We hurriedly get out of the bed and wore our clothes as soon as we woke up. I still have no idea what happened last night because I think both of us were pretty drunk and. As I’m taking a shower, I still forced myself to remember what happened yesterday. From what I can remember we talked about what happened in the past, the reason why I left him and stuffs but I don’t know why did it reached to the point of sleeping together without wearing anything at all. Did something happen to us? Did Chanyeol remember anything from what happened last night?I went out of the bathroom while damping the towel on my hair as I see Chanyeol entering the room. I don’t know why I feel awkward towards him and I feel like my cheeks are burning. What if there is really something happened between us? I mean, it’s possible right? We are both drunk.

“About what happened last night.” Chanyeol started talking as he sat on the chair facing me. “I just wanted to apologize.”

“Did you plan this to happen? Are you not drunk? Did you wait for me to get drunk and be wasted before you molested me?” I throw the towel at Chanyeol and glared at him
 

Chanyeol just shrugged and he grinned so annoyingly as he looked at me.
 

“Ya! Answer me! Are you not going to answer me?” I crossed my arm and clenched my fist. “If you really wanted me that badly, you can say so—not like this. erted sicko!”
 

Chanyeol started laughing as I am about to burst and punched him on the face. “Look, I can’t remember what happen last night okay? All I can remember is that, you confessed that you still sorry for whatever you 
did to me, for abandoning me and you even cried out loud and I am afraid the elders might wake up so I comforted you. After that—“

“And then after that?”

“I don’t know what happened next”

“Whatever Yeol, this is embarassing.”

“Let’s just, not talk about this. By the way, the car is okay now. We can head back if you wanted to already.” He said then walked outside to eat.

I followed Chanyeol out and greeted halmeoni and her grandson. She prepared a lot of Jeju’s specialty, I can hear my stomach grumbling and wanted to try everything out. Chanyeol patted the space beside him and I didn’t even think twice and sat already.

“Eat to your heart’s content my dear children” Halmeoni said as she served a bowl of rice to us.

“Neh, halmeoni” I replied and handed out a chopstick to Yeol and tried to avoid his gaze because I still feel awkward about what happened. Although I feel like he is enjoying teasing me.

We bidded goodbye to the local villagers and headed back towards the hotel. Chanyeol was holding the steering wheel while I am looking outside the window. I can’t seem to think of what to say or do inside the car so I just opened the radio.

I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind for a little bit, the song playing on the radio seems to be familiar.

“Can we go back to the days our love was strong

Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong

Can somebody tell me how to get things back

The way they used to be

Oh God give me a reason

I'm down on bended knee~”

Chanyeol sang along with the music, boys II men’s on bended knees. I can feel him looking at me with that annoying grin on his face. If only I could walk out and abandon him, I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling weird and I feel like crying again. Maybe the song is way too sad and it’s supposed to be a ballad song and melt the listener’s heart.

“I want a new life

And I want it with you”

I can seem to relate with the song.. as the song play so is my mind. I’m responding to all the lyrics and the world seemed like it became just me and the radio. I know it sounds insane but, I really feel like that as the song played.

“If you feel the same

Don't ever let it go”

To be honest, I really want Chanyeol to come back to me but thinking of all the things I did to him I don’t think that I still deserve a second chance.

“You gotta believe in the spirit of love

It'll heal all things”

I wonder if Chanyeol still do love me though, or probably he moved on already and it’s quite not possible for him to love and trust me again because of what I have done. But I still want him—I don’t know why I am eager to get him back, I don’t want to see him with someone else. I just want it to be me, just me.. I want to be the apple of his eyes again. I wanted to be the important girl of his life again, next to his mother and little sister. If only I could turn back time, I shouldn’t have abandoned him.

“Hyemin-ah.” Chanyeol was tapping my shoulder and waking me up. “We are here already.”

I didn’t noticed that I dozed off while thinking and stressing myself out about a lot of things, I fell asleep while questioning myself about me and that annoying person that I still love. I want him to love me again like before tho. Chanyeol opened the door and assisted me to come out, as we head towards the entrance I can’t seem to bid goodbye to him. I wanted to say everything that I wanted to say to him but I don’t have any guts to do it. I am the one to be blamed with everything so I shouldn’t ruined everything for the second time. Chanyeol is better off without me, more like he looks even better without me, without us, without the marriage. Maybe we really aren’t meant to be, maybe things doesn’t go the way we wanted it to be.

I hesitated to confess to Chanyeol so I decided to just say goodnight and headed inside my hotel room.

I cannot sleep, lots of thoughts are still bombarding my mind and just like the usual I cannot focus again. I really wanted to know what he is thinking of. I wonder what will be his answer if I tell him that I am still into him more seriously and I wanted him back, I wanted us back. Imagining him with other girls pisses me off, but he is not mine and will not be anymore.

“STUPID HYEMIN!” I yelled in front of the mirror. “it’s do or die, so what if he doesn’t wanted you back anymore, atleast you tried right? You will never get bothered your conflicting mind and terrible mind if you figured out the answer.”

I hurriedly wore my pants and sweatshirt and headed towards Chanyeol’s accomodation. I was seriously panting that time as I continously pushed the doorbell and Chanyeol opened it after a few minutes. It looks like he got out of the shower because his hair is still wet and I can smell the aroma of the body wash that he used.

I ignored everything and hugged Chanyeol tightly, I don’t want to let go of him. I wanted him to be mine and mine only.

“Chanyeol, give me second chance. I wanted to work things out for us, I wanted you back, I wanted to fixed everything that I ruined years ago. Can’t we love each other again? Can’t you love me again?” I buried my face on Chanyeol’s chest and I am really afraid of what will be his answer. I can feel my lower body trembling.

“Are you drunk?” Chanyeol my hair and makes me face him. “It’s hard to go back to how we used to be Hyemin-ah… you hurted me so deeply.”
 

“I know Yeol, but I wanted to give this another chance. Can’t you let me?”

“I am afraid what happened before might happen again, Hyemin-ah” Chanyeol cupped my face and forces me to look at him. “Can’t we just be friends instead, I don’t want to risk everything again. I am still tired and hurted about the last time. And probably that feelings of yours is just a confusion, it might be just out of pity because you are the one who abandoned me.

I seriously cried after he replied me, I can feel that the relationship of the two of us will not work at all anymore. I guess he still really feel mad about what happened. Will I still be able to bring him back to my life for the second time?