That night after I visited Jae-hyo hyung  I fell asleep immediately after I placed my “Lucky charm” on top of my side table and the envelope beside it. I don’t know if I was hallucinating or anything but I heard a voice whispering on my right ear.

“Yes, I would definitely break your bone and kick you in the .. and then I would throw you off the cliff for being such a jerk. But then I can never do that ‘cause right now I can’t.”

“who are you?” I thought, trying to voice it out

“you will soon find out..” said the voice as it slowly faded away.

I was woken up by a loud car horn outside my house, I rubbed my eyes “AISH! Who’s disturbing me this early!” I said and went straight outside my house.. there was Gongchan and Jinyoung Hyung ruining my sleep. “Annyeong Hyung!” Gongchan greeted.

“What are you guys doing here? it’s too early.” I said almost in complain while rubbing my eyes.

“we Just want to check up on you, you left immediately yesterday after we arrived at the airport.” Said Jinyoung Hyung “is there something wrong?”

“Uhh.. about that, I left because I thought of visiting Jae-hyo Hyung.” I explained “where are you guys going?” I said as I opened the back seat door of Jinyoung hyung’s car and saw some flowers, and wine.

 “We’re going to Cha-gi noona!” Gongchan exclaimed in excitement

“oh.” I said then shut the door.

“you wanna come?” Asked Jinyoung Hyung as he stuck his head out of the window of his car.

“Aniya..” I said waving my hands “I have something else to do today.. I’m practicing piano.” When in reality I was not doing anything for this day. I just thought that they won’t bother me anymore into coming with them if I have a good reason not to go.

“are you sure you don’t wanna go?” Jinyoung Hyung asked again

“Yeah. I’ll visit her when I find time.” I replied.

“Ok. So we’ll go then.” He said and then both guys waved me goodbye.

After they left I went to the kitchen to look for some food.  I opened the fridge and found nothing. I went to check the oven if Junhee heated some food for me, but unfortunately for my starving stomach there was none. “AISH!! I’m starving!!” I complained, so then I decided to cook anything that is in the fridge. Luckily there was a bag of popcorn. I took it and placed it inside the oven, pressed 1 minute and then waited for it to cook. The whole day I waited I sat on my sofa, watched TV, and flipping channels for like forever while munching my now gone popcorn! What a fruitful day! So when there was nothing else to do that afternoon, I went to my room and slumped my body on my bed. I rolled to the left side of my bed near the side table where I placed the pearl-like object and the small white envelope that Jaehyo Hyung gave to me yesterday. For a moment I stared at the two objects, I don’t know how long I was looking at it but when I got back to my senses I immediately straightened myself up, left my bed, then took my towel and went straight to my bathroom and squeakily took a bath. After taking a bath and putting on my clothes, I took the pearl and the white envelope as well as my car keys. A few minutes later I was already there, where she was laid to rest.

As I walk to her I saw the flowers and wine Jinyoung hyung and Gongchan gave her. The side of my lip formed a small smile “I forgot to bring her flowers.” And then there I was standing in front of her tomb stone that says A woman who is a leader and a protector. “Yah!” I said as I sat on the grass “you’re really cool. Remember when we went to an event where I had to model for a clothing line.. it’s true when I told you, you are beautiful, you were really beautiful.. I really miss you, you know that? I said as I looked at sky that is now turning to gray. I took the pearl and the small white envelope from my pocket, held the envelope on one hand and the pearl on the other. “look.” I said as I raise the white envelope “Is this for me?” I turned the envelope to read the back side of it “Lee Jung Hwan” I read “I haven’t read it actually, I still have no idea what you have in here for me.” I said as I smiled looking at her tombstone. “And this Pearl, I got this in Busan, beautiful right.. you know, every time I look at this, it reminds me of you so much.” I said as I rolled the pearl on my palm “Cha gi, if you can hear me right now. Mianhae.. mianhae.” the words just came out uncontrollably “I want to tell so many things but then, I ran out of time.. I wish I could turn back time.. not to change what had happened but just so you can be my world again.”  I said in between sobs “I feel silly crying in front of you right now.” then I stood up and brushed away the tears from my eyes “I think I should go now before it rain.. I will see you again Cha-gi.” I said before I left the place.

When I got home it was already dark and raining outside, the whole day I was watching TV there was no forcasted rain, so I just let it pass because I was really hungry. I never really had a good meal today. As usual the first thing that I do when I get home is to check the kitchen if there was any food.. but before that I went to my piano and place the pearl object and cha-gi’s letter on top of it. In my kitchen there was no food!! “NO FOOD FOR ME AGAIN!” I opened one of the cabinets and saw some noodles “I guess I’d hae to stick with my stock noodles tonight.. aigoo.” I boiled some water then pour it in to the cup of noodles. It was good but was not as satisfying as cooked meals.

After finishing my food, I went to my piano, where I placed the pearl and the envelope, I pulled the chair under my piano and sat on it.. on the right side of my piano is a window where I can see the droplets of rain water outside... “Aigoo.. even just watching the rain makes me feel so lonely.” My house was really quiet tonight and the only thing that I can hear is the pouring rain pouring angrily on the roof. I placed my fingers on the piano keys and played our song Only One as the rain outside was pouring. The rhythmic sound of the piano and the rain sounds so good together.. suddenly Cha-gi’s memory came rushing into me again. I remember the first time I saw her, while looking at her eyebrows crossing while she was debating with the little girl that morning, the first thing that came into my mind was “she’s beautiful” I smirked when I remember her reaction when I kissed her, honestly it was an accident ,I just wanna know if she was real and so I kissed her but then the next thing I knew was I was lying on the grown feeling like I broke a bone while she was standing so cool beside me, glaring at me like I was a maniac. I remember the last time that I looked into her eyes.. “aish... even playing piano reminds me of her.” And so stopped playing my piano and  took the envelope.. and felt like wanting to read and find out what was inside. I tear the envelope and took what was inside, it was pieces of papers, like a letter.. then I read it...

July 2010

Exercise tips for Mr. Lee Jung Hwan

                Mr. Lee Jung Hwan, I know how proud you are with your body but I don’t find it really appealing. During the first day of my job as your bodyguard, I saw you in your house having no shirt. And I was like are you really letting all of your fans see that kept fats of yours, you said it was the result of your months of hard work and exercise. I say it was a month of eating chips and having a lazy . Even goons will laugh at you with that.  If you were really that strong as you think why is it that I was able to take you down at one strike?

I stood up and walked to my sofa.. As I read her letter I started to laugh at the same time cry.. she’s really good at making people look down on themselves. The letter goes on with..

Anyway, I made you few exercise strategies that will definitely work on the type of your body. I don’t think strength work out is good for you, you know those workouts with the help of machines although it is really good in shaping your muscles but without proper diet, like diet of yours, I don’t think you can maintain your body. What I think is that an exercise with good pacing is much better for you, you don’t really have to get yourself fatigued while doing an exercise, an exercise with a good pacing can also help you with your stamina.  You need more stamina for your performances right? Because you dance and sing at the same time.. jogging is good, listen to music when you do it and don’t just stare at me ok? Focus. Another thing, maintain a balance diet will you? don’t just eat food that you bought from the vending machine, cook food for yourself. Always remember that you have to hydrate, drink water.. your body needs it. Plus, the most important thing, take a rest, you’re really a hard working guy, I know that, I can see the passion in your eyes when you were singing on stage but you still have to rest your body, don’t abuse it.

Here are my list of tips, I hope these could help you:

1. before jogging bring a towel. It’s important that you have something to dry up your sweat.

2 . jog in the morning for 30 mins. – 1hr. Don’t over do it..

3. after jogging, don’t just sit, do 15 or more push ups or sit ups.. it can help you firm the muscles on your arms and stomach.

4. prepare meals for yourself, if you really want to be muscular, eat meat.

5. Drink water always to hydrate your body.

6. exercise your facial muscles. Smile J it’s important that you don’t just exercise the muscles on your body. Smiling can make you look younger anyway.

Take it from the expert Sandeul,

Cha-gi

“Cha-gi-yah..” I called to her as I sat on my sofa.. then tears starts to cover my eyes. “why you never gave this to me before?” then sudden gust of wind blew “why do I feel like you’re always there still watching me.. sometimes I would feel like you’re not really gone that’s why I never had the guts to say that I have finally let you go.” I laid my head on the backrest of the sofa as I reminisce the days I was with her still holding her letter with my hands causing it to crumple “I feel like I’m abusing the only thing that you left me.. I’m sorry if I get too sentimental every time I think of you..” I said as I rub my eyes, or should I say her eyes “every time I look at the mirror, It’s not me that I see.. It’ you.” still sitting in my couch I lowered my head as I clasped my hands together “Cha-gi—yah.. help me, I can’t do this alone.” I laid myself on the sofa as I stared at the ceiling.. “Cha-gi.. I know you can hear me.. I always thought that my dream was becoming the best singer in South Korea and become an international star.. but when I saw you that day. I realized that you have become my dream..” I said as my eyes felt sleepy and closed uncontrollably as if it has a mind of its own. But before I was succumbed by the sleepy sensation, bright lights started to appear from the direction of my piano.

When I woke up I opened my eyes and I was already in my bedroom. I sat for a long time on my bed deep in thought of what had happened last night.. the last thing I remember was I fell asleep on the sofa and there was this light.. “Was I sleep walking?!” I said as I scratch my head “oh well at least I ended up on my bed” I stood up then walked to my kitchen, opened the fridge and saw some food worth eating.. I was really hungry but then I remember one of Cha-gi’s tips for me to be healthy “I must cook my own food. I can do this! AJA!” I cooked egg and bacon then ate a banana.. “I think that’s not bad for my first day.. Aigoo! I’ m still hungry.” I said as I rub my stomach. I went to my living room turned my head to my piano and remembered that I placed the pearl on top of it just before I fell asleep last night. “AIGOO! Where is it!” I went to check if it rolled down the floor “aish!” I exclaimed as I scratch my head while kneeling on the floor, I stood up still trying to remember if I held it last night.. but then suddenly I heard a voice outside my house seems like there was someone who has gone into a fight.. “I’ll look for it later, I’d better first check what’s going on outside.”

I went outside my house and noticed that the day was almost perfect even by just looking at the clear sky.. it was definitely a great day. And when I looked to the direction of the people whom I suspected to be fighting... What I saw almost kicked my heart out of my chest. I stood there still, thinking if it was a dream..

“You shouldn’t scare us like that” the girl said

 “I’m not scaring you. I’m telling the truth. You wanna try? I have my car right there. I’ll hit you with it. Then, let’s see if you won’t have your bones broken, your eyes popping, and your brain exploding.” She said, then the kids started to run away.

I stood there looking at her, inspecting every inch that I can just so I can prove to myself that she’s real. She’s really here right now.. just meters away from me standing just like the first time I saw her. Cha-gi. I walked slowly towards her as she stared blankly on me.. I don’t care if I look stupid right now but I’m going to make it right this time. I’m not letting this chance again pass on me.. I walk to her and gave her the sweetest smile I can give, as I laid my arms for a hand shake.

“Annyeong! I’m Lee Jung Hwan.” I said holding the tears as I saythe words and controlling myself not to hug her this time.

“Annyeong, I’m Cha-gi.” She replied and then as our hands touched I realized that it was not a dream, it all happened.. and whatever magic brought her back to me, I swore to myself that I am never going to let go of her this time.