"Yeah, that's it; but sunshine, you're lighting up the room today. What's wrong?" 

"Nothing, I'll be taking my leave now." 

With the slam of the door, Jaejoong winced visibly, then sighed. 

"Yeah, good work to you too." 

This had been the exactly 47th time Yeojin had given him the cold shoulder and damn, she was such an iceberg when she wanted to be! He had probably already lost count how many times he had tried to get the air lighter and been shut right down by her icy stare. Even if he managed not to lose the will and zeal, she would just silently leave the room and lock her door. Kind of reminded him of someone but he couldn't make out who... though he had definitely realised one thing: trying to be friendly with someone who didn't give a damn was a real tough job. He remembered Yeojin had kept this up for more than a month and just after two weeks, he was about to give up already. 

"No no no, I can't!" he talked to himself. Just thinking about giving up was a no-no. Well he did think that he was being nice enough so it was alright if she wanted t be left alone; but he felt really frustrated with how it was. Being ignored so suddenly like this when he was being nice, also knowing he had made someone like her cry before this happened... it wasn't always that Kim Jaejoong felt guilty for something, after all. He felt like he just couldn't give up until he made it better. It just wasn't going really well. 

He jumped with his phone ringing. He quickly answered when he saw it was his best friend - somehow this idiot always knew when Jaejoong needed to talk.

"Say you have something good to tell me or I might just decide to go into depression." he said, plopping down onto his office seat.

"Oh, someone sounds quite desperate. Having a hard time there?" 

"You bet. So? Why did you call?" 

"I was just wondering if you're still the same head you were two weeks ago." Jaejoong clicked his tongue at his friend's snarky comment. 

"Why do you think I'm about to go into depression? I was actually trying to be nice and it kinda just blew in my face. She's like a true iceberg." he complained.

"Well, isn't that what you wanted? Why does it bother you now?" 

"Ehm, well, I didn't tell you about what happened afterwards, did I? I might have just forgotten to mention a few tiny unimportant details..." 

"Oh sweet Jesus, spit it out now!" Jaejoong sighed and started nervously telling his friend about everything, expecting a scream in the end. He wasn't disappointed.

"You, Kim Jaejoong, I, like, seriously have nothing to say to you anymore! Don't you dare call me again until you make it up to her, do you hear me?!"

"N-no wait, who will I talk to about this, then?!"

"I don't know, your precious solitude? Figure it out yourself, dammit!"

"Come on, I need help with this here!" 

"I ain't helping. Figure it out on your own. You hear me? You're on your own here, even I have nothing to do with the way things are! And oh, I had called you to tell you I actually proposed and was accepted so expect a wedding soon; but I'm not inviting you unless you make up with her, you got me? You got me?!"

"Hey can I at least ask for advice sometimes? Pretty please?" Jaejoong grumbled.

"Will think on it later; but for now, I'll be hanging up." 

"Argh, yeah; why is everyone like this today?!" Jaejoong finally burst out in frustration after his friend hung up. Nothing was going the way he wanted and he just wanted to kick and punch something and scream right now. It could be the first time he had actually felt this way and it was so annoying that he missed his usual frozen life. Why was this happening now?!

"What?!" he answered the phone when it rang again, thinking it was his friend calling again.

"Is this how you speak to your father lately?"

"Oh, sorry, I just... nevermind, I didn't think it was you, father." Jaejoong suddenly changed the way he sat at his seat. The voice of this man had this effect on him: always bringing him back to his icy state. Somehow, today he was actually grateful for this call.

"You must be quite stressed out, son. I am assuming you are free tomorrow." 

"Yes, father; did you want something?"

"Well, me and Yeojin's father will be visiting you tomorrow so I was going to tell you to be careful. You know, Mr Kim doesn't know about you and her. He believes you and her are doing great and he better keep being that way so he doesn't break this marriage. You know what I mean, right?"

"Of course, this is what we've been doing all the time anyways." Jaejoong nodded. 

"Good, I'll trust you on that one. We'll be drinking so you'll really need to be extra careful with everything."

"I can handle my alcohol, father, no need to worry. Nothing will happen. If he sees anything bad, we'll tell him that it's a little fight between couples and I made it up to Yeojin... or something like that. Her father isn't the kind to poke his nose into someone else's relationship." he couldn't help saying that. His father also knew that he had said that on purpose to point out his father always poked his nose into his life; but it was completely ignored nonetheless.

"Thankfully he is, yes. You tell your wife and be ready. Also, there will be a talk about you two having a kid; brace yourself. Got that?"

"Yeah, will do." Jaejoong said, wrying his face. He hated just the mention of that subject. 

"Good. Get ready, then." his father said, ignoring the bothered tone in Jaejoong's voice, and hung up. Jaejoong sighed and looked into his screen with blank eyes. There was nothing left from his determination, frustration or guilt. All his feelings were right away again, like every single time he spoke to his father. At times like this he felt like living was simply an obligation and nothing more. The world was a blackhole again. He needed to see Yeojin... to tell her the news, of course; not like he wanted to see her. He just had to. Of course. 

Ahh, who was he kidding, the girl had made this world a more interesting place since she had walked into his life. He never knew what to expect of her, never knew what would happen next and she had even made him want to laugh at times. She had reminded him of stuff he had long forgotten ever since his mother had left, leving him to the mercy of his father. Now she was basically his escape, even when she was being a walking iceberg. He wanted to make her go back to the way she was before he had went too far that night. It was hard to admit for the Kim Jaejoong, the crown prince of his family, the perfect successor, the man who never needed anyone. Still, he just couldn't simply ignore it this time. 

When he went to the office she worked at, he found out that she had a meeting and didn't want to be disturbed at any reason. He sighed and gave in, going back to his office. That only meant he had to see her at home. He didn't know when she would decide to come back; but maybe he could leave the work early and make something nice for her... if she'd appreciate this time at least. Well he had to try. He wanted to fix his mistake and his life. Everyone was right; he didn't have to be miserable just because this was forced on him. She was right too; he didn't have to deny even friendship with her. He was a fool, he had always been. It was only when it was too late that he realised and he regretted that. 

He soon took his stuff from his room and left the office. He knew that word would go to his father; but this time, he officially didn't care. He went to the house and took off his suit, wore something more comfortable and fetched Yeojin's apron from the kitchen door, then he got to work. She usually came home after she ate so whatever he cooked, she would just pass; Jaejoong had learned that by now. She was usually on a loose diet to keep fit so she wasn't that fond of desserts either. She didn't like to drink coffee or tea in the evenings because they made her lose sleep; but just giving her soda wouldn't do either. Still, Jaejoong thought, no one could say no to a light vanilla custard with cherry sauce on top... right? At least he hoped so. 

It took him a while to find out how to do it. There were times he wished he still had a person he could call mom, it would come in handy at times like this, like, calling her to ask for a recipe; but he had to take care of it himself. He found a reliable recipe and tried to make it, only to fail three times before he got it right. The cherry sauce fortunately was kind of easier. The kitchen was quite a mess by the time he was finished with the dessert, decorating and preparing the fancy serving plates. He looked at the mess he made and sighed. She wasn't coming anytime soon it seemed, it wasn't like he had anything better to do. He was letting work be for today, after all. So he got to cleaning. 

Only after he was done with cleaning, changing back into jeans to look at least more presentable and got tired of waiting and slumped onto the couch that she arrived. She didn't even bother to inform him of her arrival and just went straight to the kitchen for a glass of water. He had expected that, for that was the treatment he had been getting for the last weeks. He got up from the couch nevertheless and went to the kitchen himself.

"Welcome home." he said warmly, with a smile. She turned to look at him and her single brow raised. She slowly put the glass down and pointed at him.

"What's that for?" 

"What's what for?" he said, confused and looked at himself. His brows raised in realisation when he saw the casual e shirt he wore had more than a few buttons open. "Ahh, that- this is an old shirt, buttons tend to pop open when I stretch."

"I see." she said simply and looked away again. He was disappointed actually; even though he hadn't mean to show that much skin, well, there was not a single girl to just casually look away after seeing that sight yet she didn't even have the slightest of blush. He took a breath and tried not to let this put his mood down. 

"You must be tired, wanna have some dessert?" he asked hopefully with a smile.

"No, I'm trying to keep my body fit." she shut him down flat.

"Well it's light and you look like you could use a break from that no-sugar diet of yours. Aren't you on your period?" he retorted. If being subtle and nice didn't work, it was already time to get bold, it seemed... and this had certainly pulled some reaction out of her. 

"Wha- hey, are you spying on me? That's not nice!" she turned to him, sounding annoyed. He had a feeling it wasn't just annoyance. He shrugged. 

"It isn't hard to guess by how fast the toilet paper runs out." he said. 

"I didn't know you had an obsession with them." she said grumpily, he tried to hide his triumphant smirk and opened the fridge. He pulled out the dessert and showed it off like a masterpiece - well it did look pretty with the coconut sprinkles on it and fresh mint leaves right in the middle. 

"You sure you don't want? Low on sugar, just the right amount of sweet and sour and I'm sure it won't leave you guilty for having it." he presented his work. One needed to know about how to advertise in the business they were in. She was eyeing the thing like she was looking at a sin. 

"I-I guess it won't hurt to have a little." she said in the end, with a sigh. Jaejoong had to suppress the urge to throw the dessert up in the air and do a victory dance. It was too early and also all the dessert would go to waste. 

"Why don't you go change? I'll prepare you a plate." he smiled at her. 

"Yeah, yeah..." she sighed and left the kitchen. That was quite hurtful, he thought, that she could still be so cold after accepting his offer in the end. He had been like this towards her all year? It actually hurt him to think he had been such a jerk for so long. He could somehow understand what his friend meant now. He sighed and prepared two plates, though. Yeojin came back in soon, with her blue checkered spaghetti strap and shorts pajamas on. Already in pajamas? It wasn't even that late.

"There you go." he said anyways, placing the plate in front of her. She muttered a quiet thanks and started eating quietly. From the way her face brightened, he assumed that it tasted good.

"Do you like it?" he asked eagerly.

"Yeah, it's good." she nodded simply, without looking at him. He smiled and took a bite himself.

"Just like I remember." he mused and smiled, "My mother used to make this, it's been ages since I last had some." 

She remained silent, just like he would have been if it was her speaking, two months ago. He didn't give up anyways. 

"It's been ages since I last even saw my mother, actually. You'd think I'd miss her and go to visit her; but I just didn't. I had too much of a pride in me to do that. Hey you did know that my mother isn't with us anymore, right?"

"You never talked about yourself, remember?" she said snarkily. Right in the bulls eye, he thought; he felt the words hit just the place she probably wanted them to. He suppressed the urge to actually hiss. 

"Y-yeah, I didn't... I rarely ever do. It's no wonder I have almost no friends. I thought you'd guess, though, you never saw my mother did you?" he said. She shrugged.

"That's true; but I thought you didn't wanna talk about it, so I left it alone." her stare on him was so sharp that it almost pierced through him. It gave him cold chills down his spine, but he looked away and took another bite of his dessert.

"It's not a nice memory, remembering how your parents scream throw things at each other..." he mused with a slight bitter smile. 

"I see." Yeojin said and took another spoonful of her dessert. He stayed silent for short; but when she said nothing more, he decided to continue. At least she was listening instead of taking her plate and locking herself in her room. 

"I was really young that time, when one night I woke up to my parents' screaming. I didn't even understand what they were fighting about; but soon, my mother suddenly grabbed a trinket from the table and threw it to the floor. It broke to pieces. Then she started throwing pillows at my father. Next thing I knew, father was walking atop my mother and mother was walking away. Then she started throwing other things at father. In the end, she screamed she can't take it anymore and just left the house. When my father noticed that I was up, he told me that everything would be fine... which was a whooper. Nothing was ever fine again. My parents never spoke to each other for a while; then one night, mother woke me up. She gave me a box and said I needed to give that to my father next morning. I didn't know why but she said it was a surprise and put me back to sleep. That was the last time I saw her." 

He noticed he had been stabbing the dessert with his fork when Yeojin put her spoon down. She was silent as he had been when he was listening to her story. He forced a smile and sighed, lost in past feelings, and continued speaking somehow grateful for the silence his listener provided. 

"In the morning I gave the box to my father. There was a letter and a ring inside. He never told me what wrote on that paper; but he did tell me to forget about my mother because she left us. I didn't believe him, didn't obey so easily; but all the nights I cried my eyes off, my mother never came to cuddle and soothe me. Whenever I asked, he kept telling me to forget about that woman who betrayed us. I had no choice but to believe father in time; mother had betrayed us and left us, I believed in the end and hated her because she left me alone with my father. Father is a stern man, he always was and it got even worse when mother left. I was angry she left me to the mercy of a man like that, that she didn't even think about taking me with her, that she never came back for me."

Jaejoong paused again. His childhood hadn't exactly been a bed of roses like a crown prince would have it. Though it hadn't been a living hell either, hatred never did good to make you happy. He had only a few friends and he never trusted girls. In fact he had always bullied the girls that tried to approach him. He had chosen to stay alone; because he was different from them all. He was the crown prince and the abandoned child at the same time. He had the duty of taking on his father's legacy. Nobody could be trusted, no woman was good enough, even if it was about his... adolescence needs, his father thought one night stands would be more appropriate for love was nothing but a façade women put on to trick men; females were attracted to wealth and power, nothing more. What was important was what would remain; like the company his father would entrust him... he took a breath and continued in a normal voice.

"Later, I learned that father and mother had a lot of fights even though they had a love marriage, apparently because father worked too much. Mother said that he wasn't the same and she couldn't stand it anymore. In the end, mother cheated on father and ran off with another man. The man was a usual worker at our company, father did fire him and they moved out of this city; but mother never tried to get in touch with us again. Ever since then, it's me and father alone." he concluded, looking up to her. It wouldn't surprise him to find her looking away uninterested; but she was staring right into his eyes, almost challengingly. He blinked in surprise, unable to find a word to speak. 

"For some reason, I can relate." she said emotionlessly.

"You can..?" he asked. She was saying she understood him? Did this mean truce?

"Yeah, to your mother, I mean." she said. His blood froze in his veins, she continued nevertheless. "No woman would marry out of love and live loveless. If you're a little copy of your father, there's no wonder why she even left, though the one wrong she did was to leave you behind. Thanks for the food." 

He could only stand frozen as she picked her plate, put it in the sink and left to her room. 

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please comment, i really wonder what you think about this, thank you <3