(A/N: GUUUYYYSS! I'm So SO SO Sorry for being late with this update. And you were all so patient and such beautiful people <3 College is stressful haha only 2 weeks in but this year i have alot more responsibilites, classes regarding my major and as an upperclassman I accepted as being a mentor for freshmen and you guys are adorable. Kids these days (even though i'm only a year older hohohoho) but seriously my subscribers are the best for understanding me <(^3^)> 

I will try to update every week but if i can't i'm sorry, i'll try not to go over 2 weeks >.>) But enough of that! Here's the chapter and to make up for i made it a little longer than usual so yeah......Bye!) 

The door banged open and in walked Jongin by himself, Krystal was nowhere to be seen. The look of pure happiness fell from Sehun’s face the moment Jongin appeared without Krystal.

“Where’s Krystal?”

It wasn’t like the girl to just disappear especially on how passionate and focus she was with this performance. Suzy was worried, their arguments put aside, Krystal was the most important to her and she couldn’t hide it.   

“Her mom called asking her to come home, she needed her help with something.”

Suzy wasn’t convinced that was all, Krystal and Jongin had a pretty long talk and all of a sudden her mom called and he comes in tired? 

“So can I go home?” Suzy was adverting her gaze from Sehun, something Jongin picked up and sighed

“No, just….just sing the song one more time and let me watch you both.”

Sehun tilted his head to the side, he looked more stressed than he did before when they fought. He couldn’t help but feel like if anything happened it was partially his fault for bringing up the topic and Krystal and Suzy overhearing it. He shouldn’t have said anything because he understood what his friend was saying but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Jongin-“

“Suji, sing”

With one final glance, Suzy picked up the dropped mic and nodded her head to signal that she was ready. Jongin counted out the steps as Sehun danced, not once looking away from Sehun’s form as Suzy continued to sing. Not even when he felt her staring at him, not even then- he had to get his feelings straight.

……………………………………………………………………

The final rehearsal was the morning of that day, Suzy dragged herself to the auditorium of her school and found Jongin already there moving things from the stage trying to make room.

Why is he the first one here? I thought they’d all be here by now.

Suzy quietly closed the door behind her and sat down in one of the seats in the front row watching Jongin as he moved on and off stage. He didn’t notice her and she couldn’t help but compare the kiss she shared with Sehun with Jongin’s. When they were a couple each kiss felt like their first, their shy glances and sped up heart beats were exciting and refreshing. Reminiscing made her smile crooked, it was a painful memory and now it was tainted by Sehun’s. She didn’t know what to do.

She heard a loud bang and got up from her seat and ran up the side stairs to the stage to go behind it. Jongin was bent over, holding onto his side and breathing out heavily. It seemed like with all the heavy moving from the last play’s props he strained himself.

“Oppa! Are you okay?” She placed her hand on his back and he instantly straightened up feeling her touch. He spun around and backed away giving her a small smile.

“I’m fine. Didn’t bend with my knees and put the entire load on my back really.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief but froze instantly recalling what she just did and called him. She looked down at her hands with wide eyes, completely besides herself. Jongin notice the change in her and turned back around to pick up the box he dropped.

“You should go back to the front. The others will be here —“

“Hello??” A loud voice rang through the auditorium and Jongin stiffened recognizing the voice.

“Now. Krystal’s here. I need to finish moving things to make sure Sehun has enough space”

He was dismissing her and if she wasn’t so shocked she would have yelled at him for doing such but she could feel the tension in the air the moment Krystal made her presence known. There was another voice that joined hers to which Suzy stiffened to. Sehun

“Go Suji before they think anything”

Suzy ran to the front of the stage and Sehun beamed at her but it soon faltered noticing her indifference to him. Krystal rolled her eyes and nodded to Suzy on stage.

“Where have you been?” Krystal raised an eyebrow at Suzy’s tone.

“Are you my mother or something?” it sounded like Suzy was worried and was about to scold her. As if

“No but she needed you apparently”

Suzy narrowed her eyes at her from up on stage and Krysal didn’t like the height difference. It made her feel small

“My mom? Wh-“

Jongin came from behind the stage and waved to them. Sehun smiled at him, seemingly their fight from the other day was washed away like it was nothing or at least he pretended-he hoped the other won’t find out about the kiss otherwise he won’t be able to play it off like he is now. Krystal kept her gaze on Suzy questioning why her mom was brought up but chose to ignore it.

“Sehun get on stage with Suzy. Krystal turn on the sound system and I’ll work the lights from behind here. Krystal will observe you as an audience member and I’ll watch from here. Understood?”            

And when they took their spots, Krystal flicked on the switch and placed herself dead center, eyes not leaving Suzy as she sang, making sure she heard and felt everything and this rehearsal felt all too real. Her voice was just as nervous or honest as the song proclaimed to be, making Krystal uneasy.

And it seemed such because all Suzy was thinking of was her memories, her confession to Jongin and when she sang it seemed like she was remembering it all, just how she felt at that moment and how desperately scared she was about what he would say after but how determined she was to give it her all.  It was her best one because it was real. It was her best one because she wanted to erase the memory.  

Jongin turned off the lights when it ended and patted Sehun on the back in a ‘job well done’ act and flashed a tight smile to Suzy.

“You did well too. I got the message” Suzy’s eyes dipped down at his remark but felt a piece of the weight on her shoulder leave a bit. Thank you 

Krystal jumped up on stage and joined the others giving Sehun a hug as if saying that his hard work paid off. She pursed her lips at Suzy but nonetheless praised the girl too

“Really well and it was scary. Sing like that and Sehun will definitely dance with a lot of passion”

Suzy eyed Krystal as she spoke but took it all with a nod.

“Don’t mess up tonight”

…………………………………………

                Jieun found a spot next to Krystal when Suzy and Sehun stepped on stage. The excitement from the crowd was high and the lights were dimmed down. Once the melody filled the auditorium Jieun chuckled to herself recognizing the song. Krystal heard her giggle and saw from the corner of her eye the girl mouthing the words along, eyes closed and swaying.

                Krystal kept her gaze to the front as Sehun glided across the stage, moving his body in sync with Suzy’s voice. They were good but something about this performance seemed off to her especially since Jieun knew the lyrics and it was a personal song to Suzy. Her first thought, the one she made about the song…she wanted to know if it was true.

“Jieun ah” She leaned to the side to grab her friend’s attention. Her classmates were all entranced with the performance that she had no problem talking out loud about this in a public place. “That song-the one Suzy’s singing. You know it” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah, I helped her write it” Her voice was casual as if she didn’t know that anything she said could cause Krystal to crack because after all Jongin was very important in the younger’s life, almost as much as Suzy.

“Why…um why did she write the song?” Her voice was steady but as Jieun turned her head to meet Krystal’s stare she saw it, the slight shake in her friend’s eye. As always

“I think you know why Krystal. You’re a smart girl, think about it”

“Kai.” Jieun smiled to her and focused her attention once more on stage, the song was almost ending, she recognized the bridge and Sehun was definitely giving it his all, if only Suzy would see that. She’s something, that Bae Suzy.

“Kai? Hmm seems about right, it was her confession song to him which makes even me surprised that she’s singing it and Sehun’s dancing to it. Ironic right?” Jongin wasn’t even in the audience, he was backstage helping the next group go over their dance, he refused to sit down and take a break even to Krystal’s request.

Something in Krystal broke, was it her heart? No, she wasn’t that fragile but it was her hope that she lost. Hope that Kai would get over Suzy and finally see her, hope that this song wasn’t what she thought and it was even more painful understanding it. She lost her hope that Kai would allow her for once to call him Jongin. 

…………………………………………….

The performance went well. A lot of students turned up, tickets were sold out and the cheers were as if an idol group was performing-loud.

They kept it professional on stage and off, Suzy didn’t mention the kiss again and Sehun knew better than to act on it. He was slowly making his way back and to push her too much would drive her off the edge. It wasn’t easy for him but he needed to suffer.

Krystal was surprisingly suppressed, like her kitty claws were shaved down, only small cuts or minor comments but it wasn’t anything like herself. Jongin was out of it too, trying to approach Suzy at times but looking back and seeing Krystal’s expressions paralyzed him. He hasn’t figured anything out.

Suzy gave Taemin a thumbs up at the end of the dance, even though he knew she hadn’t stayed for it all he was still content that she had seen some. He shrugged his shoulders as if his routines and dances weren’t much off professional and she scoffed at his cockiness but swallowed her words because he had the talent to back up his attitude.

He had offered to walk her home after it but she declined, pointing to his classmates that were waiting for him to celebrate along with Sehun, Krystal, Kai, Jaebum, Jieun, Jiyoung and Hyeri. Hyeri noticed Suzy and waved a little ignoring Krystal’s raised eyebrows. Suzy nodded in her direction and took off down the street only to turn back a moment later.  

……………………

“You’re hanging out with us now?” Krystal put her foot out and continued walking down the road, the others falling in step with her. Their group was alone, their classmates walked ahead of them as they waited for Taemin to catch up. Nobody commented as they walked on how Jongin stood behind her or how she didn’t even move an inch for him to walk beside her. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and he watched it bounced as she walked. His mind was fumbled and he could feel himself going insane with the amount of pressure he had.

“Flattered aren’t you?” Taemin quick tongue spilled out. He sent her a wink to which she snarled at. He wasn’t allowed to act so casual around her after the act he’s been pulling. How dare he be so nonchalant about everything when he knew how much Suzy and her were on opposite poles.

“I’m not, just surprised on how easy you’re being with the person who caused your girlfriend to be where she is now”

The air was already chilly but her words just caused it to freeze. Jieun for once kept shut as she halted her steps. Jaebum raised a hand to his cheek, slightly pressing down on the bruise and took a deep breath. Hyeri’s jaw slacken and brought her hands to to cover up her gasp. Her eyes frantically flew to Jongin, whose eyes were closed. He was pinching the bridge of his nose to calm himself down, thinking that it was her being so emotional, their breakup, causing her to be so harsh, too insensitive to Taemin. Sehun eyes widen in aghast and yelled Krystal’s name that didn’t even faze her. It was supposed to a celebration of their hard work, not this. She wasn’t supposed to be calling Taemin out on the spot. They held a mutual respect for one another, knowing when to speak about it and even though they all questioned his actions, Krystal didn’t have to put it in such a way. As if he was betraying Sulli-that was too cold. 

“Krystal ah, you can’—“ Jiyoung’s words cut short when a boisterous laugh rang through the night.

Taemin was doubling over with laughter, he was clutching his stomach and the corners of his eyes held tears in them. They didn’t make a sound as Taemin continued laughing, each of their hearts clenched as they watched their friend laughing off his pain. Krystal’s bottom lip quivered as he stood up and wiped off the tears from his eyes.

“You’re unbelievable.” His breathy tone took away hers.

“I-I”

Taemin smiled at her expression and ruffled her bangs, reassuring her that he wasn’t mad at her. He turned back to the group nodding his head to all of them.

“I guessed you guys would be like this, you shouldn’t be mad at Krystal for saying that because each of you have thought the same, she was just brave enough to ask me.”

They couldn’t take his smile, how lightly he was taking everything, how well he took the cold shoulder from them the first day and how he, right now, is not having any hard feelings towards them.

“You ask me what I’m doing with her. I put my name underneath hers on the list. And at the top of her own”

“What list?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Taemin ah”

Taemin looked up at the night sky and saw a small star shining brightly on the dark blue blanket, it was the only star and it would have looked out of place and unimportant, practically useless if Taemin didn’t find comfort in it. As if the star was leading him back.

“Ahh, well I’m hungry let’s get some tteokbokki” He turned around and walked down the street, the dim light of the street lamps were leading the way and Jiyoung following right after him, not wanting to be left alone or lose him. Hyeri, shock fully leaving her system, grabbed ahold of Jaebum’s shivering hand and raced down for him not a second after he made a left. Sehun’s stomach growled and Jongin chuckled at his friend’s blushing cheeks. He bumped his shoulders and jogged up the street following after Jaebum’s silver hair with Sehun on his tail. Leaving Jieun with Krystal.

Jieun shook her head and sighed loudly.

“You sure know how to ruin a mood”

“I wasn’t—I didn’t mean” Her words were all jumbled under Jieun’s scrutinizing eyes.

Jieun looked up at the sky and scoffed slightly “It’s not going to work. It’s impossible to completely isolate her if one goes off because soon other will too. Aish I wanted this game to go on a little longer, to win. And I could have.”

Krystal once again that night didn’t understand a word. First Taemin with his ‘list’ and now Jieun. And before she had a chance to ask, the girl took down the road making a left at the end of it.

Her feet their own and cursed herself in her head as she walked further and further away from her friends.

……………………………………..

She found herself in the piano room after the performance. She wasn’t sure what she felt when she was on stage but it wasn’t the right feeling, just standing there singing. Her fingers were twitching on her sides and she was honestly dying to sit down. She was talented in singing no doubt but it never felt right for her no matter how hard she pushed herself.

                Someone pushed the door opened and Suzy groaned in exhaustion. She knew it would be Sehun looking for her, after all she’d been avoiding him whenever she could or Jongin would cough and Suzy’s shoulders would tense. Jongin was on a different level than Sehun and she hated that she was riding the elevator pressing random buttons. She prayed that she hit the rooftop one but a body slumping right down next to her and fluttering over the keys caused the elevator to halt in between two levels.

“You followed my advice for once. The emotions were on point”

Krystal was pressing down on each of the black and white keys in a low to high sequence. Suzy looked over at her ex best friend and stared at her side profile for a bit until she caught the slight twitch of her eyebrow.

“Why are you staring at me? Too pretty for you?” It was a defense mechanism. Whenever she felt uncomfortable she’d be sarcastic and Suzy was at first hurt to know that Krystal felt uneasy to be near her but thought to herself that she should be feeling that way, but she wasn’t. She was never uncomfortable around Krystal before or after everything. Sure Sehun and Jongin, even Jiyoung but not Krystal.

“You look sad”

“What?” It was an unexpected response. She hadn’t given off any indication that she was upset, she was though but she had a poker face that could run Sehun out of business.

“Before whenever you were in my presence I got the vibe of anger but recently it’s been sadness” Her voice wasn’t implying anything but Suzy knew how the other felt, words or not.

“Damn you” Krystal’s body faced hers, one leg over the bench and an inquiring look upon her face.

“What?”

“How can you tell but the others don’t?”

“Don’t I know you the best?”

It was a simple statement but it held a lot. They knew everything about each other, their favorite color, what movie they’d watch if they were sick, how Krystal always carried around headphones so she could put them on before opening her house door, how Suzy kept her diary in the second drawer of her chest underneath her socks. And just one night caused them to be so far apart, as if their memories meant nothing.

It was unexpected but a light blush covered Krystal’s face. Maybe it was because she hasn’t heard such a comment from Kai or from anybody else that she had forgotten that there was someone that knew her better than she knew herself. That no matter what she did to the girl, Suzy would always know her the best. It was comforting.

“Play me a song”

“Why?”

“Just play.”

She hasn’t played in over six months but once she heard Krystal’s request her body automatically leaned over to play. Krystal relaxed and closed her eyes as the room was filled with a soft lull. She didn’t even know what piece the girl was playing but she didn’t care and quietly started singing random lyrics to fit the melody. It was awkward but it was pleasant to hear too. And all too quickly it stopped.

“Why’d you stop?”

“I messed up”

“Keep playing”

“Bu-“ A glare swallowed her words and honestly she was glad to begin again. Why is it when anybody else asked her to play she refused yet Krystal’s sharp eyes and firm voice motivated her to do such?

“This is the first time I’ve heard you play. You’re recitals don’t count. I’ve never gotten to hear you practice before.”

She didn’t pause when she knew she should have. Krystal words were shocking in a sense of truth, her best friend never visited her in practice and Suzy didn’t watch Krystal’s, they were too warped around their own lives that the failed to find the importance in the other.

“We broke up. He said some things and a break was in order. I’ve never understood the purposes of ‘breaks’ because wouldn’t that be even more confusing than dating?

“I’m okay though. The ‘sad aura’ you see around me is just your messed up-self trying to find something wrong with me because you’re messed up already. I’m totally okay.”

Suzy knew she wasn’t and Krystal was just an open book to her, she spoke on her emotions, regretting some things but knowing how she wanted to come across was always the point in their relationship. They were brash, sometimes too honest but they were never fake. Krystal kept her crush a secret and never acted upon it to Suzy’s misunderstanding. Suzy was always friendly and was admirable to everyone, her heart wasn’t easy and people are allowed to be confused, Krystal just didn’t understand that.

For a pair that knew so much about the other, they missed a lot.

“Playing with hearts, you both do that so well”

Suzy’s fingers stopped when the last word was uttered, she felt a chill run down her spine. She wasn’t angry at Krystal because if she analyzed the situation real hard, she wasn’t that off. She caused a lot of people pain.

“It was a confession song wasn’t it. The one you sang, the one we put Sehun up to dance to without knowing it was Kai’s, was the song you sang when you asked him out.”

Suzy pulled her hands away from the keys and took a quick glance at Krystal before lowering her head. The same Krystal who Jongin broke up with, the one who the song was dedicated for. The one she went out with first, the one she was still hurt over and the one she told to stop if he was just playing. He listened to me

“I’m sorry”

Krystal opened to continue ranting but stopped short hearing Suzy’s words. Suzy lifted her head to meet Krystal’s eye and smiled. Her eyes were watering but the other didn’t mention it. She’s seen the girl cry before, one of the few people to have and her stomach churned seeing it. Suzy was shedding her walls, one by one as she played the piano to her ex best friend and Krystal felt an immense surge of guilt pile up in her lungs. Like she was going to drown if she didn’t spill some out.

“A boy….I left the person that knew me the most for a boy that thought I was a toy. Pathetic right?” Her voice cracked at the end and Suzy inched closer to her on the bench.

“He didn’t want to go out with me you know, I forced him. And was ultimately used as a distraction.”

She reached for Krystal’s hair and pulled it slightly.

“That’s what I don’t want to do to Sehun. Use him as a distraction. Like you said I played with hearts, tossed mine into the air and now I’m looking for it. To love myself first.”

Krystal pressed her palms together, she wanted to pull her hair out of Suzy’s hair but it was a thing they did. To play with the other’s hair as a sign of comforting. It was familiar.

“Love yourself?”

“Try your best Krystal as of right now because once I love myself again who knows who I’m coming after.”

It was a declaration of war and Krystal was taken aback by it. The girl in front of her had played the piano at her request, showed her her tears, played with her hair and apologized for singing a song about her ex- boyfriend. Just what was this girl?

“I really want to hate you”

“I know”

“For a lot of reasons but not the one you’re thinking of right now”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you this once, a repayment for saying sorry about the song. Taemin isn’t the type to forgive easily especially when it came to her and he’s standing by your side now. I’ve asked you that night what happened and you better tell me very soon before I find out myself. Sulli wasn’t just your friend, she was all of ours.”

It was a twisted message, it wasn’t an apology or anything but to put a label on it, it would be an acknowledgement. She didn’t want to lose the friends that were drifting because she, herself, was being awakened by Taemin’s words, Sehun’s blinded love, Jongin’s confliction and Suzy’s actions. Krystal didn’t think she was going to talk to Suzy but her feet lead her to her. She was upset and in seek of comfort, sought someone to talk to and it turned out to be the one girl that she turned everyone against. The girl she stole her title from, her spot among the group, and the one she betrayed because of love.

“Hey Krystal. It was good to speak with you”

“Don’t expect much from it”

But Suzy knew what the other meant and nodded her head. Yeah I miss you too.

(A/N: i don't even know what to write. I don't even know what I WROTE! My feels are all over the place like bless taemin for being there. And Suzy and Krystal's talk like  (this unicorn is precious)  Ah i'm just done.