Honestly, I never experienced in my life before, that my brain would be in a total mess, that it was already driving me crazy.. Well, sort of, actually. I mean, I was sure that I had experienced some problems and confusions before, but.. This situation, that I'm currently facing right now was way more different..

I wasn't saying, that Tiffany or Mr. and Mrs. Jung were lying, but knowing that I got Jessica pregnant was just.. It was really hard to believe.

I didn't know what to believe right now, actually and it seems that, they weren't lying, but could you blame me if I was feeling this way? That.. Okay, I now admit.. I'm still doubting it, because for goodness sake, I am a girl. How did I get her pregnant?

Though, I knew that I wouldn't get my answers easily, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted, when I felt the bed dipped beside me, and someone's lips on the side of my face, showering me with kisses all over my face. "Soojung.."

"Hm?" She hummed, still not stopping that when I closed the book that I was reading earlier, then placing it on the nightstand beside me, I felt her body on top of mine, straddling me on my lap, since I was leaning my back against the headboard.

What she's doing to me, I was aware that, I was unresponsive to her actions that I just let her do what she wanted to do with me or ON me, I should say. I was just lying on the bed, doing nothing as her kisses went bolder that I felt her lips on my neck, placing some feathery kisses there, before going down to my collar, chest and onto my abs.

But when I felt her hand slipped inside my shirt, I slightly jerked in surprised, holding both of her wrist gently, because I knew that she was going to lift my shirt off. "W-woah! Soojung.. Easy there.."

And to her.. Well, obviously she was surprised of what I did. She was panting, while staring at me in confusion. "Trish might hear us, baby." I said.

I saw her raised her eyebrows and I guess, I got her surprised because of that. "Baby, Trish is already sleeping. Don't you worry about it okay?"

And before I could even speak, she silenced me with a kiss and even though that I was already responding.. A bit -- my mind wasn't in the right place, and god.. I didn't know what was happening to me. This was very unusual of me, to be honest.

I sighed as she places some light yet eager kisses again on my neck and I wasn't doing anything, like earlier. And when she moved from my neck to my collarbone, I grabbed her face gently, by cupping both of her cheeks then trying her to look at me. I could see that she was displeased of what I did, but hell.. I wasn't in the mood. There I said it, "Soojung, babe.. I'm not feeling it.."

She smirked and I groaned inwardly, because I knew that she's going to keep this up. "Then I'm going to feel it up for you baby. Just sit there." And with that, she continued her assaults to me, but like her, I wasn't going to give up.

"Soojung." I pushed her away slowly, but gently by placing both of my hands on her arms and instantly, I received a whine from her. "Babe, Soojung. I-I mean.. I'm tired.. I'm already exhausted.. I'm not in the mood. Sorry, baby."

"Oh.." Was all that she said. It was obvious that she was surprised by it, because hell.. It was pretty unusual for me to do this, and I'm guessing that this was the first time, that I reject her and I'd understand if she would be disappointed, like what's happening right now.

"Hm.. O-okay.. I.. I understand.. You don't have to say sorry, babe. Its okay." When she said these, I actually noticed the slight sadness in her voice. I know that she was only forcing herself that it was okay, but I knew her for too long that she was trying to hide her disappointment and somehow, I felt guilty about it.

Then seconds later, she removed herself on top of me, and before she could even get away from me, I stepped out from the bed as I grabbed her arm gently, then, slowly spinning her around, so that we were facing each other.

Now that I could see her face fully, I couldn't help but to blame myself from what I did. I knew that it was just a small matter, but the fact that she was just being.. sweet? (I didn't know, actually.) towards me and was rejected for the first, for sure, she would definitely disappointed and surprise at the same time.

Honestly, every time she would first initiate some.. Things like this, I'd always give in. But right now.. It just.. I didn't know. I didn't know what has gotten into me..

"Soojung," I had to paused because she wasn't looking at me, but at the floor instead, and I had to lift her chin up with my index finger. "I'm really sorry, babe. It just.. I was really exhausted because of work and you know that right? I hope you understand."

No. It was partially true, that I'm really exhausted but other than that, factually my energy drained because of the past events that just happened to me. I really felt bad, because I didn't want to lie to her, but in this situation, I think that it was better not to tell her everything.

"I know, honey.." She mumbled, while playing my shirt by fidgeting it with her fingers. "It just that.. I really miss you so much and you were busy since yesterday and today.. I know it was only two days, but Trish and I are missing you a lot. We missed spending time with you." When she said the last phrase, she finally looked at me in the eyes.

Sigh. I really do admit that after I found out everything. I realized it just now, that spending time with my fiancee and my daughter was getting.. Lesser. It just that.. My brain was still in a mess, seriously and I'm still confused.

The corner of my lips, lift up into a small smile. I placed a kiss on and onto her forehead. "Im sorry and I know it is my fault. I promise, I'll make it up to you, guys. I promise.. Really." I said, bringing her closer to me, by placing both of my hands on her hips.

She smiled. The same sweet smile that she usually show to me, and I guess it was genuine now. "Its okay. I just wanted to point out that, at least half some time for us. Spend some time with us, okay baby?" I nodded.

She grinned, hugging me by wrapping both of her arms around my waist as she rested her head in the crook of my neck. Seconds later, I felt her tightened her grip around my neck as she spoke, "Hmm~ this feels good. I really missed you baby."

I sighed in contentment, returning the hug. "Me too, baby. Me too."

              

 

 

<\><\><\><\><\><\>

"I need to go to North Carolina. I've decided that, I'm going there as soon as possible."

Last night, I thought, that I wouldn't get my answers right away, if I wont go there by myself. That was why, I called Tiffany earlier to meet up with me in a cafe to tell her my plans, which is actually happening right now.

"Okay." She said, nodding as she took a sip on her iced coffee. "I guess, I couldn't stop you."

"But.. Tiffany.. I-I am sorry to say this, but what you guys said -- I mean the pregnancy 'thing'.. I just.. I'm sorry, but it was really hard for me to believe it."

I have said this for so many times and now I could truly say that.. Yes, I could not try to believe that I got Jessica pregnant. And yes, the doubt was still there, that was why I'm going to North Carolina to find out by myself.

There was a mere seconds of silence before she start to speak again, "I understand your, Amber. Because that's what I felt when she first told me that she got pregnant by you. I really found it ridiculous that I almost laugh when she told me that, the father or should I say the other mother is you. I mean, I know it was rude, because I'm her best friend but like you, I really didn't believe it and I was actually doubting what she said. At first, it didn't convince me at all, but when we had proof, I realized that even in those impossible things.. It could really happen unexpectedly."

As I was listening to her, I noticed the certainty of her voice that I almost could.. Feel it. "So, I wouldn't blame you, if you're feeling like that. But Amber, you don't need to apologize to me, because I wasn't the one who got pregnant here."

I nodded. I felt dumb, because somehow I understand what she meant. "By the way, Is Krystal knows that you're flying to North Carolina soon?"

Now that she mentioned her name, I suddenly remember the moment before I left at our apartment. I'd thought a simple idea that could make them smile in the morning, so I made a special breakfast for them. As a non-cooker of the house (because, honestly it was always Soojung who cooks for us,) actually, it really went well. My girls were both happy that I made breakfast for them. Remembering their happy faces and my moments with them, I couldn't help but to feel guilty..

"No." I answered. "She do not know, yet but I'll tell her later."

I guess that maybe, I need to tell her but she must not know that I'm going to North Carolina, instead..

 

 

And I wonder what would happen.. exactly to me if I ever see them?

 

 

 

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A/N: hello guys! its me again! yes.. you're thinking it right.. jessber's reunion is getting nearer.. and im also getting excited.. lols..

 

 

 and by the way i just made a tumblr about amber liu. you can actually send your thoughts about her and fx members. the blog was currently composed of some questions from people out there.. i just made the blog afew days ago so all you can see there are still just reblog photos from another blogs and yeah of course questions.. you can check it out by going to this address amberliusubtext.tumblr.com and you can send all of your questions and thoughts by going to this adress --> amberliusubtext.tumblr.com ..  i really hope you could help me spread the blog and for those who have tumblr please follow me. :)