CHANYEOL

Nothing much has changed.

Just that now her hair is jet black and now she gives off a very motherly aura. Aside from those she still looks the same. The same beautiful smile, the same gorgeous and captivating eyes, the same perfectly sculpted nose, the same milky white skin, the same kissable lips. The same woman that I love.

The same Kim Taeyeon.

“haraboji sure is stubborn, huh? I already told him that I don’t want Cedy to become an idol, yet, here you are, sent by him to scout Cedy” Taeyeon said with a chuckle as she shook her head lightly.

“haraboji?” I asked quite puzzled by the sudden mention of haraboji.

She nodded her head and explained, “He kept on bugging me for some time now. Telling me to go back to Korea and allow Cedy to be a trainee under either SM or JYP. But, I don’t think Cedy is ready for such kind of thing. He is too young and he still has so much to experience" she explained. I was just staring at her and was caught off guard when suddenly she turned to my direction and asked, “Don’t you think so?”.

I was speechless for I still cannot believe that she is beside me, sitting beside, smiling at me.

“Yeol?” she asked and made me snap out of my reverie. “ah? Yeah, I think he’s too young too” I blurted out. She smiled at me and I smiled back. We stared at each other for awhile before she looked away and stared at Cedy who was playing a few meters away from us with Yoochun hyung.

Park Yoochun, is actually a second degree cousin of mine. It has been awhile since we’ve seen each other since he migrated to New York a few years prior to the death of my parents. But before, we were quite close to each other. I look up to him like he was my older brother. Now, it is quite unnerving that we finally saw each other again in this kind of circumstances, him with my ex-wife whom I still love.

I stared at her once more and I felt the butterflies in my stomach.

I felt the rapid beating of my heart.

I felt the need to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her that I miss her so much and that even until now my feelings hasn’t changed, that even until now I still love her and would probably only love her until the day I die.

And then our eyes met. She caught me staring at her. And it felt like I was some teenage boy who was just noticed by his long time crush. I felt nervous and shy.

“what is it?” she asked and tilted her head to the side with an adorable smile like she was some kid.

I bit my lip as I formulated an excuse.

“I was just wondering, you still keep in touch with my grandfathers?” I asked.

“well, yeah. I am pretty much still in touch with the others. Haraboji and Kris helped me out in coming here. Then, Tiffany and Jessica helped me out in establishing my school. Sehun took care of me and Cedy by recommending a friend of his to be Cedy’s physician and mine. Sojin and Chansung comes often while Yoona and Kyuhyun comes whenever they had business to take care of here”

“so, I was the only one who wasn’t there” I whispered to myself.

“what did you say?” Taeyeon asked. I shook my head, “it’s nothing” I denied. Taeyeon’s eyebrow creased but I just smiled at her and she nodded.

Silence filled us again. I know I told her that I wanted to talk to her, but right now I don’t know what to talk about.

Should I ask her about Yzak? Am I his father? Or is It Yoochun? It is probably Yoochun hyung, right? Because if he was mine, he would’ve been five by now. And Taeyeon did say that she had a miscarriage. But, doesn't it seem like she replaced me too fast if that's the case?

Or should I ask her about Yoochun? What is he to her? Did Yoochun replace me in her heart? Are they in a relationship or something?

How about asking her how she’s been? Has she forgiven me already? Does she still think about me? Do we still have a chance?

“I think there is something that you want to talk about?” Taeyeon’s melodious voice brought me back to reality as she caught me staring at her again.

“h-h-ha?”

“if you’re too shy to ask then, I’ll just ask first then” she trailed off.

“how’ve you been? I haven’t heard from you for five years now. Though I can see that you’ve taken care of yourself well. You look stunningly handsome with your natural hair color” she said and I can’t help but blush at her compliment.

Oh yeah, my hair is black for five years now. Because Taeyeon’s favorite hair color of mine is black and I thought that we would never know when we’re going to meet again so I had it this way for some time now just in case we accidentally meet.

“I’ve been doing lots of charity works in the Philippines. And thank you for the compliment, Taeyeon. You look beautiful in your jet black hair too” I replied. She smiled at me and my heart fluttered even more. “so… uhmm… how about you Taeyeon… how’ve you been?” I asked as I stopped myself from launching myself to her and hold her close.

“I’ve been good. Been busy raising Cedy. It was a bit difficult but our friends were there to support me so, I somehow managed” she answered with a smile.

“I’m sorry” I blurted out after another silence enveloped us. Her eyebrow raised, questioning my sudden apology. I heaved a sigh before adding, “sorry for putting you in a tough situation, messing up your peaceful life like that. I am so sorry, Taeyeon”

“Chanyeol…”

“sorry for not being around when you needed someone. But, you probably didn’t need me that time too. You probably don’t want to see me those times”

“well, I needed time away from you. But, you don’t need to continue apologizing to me. I beg you, stop apologizing already. I’ve forgiven you since a long time ago” she smiled at me and caressed my hand.

“thank you for that Taeyeon. your forgiveness means a lot to me” I confessed and she nodded her head. She then looked away and watched over Cedy from afar. I followed what she did and observed Cedy while he played. He had a stunning resemblance to Taeyeon. but, I see no trace of Yoochun hyung.

“he looks a lot like you” I remarked. Taeyeon shook her head and said, “nope, he definitely looks a lot like his father. if you ask the people and our friends, they’ll tell you the same so I recommend that you shouldn’t argue with me any further”

I shrugged and nodded my head in surrender.

“and Chanyeol…” Taeyeon called out without looking at me.

“yeah?” I asked. She bit her lip and started fiddling with her fingers. She didn’t look at me, she had her head hung low. She heaved a sigh before looking up to me.

“you’re definitely wrong in thinking that I didn’t need you that time” she smiled shyly as she shook her head. I raised my eyebrow bewildered and baffled by what she said. And somehow, I managed to ask “what do you mean?”

Taeyeon was about to answer when suddenly Cedy came running to Taeyeon’s embrace. “Omma!”

Taeyeon kissed the crown of Cedy’s head before pulling Cedy off her to look and study her son’s face as she cupped his face. “what is it my baby? Are you and daddy Yoochun done playing?” she asked.

I find the view very beautiful.

I think if Cedy’s my son I would’ve cried looking at them right now.

“Taeng, it’s about time for the mass. Cedy’s playing the piano for the choir today, remember?” Yoochun hyung reminded. Taeyeon’s eyes doubled in size before she placed her hand to and exclaimed, “omo! I almost forgot. We better get going then”

Taeyeon quickly stood up and grabbed Cedy’s hand. But the little boy squirmed out of his mother’s hand and grabbed my hand. I was stunned by the sudden action. And I can’t fully explain what I felt. My heart’s pace accelerated and a sudden surge of happiness washed over me.

“ahjussi! Come with us! You’re catholic, right?” he suddenly invited me. I nodded my head, “yes, I am. But, is that okay with your omma and appa?” I asked. Cedy creased his forehead, seemingly confused with what I said. What? Did I say something wrong? Then he looked up to his mom. I looked at Taeyeon too who was biting her lips as of the moment.

“Tae—“  I was about to decline Cedy’s offer. Seeing Taeyeon acting that way made me feel like not wanting to tag along because I might disturb their family bonding. But deep down inside, I really want to tag along. But, Cedy was able to cut me off as his voice was louder than mine.

“Omma, please let ahjussi tag along. I really want him to play the piano with me. Please, dad? Please, please?” Cedy pleaded both of them.

“of course! Why not? I know very well that Chanyeol can play the piano well and I really want to know how both of your music will sound together” Yoochun hyung said before he turned to Taeyeon and smiled meaningfully to Taeyeon. “right Taeyeon?” Yoochun hyung asked.

“yeah, why not? I don’t think I can resist my baby boy after all” Taeyeon answered as she pinched her son’s cheeks.

“thanks dad! Thanks omma!” he chided before turning back to me and grabbed my hand again. “let’s go, ahjussi! I don’t want to be late” Cedy said and pulled me.

He was holding me by his left hand and Taeyeon with his right hand. And realizing how we’re walking together, I can’t help but blush and feel giddy all of a sudden. But I noticed that Taeyeon was closer to the road side so I let go Cedy’s hand for awhile and moved to Taeyeon’s side.

“let’s switch sides. It’s dangerous” I told her and she nodded her head before proceeding to Cedy’s left side.

I don’t know if my eyes were playing tricks on me but I think I really did saw a teasing smile on Yoochun hyung’s face. He was walking ahead of us. Was he teasing me and Taeyeon awhile ago? But, why would he tease us? I mean, aren’t they having a thing between the two of them?

“ahjussi” Cedy called out as he walked merrily between me and Taeyeon.

“yep?”

“can you play the guitar too?” he suddenly asked.

“yep, I can. You?”

“a little, omma tried to teach me once but I guess the guitar isn’t my thing. But I can play the drums. And now I am interested in playing the violin. Do you know how to play the violin ahjussi?”

“yep, do you want me to teach you? I can teach you the basics” I offered and he smiled brightly from ear to ear.

“really?!” he squealed and I nodded my head. “but, that is if your mom allows you to do so. and if your dad too” I said asking for the consent of his parents. And again, a quite confused expression was painted on Cedy’s face. What? Did I say something wrong again?

“omma…” Cedy started to plead. Taeyeon looked down to her son and smiled apologetically, “that would be great Cedy. But Chanyeol is just on vacation here. He won’t stay long”

Oh right. I am just on vacation.

“but I can learn the basics from him. Please, omma?” he pleaded and I definitely think that Taeyeon will give in to his plea. I mean look at this kid, his eyes, his smile. Who can resist that? I know I can’t. He’s really charming and irresistible.

Taeyeon heaved a sigh and then she looked at me. I sheepishly smiled at her before she finally gave in to Cedy and said, “ok, I give in”

Cedy jumped for joy, purely excited and delighted by his mother’s surrender to his plea.

The church wasn’t that far. It took us about fifteen minutes to get to church. It seems that everyone knows Cedy because when he went in he started greeting everyone and beamed his toothy smile to them. Taeyeon did the same and started talking to some old ladies. I, on the other hand followed Cedy towards the piano. He introduced me to other kids and to their choir director.

“ahjussi, this is the first time that I’m playing the piano in church and I really am nervous. Do you think I can do it?” he nervously asked as he settled on the piano chair. I sat beside him and placed my arm on his shoulder. He looked up to me and I beamed at him.

“of course you can. You are doing this for the Lord and besides you are a really talented boy Cedy. And not to mention I’ll be with you. so, you don’t need to worry, okay?” I reassured him and earned an eager nod.

We went over the songs that he would play for the mass. It was children’s mass so the choir was composed of little kids and Cedy was their pianist.

I looked over to where Taeyeon was seated and noticed that she was all alone. Where is Yoochun hyung?

“where is Yoochun?” I absentmindedly mumbled loud enough for Cedy to hear.

“ohw, he wouldn’t be attending this mass. He has somewhere else to go. But, he’ll be back before the mass ends to send me and omma home” Cedy answered.

I was about to ask for more information from Cedy but I was cut off when the bell started to ring. And so the mass started. Cedy and I played the piano together and it felt nice. It was like playing the piano with Taeyeon. and it sort of felt like playing with a mini-me.

True to what Cedy said, Yoochun hyung did came after the mass ended. Cedric invited me to dinner but I had to decline because Kris was