For the first time, I love someone so much. She is not perfect and she has a lot of flaws. But despite all of it, I still fell in love with her. I don’t know when it did start or how did it happen. I just felt it. She is the first girl that I confessed to. Every day I always show and remind her that I love her. But they say if you do things every day, the extraordinary became ordinary because it will become normal. This is what happened to us. She considers what I am doing to her as normal anymore, nothing special to it.

“Can you please just give me some space? I got a lot of things in mind right now and I have no time for this.” She said to me when we meet up.

“Do you want me to stay away from you?” I asked her with furrowed brows.

“N—Yes! I’m sorry but yes.” She answered me.

I want to protest but I don’t want to burden her too. I agreed to her. I gave her the space that she was asking from me. I distance myself from her. Although we still see each other every day, we didn’t talk. Yes, I miss her. I miss talking to her and being with her but this is what she wants. I can’t do anything about it. Days had passed and I got used to this set up. I manage to stop thinking about her, not to look for her and lived my day without longing for her.

“Amber, can we talk.” She said when she approached me in our school.

“Sure.” I answered her casually.

I should feel happy that she finally talked to me but I didn’t. I feel nothing at all. We went to a place where we can talk privately. I think we are going to discuss about us.

“I-I’m sorry.” She said to me without looking straight into my eyes.

“Sorry for what?” I asked with furrowed brows. I got confused why she’s apologizing to me.

“I already have a boyfriend.” She said to me.

I got surprised when I heard what she said. I want to get angry but I can’t somehow feel that feeling to her. My heart was shattered but I have to act like I’m okay with it. I’m such an idiot because even though that she hurts me, I’m still worried about her.

“Are you happy with him?” I asked her.

“Y-Yeah.” She answered.

“Do you feel that he loves you?”

“Yes.”

“Then you don’t have to apologize for that.” I said to her.

“But..”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Krys. It’s true that I love you, but my love won’t be enough if it doesn’t reach your heart and is not making you happy.” I cut her off.

“Thank you, Am. I know you will find someone for you.” She told me.

“I hope so too.” I answered and chuckled as I scratch the back of my head.

After a couple of months, I did manage to find someone. I often hang with her and rarely hang with Krystal. She already got a boyfriend and I don’t want other people to misunderstand our relationship. In one of our school event, we all gather together.

“Amber, why don’t you introduce your girl to us?” Jonghyun teased me.

“Guys, this is Suzy Bae, my future girlfriend.” I said with a dorky smile and Suzy playfully hit me on my arm then.

“Hi everyone, I’m Suzy, it’s nice to meet you all!” Suzy introduced herself to them.

My friends introduced themselves to her one by one. I roamed my eyes around, looking for Krystal and I spotted her sitting alone in one table. I heard that she and her boyfriend had split up. I don’t know what’s the reason behind it. I approached her because it seems to me that she looks lonely.

“Hey!” I called her and she turned her head to me.

“Hey.” She answered weakly with a faint smile.

“Since when did you love solitary?” I joked and she laughed.

“Just recently.” She answered me.

I noticed that she is looking beyond me and I turned around meeting Suzy’s eyes. I waved at her and she smile. She knew about us and Krystal’s past.

“She seems like a nice girl.” Krystal asked.

“She is.” I answered her before I turn to her.

“A nice person deserves someone nice too.” She spoke.

“And mean people deserve someone mean too?” I answered back with raised brows.

“Probably.” She replied.

“I think opposite persons are perfect for each other.” I stated.

“What made you say that?” she asked me.

“Because they will complete each another.” I stated.

“Maybe you’re right.” She answered with a faint smile. “This time, I’m the one who is happy for you.”

“I think you all misunderstood, Suzy is just a friend.”

“I thought she is your future girlfriend?”she asked with raised brows.

“I was just kidding earlier.” I said and laughed.

“You are not courting her?”

“Nope.”

“Why didn’t you get yourself a girlfriend until now?”

“Because until now, you are still the one who’s occupying my heart and mind.” I told her and she looked a bit surprise about it.

“I-I thought you already had moved on and stop loving me?” she said with disbelief in her voice.

“It’s not because I stop expressing my love for you it means that I stop loving you because that will never happen. When I said I love you, it’s not just a temporary love, it is permanent. I love you Krystal and I always will.” I told her with reassuring smile.

She jumped on me and hugged me tightly.