Chapter 4

My Heart

It's night time already and this little angel of mine had just dozed off to his dreamland. It took him quite awhile just to set his eyes off to rest and call it a night. He looked so serene like this. It was hard to actually get some quiet moments now that he is growing and getting more active by the day; seeing him like this just made me realize how much he had grown. The steady and deep breathing that he was in assured me he had most definitely entered dreamland and i should leave the comfort of his bedroom before he woke up again with an even more componded energy. As much as i love my Baby Timothy, the energy that he had in him made it hard for me to catch on - just to make things clear. 

I kissed his forehead before i stood up from my previous, laying down, position and was about to reach for the switch to the night light when suddenly i heard Timothy's voice. 'Oh, no!' I said in my head, 'He's awake?!' I quickly bend to check up on him and was only to realize that he's sleeptalking. I smiled at how adoring my Baby Timothy was, sleeptalking; just like Seunghyun oppa when he's totally exhausted. 

I whispered softly, "Timothy-yah, you sure are Choi Seunghyun's son! Sleeptalking runs in the family, huh?" Ending with a chuckle. But all of that vanished and dissapeared from my face when Timothy's spured mumbling became more audioable and clear. My heart broke when i figured out what he said under all the exhaustion of the whole day's worth. It's just one sentence but it brought several meaning for me as a mother of an innocent and naive little baby boy. A baby boy that is just 3 years old. 

"Daddy, bo-go-ship....po-yo.." 

At the sound of it, my body just came to a stand still. My back that was bending down and was about to shoot up after a chuckled was released, didn't managed to move at all. My heart just scattered and i swear at that moment, i felt like an empty antic glassware, ready to break anytime when i heard those words coming out from my own son's mouth. He misses his dad. He misses Seunghyun oppa. He misses someone whom he had never met; only to have known from the stories that Siwon oppa, Ommunim, Sooyoung and I had told him about. He had only got to know about his late father in the pictures and portraits that were hung and framed all over at every corners of the house. Things would not have turned out to be this way and those words would not have been said out and should only be let out if Seunghyun oppa is having business trip and had been away from home for days... But all of that is just a mere ideal imagination of mine. Seunghyun oppa can never be away because of business trips and our son can never say, 'i miss you, daddy' and we could never chat over the phone in the middle of the night just to let him hear his father's voice. And its all because of me. I was careless. I was a fool. If i was careful enough, he wouldn't have to save me. He would be still be here and his life will not be lost just like that. My husband, Timothy's dad would still have been alive. 

I got back to my senses as i could feel my eyes began to well up in tears. I quickly got to my feet as these tears threatened to fall after kissing his cheeks and his short fluffy straight hair. I took a deep breath and reached out for the night light's switch and turned it off before slowly walking myself out of Timothy's room. I walked to my bedroom and washed my face. I try my hardest to just ignore the pain that i've been feeling. From the events earlier today, Sam-shi who looked like Seunghyun oppa to our baby who misses his dad. I don't know what's worst, feeling sorry and guilty because i'm the reason why Seunghyun oppa let out his last his last breath even before he had a chance to catch a glimpse of Timothy in this world and Timothy who had never ever experience being held in his own daddy's embrace or just missing Seunghyun oppa so much that i think my heart skip a beat whenever my eyes laid its view on Sam-shi. Sam-shi had a splitting image of Seunghyun oppa that some moments during the meeting earlier made me forgot about who he actually is -- and who i was. I felt as if i was cheating my love for Seunghyun oppa because i was sure my heart just felt realive by the appearance of Sam-shi in office early today. I felt light. My heart felt light. 

I went to my bed and decided to call it a day and try to let the pain die off on its own into numbness. 

-The next day-

It was hectic for a normal weekday like this. My days starts early as i got myself ready, made breakfast and set Timothy up for his day in the centre and head off to the office. It has always been the same routine all the time but the only difference was today i decided to head down to Starbucks before i start my day glued to my office space and start to doodle and going for meeting one after another and pick Timothy up to fetch him to the Choi's mansion. 

"One iced Caremel Macchiato, please!" i said as i placed the orders. When i got it in hand, i quickly stepped on it and head straight for the office. Not realizing where i was heading to after stepping into the entrance, i accidentally bumped onto the person who was walking in front of me as i slipped on the wet floor on my heels. Due to the bump, the Caramel Macchiato that was in my grasp and the straw that was in my mouth as i was slurping it enjoyingly, splash onto both my attire and the other party's back. It happened so fast and it left me in such a shock that my mouth was left ajar; even after the person whose back was left soaking wet turned to face me. 

Sound of water splashing and people gasping in horror filled the whole lobby. I was becoming as seconds passed when i realized that everyone who were in the vicinity stopped on their tracks and stared at as.

"I-I'm s-sorry!" I said apologetically as i was tring to rummage my bag for some tissue or a handkerchief. I looked up to the person who was locking his gaze on me and pulling his wet coat off his shoulders. He fished out a familiar looking handkerchief and said, "Looking for this?"

"I -ah..."

Before i knew it, i squint my eyes trying to remember how my handkerchief could end up being in the hands of the man in front of me. Then, it a spank of memories came to me. Its the same guy that i had bumped into yesterday while i was rushing. No wonder, it felt like a it had happened before!

 

I got off and ran for the lift. Being as clumsy as i was and still am, i bumped onto someone and had caused the coffee that he was holding on in his hands to spill onto his shirt.

"I'm so sorry." I said apologetically. I looked up from my view and there stood a man in an all navy blue suit with a black collar shirt underneath while wearing a black sunglasses. He was taller than me and had his hair in an up do. Well, he just smile and said, "Gwenchanna..."

I was about to pass him my handkerchief when Seohyun called for me from the lobby, "Unnie!" My attention was diverted to Seohyun and my head turned back to the gentleman who stood in front of me. I could tell he was a tiny be taken aback from my disoriented action. I grabbed one of his free hand and place my handkerchief to his grasp. I looked up and said, "I am truly sorry." I did my final bow and turned my heel; running for the lift. 

 

"...yes! I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-" smiling a little as flashes of what had happened day before played before my eyes.

"You know, if you want to ask me out you can just go ahead and ask me straight. You don't have to use this ridiculous method to get my attention." He began to rant, interrupting my explaination. Hearing those words coming out from his mouth is somehow started to raise my hackles as time passed. Who the hell does he think he was saying words like that making me sound like some attention seeking woman who goes around shoving coffee onto other people's shirt just to get a man's numbers or a date?! I'm not that desperate and i don't ever think i could ever move on or start a new life with someone else after Seunghyun oppa leaving our small family behind because of me. Trying to move on while this feeling is in my chest did not get easier on the daily, what more to fulfill my promise of moving on like he wanted me to. 

"Excuse me?" I snapped, clearly the apologetic and sincere tone drown off to become a more firm and annoyed tone. 

"Yeah, you heard me. Yesterday, we bumped into each other and i spilt my whole cup of coffee onto my shirt and now this?" he gestured to his coat. 

"Wo-ah, Mr. If i've not remember clearly, it was an accident. I was rushing yesterday because there was an important client waiting for me in the office and today, it's because of the wet floor," i pointed to the wet floor sign just a few feet behind him before i continued, "I guess you're the unlucky one who always get in my way of walking," I couldn't help but to end up with a smirk.

"Well, firstly, it's Mr Lee to you and secondly, whatever your excuses are i don't have much time to spare and listen. Here is my number, you can call in anytime if you ever want to ask me on a date to save some water splashing event in the future and some of my work attire as well. Thank you." He reached out for a pen in his pocket and scribbled out his phone number onto my precious handkerchief that was in his hands and put it onto my palms. With that he walked away with a straight face. At that moment, my hand was balled into a fist as anger started to take over me. 

I was trying to keep my cool but I don't know what happened or what got into me. It was as if i was a living volcano, ready to erupt anytime. Before i knew it, "MR LEE!" 

He turned again to face me when he heard my voice called out for him and this time, with the little left over Caremel Macchiato in the cup thats in my palm, i poured it on top of his magnificiently styled hair. Then, i continued, "This is for making my precious handkerchief filled with your scribbles. Do you know what this handkerchief means to me? Its the first time i ever let anyone had a grasp of it to clean off coffee from their own attire. It mean the whole world to me and you just destroyed it with these!" I took a deep breath before deciding to walk closer to him and this time i raised my knee, intending to stomped onto his feet which i did, leaving many more people in disbelief and him crouching to clutch his left which was in pain. "And this is for thinking that i'm really desperate for your attention. I don't need anymore distraction and I, amongst all, i don't need you. I am still a woman with dignity and pride. I'm sorry to ruin your hopes that was sky high. Maybe there are other woman out there that are falling head over heels for you but this lady right here,..." I point to myself and continued, "... She has better tastes. I'm pretty sure she won't fall for a person who thinks that too highly of himself to even become a woman magnet. Yes, you have the looks and you are indeed handsome and goodlooking but if your attitude and personality doesn't reflect any of that as a credibility. Mr Lee,.." I paused for a moment as i noticed the changed in his facial expression. I clicked my tongue before i decided to continue, "-... our scored points for being goodlooking means nothing to me. So, never and let me REPEAT never think of me wanting to get close to you because i really don't!" I blared to his face in a stern tone. Ending my long speech i walked off from the scene; strotting in my heels and into the lift as the lift door had just opened for me to enter leaving him dumbfounded. 

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Author's note;

Finally, Haefany moment with conversation! HEHE. Leave me a comment on what you think about this one in the box below.I'd be honoured to read them. So, here you go.Thanks for reading and subscribing! Sorry for the flaws as well. Will be back for more. Have a great day and god bless!

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Comments

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dadecer101 #1
Chapter 17: So sad no more TOPFany :(
seamusmommy #2
Chapter 17: Awww!!! This is sooo cute!!! But who is Donghae's Hyung to Tiffany? A little confused and just realized when the whole Sam thing gets revealed it's going to hurt to people who are finally recovering from pain and sorrow. *Sighs* talk about complicated.
seamusmommy #3
Chapter 12: Ok are Sam and Seunghyun the same person or not? I'm starting to get myself confused. But I'm sure that's what you want.
seamusmommy #4
Chapter 10: Hmmm, curiouser and curiouser.
dadecer101 #5
Chapter 16: update soon
Sone_snsd_9 #6
Chapter 13: your story is cool ms/mr author :)
But i dont like haefany things, topfany is better i think :)
Make this topfany story happy ending please :)
Put jessica for donghae in this story, they were SM CUTE COUPLE Thank you
Sone_snsd_9 #7
Chapter 13: your story is cool ms/mr author :)
But i dont like haefany things, topfany is better i think :)
Make this topfany story happy ending please :)
Put jessica for donghae in this story, they were SM CUTE COUPLE Thank you
adahgogo7 #8
Chapter 12: i think i already know how the whole story will be ploted. Sam is Seunghyun, am I right? Mrs. Choi who is siwon,seunghyun and kyuhyun's mother is aware of t.o.p existence. For sure, Seunghyun is Sam who is trying to gain back his memories, and but i do think that Tiffany will ended up with DongHae. Btw, i really enjoy your story author-nim.
HwangMinJi #9
Chapter 11: Nooooooooo..... topfany is!!!! :(((( but sam isnt seunghyun..
TwistedIceQueen #10
Chapter 10: enjoying this so far despite the updates far and few in between. a few questions though which I hope will be answered within the next few updates...is seunghyun really dead? who the hell is sam? what does donghae have to do with this story aside from him being a menace on the road?