11 Years Ago (Age 24)

Dear Chanyeol,

I'm sending this letter separate from the package with my guitar recordings, because who knows how long it will take to ship something like that across the world. Letters themselves take long enough, and I can't bear to deprive you of my beautiful words for any longer than you can handle. I know how you dote on them. And if you don't, then shame on you.

Have I mentioned that grad school is awesome? As in destroying my life - or at least my social life. It's not even the classes or the work or the essays themselves. It's the accursed student teaching. I should never have signed up as a TA, but now I'm staring at two feet of freshman essays that I need to grade, and what am I doing instead? Writing you a letter. Don't feel special. I'm using you as an excuse right now, because I slacked off all weekend long working on those guitar recordings, and now it's Monday and I should be working again. I have my own research to deal with, and a date this evening, which will probably turn into no research, a cramped hand from marking all over essays in red ink, and Joon falling asleep on the couch with a pizza box under his arm as I work late into the night. Romantic, no? I should probably quit writing you now while I'm still ahead and can still feel the muscles in my hand.

I promise to write more later. Actually, no promises.

Hey, how about we give up this whole penpal thing? It's a waste of time. ;)

Yixing

Chanyeol,

I hope you can play these things. I have heard the world is moving towards CDs, but I haven't actually gone out and purchased any blanks yet. Meanwhile I had these blank cassettes sitting around collecting dust. Anyways, here are two covers and a few self-compositions. If you can do better, do boast about it and send me something back. 

Yixing

Dear Yixing

You better not give up this penpal thing. By the way, isn't that a weird word in English? I mean, are we pals? It feels weird to call you a pal when we've never met. What do pals do anyway? Hang out? Be friends? You're more like a personal diary that occasionally responds to whatever I say. Except... you know, I like you more than I like my diary. If I kept a diary. Which I don't, because I have you... Moving on.

Maybe I need more penpals therefore more people outside of my own little world will care about me? You're up at weird times of the day - from my perspective anyways - so it's like I always have someone awake in the world to think about me. I swear that's not creepy at all. Moving on.

I got both your letter and the tapes now. I was waiting to respond until it came. It's kind of strange, listening to you play music that you recorded weeks ago. Like some part of you is even 'realer' than what comes out in letters, or even the telephone. I'm going to work on something, and record it and send it back. Until then I'm just going to listen to this over and over. Thank you for making it though. It's pretty cool that after all this time just talking about guitar, I can actually hear you play it long distance.

Be grateful you're still in grad school, and therefore you still have a future. Mine's still pretty lame, although at least I've moved on from coffee boy. I've got a real cubicle now. Don't ask me what I actually do during work hours. I barely know myself.

Your pal, Chanyeol

Yep that sounds weird.

Chanyeol

Dear Chanyeol, Hey Pal.

You better keep your word and send me a recording soon. Even a few chords will do, otherwise I may not even believe that you can play guitar. You may have been stringing me along all this time and lying out of your... fingers. Of course you could also be lying about what you look like, and your name, and maybe you hired someone else with a deep, y voice to call every now and then. How's a guy to know anyway? Seriously, when are you coming to California?

By the way, you haven't mentioned how your marriage plans are going lately. Yes, picture me laughing right now. Are you even engaged yet? Has she shown you a dress? Do you know what rings look like? They're round and pretty and have giant diamonds on them that girls (apparently) are obsessed with getting. I should know, because Joon and I have had to deal with Henry these past few months going crazy over his girlfriend. He officially ditched the girl in China last year (I suspect it was the other way around), but now he's got a new girlfriend, and she's a clinger. She wants a promise ring. Have you heard of such a thing? I still don't get the concept - but basically it's a promise to always be together, but not as together as engaged-together? Why not just call it a gift or plain jewelry? Why does it have to be so bizarrely special? Maybe this is why I never figured out girls.

Joon gave me a bracelet for my birthday. It's plain gold with two intertwining chain links, fastened at intervals and there are no promises involved. His immediate future is still somewhat undecided, and we haven't really talked about it. He finishes school next year though, and then something will have to change. I don't know what yet, but in the meantime we just pretend everything's fine and always will be. Is that bad... to pretend like that? I don't know. 

After you've sorted out your life, how about you sort out mine?

Write back soon!! I need the distraction of somebody else's life!

Yixing

Dear Yixing,

I am one step closer to marriage - and no, still not engaged. I moved out. I have my own apartment now. It used to belong to my aunt but she just moved to another town with her husband, and the family wants to keep the property in the family. Basically I was kicked out of my parents' house because... who knows. But I suspect this apartment is a gift along the lines of 'here is a nice place, and perfect for a family someday.' Also, now I'm responsible for most of my own meals, and they probably think that'll make me want a wife that much sooner. I'm 24 and living on ramen and kimchi, and there's nothing wrong with that. Joke's on them, my parents. Haha. I probably should feed myself better though.

Yoonsuh has a full-time job now, and she says she still loves me and wants to get married some day, but first her career. I can live with that. Anyways though, now I live by myself and I hope this is entertaining enough to distract you from... life. But I doubt it. I've always been boring, as you well know. And because I'm boring, I really don't know what to advise you about your love life, and you probably don't want my advice anyways since I am clueless about life and don't have any better experience than you. So... hope it goes well? And maybe you should talk about it sometime? Before he suddenly has to go home?

Yeah, sorry, that's the best I can do. We may be pals, but whoever said pals are intelligent people with the answers to the world. Not me, surely! I just write and write and hope you keep on responding.

Yeah, write or call sometime. 

Chanyeol

P.S. You think my voice is y? Wow. I won't tell Joon you said that, if you don't! Not that I could tell him anyways.

I just wanted to say, thank you to the nearly 100 people who were curious enough to click on this story and subscribe. Hope it lives up to your expectations! Anyways, get ready from some great changes ahead. Yes, the dawn of e-mail is on Chanxing's horizon, and some other changes too! Can you guess any of them?

<3 Rosie

P.S. If you want to see a different side of Yixing, I started a new Layhan last week: However You Can Float