Present Day

Dear Jongin,

Can you believe me? I made it to California finally, and before you get scared that I went on a post-card craze, sorry for the 5 cards I mailed yesterday. Yixing and I went shopping and they were 10/$1 and after I sent 5 to each of my respective family members, I didn't know who else to send the others to and I figured it would be lame if I mailed them to myself. The best thing is that half of them are of the beach, and I think I established that I don't like the beach, but neither does Yixing so that's perfect. Look at all the picture-perfect memories of a sunset and weep, my friend. Meanwhile, I'm living in palm tree heaven and I have another week left to be here so, that's good.

So, here is the part where I talk about Yixing. Everything about him, what it's like meeting somebody who feels like a part of you but you've never met in the flesh. Jongin, it was sparks! No it wasn't. We met at the airport and then he drove me home, and we did a little lame sight-seeing while talking awkwardly and damn, what am I even doing here. I don't know anymore. This is possibly the dumbest, scariest thing I've ever done in my life. Can I talk about the palm trees now? They are enormously tall! Yixing isn't very tall. I feel like a palm tree next to him. Too tall, too skinny, always swaying hesitantly. He said my hair resembles one, but that was after I woke up the first morning, so I think that comparison is completely unfair.

I saw Joon again a few nights ago. He came over and we went out to dinner, and he asked about you. I said you were fine. He has a nice boyfriend now, so he says, but I didn't meet him. It was awkward already sitting in between Yixing and Joon and thinking that they once... but then you were once... and did I mention that Yixing's cats are cute! Anyways, it's not probably as awkward as I'm making out. Or maybe it is, and I'm just happily oblivious of it? The cats, truly, are precious and adorable and so fuzzy!

I'm glad I came. I am. I'm glad. This is fun and I get to meet Yixing, and now when people ask me who he is, I don't have to dance around some long explanation about being only decades-long penpals. I know what he looks like up close. I know how his face moves when he talks. I can see his eyes when he laughs, and not just through a computer screen. All these little things I never knew before, and each one makes me want to jump ship and rush back to Korea. Why am I here again? To say that I came? To meet and shake his hand? To get drunk and start talking louder than normal so that it sounds to me like flirting, but well, that's how we've always been and just because we're no longer safe and long distance doesn't make it something different now. California is nice, but I want to go home now. 

Anyways, hope this letter finds you. You should really give me an updated schedule of what cities you're going to be in the for the next couple months so I know where to direct my angst. 

Signing off now,

Chanyeol

 To: Yixing 

Good morning. Is he up yet?

                                       To: Joon

                                       No

                                       At least I think he may be but he hasn't come out of his room yet this morning

Lol. You should wake him up.

                                       And risk walking in on him halfway ? 

                                       No thanks

I thought you liked living dangerously.

                                       I do.

                                       Long-distance.

Too close for comfort now?

                                       Exactly.

Wimp.

                                       Yes, I am. Now leave me alone.

Okay okay just asking.

So, are you going to say anything?

                                       You really don't follow instructions for very long.

Of course not.

Who else do you know is going to motivate you to confess

                                       I don't know what you're talking about

Sure you don't

Yixing... I know you better than you give me credit for

                                       Leave me alone I'm busy

Busy waiting for Chanyeol to wake up?

                                       I'm babysitting my cats

Got it

So what are your plans today?

                                       Tour of Hollywood

You've got to be kidding me

                                       I am actually. We're going to Disneyland

That's... even better...

                                       I know I know, but in some ways, Joon, as you probably know

                                       Park Chanyeol is kind of a little kid at heart

A little kid that you like

                                       We are going to Disneyland

You're both in your 30s

                                       So what?

So, do something memorable while you're there

Like kiss on the teacups

                                       I hear him moving around now. bye

Dear Jongin, 

Yes, I was here. Yixing and I spent the day wandering around pretending we had little lost nephews who were somewhere with their moms so that people wouldn't suspect that two men in their 30s actually went to Disneyland for fun. Park is nice. I rode on Splash Mountain and one particularly lame elephant ride so somewhere Yixing has nice blackmail material pictures to last a lifetime. He did not ride on the elephant. Something about dignity (and blackmail material). It was a good day. Going home in a couple days and all will be as it was.

Chanyeol

Dear Chanyeol,

You won't get this letter yet until you get home, but I thought it would be a fun surprise. I had a great couple weeks. Thank you for coming out this far. Emotional, gushy letter coming up in 3, 2, 1... you're the best friend I've ever had, long-distance or otherwise. Now please, whatever you do, trash this letter because I'm absolutely not giving you ammunition to torture me in the future because, "Aww, Yixing is sentimental after all!" By the way, my dimples are not cute, thank you very much. I can't wait until you're actually reading this letter because that'll mean you're gone and back in Seoul, and my face will be completely safe from you! 

We should do this again, you and I. Perhaps next time I will come and visit you, and you can do the honors of showing me around all the places that you've lived in. Where you went to school in elementary, where you graduated college, where you work, the house you used to live in, the parks you played in. I need inspiration for that novel I want to write, the one which someday I will finish. How am I supposed to do that when I never get out?

Okay, here's a confession for you: my house is too quiet haha. It's two in the morning. You're sound asleep upstairs, and it's just me and my writing desk, like old times. When were our first letters to each other? I was 10 and you were 10. Do you know, for years I kept all of your letters in a box for safekeeping. I may still have it. Who knows where it got shoved in all the rearranging this house has seen. First with my parents, then with Joon, then with Joon leaving and coming back. Did I ever thank you for helping me get through those years? In a way, without you as the mediator I probably wouldn't have been able to even stay friends with him. Because of you I have a wonderful best friend, and Joon and I are still close, as friends. Weird as it was, I'm glad he went and lived with you there. I just wish you had been here for longer than a couple weeks and maybe we could have gotten to know each other even better. Offer's still open of course. Me and my big, empty house. ;)

This letter's partially a goodbye. I know I'm going to completely fluster myself when I take you back to the airport today so, Thanks, Chanyeol. For everything. And keep in touch! I still expect nice juicy letters and e-mails and whatever else aps and stuff we can get. We're not too old to figure out technology, right?

Bye, and all the best!

Love, Yixing

Note to readers: this isn't over yet.