Day after day, she kept runnig in my mind. I can't seem to stop thinking about her. I am not sure if it is still normal. I was fine with it at first but now, I'm burdened. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing because she keep re-entering in my mind. I don't event want to think about her but my mind just automatically does. Am I in love with her this much? Because I think this is not right.

"How are you and Krystal right now?" Vic, my cousin asked me.

"We're okay." I answered with faint smile.

"What's up with that smile? Is there something wrong?" she replied looking worried at me.

"Nah, all is well!" I remarked cheerfully, pretending to be one.

"Oh!For a moment there I thought you guys fought." she spoke, sighing in relief.

Krystal is not yet my girlfriend. Heck we are just friends and I'm madly in love with her. It's okay if our feelings is mutual but unfortunately, it is not! I have been courting her for months now but there was no changes. It made me wonder if I'm doing it right. If I'm making her feel that I love her this much.

"Are you sure that you're okay?You had been spacing out." Vic asked again. I didn't notice that she had been watching me.

"Y-Yeah. I'm just thinking about something." I answered her.

"Okay." she replied and I can still see that she's worried in her eyes.

"Anyway, I'll pay a visit to Krystal later, do you have something you want me to get for you before I go home?"

"Yeah, groceries."she replied with a big smile.

I bought a bouquet of flowers and Krystal's favorite mango cake. When I arrived in their house, Suho is just leaving. I noticed another bouquet of flower in their livingroom when we head inside. I keep my cool, I don't want to feel jealous. I am not that kind of person.

"Thanks for these Am." she said happily when she received my presents.

"You really don't have to thank me." I answered her with a smile.

Her phone suddenly rang which caught of our attention. She excuse herself and answer the call. I waited for like 10 minutes before she came back.

"Am, can we talk on the other day? I have to go somewhere today." she told me.

"O-Okay. I'll get going now."

Disappointed, I left their house. I dropped in the super market to buy what noona had asked me. I went home after right away.

"You're early." Vic said sounding suprised when she saw me.

"She has to go somewhere so I was dismissed early." I answered and scoffed.

"Aish! Okay, let's have dinner outside today to lighten up your mood."she stated.

I curved a smile in response. Later at the evening, we went to this one fancy restaurant and feast in our delicious dinner. I finished my food first before her.

"I want some milk tea." she spoke.

"I'll get you one." I told her.

"Thanks, couz!" she said and  grinned.

I walked my way out of the restaurant to buy some milk tea. My couz only drink this one particular milk tea. When I got back, I stopped on my trance when I spotted Krystal with Suho outside. She seemed surprised when she saw me.

"Amber! I didn't expect to see you here." she spoke.

"Me either." I replied shortly. "See you guys around, I still have to give this to Noona."

With that short conversation, I left. She is not yet my girlfriend so she can still do whatever she wants. I understand that, I have to. But how long should I keep doing this? Do I have to act dumb and blind? She obviously likes Suho. She is my everything but I was nothing to her.I am not a selfish kind of person but I think selfishness exist for people to think of themselves,especially in situation like this.

"Are you okay?"

"This is the third time you ask me that." I said to her and chuckled.

"You are laughing but your eyes is telling me how you really feel." she spoke.

"I already had decided Noona. I'll give up on her."

"I thought you will never come up with that decision." she told me that made me confused. "You've done too much and I think that's enough."