home. Next day at school I said Hi and she just said Hi and that was it. 

I failed, but I'm kind of relieved. One less thing to worry about.

Sorry I don't have a hot sister. I have a cousin but she's not that pretty. Should I put on a wig and take a picture? My mom says I should have been a girl. She even thought I was going to be a girl when she was pregnant with me. Try living with that thought for most of your life. She even had the baby girl dresses all ready to go. Good thing they don't fit anymore! I only persuaded her to let me cut my hair shorter a few years ago. 

Would we still be assigned penpals if I'd been a girl? Probably not. I'm sorry for you because then you would have gotten a cooler penpal, but me, I would've got some air head for a penpal, so... yeah, I don't want to even think about that.

This letter is way too long now. 

Still boring, but at least I'm not a girl,

Yixing.

Age 15 in this chapter now and much more in sync with each other. :)

FYI, I try to think about all the things I used to write about when I had penpals, or at last all the random discussion topics I would jump to without warning. The internet these days gives us so many more opportunties to discuss personal things with strangers, things we wouldn't normally talk about to people in real life, but back then you only had letters to a person across the country or even world. It was a one-stop outlet and absolutely precious to have.

Next chapter will be at least 2 years forward. 

Rosie