I'm back with chapter 19 . it's like a gift for you guys who waited for me to update. it' took a long time coz i was busy wiht my school stuff. sorry abt that. Hope u guys enjoy it ^^
Here is the chapter >>>>>>

Changhyun's POV
I wake up with a sharp pain all over my body especially my lower part .i even have to do water transfer. there is needle in my arms.that made me know that all thing happened last night is not a dream. And i'm now is so dirty to be live here and i dont have the right to face anybody. Just dont come near me or touch me u'll get dirty just like me. I slowly open my eyes and there is Channie Hyung sleeping on Byunghun Hyung's lap on the sofa, Minhee Omma is holding my hand now. Niel Hyung is sleeping in sitting position on another chair. Jonghyun and Kimbap Appa is no where to be found. I dont have any strenght to do anything so i just close my eyes and force myself to sleep again

Jonghyun's POV
I'm sitting on the floor while hugging my knees outside the room where Changhyun is resting now. After brought he to the room, place him on the bed i couldnt look at him anymore. Since that time i even cant come inside the room . He is in this condition is all because of me. Why did i leave him there alone? I could bring him with me to buy ice-cream . Why i needed to leave him there alone? I keep asking myself that question countless time . My tears stream down my cheeks. The words that he said last night keep repeating in my head "leave me alone . i dont wanna live anymore. dont touch me your hands will get dirty . just leave me alone" i dont know how long did i sit there untill i heard the loud sound come out from the room . I wanna come in but i cant
"GO AWAY ~ JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU . I DONT WANNA SEE  YOUR FACE. LEAVE JUST LEAVE"
"Calm down Changhyunie " i heard Minhee Aunt said
"GET OUT ALL OF U~~~ GET OUT NOW " Changhyun shout again and i heard the sound of something broken
"Changhyun ya~ calm down . We will go we will go . Please dont hurt yourself and accept those treatment ok?" I heard Channie Hyung said while crying
"GET OUT . I DONT NEED YOUR CARE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT WANNA LIVE ANYMORE. IM SO DIRTY NOW" he is crying . I wanna run to him . My tears streaming down my cheeks now. And the door open , Channie Hyung show up with Byunghun Hyung is now caring him . He cant walk by himself after this shock . After them is Aunt Minhee and Niel Hyung . Aunt Minhee cant even cry anymore. Her tears just come out by its own with no sound escape from her . They look at me with sad eyes. What should i do now?
"Wait for me i'll come back after bring Channie to our room" Byunghun Hyung said. I felt on the floor right after that. What should i do now ?. I wanna run to him now. Hug him tight and tell him " everything gonna be all right. I'm here now. I'm here" but i cant . The guilty feeling keep growing inside of me. It's all my fault. I stay there everyday without eat nor sleep . Channie Hyung and Aunt Minhee tried to come in the room and comfort Changhyun alot of time but each time he will shout and cry then throw everything at them to make them stay away from him .
"IF U COME IN AGAIN I'L KILL MYSELF . BELIEVED ME I'LL DO IT . SO GET OUT" Channie Hyung come out with his face is covering with his tears and Byunghun Hyung need to rush to him immediately to keep him from falling on the around
"Can anybody.... help ....my poor Changhyun? He didnt.... eat anything for almost 4 days.... now and we .....cant even come near him. Jonghyun ~Jonghyun help me !! Help him. I beggi....ng you . There is only u left who didnt .....come in yet. Even my Appa cant comfort..... him. Please help him !! I begging.... you" he said while holding tight to my arms and crying
"Channie~ come on give him some more time. We will come back later ok? Stand up now. Can u walk?" Byunghun Hyung try to comfort his wife and he didnt forget to comfort me by pat on my shoulder before leave. I cant stand on my own feet anymore
"Stand up ,son" there is somebody pat my shoulder . It's Daddy
"Come with me" he help me to stand up
"Jonghyun ya~ do you thing Changhyun is dirty like he said?"
"No ofc not. He is the most.... beautiful and sweet.... person in this world and....."
"And what ,son? U need to be brace at time like this. Changhyun is losing all his hope now. He refuse to meet anyone even it's Channie. So there is only u left . U need to come in to the room and comfort him . Can u do that?"
"I...i...cant . I cant even come inside the room. I cant face him ... I cant.." My tear start falling again . I'm useless person . i even couldnt protect my treasure person
"U can do it . Just give it a try. I know you love him and so do him so for your love just try one time ok? U dont wanna see Changhyun hurt himself right?  " Daddy said
"I....i..."
"Be brace son. U can do it. I'll come in with u and then you will do what u think u should do after you see him ok?" I nooded slightly
The door is now open and Changhyun start screaming and throwing things. The room is now like a mess with pieced of broken glass on the floor. he just throw a vase that why everything is like that. the room is all dark there is just a small light from outside

"GET OUT. YOU WANNA ME TO DIE THIS MUCH. I SAID GET OUT LEAVE ME ALONE DONT COME NEAR ME. I DONT WANNA EAT I EVEN DONT WANNA LIVE ANYMORE SO WHY SHOULD I NEED TO EAT . JUST GET...." He stop when he saw me . my Changhyun is sitting in the conner and his face is covering with tears. he is look terrible now with pale face and his eyes are sollwen. he surly cried alot. then he immadiately stand up and tried to run away but he is too weak now so he felt into the around

"Go away.. Why u ...come here? Dont come near me" he said while crying and try to stand up to run again
"I'm begging... you just.... dont ...come near me . Please leave .....me alone. Why ....did you guys .....save me ? Just let ....me die in .....that alley . Why u guys .....had to ....save me??" He said while crying
"Come to him son he need you" Daddy pushed me then leave. I walk slowly to Changhyun and he tried to stay away from me just by go backward.
"Dont come any closer i'll kill myself if u do that. I'll surly do it . Stay away from me " he said while holding a piece of broken glass
"Give it to me. Dont do that to me Changhyun ya~ i'm sorry everything is my fault. I'm sorry . Give it to me ok?" I saw blood come from his hand . He hold it too tight. I rush to him and try to take that thing out of his hand and cover it with my handkerchief.  He is crying alot now and try to push me away
"Dont touch ....me i'm so dirty now . Let me was.....h myself first.... let me do that . I did it alot of time these day ....but i 'm ....still so so ....dirty now...." with that he rush to bathroom, take off his shirt and start using brush to "clean" himself. He keep rubbing his skin untill it's blooding .
"Stop it ~ dont do that . U are all clean now . U are all clean now"
"No i'm...... so dirty . How can...... i clean all of it ? Tell me how ....can i clean .....all of it?" He said while crying and try to clean himself with that brush again. At that time i saw alot of scars on his body my heart is tearing into thousand pieces. Why i come in too late? Why i needed to wait this long to come in and let u suffer alone like this. there are tears on my face now.
"Stop it . It's enough . I'm sorry . I'm here now. Just dont be like that. Stay with me ok?   You are the most wonderful thing in this world. I need you and i love you . Can you hear it. I love you Changhyun ya~ i love you" i said while holding him tight in my arms.

Changhyun's POV
He said he love me even i'm in this situation. Even i'm this dirty he still love me . And he is holding me tight in his arms. It's so warm here. I hug him back and feel like i can rest now . No need to try to be strong anymore, no need to cry alone anymore, no need to keep all my tears inside and cry alone anymore. I start crying out loud . Hold on him and cry my lung out.
" i wa....s really.... scarried? Where..... were you?? Why .....did u leave.... me there alone?" I said while crying and holding tight on him
"I know ....i know.... It's ....all my fault i'm sorry , i'm so so sorry...shhh... Dont cry baby . I'm here now . I wont leave you anymore. I wont never ....leave you alone like that . I'm.... so sorry" he said why patting my head
"It's all ....your fault" i said while punch at his chest
"Ok hit me as much as you can . I'm a bad guy" he said with shaking voice then hugging me tighter
"Do u still feel dirty?" He asked while carring me back to the bed
"Yes~" i reply and my tears come out again
"Shhhh~ i'll clean it all for you but in other way. Not the same way as you"
After saying he start kissing my forehead, my eyes, my nose, cheeks and with my lips he stay there alittle longer then move to my neck and everywhere which have scars that i made these pass few day. The feeling is really different from the other day . It feel good . Everywhere which he come feel hot and the burden on my heart seem like lost abit after he did it. Then he end his work with the small peck on my lips
"Are u feel clean now? I'll keep doing it eveyday untill you addicted of it" he said with his forehead is now sticking with mine
"One more thing , i wanna here that words"
"What words?"
"8 letters, 3 world and one meaning. You know what i mean right?"
"I dont know"
"Come on . Dont be like that . At least say it one time " just by look at his eyes i can tell that he really wait for it a long time now
"I love you" i whisper in his ears
"Hello ~ i cant hear it"
"I LOVE YOU . Is it ok ?"
"What a lovely boy. I wont never get bored of it" he smile at me and so do i
"Oho~ look at them . What are you guys doing? you are not saying "GET OUT LEAVE ME ALONE" anymore huh?" Niel Hyung come in with all the family

"come on dont teas him Niel ya~ you are feeling ok right ?" Omma said

"yeah~ i'm feeling alittle bit better now"
"I know u can do it,son" appa said then smile at Jonghyun
"Welcome back to the world " Niel Hyung said again
"Are you ok now? I was really worried abt u" Channie Hyung run to me . His face is pale and he need Byunghun Hyung help so he can stand
"I'm ok now. Sorry i made u worried"
"It's ok . U are ok is the best thing for me"

"now you can eat right ? you need to eat coz you rChannie Hyung also refused to eat since u did that. please eat something this boy here can eat some too" Byunghun Hyung said while holding his wife tight in his arms

"ok i'll eat sorry for made you guys worried abt me"
"It's ok my son . now u are fine . it's the greatest thign ever. anyway Welcome back son" Omma come to me with a big hug
"Can i ask something?" Niel Hyung said
"It's ok Hyung . U can ask what u want"
"Why u are haft nake now? Did u guy do something?"
"Ofc not . Are you crazy?" Me and Jonghyun said in union made everybody laugh . Jonghyun take off his jacket and cover my body
"I think we should have an other wedding " Byunghun Hyung said and it's seem like everyonw agree with that. Niel Hyung is clapping now. he is always a funny person .
"Everything is fine now. So go back to your room . Prepare thing then we will eat dinner together. And Niel i think u should order another room now or u will have to sleep outside tonight" my Appa said
"Oh~ come on. Why it's always me?" Niel Hyung said while close the door leave the two of us alone
"Ok what do you wanna wear for tonight Mrs.Choi" Jonghyun said
"Who is Mrs.Choi?"
"Ofc it's you. I'm Choi Jonghuyn so u'll be my Mrs.Choi " he laugh
"Who allowed to be yours huh? and why i'm a girl in this relationship? "
"cos you are to cute to be a boy in this relationship and one more thing even u dont allowed it i'll force u too do be mine" he said while pulling me close to him and kiss me pasionately. It's so sweet... It's hard to move on but i still have to move on for the sake of me and Jonghyun....

*END CHAPTER 19*

Hey guys ~ is this chapter ok?? Tell me your opinion please!! I'm craving for that
Like always please forgive all my mistake in here^^ English is not my first language ^^
Kamsahamnida* bow*
Bye for now ^^