I have been hiding these feelings for too long. I want to let it go and confess to her but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that if I did, everything will change. We are friends, a very good friends and I don’t want to risk that. I am not even sure if she likes me. We are in the same K-Pop girl group and it’s making it harder for me. I’m a girl and she is too. I am not supposed to feel like this towards her but unfortunately, I did.

“Jungie, here’s your food.” She said to me and handed me the paper bag.

“Thank you, Amber.” I said to her with a smile.

“You’re welcome.” She answered with her dorky smile and joinded our other members in our small living room in our dorm.

She’s close to everyone and I didn’t like it. During our concerts, I hate it the most every time she walked around, hugging her friends and doing some skinships with them. But I don’t have any right to stop her right? Or get mad at her from doing that. So the only thing that I can do is to look from a distance with a heartache and looked away. I don’t care if other people will call me cold for not smiling. I just find it very hard to smile with that feeling in your heart. Sometimes, I just mingle with others to divert my attention.

“It seems like your freezing her to death with that stare.” Victoria spoke which shifted my attention to her.

“She didn’t even notice that I was looking at her.” I sighed. “She’s really dense!”

“I think Luna and Sulli are just keeping her occupied.” Vic cheered me.

“I really hate these feelings for her. It’s making me frustrated!” I complained.

“Why don’t you confess to her already? Who knows, she might feel the same way to you too. We all know that she’s treating you extra special among the rest.” She said.

“I don’t think so. She’s always been hanging out with Min and the rest of Miss A members. She’s sweet to Sulli and Luna too.” I retorted.

“But she cares a lot about you. Buy you food and do whatever you wanted her to do…without complaints.” she stated.

“That is not an enough basis that she has romantic feelings for me too, Unnie.” I sighed.

With that, our conversation end. They called us to join them in the living room. I finished my food first before I did. I sat on the couch while she was in front of me, sitting on the floor. I was always looking at her from behind and I don’t know if she will even bother to turn around to see me.  We watched this one drama series in DVD. Sulli was the one who fell asleep first, then Luna followed. Vic woke them up and told them to transfer in their rooms. Later, she retired for the night too and I was left with her alone. She transferred on the couch and sat next to me. My heart went ecstatic by the touch of her arm to mine. I calmed myself and decided to focus on the show.

“You’re filming again tomorrow, right?” she suddenly asked and from the corner of my eyes, I saw her looking at me.

“Y-Yeah.” I answered her shortly.

“A lot of viewers like Lee Bona’s character.” She said and laughed.

“How about you?” I questioned her and face her then she stop from laughing.

“Well, she’s close to the real you. I like her but I love the real Krystal Jung more.”she replied and grinned.

“Stupid!” I replied and pushed her aside.

I can feel my heart is pounding and I know I’m blushing. I don’t want her to see that slight evidence of what is the effect of her sweet words to me. She’s always like this, she’s always making me confuse and make me fall in love with her…harder.

“You don’t have to push me, you know.” She said and chuckled.

“I want to push you, got a problem with that?” I replied.

“Nothing, Princess!” she quickly answered with an innocent smile.

“Good!” I answered her and looked at the TV before I smiled.

It’s already midnight and I already feel sleepy. She on the other hand is still wide awake. She is the one who sleep late among all of us. I tried to keep my eyes open but failed. Despite my position now, I still feel comfortable. I slowly opened my eyes and I saw her face. She’s carrying me to my room and this is always the best moment of us for me. I closed my eyes again, pretending to sleep. She slowly lay me down on my bed, being careful not to wake me up.

“I wish are not celebrities. I wish we are just an ordinary person. I wish that I can freely say that I love you to you. But, I’m afraid that if I did, I might lose what we have right now.”she spoke which made my heart stopped.

I got shocked of what I heard from her. I don’t know if I will open my eyes or remain them closed and pretend to sleep.

“I know you will never see me the way I see you that’s why, I should learn to accept and be contented on what I am to you. It but that is my only option to do for now.”she continued and I can feel the sadness in her voice. “Good night, Princess.”

She kissed me on my forehead and I can feel her weight lifted up from my bed. I don’t know why I didn’t dare to wake up. I just let her walk out of my room and shut the door closed. Maybe, I am afraid of what possibly will happen if we will be together. What will my family and friends will say if I date her. What will happen to my career and image? What will happen if I just continued worrying about those ?

“Amber!” I called her after I rushed out of my room.

I have my answers now. I will regret it for the rest of my life and will live miserably. I don’t want that.

“Soojung…” she mumbled and I noticed the shock expression on her face.

I marched towards her. I pierced my eyes straight to hers. I’m afraid that this might only be my one and only chance, so better for me to grab it and not let it pass.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me.

“Do you love?”I asked her.

“H-Huh?” she asked and she starts to look nervous.

“I will only just say this once and will only give you three seconds to respond.” I told her. “Kiss me if you love me.”

I noticed her eyes slowly widened.

“One, two..thr…”

You know what happened next. Of course…

‘She kissed me!’