13 Years Ago (Age 22)

Dear Yixing,

How are we this old? Where has life gone and why is it moving so fast? On the other hand, why is it moving so slow? Some days I sit around and fret because I'm already 22 years old and what have I accomplished with my life? A basic business degree and internship in a boring accounting firm. Oh, I have a girlfriend still. So that's something. Wow don't tell her I said it like that. I mean, I love Yoonsuh, really. I don't mean to pretend that it's just so so, because I mean, I really like her!

Even if her parents keep hinting we should get married... right away. She doesn't want to yet, thank goodness, because I'm not ready for that yet. A modern woman - that's what I need. Hooray! Because it's what I've got!

Back to the subject though. We're at that age where we're technically adults, but still nobody treats us like that yet, especially here. What's it like for you? Because here everything is hierarchy and that's great and fine but when's it my turn to not be the coffee/errand boy??

Short letter, I'm sorry. I'm about to crash.

Chanyol

Chanyeol

(can't spell my name apparently, too tired)

Dear Chanyol,

What's wrong with that spelling? I think it still works. ;)

Sorry I can't help you with the getting old thing, or not being old enough. You are helping me to appreciate the fact that I'm still in school though. Getting a Masters degree may not be the easiest thing I've ever done, but at least I don't have to enter the workforce yet. How's that for dodging life? Maybe I should remain a perpetual student. I like this kind of life, especially because as long as I'm still in school I get to live at home and not pay 100% of the bills. It means I still have some cash to spend on advanced guitar lessons, even if I don't technically have the time for it. I should mail you CD of me playing it sometime. Once I actually record something that doesn't make me cringe. 

So, when should I expect the wedding invitation?

I'm kidding! 

But seriously, how long are you two going to hold out? It's been almost two years. Certainly that's long-term enough for Koreans? 

Joon has been having some problems with his family back home. He's refusing to go back and visit, and somehow they've found out he's in a gay relationship (with me). Probably one of his sisters said something. One of them came to visit last summer and never quite believed that we were just friends. Smart girl, but now it's become a fuss. You know I never really considered this side of it all. Technically I've never even told my own parents, but they figured it out on their own. Maybe they've lived in California so long, but my mom only asked me once if I could be persuaded to get a girlfriend. It was after Joon was over for a long weekend, and when he left I told her 'no' and that was that. Easy really. But now I've got a depressed boyfriend, and he's lucky he's got into that post-graduate program otherwise he'd have to go back and deal with this. It's a 3 year program though, and I guess that's something else we'll have to discuss sometime. Him staying here or going back.

I don't really want him to move back to Korea... obviously. How do people do long distance relationships anyways? 

Maybe if he goes back, even for a short time, I could visit and then meet you? What do you think.

Yixing

Dear Yixing,

I'm all for Joon having to move back home! And, not for any... weird reasons. I mean, I don't want you guys to break up, because I'd be a mean friend if I suggested something like that. No, but if you got to visit Korea, then I'd get to see you. Hey, why do you have to wait for Joon to hypothetically move back here to come and visit? Why can't you just tell everyone there, boyfriend included, that you have a very important friend to see (or meet for the first time). I'm sure everyone would understand.

Also, who's to say long distance doesn't work? We've worked for 12 years now! (Don't tell Joon. Oh wait, he already knows.)

You jinxed me by the way about the wedding. I'm not saying the invitations are going out tomorrow, or this week, or even this month or year. But when I made the mistake of visiting my apparently-future-in-laws I was sat down on the sofa and made to look over possible designs for the stupid invitations. I haven't even bought a ring! I haven't even thought about buying a ring! We're not engaged! Officially. Yet.

It's all making this very awkward, and Yoonsuh is mortified her family did that. Have I mentioned what an angel she is? Because she is! Dark dark hair and a pretty face and, well you've seen her picture. Anyways, we're still agreed we don't want to be pushed into anything but this is getting out of hand. Awkward. Have I described it as awkward yet? Her dad acts like I knocked her up already and it's terribly important to get married.

I'm on the second page of this poor piece of paper, and I really don't need to continue ranting. I'm not mad. Just grumpy. Really grumpy. Oh well.

Help me!

Your miserable friend, Chanyeol (not really though. Just grumpy.)

Dear Chanyeol,

You know there's a very simple answer to this: tell her family you're gay. 

Oh wow, look at the time. Don't have any time to spare to continue this letter... Like that line will even work on you. I'm probably going to ramble myself, and of course you'll see that the moment you open this letter.

Do you ever open up mail (or letters from yours truly) and immediately scan how long it is? I have a weird rating for letters like this. First of all there's the bill, junk mail, credit card application kind of mail which automatically gets trashed (if it's not a legitimate bill). Then there are the personal letters. Sometimes from my parents' family in China. They send things every now and then to my parents or to me. Nice handwriting in Chinese characters I have to remember how to read because I don't see them enough anymore, but it makes my mom happy when she gets them. I swear they are essays. Two or three pages in tiny print and it takes her ages to read.

And then there are you letters, and don't think I'm about to get sappy because if I open it up and see a short letter, well of course that's depressing because obviously you don't love me enough to take the time to say more than a few short words about your useless life (to me - just kidding). But also if it's really long I'm just going to assume that you have a whole lot to say and most of it is just going to be rambling, and I have to set it aside until I can find the time to read it because *yawn*

I feel very mercenary now... 

Actually, that was all pretend - that I don't get really happy when I see long letters, and I immediately tear into them. It's just the responding part that takes longer...

By the way, my dream of becoming a writer is one step closer. I got a small fictional story published in the college paper. Incidentally, it's kind of a story about two people who meet through letters and become great friends. So, basically it's us: only the prose version of us. Maybe I'll send it to you sometime. It's called One Letter a Year. I decided to create a pseudonym from it for myself: Lay. Maybe you call me that from now on, huh? Joon thinks it's catchy. He's also got some other jokes for it, but I'll spare you the details.

Yixing aka Lay, the soon to be brilliant author.

Dear Lay,

This totally short letter is just to inform you that another essay-long letter will arrive in the mail shortly. Or maybe in a few weeks. Enjoy my lack of words. You know how I like ramble.

Chanyeol

P.S. This is a waste of a stamp isn't it? 

It is, I just know it.

Well now, and here Lay is finally born. P.S. I will probably write that prose version one day, after I'm done with the letter-narrative of this story. Consider it a future bonus, because letters like these do not always intimate what the letter-writers are really thinking. 

Sorry for the long delay again. I really do get distracted by life. And other fics, hah but I just can't stop writing and I try to rotate each story as evenly as possible, but really I must write when I feel inspired, and sometimes a fic gets skipped. I'll try to get better at it. Especially for this story!

<3 Rosie