“I have not broken your heart- you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine…”

-Emily Bronte- 

I wasn’t sure the decision that I had made several days ago was right. But as I stared across the callous crowd in a hectic life night in the Strip, hands hanging and body swaying in the blasting music; I just want to stop thinking.

After the rough and heartwrenching night at the house, I packed a few of my belongings and crashed onto Jiyong’s penthouse. On a second thought, maybe I’m still a kid inside- sulking and running away from home. I’m just like a bratty teenager; running away from the problem rather than facing your own demon and crush it like a grown man.

I’ve had enough.

I’ve stayed there for a couple of days, stopped going to the office and totally implying the couch potato routine- TV, internet and loads of food.

I wondered when they will kick me out. Maybe it’s about time.

I waved the bartender, ordered Tequila and sat on the stool. Tonight seemed a little crowded in the club- too many young couple who doesn’t know how life really is. It’s not that I know so much but all I can say is, been there done that. All the flirting, a fling and the one night stand thing. I’ve done every dirty things and I’m not so proud of that. Life is so much harder than inside the fantasy world I’ve created where instead of unicorns and rainbows, the real world contains the dark side of it. Unicorns were harsher and love to step on a weaker horse and rainbows don’t have a lot of bright colours, just black and grey.

I emptied my drink as soon as it set on my table. Alcohol has been my best friend for days. But the thing is, alcohol only make you forget when it in your system, and when you stop consuming, every gory details will swarmed your mind like a hive of bees.

I lifted my eyes to the glass-walled VIP room upstairs where Jiyong hyung and Daesung hyung have been since we came. Through the wall I saw them chatting lively, faces beaming like a sport light in a stadium and sometimes they laughed wholeheartedly.

Get a room hyung, I groaned.

Whenever I’m with them, I felt like I wanted to vomit rainbows. I felt like my heart had twisted into knot watching them doing lovey-dovey thingy and hands curling act. But I can’t go anywhere. Hotel was too boring and lonely. And all of my friends were either married or stuck with their own girlfriends. It left me with an only option of the famous duo who was creeping the hell out of me.

Love is a funny thing.

And love comes when we least expected-let it the least expected person or time or place. Love comes when we need it the most. I’m just glad they found each other. No one ever stand self- centred Jiyong other that the kind-hearted Daesung. All of us were totally surprised when they announced the big news after Seunghyun hyung came back from his honeymoon. Well, no one ever suspected that they were an item. And after that, nobody ever care about them. It’s their life and they rules. We’re just their friend and for the better or worse we’ll remains as their strong supporters. Except Jiyong’s father who still hope that his son will come back to the right route and start to give him grandchildren.

A man can hope.

I stared at my empty glass and my mind wandered to home again. How is Ha Yi? Is she missing me? Because right now all that I could think of is just my baby.

What about her mother?

Scoffing, I raised my arms, asking for a refill. Who cares about her? Said my mind and I could feel a knock in my heart. You did, idiot.

I took my drink and turned my gaze to the overfilled dance floor. Suddenly the crowd moved aside, creating a hole in the centre where a girl emerged. She looked like most of the girls in here- legging and strapless red dress. She walked gracefully to the bartender and absentmindedly, my gaze followed her every move.

“I just caught you staring,” she whispered.

I chuckled. “I’m not staring, I’m just looking,” I retorted.

She smiled at me. “What’s the difference?” she asked with a chiming giggle.