~*~

Chapter IV

Starting his Infinity

10월 28일

“Myungsoo!  Smile!”

Myungsoo batted Dongwoo’s phone camera away as he attempted to take a picture of him.  “Go away.”

Dongwoo pouted.  “Please?”

Woohyun jumped onto his back and held up two fingers.  “Smile, Myungsoo!”

Myungsoo smiled reluctantly as Dongwoo took the picture.  “This is going on Twitter,” Dongwoo announced as he added a caption to the picture.

“Let me see!” Myungsoo demanded.  He grabbed Dongwoo’s phone out of his hands.

In the picture, Myungsoo very unamused as Woohyun squished one of his cheeks.

“Waiting backstage for our stage and taking pictures.  Myungsoo, smile! Let’s release Infinite’s Bravo Viewtiful together.  Remember to smile well, Myungsoo!”

Myungsoo scowled and tossed the phone back at him.  Dongwoo and Woohyun just laughed at him.  “Yah, Lee Sungjong!”  Woohyun yelled at Sungjong who was just passing.  “Smile for our poor visual here!”

Sungjong smiled, not in the way that they told him to, but just genuinely.  “Let’s do well today, hyung,”  he said to all of them.  “It’s nearly time to get backstage.  Let’s go.”

~*~

The lights flashed on and they were live.

They were on live stage for their comeback stage, they usually did sing live.  Sometimes they at lipsyncing, but Woohyun said that was one of their charms.  Every single performance, they couldn’t mess up, but this one, there was no way that they would let one mistake ruin their soon to be perfect comeback.

Myungsoo lifted his eyes up into the audience.  The cheers from the Inspirits, gave him the energy he was feeling like he was lacking at that moment.  He knew that they would always give him energy and something to keep on going for.

And he would need it.

The music pumped through his veins along with the rush of adrenaline.  They had practiced to control the adrenaline rush, before their training, Sungyeol, out of nervousness, would rush ahead of the music while Woohyun would constantly stumble and make mistakes.  After their training, they could all dance as flawlessly anywhere they went.  

Somewhere on the road,

I met you.

Somewhere on the road,

I saw your heart

 Somewhere on the road,

We fell in love.

Infinite was always famous for their syncronization and even though it took a lot of pain and patience to get their dances up to that level, all of them were proud of the work that they acomplished. 

Myungsoo moved his body in the same time as the others, his feet falling easily into the moves.  As he started the next part, a sudden wave of dizziness over took him.  He quickly shook it off as Sungyeol and Sungjong started their part.

Somewhere down the road,

Somewhere on the road,

Somewhere, somehow,

You left me behind.

The lights started to spin around him, the loud music and cheers blurring in his ears.  The Inspirits watching them held up their lights, forming a beautiful flowing sea of gold.  The sea swarmed in front of his eyes, causing him to stumble sideways. 

Still, he kept on moving, with one thought in mind; he couldn’t fail Infinite.

Myungsoo’s body moved on its own, muscle memory kicking in from their many hours of practice.  His vision blurred for a few seconds as Woohyun stepped across Myungsoo’s view to get to his spot in the choregraphy. 

I want to be back with you.

I’ll run all night to see you.

I would go through everything,

All for you.

He was feeling so tired, even though he had only been dancing for less than a minute, he felt more tired than after a 16 hour practice.  Stumbling a little bit, Myungsoo stepped up as his part started, Sungyeol grinned at him as he passed him. Myungsoo tried to smile back but everything was blurring as he tried to. Forgetting to smile, he turned his focus on singing.

“Some day on the road-”  His voice broke as his vision blurred into two, causing him to stumble.  

Sungyeol was watching him strangely, but Myungsoo took a deep breath to start again.

“You will disappear from me...” His voice trailed off as another wave of dizziness hit him and this time, he needed to stop and collect himself.

Everyone was looking at him, Infinite, the Inspirits, the whole country and maybe the whole world too.  His legs nearly buckled underneath him as he barely managed to keep upright.  The world became fuzzy, his body feeling heavy and his lungs felt stuffy, making it hard to breathe.  

Swallowing hard, Myungsoo took a breath and opened his mouth to continue, but no sound came out.

Sounds pounded on his ears; his heartbeat, the music, the cheers.  The lights swirled in front of him, turning into a meaningless swirl before dying slowly into darkness, only leaving little stars behind.

The world spun around him and his eyes rolled up into his head.  

His microphone fell down to the ground with a dull clatter, hitting the ground and rolling away just as Myungsoo fell down to the ground beside it. 

He felt so weightless, like he was flying… but he was falling…

Myungsoo didn’t feel the impact. 

~*~

“Some day on the road-”  Sungyeol looked over at Myungsoo as his voice broke.  Myungsoo caught his gaze and started to renew his efforts in singing.  “You will disappear from me…”  All the members of Infinite were glancing over their shoulders, concerned at the weakness in Myungsoo’s voice and legs. 

Ignoring the other’s stares, Myungsoo took a step forward to continue the dance, but his legs suddenly gave away from underneath him.  Sungyeol felt like he saw it in slow motion, Myungsoo’s eyes rolled upwards into his head and he was falling to the ground. 

All of them had fainted out of lack of sleep multiple times, mostly back in their trainee days and days before their debut.  They knew what it was like for one of them to faint, but this time, it felt different.  Sungyeol knew in his gut that Myungsoo wasn’t fainting out of fatigue or stress, he didn’t know why he was like this, and his name slipping from his lips before he could stop it. 

“MYUNGSOO!”  Each of them rushed to catch Myungsoo before he hit the ground, but they were too late as Myungsoo hit the ground with a lifeless thump.

Everything was loud.  The fans were screaming and crying, the managers were ordering them around in their earpieces, Sunggyu was yelling for someone to kill the lights, the other five members calling out for Myungsoo, hoping that he would answer, but Myungsoo was silent, absolutely still.

Sungjong reached Myungsoo first, rolling him onto his back, shaking him frantically.  “Hyung!  Wake up!  Wake up now!  Hyung!”

Sungyeol fell down to his knees beside him and put his fingers against Myungsoo’s clammy skin, feeling for a pulse.

The lights in the studio went off and everything was plunged into darkness, the only thing that remained a constant was Myungsoo’s weak pulse against his fingers.

“Sungyeol!” Sungyeol jumped as Sunggyu yelled in his ear.  Sungyeol could make out the outline of Sunggyu from the glow sticks that and phones that the audience had.  Sunggyu looked terrified, but still, his voice held the same comforting authority in it. “Get him backstage.”

Sungyeol nodded and scooped Myungsoo up in his arms and rushed off stage with the others, well aware of the screaming and crying crowd of fans behind them.

Myungsoo felt so fragile in his arm as they got out of the prying eyes of the audience and landed in the slightly quieter backstage, but still, there was all of the idols, managers, stage crew and other staff backstage.  Sungyeol had never seen news fly so fast, not even during high school, and by the time that Sungyeol set Myungsoo down on a table that someone had hastily cleared off for them, everyone backstage knew. 

Some medics that were always on stand by, but never needed until now, pushed them away from Myungsoo and started to check him over.

Sungyeol watched them work on Myungsoo, nearly unaware of Sungjong squeezing his shoulder so tightly that it hurt or of Dongwoo crying loudly, Hoya handing him a tissue.  A stunned Sunggyu was trying to comfort Woohyun, his arm around his shoulders. 

“Did he seem ill at all in the past week?” one of the medics asked the six of them plus their managers.  “Anything at all?”

“We’ve been preparing pretty hard in the past few weeks,” Sunggyu said.  “But he hasn’t complained at all and he was the same as he always was.”

“Has he had a history of illnesses?  Does his family history have any?”

Sungyeol shook his head, nearly automatically.  In Infinite, he was the one that always fell ill.  Sunggyu once joked that Sungyeol was sick 360 days out of the 365 in a year.  He was the one who was supposed to be sick, not Myungsoo. 

“He caught pneumonia a little while ago,” Sungjong said, his voice uncertain and scared.  “He was okay after that though.  I thought he was okay, what if he wasn’t?  Did we miss something?  If we had done something, would he be okay right now?”

Sungyeol gently hushed Sungjong as the medics continued to ask the others questions.  “It’s okay.  It’s not our fault.”

Sungjong nodded into his shoulder trying to sniffle his sobs.  Sungyeol closed his eyes, hot tears pricking at his eyes. 

As he opened them, the medics were pushing them away to make way for new medics, pushing along a gunery.

“How are we going to get him out?” Sunggyu asked the medics worriedly.  “There’s going to be fans out there.”

“It doesn’t matter how that happens, we need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible,” the medic replied grimly.  “He’s not looking so good.”

Sungyeol watched as the medics worked steadily to try to get Myungsoo to the hospital.  As one of them set up a IV line in his hand, the other checked his pulse and talked into the walkietalkie on his uniform, informing the hospital about Myungsoo’s conditon.  The medics moved with acurracy as they lifted Myungsoo up onto the stretcher.

As the other two medics were securing Myungsoo to the stretcher, the last medic turned to them.  “We’re heading the Seoul University Hospital,” he said quickly.  “Contact his family to meet us there.”

As the other medics started to wheel the stretcher away, he smiled at the six of them standing there, still stunned.  “Don’t worry,” he said.  “He’ll be fine, we’ll take care of him.”

Infinite stood together, one member short, as they watched as Myungsoo raced away to the hospital.

~*~

“Hyun!”

Woohyun turned around as he heard his name being called.  He smiled as he saw Kibum and Jonghyun of Shinee running up to catch up with him.  “Hey,” he said, trying to keep his voice light, but he knew he failed miserably.

Kibum hugged him tightly.  “Don’t worry,” he whispered.  “It’s going to be okay… or at least I think so.”

Woohyun laughed shakily.  “I don’t want a ‘I think so,’” he whispered.  “I want to know now.”

Kibum laughed and shook his head.  “It’s Myungsoo, isn’t?” he said.  “He’s always going to be okay.”

Woohyun smiled and nodded.  “But what if it isn’t?” he asked.  “I mean… you know…”

Kibum nodded slowly, the smile on his lips never fading but the light in his eyes darkening.  “It’s Myungsoo…” he finished for him.

~*~

Dongwoo didn’t know why he was crying.

Dongwoo and Hoya headed to the change room to change from their stage clothes.  Dongwoo struggled to take off his shirt, his vision swarming with tears.

“Dongwoo.”  Hoya placed his hands on Dongwoo’s shoulders to stop his frantic movements and helped him out of the shirt.  He pulled Dongwoo out of his shirt and hugged him close.  “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay.”

“I’m just so scared,” Dongwoo whispered.  “It’s… Myungsoo.  You know?”

Hoya nodded.  “Yeah, I know… it’s Myungsoo…”

~*~

Sungjong zipped up his jacket, checking his reflection again.  His eyes were red and blotchy and there were pink streaks running down his cheeks from the tears.  Sungjong splashed his face with cold water again, hoping to get rid of some of the red in his eyes.

“Ready to go?” Sunggyu asked.  Sunggyu looked tired and worried, Sungjong knew that they all looked that way.  Sungjong remembered from the schedule that they had been given at the beginning of the day that after their recording, there was supposed to be some behind the stage shooting for the music chanel, but that was the farthest thing in their minds right then and Sungjong knew that they would be excused from shooting that day, the stage that they had recorded would probably never air, maybe after this was all sorted out and Myungsoo recovered from his ‘fainting’ spell, the footage would air, but Sungjong knew that he didn’t faint, it was something worse.

Sungjong whipped off his face and placed the towel on the counter.  “I’m ready,” he whispered, not feeling ready at all.  Sunggyu’s eyes told Sungjong that he knew that he wasn’t ready and pulled him close, a guesture that Sunggyu usually didn’t share with others, but for once, doing it for Sungjong.

“Smile, Sungjong,” Sunggyu said as he drew back and traced his fingers down his cheek.   “The crowds out there need your smile.”

Sungjong smiled softly.  “Okay.”

Sunggyu grinned back, but it didn’t really reach his eyes, just like Sungjong’s had.  Sunggyu turned away to find Sungyeol.  “Sungyeol,” he called.  “Sungyeol-ah.”

Sungyeol was standing in the corner, his eyes were closed.  He was holding Myungsoo’s sweater in his hands, his nose burried the jacket.

“Sungyeol,” Sunggyu said softly, but firmly.  “Come on, Sungyeol.  Let’s go.”

Sungyeol didn’t move, tears falling down his face.

“Sungyeol-ah.  Let’s go,” Sunggyu said again, his voice his leader voice, but still gentle.  “Let’s go.”

Sungyeol finally seemed to hear Sunggyu’s calls and started to move, his movements slow and heavy.  Sungyeol slowly collected Myungsoo’s stuff, carefully tucking Myungsoo’s DSLR camera under his arm.

“Okay,” Sungyeol whispered thickly.  “Let’s go.”

Sungjong put his arm around Sungyeol’s shoulder.  “Here, I’ll help you with that.”

“No.”  Sungyeol wrapped his arms protectively around Myungsoo’s stuff, his eyes flashing protectively.  “It’s Myungsoo.”

Sungjong’s shoulders dropped.  He knew that Sungyeol was only being this defensive because he loved Myungsoo so much.  Myungsoo and Sungyeol were closest in Infinite, they were more than best friends.   Most of the time in the dorms, it wasn’t Myungsoo and Sungyeol, but MyungsooandSungyeol together,  sometimes, they would joke about the MyungYeol couple was real.  Sungjong could see that Sungyeol was lost and scared without his best friend.  “I know,” he said aloud, trying to help Sungyeol.  “You have a lot of stuff though, let me.”

Sungyeol silently shook his head.  “I can do it.”

Sungjong looked down, not sure of what to say.  Sungyeol wasn’t only saying that he could handle Myungsoo’s stuff, but reassuring him that he could get through what would happen with his best friend.

“I know, hyung,” Sungjong whispered.  “We can all do it.”

~*~

Dongwoo waited with the others as the managers and security discussed how to get Infinite out of there.

Sungyeol was looking down Myungsoo’s camera, his knuckles white against Myungsoo’s black sweater.  Sungjong was fiddling with his jacket, his eyes flickering around the hallway, his gaze not focusing on something for more than a minute.  Hoya was still, strangely still for Hoya, who was usally dancing or moving around, or for anyone in that fact.  Woohyun was working on something on his phone, his fingers moving fast.

“Hyung,” Sunggyu said finally to their managers.  “Let’s go, we can just walk past them.  We’ve done this a million times.  The kids need to sit down and hear that Myungsoo’s okay.”

Hyoan studied them. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Sunggyu said.  He looked around quickly at the others, and the others nodded back, saying that they would be okay.  Sunggyu smiled at them and looked back at Hyoan, Jungryul and Geonam.  “Let’s go.”

The security gaurds opened the door and screams greeted them.  Dongwoo put his hand on Sungjong’s back, hoping to help him through the crowds. 

Usually, Dongwoo liked the cheering, but today, they just seemed suffocating.  Hands pressed towards them.  A big security officer pushed him across the the hallway.  Dongwoo tuned out the screams and focused on the dark van at the end of the hall and Sungjong’s warmth underneath his hand.

“YAH!”  He whipped around as he heard Sungyeol’s yell.  “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?  YOU COULD’VE BROKEN IT!”  Later, he would learn that a fan grabbed at Sungyeol, but nearly knocked Myungsoo’s camera out of his hands instead.  Dongwoo could tell by Sungyeol’s tone that he was close to snapping at any moment before they left the safety of the backstage, it was his best friend after all.  Sungjong took a sharp intake beside him and Dongwoo knew that Sungjong was a second away from rushing back for Sungyeol, but before he could, Sunggyu appeared next to Sungyeol. 

“Lee Sungyeol!”  Sunggyu yelled in a voice they had seldom heard him use.  If he used that voice, they all knew that they were in deep, deep, deep trouble.  Sunggyu grabbed Sungyeol’s arm and dragged him away.  “You can not blow up at fans, you need to keep your head.  Stay calm,” he murmured to Sungyeol as they pushed their way through the crowd.

Finally, they got into the van and Hyoan started their van.  They were on their way.  Each moment taking them farther from the life that they had before. 

~*~

“LEE SUNGYEOL!”

Sungyeol closed his eyes as Sunggyu turned around in his seat to yell at him.  He knew once he opened his mouth back there that Sunggyu or the managers, and maybe even their CEO would yell at him, but still, he couldn’t stop yelling.  Sungyeol knew that he deserved to be yelled at, it was an idol’s duty to be cool in front of the fans, to never yell, to just be anything other than… human sometimes. 

“What were you thinking?”  Sunggyu continued yelling.  “You need to keep your head!  It’s only a camera!  You are an idol!  You can not do that!

“NO!”  Sungyeol yelled.  Everyone in the van flinched. “NO!  It’s not just a camera!  It’s Myungsoo’s camera!  It can’t get broken!  It’s Myungsoo!  To him, this camera is his dreams!  It’s his camera!  And maybe I am an idol, but I’m also Lee Sungyeol, just Lee Sungyeol…”

He stopped yelling, taking a deep, shaky breath.  The rest in the van were frozen, none of them dared to yell at Sunggy like that before, even Sungjong’s rebellious side and Hoya’s stuborness, wouldn’t dare to yell at Sunggyu like this. 

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Sungyeol whispered, his shoulders slumping defeat.  “I didn’t mean to yell, I just… it’s all just…”

Sunggyu nodded and patted his arm. “It’s okay.  I know.  It’s Myungsoo.”

~*~

Sunggyu looked over at Woohyun.  He had been very quiet on the ride to the hospital, doing something on his phone.

“Woohyun?” Sunggyu asked.  “What are you doing?”

He shook his head.  “I’m checking something,” he muttered.

“What is it?” Sunggyu asked.

Woohyun shook his head.  “It’s already hitting the internet.”

“What is?”

Woohyun handed Sunggyu his phone, gesturing for him to watch the video he was on.  Sunggyu took the phone as the video started playing.

The light glared weirdly off of their skin, and the frame was very shaky.  Woohyun hadn’t given him the earphones, but Sunggyu knew that the audio would be filled with the screams of the audience.  Sunggyu watched as the seven Infinite members danced on stage, none of the missing a beat.

“Run, run, still not happy…”

Sunggyu’s heart tore a bit more as he watched as Myungsoo’s legs gave away from underneath him.  He swore that he could hear the heavy thump of Myungsoo landing on the stage, unconscious.  The fancam ended as the camera swerved away from the stage, but not before Sunggyu could see the six other members screaming Myungsoo’s name and running towards their fallen brother. 

The video ended and Sunggyu scrolled down to the comments, but Woohyun tugged back his phone back before he could read any.

“What’s going to happen to Myungsoo when he gets back?” he whispered.  “His career could be ruined.”

“But it won’t be,” Sunggyu said firmly.   He wasn’t sure how he was this sure, but still, he said it with conviction. 

“How do you know, hyung?” Woohyun challenged.  “How can you be sure?”

Sunggyu hesitated. “I… don’t know… but I know that he’ll be okay.  He’ll be okay because he’s one of us, he’s Infinite.” 

Thank you all for the support, please comment and subscribe and upvote.  

I thought that i would update every week during the summer, but I might not be updating for a little while, I don't know what's going on with something that affects my writing (Which means about half of my life, i have not life at all sometimes....) and i think i need time to think about it.  yes, I'm a bad author for leaving you hanging here, i'll update once i get back in my game.   

Love you all.