~*~

Chapter XIX

“I don’t want you to die like this.”

4월 13일

Sungjong placed Sowon onto the floor and Sowon scrambled away into the common area to Sunggyu.  Sungjong sighed and went to go into the shower, hoping to take away some of the stress building up inside of him. 

When he came out of the shower, Sunggyu was still sitting on the couch, watching the front door.  Sungjong bit his lip, trying to decide whether he should try getting Sunggyu to rest more or just to leave him.  Sowon ran up to him and sat down, his big brow eyes begging to be fed.  Sungjong cast one last glance to Sunggyu and went into the kitchen to get something for Sowon to eat.

When he came back with something for Sunggyu to eat too, Sunggyu was sleeping, slumped against the couch.  Sungjong gently laid Sunggyu out onto the couch, covering him with a blanket and tucking a pillow under his head. 

Just as he finished, the door opened and Dongwoo quietly entered the dorm. 

“Hey, hyung,” Sungjong said quietly. 

Dongwoo smiled at Sungjong, pushing a chunk of wet hair out of his eyes.  “Hey, Sungjong,” he said. 

Sungjong handed him the towel that he had been using to dry his hair.  “Is it raining outside?” he asked. 

Dongwoo nodded, wipping off the water.  “Sorry that I ran away, Sungjong,” he said quietly. 

Sungjong shrugged.  “Apologize to Sunggyu-hyung in the morning, okay?”

He nodded again.  “I’m going to bed now,” he said quietly. 

“See you in the morning,” Sungjong said, waving him out of the room.  He let out a loud sigh as Dongwoo shut the door behind him.  Sungjong hadn’t mentioned it, but it didn’t escape his eyes that Dongwoo had been crying, his eyes rimmed with red as he talked with Sungjong.   Now, Sungjong could hear muffled cries coming from Dongwoo and Hoya’s shared room. 

Sungjong stood outside of Dongwoo’s room, his hand raised, unsure if he should knock, but he didn’t as Dongwoo finally stopped crying and Sungjong figured that he went to sleep. 

He turned off the lights in the dorm and returned to his room, checking his phone for messages.  When he saw that there was no new messages, he sighed and placed his phone on the side table before laying down, and trying to get to sleep. 

Instead of finding sleep, he lay awake, listening to the sounds of the dorm. 

In the early morning, Woohyun and Sungyeol came home.  Sungjong sighed and threw back his blankets to get up.  Sungyeol and Woohyun were sounding rather drunk.  When Sungjong opened his door, he saw that he was right. 

“Hyungs,” Sungjong called out quietly. 

Woohyun turned around, unsteadily on his feet.  “Hey, Sungjongie!” he slurred, the smell of alcohol strong on his breath.  “You should’ve came with us, it was so much fun!”

Sungjong sighed and pushed him towards his room.  “Go to sleep, hyung, I’ll check up on you later.”

Sungjong entered Sungyeol’s room, finding him tangled in his shirt.  “Sungyeol-hyung,” he said quietly as he untangled Sungyeol from his t-shirt, wrinkling his nose from the smell of acholol. 

“Jjongie!” Sungyeol said, wavering on his feet as he gripped Sungjong’s shirt like a little boy asking for attention.  “I have a question for you.”

Sungjong sighed again as he gently lay Sungyeol onto his bed.  “What’s that?”

“Why… does it have to be Myungsoo that’s dying?” Sungyeol asked, his voice suddenly dropping from high pitched and tipsy to low and nearly sober.  “Why does it have to be my best friend… why does it have to be him?”

Sungjong looked away as he pulled the blanket over Sungyeol.  “I don’t know, hyung,” he admitted. 

“He deserves better than this,” Sungyeol whispered, tears slowly making their way down his cheeks again.  “Our Myungsoo deserves better than that…”

Sungjong nodded silently.  “I know, hyung… get some sleep, okay?”

Sungyeol nodded and rolled over onto his side, closing his eyes and falling asleep quickly.  Sungjong let out a quiet sigh of relief and moved the garbage can closer to the bed just in case. 

Sungyeol felt like his older brother.  He would , but take care of him; argue with him and treat him for a snack; laugh at him, then play the day away with him.  Sungyeol was the older brother that he never had and Sungjong knew that he needed to take care of him. 

Sungjong closed the door behind him and looked into Woohyun’s room. Thankfully, Woohyun was less drunk than Sungyeol and he had properly taken off his jacket, shoes and shirt before falling asleep.  Sungjong picked them up and threw them in the laundry basket.  Woohyun was Sungjong’s hyung, but often acted younger than him and Sungjong felt like sometimes he was his dongsaeng instead of the other way around.

Sungjong returned to the living room to check on Sunggyu.  Sunggyu was sleeping peacefully, though it looked like he was pouting in his sleep.  For what felt like the millionth time time that evening, Sungjong sighed as he looked down at Sunggyu. 

“They’re all home,” Sungjong whispered to not to wake Sunggyu.  “We’re all home, I told you that we’ll all find our own way.”

He gently lay his hand on Sunggyu’s thigh.  Sunggyu always kept his worries to himself, not wanting to make the others worry about the things that were worry him.  Sungjong was thankful for that, but at the same time, he wished that Sunggyu wouldn't suffer by himself as much as he did. 

“Sleep well, hyung,” Sungjong said before going back to his room. 

He never felt more exhasted as he fell backwards onto his bed.  Even though he wanted to sleep, he grabbed his phone from the side table and sent a text to Hoya.

The others often for favouring Hoya above all of the others, everyone knew that Hoya was Sungjong’s favourite hyung.  Finally Sungjong texted Hoya and Hoya answered quickly, telling him that he’ll be back in the morning.

Finally, Sungjong relazed, faling back onto his bed, as he made sure that all of his hyungs were safe and sound. 

Except for Myungsoo…

Sungjong closed his eyes, wanting to cry, but holding his tears inside. 

Please let Myungsoo-hyung live… I don’t want you to die like this…

Sungjong sighed and fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow all six of his hyungs would be safe and sound.

~*~

Moonsoo looked up as he heard feet move by him.  The nurses were returning Myungsoo to his room, wheeling the bed back into his room.  Moonsoo jumped up and walked beside the bed, looking at Myungsoo’s pale face.  Myungsoo was breathing steadily, his breathing assisted by an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth.  There were three IV lines in hand and another was running under his hospital gown. 

“Hyung…” Moonsoo stopped outside of Myungsoo’s room as the nurses pushed him out so that they could set up Myungsoo in his room again.  He looked around again as he heard Dr. Song calling for his mom and dad. 

Hoya smiled and pushed him in the direction of his parents.  “Don’t worry, I’ll watch over him,” he promised. 

Moonsoo smiled at him and hurried to join his parents with the doctor. 

“Is Myungsoo okay?”

Dr. Song nodded.  “The surgery went well, but there are a few things I would like to talk to you about in my office.  If you would follow me.”

Moonsoo would’ve loved to jump at the doctor and shake the answers out of him, but he took a calming breath and followed behind him calmly as they reached his office.  Dr. Song nodded to the chairs as he sat behind his desk, opening a folder in front of him. 

“How are you doing?” Dr. Song asked, looking at the three of them.  “You all look not well.”

Moonsoo’s mother nodded, gripping her husband’s hand tightly.  “Just, please, Doctor, tell us what happened to Myungsoo,” she said, a little bit of desperation in her voice. 

Dr. Song nodded and looked down at the folder before he started.  “It’s common for lung cancer patients’ lungs to collaspe.  Many times, it can be how we catch lung cancer.  So when Myungsoo’s lung collasped, it was mainly routinue for us.  But we also suspected something else, we thought that maybe the tumor in Myungsoo’s lung might be pressing against an airway, causing Myungsoo to have more trouble breathing.  As a precaution, I decided to take a MRI scan of Myungsoo once again.  There was a small tumor that was pressing against one of the major airways in Myungsoo’s lung.  We took him into surgery to remove the obstruction, but there is something else that we need to talk about.”

Dr. Song hesitated, looking around at all of them before continuing.  “I’ve discussed with you before how Myungsoo is diagnosed with Small Cell Lung Cancer.  In SCLC, the first stage of is when the cancer cells are only are found on one side of the chest.  The next stage of SCLC is when the cancer spreads to the rest of the body. 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t catch this before, but as we looked at the scans, it seems like Myungsoo’s cancer is now moving into the second stage.  From now, Myungsoo has maybe one more month to live now.”   

Moonsoo heard his mother gasp and he quickly looked away as he knew that his mother was crying.  His father took her hand before asking Dr. Song, “What’s going to happen now, doctor?”

“We’re putting him on some treatment that will hopefully stop the spred of the cancer cells and help his body fight back,” Dr. Song said calmly. 

“If the treatment doesn’t work?”

Dr. Song let out a steady breath, fiddling with the papers on his desk. “Now, it’s early in the second stage and we can stop the cells from growing any more, but if the treatment doesn’t work, the cancer will spread to the rest of his body.”

“And kill him,” Moonsoo whispered under his breath. 

Even though he said it quietly, he nearly didn’t hear it himself, his parents did hear him.  His father stood up so suddenly that the chair he was sitting on skidded back a few inches as he turned towards Moonsoo.  “Kim Moonsoo!  Do not talk like that!” his father yelled, towering over him. 

“But it’s true!” Moonsoo defended himself.  It suddenly felt like he was a little kid again and he had just gotten in trouble with his dad.  “Isn’t that right?” he asked Dr. Song. 

Dr. Song hesitated, looking like he didn’t want to be pulled into the father-son argument.  “Yes,” he said finally.  “But I’ll do everything in my power to prevent that from happening.” 

Mr. Kim sighed and rubbed his temples.  “Just… Moonsoo, go to your brother’s room, okay?  You can stay with him while we finish talking with Dr. Song.” 

Moonsoo nodded and stood up, trying not to feel like he was being sent to his room for the first time in more than 10 years.

Even though Moonsoo had said some dark things in the office, he didn’t want Myungsoo to leave, he wanted to keep Myungsoo with him forever. 

Hoya was in Myungsoo’s room when Moonsoo walked while his parents were still talking to Dr. Song, but Hoya didn’t seem to hear him as he came into the room.  He was standing at the end of the bed, watching Myungsoo sleep and breathe steadily. 

Moonsoo smiled to himself as he was reminded of a story that his mother used to read to him and Myungsoo when they were younger.  In the story, a young boy got lost in the woods.  He couldn’t find his way back, he asked the stars for help and the stars sent him a guardian angel.  The angel lead him back home to be with his family. 

As Moonsoo watched Hoya standing over Myungsoo, as if he was protecting him from all of the things that were hurting him, Moonsoo couldn’t help but compare Hoya to the angel, he couldn’t help but compare all of the Infinite members to the angel, the angel sent by the stars to lead his brother home. 

The moment was broken when his mother came into the room.  Hoya jumped, jarred out of his concentration.  “What did the doctors say?” he asked anxiously. 

“They… said that he’s moving into the next stage of cancer.  But Dr. Song said that Myungsoo will probably wake up soon,” Moonsoo said. 

Hoya relaxed and tried to smile.  “Well, that’s good news,” he said.  “Can I call the others to tell them?”

“Go ahead,” Moonsoo said.  “But, Hoya… Dr. Song did say that… just tell them not to have too much hope on those words.”

He looked closely at Moonsoo before putting his hands on his shoulders.  “Moonsoo, what ever happens, I’m going to be beside Myungsoo and your family every step of the way.  All of us are.”

Moonsoo smiled and nodded as Hoya moved away to make the phone call.  He couldn’t help but to think that maybe his thoughts was right. 

Maybe Infinite was his brother’s angels, sent by the stars to lead Myungsoo wherever he may go and bring him back home. 

Hello!! 

I missed you~ 

I wanted to update last weekend, but my lovely science teacher decided to give us three big assignments at the same time.  And it was the week before break, do you expect me to do work?  

Well, at least I'm done that *brushes hands off and stares at another crapload of homework* at least I have the holidays to work on them... 

Sorry that this was a short(er) chapter, it was meant to be a part of the last chapter but then I spilt it into two.  But next week's chapter is going to be so much fun!  So pleast look forward to that and subscribe and comment and upvote!! 

See you next weekend~ *throws hearts for everyone*