"No, you don't get it; I really hate her!" 

She froze in front of the door with the tray in her hands. She didn't mean to eavesdrop; but she didn't feel like it was time to just cut his talk either. She had never heard Jaejoong speak so emotionally. There were literally emotions other than exasperation or annoyance in his voice. His words sounded sincere. She just stayed where she were. 

"Nooo, that's absolutely not it!.. okay, maybe a little; but she's not helping in the slightest. She just disgusts me, the way she takes it so easily... does she think it's that easy for me?" 

Yeojin's brows furrowed as she leaned in to hear more. Who was he talking about? She did have an idea but she didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet. 

"No, she's, like, acting all sweet and cutesy and friendly with me, she doesn't leave me be; she teases and annoys me out of my mind, then the next second she's off telling me her secrets... she basically started living a true marriage life with me without my consent!"

So she was right. She felt like a stake was just droven through her heart. So this was the reward of her tries of being friendly with him. She had been trying to be nice to him for this whole month now ever since she had told him what happened with her mom and she thought that he was starting to actually get used to her lately. She chatted with him even though it was quite one-sided, she made breakfasts or dinners for him, she made coffee for him whenever he would work until late even though she was busy as well, she tried her best to cheer him up if he seemed down, she playfully at times to get closer... and yet, it all only made him hate her, so that was all there was to it. He really hated her this much and she was stuck in a marriage she could expect nothing of. She bit her lip and forced herself to keep listening. 

"No- no, look, I'm telling you... gosh, I'm not overreacting! Is it too much to ask to be left alone when I freaking told her I absolutely did not want this and won't be doing anything that marriage requires? It was so great at first, I barely even saw her except when I had to act... yeah, something about a dead brother-... no I can say whatever the I want about it and he was better off dead, at least he wasn't raised in a golden cage like I was! It maybe would have been better if I was never born, too!" 

Yeojin clenched her jaw tight. Now that was a really immature and stupid thing to say, no matter how his life was. Taking life so lightly... she just wanted to punch him back to reality; but no, not this time. She had been trying so hard for him for this long and he hated her; she wouldn't be insulting herself any further. 

"Ugh, you know I don't mean it that way, it's just..." she heard Jaejoong sigh, "I don't like this, alright? It's not like I'm gonna go all "let's kill ourselvesess with fire, preciouss" now, I was only complaining with that. But the fact that I hate this is true." 

Well, at least he wasn't as retarded as she thought he was. She took a calming breath and placed the tray down in front of his door. 

"Well, how she takes it so easily. She acts like it wasn't forced at all and that everything's great and the world is full of roses and what we act out is actually true, how can she take it so lightly? It's disgusting!... well, if it was that way, wouldn't she tell me that night?.. oh shy, my , you should hear the stuff she says and does now! And come on, she's married to a man that she barely even knows after a whole year, her father would definitely save her if she said she wanted it to stop yet she doesn't even try to run. If I had such an opportunity I would definitely take it; her father tells her to find love and she doesn't even look for it, she just sits in a cage she's free to leave that's just so... disgusting. So low. How can she do it? I hate it all."

She couldn't bear to hear more. She just walked her way back to her room, not caring to be silent anymore. It was hard to believe just a few minutes ago she was so eagrly tiptoeing towards his room with a vanilla cappucino and homemade waffles with a lot of sauce and fruits she'd did her best to make. It was even harder to believe that this was the man she had been trying so hard to at least be friends with. She regretted all the time she had wasted thinking he was just a hurt soul on the inside and needed to open up and everything would be okay. He wasn't even hurt, all he ever did was hate her. Apparently this wasn't going to change no matter what she did. 

She just let herself fall onto her bed with a soft poof sound and sighed deeply. She felt drained and frustrated at the same time. She pulled herself onto the bed and rolled around there a little then sat up. She grabbed a pillow and shot death glares at it, then punched it.

"Stupid!" 

The pillow stayed unresponsive. She growled, then yelled and threw the pillow on the bedhead.

"Stupid freaking bald ibis!!" she huffed; but after short, reached for the pillow again. She started giving it small punches with every word as if it really was Jaejoong she was punching. 

"İdiot. Retard. Brainless jerk. Your pride is so stuck up your that I can't even see how deep it's gone in. Low, huh? I am low? And disgusting? And you hate me? Who do you think you are?" she shook the pillow hard, "Huh? Who do you think you are?!"

She threw the pillow down and groaned. "Now I am talking to pillows, how crazy have I gone, goodness..." 

She sighed and plopped down on the bed again. She could already feel the frustration welling up in her eyes in the form of wet, unnecessary substance she hadn't been acquainted with since she stopped crying for her mother and she hated simply the fact that she were shedding those droplets for a person like Jaejoong. She buried her face in the pillow she had been beating.

"What did I do to deserve this..."

***

"Her father tells her to find love and she doesn't even look for it, she just sits in a cage she's free to leave that's just so... disgusting. So low. How can she do it? I hate it all." 

"You call her low but how are you any better than she is?"

"Are you seriously-"

"She's at least trying, all you ever do is ignore all the attempts at being friends with you. She wasn't forced into this, why do you think she agreed in the first place? Of course she had to have liked you at least a little back then! You're so stuck up in your own drama that you can't raise your head to see what's closest to you. Your mother was the greatest source of your pain, true and now you're the greatest source of that girl's pain. Do you really want to hurt her that much? Huh?"

"Oh can you just-"

"No I won't, because you're retarded! You ing son of a constipated hippopotam, she didn't marry you expecting a life like this. She didn't expect to be turned down so hard. She doesn't leave because she hasn't given up, don't you see it? Nothing she has done is disgusting or awful, you're the only one who acts like a freaking Adam of jerks and let me tell you, I'm not even kidding here."

"How did I become a jerk here when I openly told her that I don't love her and I won't-"

"Simply saying that makes you a jerk! If you really didn't want this, you would've told her that beforehand JUST like you did about, God knows how many times before. What was so different this time, huh? Why did you finally agree? Why did you give in after you met her? Stop tricking yourself and just, please stop being a stubborn brat; it's like kicking a superhero toy your dad got you and you loved so much just because you're mad at your dad - heck, it's absolutely the same thing!"

"Don't act like you know me better than myself, and I am not a brat okay?!"

"You'll so regret this later, stupid brat."

"I won't regret one bit. Ever. And I'm not a brat, boo!" 

"Arrghhh, don't come crying to me when you realise I was right!" 

The phone was cut with that. Jaejoong stared at the screen in disbelief.

"Wha- you didn't just hang up on me- you're so dead!!" he yelled into the phone and threw it onto the bed in annoyance, grumbling. Like hell he would regret! It wasn't like she was going anywhere as it seemed and he wasn't being stubborn because of his father or whatever, he wasn't a kid! He was tired of people close to him treating like one. But he couldn't even break free of his father's grasp, who was he to say he wasn't one? He never knew... but well, he had his own reasons for being the way he was and people bothering him just worked to push his buttons. It wasn't like he loved to get mad at people. He liked his calm, simple, quiet life and if he had to live as his father made him, were some silence and peace too much to ask? He didn't think so.

He got up with a restless sigh and looked around. The room was too small, the walls were smothering him. He needed some water and fresh air. He opened the door and walked out; but he almost tripped on something on the floor. He cursed again quietly and looked down to see what it was. Coffee and waffles... he blinked a few times, trying to register this. Why were these here? Well judging from how she had been all the time, it was probably Yeojin; but she used to not care if he was working or not, she would just dive in and bring them inside to him. He couldn't quite make much sense out of it. He picked up the tray, the coffee was still hot so it hadn't been long. Maybe she had heard he was having a phone call?

He blinked as it dawned on him. A phone call that he was basically yelling he hated her and she had heard that... how much had she heard? Why had he put the tray here and left? What was she doing now? More importantly, why did he even care? Still, he couldn't stop himself from putting the tray on the closest table and basically dashing towards her room. 

"Now I am talking to pillows, how crazy have I gone, goodness..." 

Words he faintly heard made him stop at the door of her room. The door was creaked open; but he didn't dare go in. What would he say? "Why have you been listening to my phone calls?" that would be too damn stupid to even think of. And he had nothing to apologize for either, since he was just speaking his mind. So why was he just pondering here, unable to go away or walk in? That was one big mystery. He heard her sigh.

"What did I do to deserve this..." deserve what, he thought, even though he knew inside what she was talking about.  He only kept on listening. She sighed again. 

"Was it that wrong to hope for at least being happy? I thought I could love you." Jaejoong flinched. Did she know he was there? His worries eased slightly when she kept babbling. 

"You just had to hate me... am I that horrible? Am I that impossible to love for you? I guess I really meant nothing more than a bother to you... ahh this hurts, I feel so dumb for even trying." He heard her sniffle, her voice getting shaky as she talked, "I tried this hard for someone who's disgusted to be even friends with me and here I was dreaming and hoping on and on... aaghh stupid Jaejoong, stupid, stupid! I thought we could be happy!" 

She was crying. For the first time, he had heard her cry and he hadn't even seen a single trace of tears at the anniversary of her mother's death. And she was crying now. He felt something squeeze and screw his chest, he had a hard time breathing for a second. You did this to her, his inner voice screamed at him. It wasn't like he cared a lot about her; but he didn't like making people hurt and cry. Maybe his friend was right; maybe he was being too cold for living in the same house for over a year and thinking it wouldn't end, maybe he should have been slightly nicer to her. He sighed quietly at the dull pain throbbing in his chest as she kept on sobbing and mumbling curses meant for him. He had to admit, she hadn't done anything to deserve to be treated like this, except being unfortunate enough to marry him. 

He tiptoed away from her room and to the kitchen, getting himself the glass of water he needed even more now to get rid of that lump sitting right in the middle of his chest. He promised himself that from now on, he would be nicer to her. He didn't need to be the oh, so great lover his father asked him to be; but he could at least be kind. Then she probably wouldn't cry and who knew; maybe things would get a little easier if she stopped trying so hard to be friends too. It would be win-win. 

He went to the balcony, watched the scenery until he got cold, then returned to his room to get some sleep. But before that, he remembered to get an appointment from his father's cardiologist, just in case. 

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surprise surprise, POV switch!! ahaha ^^; hope you like this chappy, please comment, thank you <3