~*~

Chapter X

Stars in the Morning

1월 1일

Hoya and Sunggyu ran into the waiting room together as they happened to arrive at the same time.  In the corner, Sungjong, Woohyun and Dongwoo were waiting together.

“How is he?” Hoya asked as they rushed over.  “Have you heard any news?”

Sungjong shook his head.  “Not yet,” he said softly.

“Jungryul and Myungsoo’s family are coming, they just got stuck in the New Year’s traffic,” Dongwoo added as he rubbed the back of Woohyun’s neck as Woohyun kept staring at the ground.

“How did you get here so fast then?” Hoya asked. 

“Dongwoo drove,” Sungjong said simply. 

Sunggyu let out a short laugh, the only thing that he thought he would be laughing about until Myungsoo was awake again.  He turned his attention to Woohyun, seeing that he hadn’t laughed too, or moved since he had arrived.  “Are you okay, Woohyun-ah?” Sunggyu asked.

Dongwoo smiled sadly as Woohyun kept on staring sightlessly at the ground.  “Woohyun… promised Myungsoo that he would stay with him because he was scared.”

“Myungsoo admitted that he was scared?” Hoya asked as he sat down beside him.

“No, he just… was scared,” Sungjong said, his voice taking on a helpless tone.  “He’s too stubborn to admit that he’s scared.”

“Well, Woohyun promised him that he’ll be right beside Myungsoo, but the nurses told Woohyun he couldn’t go any farther and Myunngsoo wanted to stay with Woohyun.  Woohyun managed to calm Myungsoo down, he didn’t want to leave him… he was the one who was with Myungsoo when…” Dongwoo trailed off.

Sunggyu looked down at his best friend.  Woohyun was still looking down, his hair covering his face.  Sunggyu knew that if he was in Woohyun’s shoes, he would feel just as guilty as him.

“Woohyun,” Sunggyu whispered softly, crouching down in front of him. “Woohyun-ah.”

He looked up slowly, his eyes glazed over with tears.  Sunggyu saw some dried blood on the front of his shirt and jeans.  Blood was a ugly colour, Sunggyu thought, it was red, and red was Woohyun’s favourite colour, but it didn’t suit him at all.

“Woohyun, I brought you some clothes, let’s go get you changed,” he said, pulling him up to his feet.

Usually, at least one of the others would’ve volenteered to go with them, but none of them followed.  They knew that Sunggyu could help Woohyun.  They weren’t the closest two ever, but the two of them never argued, although when they did, it would end up in a punch to the face and frosty silence until one of them finally gave in and apologized.  Neither of them liked fighting with the other, the others didn’t like it too, they trusted Sunggyu to take care of Woohyun and Woohyun to take care of Sunggyu, it worked that way.

Sunggyu guided Woohyun down the hall.  As they passed a set of double doors, Woohyun’s feet flattered, pulling Sunggyu towards them.

“Woohyun-ah, you can’t go see Myungsoo now,” Sunggyu said softly. “Let’s go wash up before we do.”

Woohyun didn’t say anything, but allowed Sunggyu to pull him down the hall.

Sunggyu set down a bag he was carrying with him when they got to the bathroom.  “Woohyun, take off your shirt.  It’s dirty, use this one.”

When he didn’t move, Sunggyu sighed and ed his t-shirt for him. “Woohyun, talk to me.  Please.”

He still didn’t answer.  Sunggyu took his hands, hoping that would help him come back.  He winced as he saw the blood on Woohyun’s hands, knowing that Myungsoo had to be bleeding pretty badly for his hands to be stained with this much blod.  He the sink and put Woohyun’s hands under the warm flow of water.  Plenty of times before, he had held Woohyun’s hands, at the airport, on stages, going into Music Bank or other shows.  Woohyun’s hands always were warm and sturdy, helping Sunggyu concentrate and kept him grounded, but this time, it felt different.

As Sunggyu helped him wash his hands, Woohyun’s hands started to shake.  Sunggyu looked up surprised, Woohyun’s shoulders were shaking violently, tears streaming down his face.

“I told him I wouldn’t leave…” Woohyun finally spoke, his voice barely a whisper.  “I promised him.  It’s all my fault.  If I hadn’t said to Dongwoo to let him come with us, he wouldn’t have been stressed out like that.  It’s my fault… I told him I wouldn’t leave him!”

The words were pouring out of Woohyun, his guilt making him an emotional wreak.  Sunggyu wrapped his arms around Woohyun, trying to stop the flow of words.  Woohyun’s hands were always the one grounding Sunggyu, but this time, it was the other way around, Sunggyu was grounding Woohyun.

“Shhhh, it’s not your fault.”  Sunggyu rubbed his back softly.  “It’s not your fault.”

Woohyun’s legs seemed to lose strength and they sank down to the bathroom floor together.  Woohyun gripped Sunggyu’s jacket tightly, his tears falling down onto Sunggyu’s neck.  Sunggyu quietly patted Woohyun’s shoulder, quietly humming in his ear.

“It’s not your fault, Woohyun, if you hadn’t taken him out with you, he would’ve been alone at the dorm when that happened,” Sunggyu whispered in his ear.  “When you promised him that you would be with him, you still are, you’re still here.  You’re still with him.  Don’t feel guilty, Woohyun.”  Sunggyu rested his check on the top of Woohyun’s head as the younger let out another sob.  “Everything is going to be okay.  You’ll see.”

~*~

The world seemed to hate him. 

Sungyeol let out a heartfelt string of curses as he watched another taxi zip by him.  Was it really that hard for him to get a taxi?  Was it really so hard for one taxi to pick him up and take him to Myungsoo?

As each second passed, he felt increasingly anxious.  What if Myungsoo was dying?  What if the doctors couldn’t save him?  And he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to his best friend just because a taxi couln’t pick him up for once. 

Sungyeol found himself on the bus instead, urging the bus on in his head, as if somehow that would help.  He realized a bit too late that he should’ve been a bit better at controlling himself in the public.  Even though it was New Year’s, he knew that probably at least one Inspirit had seen him running around for a taxi.  Of course the news that Myungsoo was in the hospital would be on the news papers in the morning and on those tabliods too.  He knew that the Woollim offical reps would probably feed some kind of watered down version of the truth, just so the Inspirits and Elements wouldn’t worry so much. 

Sungyeol sighed and jiggled his legs nervously.  As he looked out the window, he spotted an advertisement for SBS’s Gayo Daejun that he with the other five members had participated in.  A few years ago, in 2013, Infinite had participated in their Friendship Project, singing a song called “You are a Miracle.” Sungyeol smiled as he remembered the lyrics from the song,

서둘러 온 겨울 서러워서 (Was I sad that the winter was so rushed)
어제 별이 그리 밝았는지 (That the stars were that bright last night?)

그대가 이미 하고 있어요 (You’re already doing it,)
세상에 있는 것만으로 (Just by being in this world)
그대는 이미 누군가의 (You’re already someone’s)
Miracle 아름다운 Miracle (Miracle, a beautiful miracle)

아마 내일은 더 눈부시겠죠 (Tomorrow will be even more dazzling)
그대라는 이유로 (Because of you)
There can be no greater love

Sungyeol had really adored the song the first time he had hear it, although he was still tired from the last world tour leg, he was happy to participate in the song. 

By the way that Sunggyu had talked on the phone, nearly ordering him like a gerneral to come to the hospital, it didn’t sound like it was too good for Myungsoo right then. 

Sungyeol sighed and rested his forehead against the cold pane of the window, wishing that on this New Year’s Eve, there be a miracle for Myungsoo. 

“Next stop: Seoul University.”

The moment that the bus stopped, Sungyeol jumped off and hurried down the street towards the hospital.  The moment that he made it through the doors, he looked around anxiously, his eyes immediately finding the rest of Infinite and Myungsoo’s family. 

“Where’s Myungsoo?” Sungyeol demanded as he hurried up to the small group.  “Where is he?”

Sungjong placed a finger on his lips, nodding to the other four sleeping on the chairs beside them.  “Myungsoo’s still with the doctors,” he said.  “They’ve been in there for… a few hours now.”

Sungyeol sighed and fell down against the chair.  “I was so worried…”

“Yeah,” Sungjong agreed.  “Me too.”  

“Did Sunggyu call you too?” Sungyeol asked, after a short pause. 

“No, I was with Woohyun and Dongwoo.  We brought Myungsoo to the hospital.”

Sungyeol looked over at Woohyun sleeping next to Sunggyu.  He knew that Woohyun always worried, he always cared about the other members health and always wanted to help them if they were feeling unwell.  Sungyeol was thankful that Woohyun was asleep, the worry gone for a little while. 

“Are you okay?” Sungyeol asked. 

Sungjong nodded and sighed.  “I’m just worried,” he whispered, holding onto his phone so tightly that his knuckles were nearly white.  “Myungsoo-hyung was so happy a few hours ago, but now… he’s…”

“I know,” Sungyeo cut him off quickly.  “But still, he’s going to be better.”

“Why do you say that?” Sungjong asked, rather skeptically. 

Sungyeol shrugged.  “It’s new years, everything starts new on New Year’s.”

“I hope it does,” Sungjong whispered. 

Sungyeol held out his arm and brought Sungjong into a hug.  Sungjong hugged him back, resting his head on Sungyeol’s shoulder. 

“Happy new year, hyung,” he whispered. 

Sungyeol nodded slowly, feeling the tears build up in his eyes.  “Happy new year, Sungjong.”

He felt Sungjong’s breathing slowly steady as he joined the other four in dreamland.  Sungyeol squeezed his eyes shut, holding onto Sungjong tightly. 

난 믿어요 그대 소중한 (I belive in the miracle)

마음이 만들어낸 기적 (that your precious heart made.)

그대가 이미 하고 있어요 (You’re already doing it,)
세상에 있는 것만으로 (Just by being in this world)
그대는 이미 누군가의 (You’re already some’s)
Miracle 아름다운 Miracle (Miracle, a beautiful miracle)

While New Year’s Day rose up on the city of Seoul, Sungyeol prayed for a miracle.  

~*~

Yoon Hyeji was a nurse in the oncology ward for a few years now.  For two years after she finished nursing school, she worked in the emergancy room.  After two years, she moved to Seoul and now nursed the long term patients in the oncology ward.

Three months ago, she heard that an idol was in the hospital.  To be honest, when her friend had told her that it was L of Infinite, she didn’t know Infinite was.  She had heard their songs and heard of them, but she didn’t know much more about them.  While Infinite was debuting and getting a lot of popularity, Hyeji had been burried in med school. 

When Dr. Song handed her a new patient file labled with Kim Myungsoo, she had no idea that this patient would be the famous L of Infinite.  When she walked into the room, ready to give the patient his breakfast, she had no idea that she would find a very handsome young man on the bed, laughing with two other boys around his age. 

They all stood up and bowed to Hyeji when they saw her enter the room.  It caught Hyeji by surprise when they did.  Only a few times before, did the patients stand up and bow so respectfully to her as if she was the president instead of just a nurse like she was.  Later when she mentioned it to her friend, she didn’t sound very surprised, apparently Infinite was known as greeting machines. 

Myungsoo smiled at her and Sungyeol and Woohyun greeted her just as happily and enthusicastically.  Myungsoo had been really happy every time that he saw Hyei walk into his room, even though most of the time she was there to give him more pills or shots, but maybe that was the reason that he was always so happy to see Hyeji. 

A few weeks after Myungsoo came into the oncology ward, Infinite was still busy with prompotions, so Hyeji found herself coming to Myungsoo’s room more often to talk. 

She still didn’t know Infinite very well, she followed Shinee and Big Bang, and she thought that Myungsoo liked it better that she didn’t know anything about him.  If she had a bias about him as L, it would’ve been so different to get to know Myungsooo.  Myungsoo was the talkitive side of the same person, he always had a smile for Hyeji even if he was high on drugs or throwing up everything in his stomach.  

She missed Myungsoo’s smiles when he left the hospital to return home, but nothing could beat the grin that Myungsoo gave her as he waved goodbye to him as he was discharged. 

Even though she missed him, she would remember his smile from when he left the hospital with his mother and remember how happy he was. 

The biggest surprise she got was when he returned to the hospital and handed her a Christmas present a few days before Christmas.  Hyeji was so surprised, she didn’t have a present for him, but Myungsoo had smiled and told her, “I don’t need a present, thank you for keeping me alive in the past few months.  Thank you for giving me another chance at life, noona.”

Hyeji loved the present, it was a collection of his pictures, a simple message written on the bottom.  Some of the captions talking about where he took the pictures or little life lessons.  She had a wonderful Christmas with her boyfriend, reading through the book and peacefully away from the hospital. 

The way that Myungsoo had given her the present, nearly felt like one of her children patients giving her a picture that he coloured.  The same proud and shy expression as he handed it to her, and in many ways it was the same, every day, Hyeji could see the innocent side of Myungsoo, the side that made him look like a little boy, a little brother that she wanted to protect. 

On New Year’s Eve, she drew the short straw and was stuck in the hospital, wishing that she could be back home relaxing and sharing a New Year’s kiss with her boyfriend. 

It was on one of her coffee runs when she went by the living room and jumped, seeing a group of farmiliar people in the corner.  It was Myungsoo’s family and Infinite.  Hyeji had to stop herself from rushing into the waiting room and ask them what happened.  Instead, she watched from a distance. 

The six members of Infinite were sleeping together on the chairs, Woohyun was using Sunggyu’s thighs as a pillow, Sunggyu’s hand resting on Woohyun’s shoulder as if he was protecting Woohyun from something.  Sunggyu’s other hand was around Dongwoo’s shoulder, holding the two oldest closer to him.  Dongwoo’s legs were lying across Hoya’s legs as Hoya slept, his chin resting against his shoulder and his arms crossed over his chest.  The two youngest were huddled together next to Woohyun, Sungyeol holding Sungjong close to him, his cheek resting on the top of Sungjong’s head. 

On that New Year’s Eve, Infinite held each other close, as if they thought if they held each other safe, they could hold onto Myungsoo as well. 

Hyeji returned to the oncology ward and waited for Myungsoo.  As the night was ticking towards four in the morning, a group of nurses with Dr. Song came down the hall with a bed.  She looked at the patient on the bed and nearly sighed in relief when she saw that it was Myungsoo.  Though he was still oblivious to the world, he was still breathing and Hyeji took that as a good sign. 

“What happened to him?” Hyeji asked. 

“Myungsoo was brought in by his friends when he started to cough up blood,” Dr. Song explained.  “We stopped the bleeding and he’s fine now.  Start him on morphine and keep him on the oxygen mask so that he doesn’t strain himself.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Hyeji said, taking the patient file from him. 

Dr. Song smiled and ran his hand through his hair.  “What a new year it is,” he said, laughing a little bit. 

Hyeji smiled, a bitter smile, as she bowed quickly to Dr. Song.  “Happy New Year, Doctor.”

She followed the nurses and Myungsoo into the empty room.  Myungsoo didn’t move as the nurses moved around him, attatching IV lines and heart monitors.  After a few moments, Hyeji was left alone with Myungsoo, watching him breathe steadily through the machines hooked up to him. 

Hyeji sighed and made a note on Myungsoo’s file.  She remembered what Myungsoo had said to her when he gave her the Christmas present, “Thank you for giving me another chance at life, noona.”  It was nice to hear him call her noona, it surprised her when he had first called her that.  That was the first time that Hyeji realized that Myungsoo thought of her as a older sister, she was taking care of Myungsoo not only as a patient, but as a younger brother. 

Quietly, she took Myungsoo’s hand, holding it tightly in her’s as she looked at his face.  His face without the life it usually held, looked so innocent and fragile and Hyeji knew that she wanted to protect her little brother. 

“I’ll give you another chance at life again,” she told him quietly.  “I’ll give you a chance over and over again if I can.  I’ll make sure you get out of here alive. 

“I’ll be waiting for you to wake up.  Your noona is waiting, please wake up soon.”

She stood up and left Myungsoo’s room, casting one more glance over her shoulder. 

“Your brothers are waiting for you,” Hyeji whispered.  “You better wake up soon, Myungsoo.  They don’t want to start the new year without you.  Your brother are waiting for you to wake up.”

~*~

1월 4일

Sunggyu watched Myungsoo slept peacefully.  It rather hurt to see Myungsoo this still.

It had been four days since Myungsoo had last opened his eyes. 

Of course, on day one, the word was spread to the press.  None of them were sure if it was that they saw Dongwoo, Woohyun and Sungjong bring half-unconcious and bleeding Myungsoo to the hospital, or if it was seeing Sungyeol, Sunggyu and Hoya running to the hospital as if their life depended on it.  Maybe it was because they and Myungsoo’s family spent New Year’s morning in the hospital waiting room, hoping for good news to come with the new year.  How ever they found out, the press was all over them, demanding answers.  Yet again, their CEO had told them to be quiet, to protect Myungsoo’s privacy.  Where ever Sunggyu went anywhere, he could feel the watchful stares of the fans and press reporters.

He constantly had a security guard with him to make sure nothing happened to him too.  Already in the past few days, Sunggyu had tripped over a fan’s foot and sprained his wrist, Dongwoo had a handful of hair pulled out and Sungjong had a few bruises and twisted his ankle badly.

They had had a routine to make sure one of them were always with Myungsoo just in case he woke up.  Just in case…

As well as one of Infinite, Myungsoo’s parents were with him too.  Myungsoo’s family was always there with him, hoping that Myungsoo would wake up soon. 

Some of his close friends from high school and other co-workers from his dramas and some other close idol friends came and dropped in too. Probably the hospital was now known as a spot for idols to gather.

But Myungsoo was oblivious to the all of his worried friends and family.

Sunggyu turned his attention back to Myungsoo.  In the long four days, Myungsoo still hadn’t opened his eyes yet.  A oxygen mask and wires covered his lower half of his face.  IV lines and various wires s and weaved up and down his arms and under his hospital gown.  He had a heart monitor softly beeping away beside the bed.

Sunggyu reached under the wires and placed his hand on Myungsoo’s.  He needed the contact as much as they all wanted Myungsoo to wake up.

He closed his eyes.  Myungsoo was always strong and… just there.

“Sometimes you don’t realize that you have something until it goes away.”

Myungsoo was always… there.  Even if he was just sitting in the corner of the dorm, he was there with them.  Sometimes, Myungsoo would do a strange stare thing, staring off into the distance, staring at something or someone, sometimes, it was unsettling, but Myungsoo was there.

Sunggyu felt hot tears prick his eyes as he tried not to think of life without Myungsoo.

Life without his soft voice, his strong movments, his confindent air, his stubborn personality…

Without Myungsoo’s dorky, but genuine smile, his prickly outside, but sweet inside, his cold, but warm gaze.

Sunggyu already missed Myungsoo’s soft hair and touch, his voice, his sparkling eyes...

He reached up and brushed back Myungsoo’s hair, his hand resting on his cheek.  “Myungsoo-yah… you can’t leave us yet.”

He closed his eyes, trying to calm his aching heart.  When he opened his eyes again, Myungsoo’s dark brown eyes stared back at him.

“Myungsoo?” Sunggyu gasped. 

Myungsoo blinked slowly, his eyes never leaving his face.  Sunggyu squeezed Myungsoo’s hand.  “Thank god you’re awake now, we’re all worried sick about you.”

Myungsoo’s eyes shone like little black stars and his lips twitched upwards in a small smile.  A smile that was weak, but still, Sunggyu loved it, many feelings were refelcted in that smile, thankful that Sunggyu was sitting there beside him, thankful that he wasn’t alone. 

His lips moved slowly, a soft hiss escaping his mouth.  Sunggyu shook his head, not understanding what Myungsoo was trying to say, and leaned closer to hear what Myungsoo was saying.

“…d…don…t…leave…ka…y?”

Sunggyu smiled softly, sitting back so that he could see Myungsoo’s face.  His eyes were dropping already, but he still held onto consiousness to hear Sunggyu’s answer.  “Of course, I’m not going to leave,” Sunggyu whispered. “When you wake up, I’ll be right here.”

Myungsoo smiled weakly, the smile fading off soon after it appeared.  “S… in…g?”

Sunggyu nodded, holding tightly onto his hand as he started singing the song that he had heard Myungsoo’s mother sing to him. 

I want to fly up to the ends of heavens,

Hug the breeze on the air,

And whisper with the winged angels.

A small smile whispered over his lips and his eyelids slowly slid over his little stars.

Sunggyu smiled and settled back prepared to wait for as long as he needed to.

He knew he would see the stars in the morning. 

~*~

1월 20일

Dreams came to him in little snippets.

The sky candles drifted across his vision, creating a path for him to the stars.

Golden lights hung above him like the stars each of them forming little infinite signs.

Smiles and laughter echoed through the air like the voices of angels.

Echoes of songs whispered through the air.

봄에서 있을게 (And I will stand in the spring...) 

Myungsoo felt a cold breeze whisper over him.

The next thing he knew was someone was saying the word February.

He forced his eyes open. 

Hello! 

I  meant to update earlier during the week, but then the bus drivers went on strike so that means that I need to bike to school.  Sungyeol finds a bus in this chapter, but I don't have one. T0T 

Anyways, about this chapter: do you like Hyeji?  This story really needs some female influence, too many beautiful namjas. xD 

Thanks for the comments last time about which pairing you want to see.  You can still tell me again!! Or tell me a different pairing.  Or how your day was.  I enjoy all of your comments!!! 

And the song that Sungyeol was thinking about in his part is "You are a Miracle," from 2013 Gayo Daejun.  I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!! If you haven't listened to it, I'm going to tie you down in a chair until you listen to it.  (then force you to comment *smiles innocently*) 

I hope you liked this chapter, I think everyone will like the next chapter! Please comment and subscribe and upvote! I'm nealy at 100 subs! 

Thank you!  See you soon!