Almost a week had passed since the last time I heard Chanyeol’s voice from the telephone. I don’t know why I must be happy that he said I love you yet he even said I am sorry too without even explaining why. Probably, he, apologizing is just a sign of closure for the two of us. I guess some things are not meant to happen even if you wanted to. Like, probably he still loves me but he doesn’t want us to be together anymore. But I am glad that we finally had the closure and I guess moving forward is my next pace even though I still wanted to hug and kiss him so badly.

I started focusing with my training and been very busy the whole day, I didn’t even have time to check my phone anymore. As I reached my hotel room, I decided to lie down on the bed and just sleep without even changing my clothes or removing my makeup. I woke up the next day quite early so I decided to jog outside for awhile and watched the sunrise at the beach. Since my accommodation is quite near at the beach, I tend to spend my free time there and doing some random stuffs. At 10 in the morning, I headed back to my hotel to prepare for my schedule. Like the usual cycle, I attended my schedule then go back to my hotel and rest.I decided to call my mother so I finally checked out my phone; I noticed I have too many missed calls from an unknown number. I thought it might be Chanyeol so I decided to call the number asap.My heart started beating fast and I felt like I am having goosebumps all over my body. The caller is not the one who I thought it would be. Apparently, it was a voice of a female. She started sobbing as soon as she heard my voice.

“Hyemin-ah—“ The girl on the line said as she tried to control her tears.

“Yu—eonni? Yura eonni? Wh—what happened? Ww..why are you crying?”

“I cannot take this anymore” She started crying again. “Wh—where are you? I-I need to see you.”

“Eonni, I am in Japan right now. What is wrong?”

“Come back here please, I will just pay for your expenses. Just come back here.”

“Eonni, why?” I started worrying about her because it seems like she is afraid of something. “Why should I come back?”

“Ch-chanyeol….”

My phone ran out of battery, I was shocked when I heard Chanyeol’s name. What might it be? Why is she asking me to come back to Seoul as soon as possible? I my phone again as I inserted my charger and tried to call her again. But she didn’t answer it anymore; instead I just received a message from her telling me to just come back.

“Just contact me when you reach Seoul already, come back as soon as possible Hyemin-ssi… I’m begging you. “
I felt disturbed the whole day and I am confused whether to go back to Korea or pursue my career here in Japan. I suddenly remembered the same agony few years ago: whether to marry Chanyeol and got tied up forever or if I will reach my dreams first.

***

I booked the earliest flight the next day and arrived in Seoul before noon. Chanyeol’s sister, Yura, fetch me at the airport and headed towards their house. Yura doesn’t even mutter a single word when we get inside her car. It seems like I don’t have the energy to ask her some things either, probably it’s because of jetlag or something.

Yura hugged me as soon as we arrived at their house, I just patted her and hug her back.

“Eonni, what is wrong?” I asked her curiously.

“Let’s just talk inside.”

Yura held my hand as we enter their home, waiting at the living room is their mother. She slightly smiled at me and welcomed me with a hug. There are only three of them in Chanyeol’s house since his dad passed away ever since he was in middle school so it’s just his mom who supports them and Yura eonni too.

Chanyeol’s mom was supposed to be mad at me and I thought she would welcome me with a slap on the face but she just hugged me. It bothered me even more because I find it weird.

“Sorry for asking you to come back here, I heard you are in Japan too.” Chanyeol’s mom said as she gestured me to sit on the sofa. “And I must admit that I am still mad at you for what you have done but I guess we should set that aside first.”

“What is wrong eomonim?” I glanced at Yura and then looked back at Chanyeol’s mom.

“Chanyeol is dying…” Yura said as her tears suddenly formed around her eyes again. “He might be gone sooner than what we expected”

“—WH—WHAT?!” I suddenly stood up from my seat and looked at Yura seriously. “Do not kid me like that eonni, that’s not funny..”

“Chanyeol has Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, doctor said that it is a neurological disorder..” Chanyeol’s mom said as she grabbed a tissue and started wiping her tears. “They even said that it is incurable and… Chanyeol might die sooner.” She started crying but trying herself to control it but cannot.

“Did you get a second opinion from another doctor?” I can’t believe what I am hearing right now. I am wishing that it was just a dream and I badly wanted to woke up.

“We already did.” Yura replies. “Three doctors already checked Yeol, but all of them had the same findings.. There’s nothing to do, Chanyeol already gave up. He even quitted taking up his meds and started to jail himself upinside his room. We can’t think of what to do, he just kept on muttering your name all day.”

I cannot believe what I just heard. “Please tell me that this is just a dream.” Tears suddenly forming on my eyes as I looked away and wiped it with my hand. “Where is he?”

“Inside his room, but before you meet him I suggest you should take a rest first and lets meet  again after. You can use the guest room on the second floor and stay there for the night.” Yeol’s mom suddenly butted in.

“Let me check out Chanyeol first.” I shook my head and smiled slightly at them.

Yura assisted me towards Chanyeol’s room. I just barged in without even knocking on the door. Chanyeol was sitting on his bed while strumming his guitar. I peeked on the door as I slightly opened it. He was actually playing a sad melody and it started to make my heart ache.

I walked slowly towards him then I planted a force smile on my face. Chanyeol suddenly stopped playing the guitar and looked at me with a surprised face.

“Hyemin-ah??” Chanyeol said as he stood up and walked even closer. “What the hell are you doing here? Did I asked you to come and visit me here?” He told me with a slightly loud and grumpy voice. “Aren’t you in Japan? What the ”

“Yura asked me to come back here, but she didn’t said the reason why I must come back. I just heard your condition awhile ago.” I replied her.

Chanyeol suddenly became silent for a bit and shocked me up after.

“GET—OUT!!!” Chanyeol finally exploded and stood up from his bad. “GET OUT OF HERE! I DON’T NEEED YOU HERE!!”

Chanyeol pushed me out of his room and I failed to hug him even for a few seconds.

“I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY! I DON’T NEED ANYONE OF YOU” He yelled at me and glared at my face full with anger. “I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! NOR ANYBODY!”

I wrapped my arms around Chanyeol’s waist and pulled him into a tight hug as I bury my head on his chest. Chanyeol pushed me away and he locked the door instantly.

I was just standing outside Chanyeol’s room and all I ever did is to heaved a deep sigh. I decided to head back to the guest room and take a rest. I keep on questioning myself on stuffs that suddenly bombarded me.

I can't seem to control my emotions, but i guess this is just way too much .

"Yeol, I love you.."