(Listen to Real Story while you read this, especially for the last part of the chapter)

~*~

Chapter XV

“…Happy Birthday to you.”

3월 13일

Myungsoo woke up in the morning, feeling just the same as the day before. 

For the past week, the other Infinite members’ visits were at a minimum as they were preparing for something, though he wasn’t very sure what.  That left him with a whole lot of time for him to lay there and do nothing for hours on end.

He sighed and looked at the calender. 

March 13^th. 

It was his birthday.  Myungsoo badly wanted to see the other members again, but he didn’t want to seem needy and demand for them to be there.  They always tried their best to celebrate each others’ birthdays, though a lot of the time, schedules got in the way.  At the same time that they knew they didn’t have enough time, they put a special effort into celebrating birthdays, like for Dongwoo’s brithday with the hidden camera trick they pulled on him.  What they could always count on was a birthday cake to eat or to smash into someone’s face. 

Myungsoo sighed and looked at his silent phone, wishing that the other members would text him a happy birthday message.  

There was a knock on the door and his family entered.  “Happy birthday, Myungsoo!” Moonsoo called out happily, throwing a present on his lap.  “From me and Abeoji.”

Myungsoo forced a smile onto his face.  “Thank you.”

“Happy birthday, Myungsoo,” his mother said as she kissed his cheek.  She handed him a envelope.  “And here’s your present.”

Myungsoo smiled at her, though the smile was tired and he felt like she could tell he was faking it. 

“Open it, okay?”

Myungsoo nodded and opened the envelope, knowing that he would find a letter from his mother.  He pulled out the paper and started to read the letter. 

My dear son, Myungsoo. 

I don’t think that you would be very surprised that I’m writing you a letter, but this time, listen closely, my son, because this letter is very important. 

When you were accepted as a trainee, I was so excited for you, but I was scared for you too.  I know that you’re more sensitive then you seem, I was worried that the trainee and idol life would be too hard on you. 

But even after you debut, you still managed to smile at everything, even though I know that a lot of things were hard on you.  I was worried that some day you would lose that smile to the life that you live.  When I came to see you in 2012, I was happy that even though you were shy, you still smiled after all of that hard work that you did. 

Not once have I seen that beautiful smile of yours disappear from your face.  Never have I thought that I would never see it again.  But when your doctor told you that you had lung cancer, I wondered why my son, the one who smiled no matter what, was the one who had to go through this. 

Since you were diagnosed, it’s been so hard on you, hasn’t it?   I’m so thankful that you’re so strong, you’re stronger than me sometimes, I can’t bear to see you in pain. 

You’ve been so stong and brave, it feels wrong to ask you for something as you try your hardest to stay with us.   

But I want this from you: I want you to smile again.  You’ve been smiling for me ever since you were diagnosed, but it isn’t the smile that used to always be on my son’s face. 

Now you smile at me to tell me that it’s okay, that you’re okay, but I miss the smile that I see when you’re happy. 

Could you try to smile at me, not with a smile to say that you’re alright, but a smile to tell me that you are happy. 

Thank you for everything, my dear son. 

Umma loves you very much, my little Myungsoo, your mother loves you very much. 

Myungsoo looked up at his mother, tears filling his eyes.  “Umma… I’m sorry…”

She quickly made hushing sounds and wrapped her arms around him as tears started to fall.  “I’m sorry as well, Myungsoo,” she said gently.  “I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you like this, I wish that I was stronger so that I could help you more.”

Myungsoo shook his head.  “You’ve done more than what I could’ve ever asked for,” he said quietly.  “You’ve done everything for me…”

~*~

After Myungsoo had opened Moonsoo’s and his father’s present, they brought out a cake and had a little party in Myungsoo’s hospital room. 

“I hate to be the party pooper, but I need to go to class now,” Moonsoo said.  “See you later, Myungsoo, happy birthday!”

“Bye, Moonsoo,” Myungsoo called after Moonsoo as he left. 

Myungsoo’s phone buzzed and he looked down at the screen.  Through the morning, he had gotten a lot of happy birthday wishes from his other friends, but none of them from the other Infinite members.  Therefore, he nearly dropped the phone in excitement as he saw Woohyun’s name on the screen.  He fumbled with his phone as he unlocked the screen. 

Woohyun: Myungsoo~  We’re going to come to the hospital now.  We’re probably 20 minutes away. 

Myungsoo grinned happily. 

“Was that one of Infinite?” his father asked. 

Myungsoo looked up surprised.  “Oh, yep, they’re coming over in 20 minutes.”

“Have you told them that you might die in two months?”  

Myungsoo frowned at his father’s bunt wording.  “No,” he said quietly, sensing that his father was going to reprimand him. 

“Myungsoo, it’s been a week since the doctors told you.  You need to tell your friends.  If the diagnosis is true, they need to be prepared for your death, you can’t just leave without them knowing.”

Myungsoo looked down and nodded slowly. “I know, Abeoji… I just can’t…”

His father smiled and hugged him gently. “I know you can, Myungsoo, you can.”  He drew back and put his hand on his head.   “We’ll give you some space, but make sure to tell them, okay?”

Myungsoo nodded slowly.  “Okay.  I will.”

~*~

“Myungsoo-yah!”

Myungsoo looked up as Sungyeol and Dongwoo burst into the room.  “Hey, guys,” he greeted.

“Myungsoo, we have something for you,” Sunggyu sang out as he followed Sungyeol and Dongwoo into the room with Hoya, Sungjong and Woohyun. 

“Wait, guys,” Myungsoo said sharply.  “I have something to tell you.”

Sungyeol was tugging on his hands, trying to force him out of bed.  “Come on, Myungsoo!  Let’s go outside!”

“No, really, really, guys, I have something to tell you!” Myungsoo yelled over the sounds over their chatter.

They all paused.  “What is it, Myungsoo?” Sungjong asked. 

“Guys… I…” Myungsoo looked down at his lap, trying to force the shaking out of his hands.  “I…”

Dongwoo sat down beside Myungsoo, putting an arm around his shoulders.  “What is it?  You can say what ever you want to us, you know that.”

Myungsoo bit his lip.  “You’ve done so much for me…” he whispered.  “I’m sorry.”

“What do you need to be sorry for?” Woohyun asked, kneeling in front of Myungsoo. 

“I…” He felt tears burning his eyes as he tried to force the words out of his mouth.  “Aish!”  He covered his face with his hands as the tears started to fall. 

Sungjong’s warm and soft hand covered his hands and slowly lowered them.  “Hyung, why are you crying?” he asked, his voice sad as he heard his hyung cry. 

Myungsoo looked always from Sungjong, unable to stop crying.  “I’m…” Again, he couldn’t finish his sentence and he burried his face against Dongwoo’s shoulder.  He felt Dongwoo’s hand tentitavely reach up and touch his shoulder, gently rubbing his arm. 

“Don’t cry, Myungsoo-yah, okay?” Dongwoo said, moving his other arm up to completely hug Myungsoo.

“How can I not cry when I know you guys will?” Myungsoo said, his voice muffled against Dongwoo’s shirt. 

“What do you mean?” Hoya asked. 

“I’m…”  Myungsoo sniffed and tried to stop his tears.  He turned his face out of Dongwoo’s shoulder to look at the other.  They all had a worried look on their face as they tried to figure out why Myungsoo was crying this hard.  “I’m so sorry… the doctors told me… I…”

He closed his eyes, not brave enough to see their faces when he told them.

“I’m going to die in two months!”

He started to sob harder, tears choking him and ripping their way out of his chest and heart.  Dongwoo’s arms tightened around his comfortingly, though he could hear Dongwoo crying himself. 

“I’m sorry, when… when did you figure out?” Sungjong asked quietly. 

“A week, I guess,” Myungsoo choked out through his sobs.  “You were all so busy and so happy, I didn’t want to tell you.  I’m so sorry.”

“Myungsoo, you don’t need to be sorry,” Sungyeol said, tears running steadily down his face.  “We’re sorry that we weren’t with you.”

“I’m so sorry.”  Myungsoo bit his lip.  “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“You’re never going to leave us,” Sunggyu said firmly.  “We promised.  Remember?”

“We promised that to you, on Chirstmas Eve, remember?  That was so long ago, we promised you that… we promised that you are going to be Infinite,” Woohyun said, wiping his eyes.  “We promised.  You are going to be infinite.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you!”  Myungsoo yelled, startling the others.  “I remembered your promise!  I don’t want you to fail your promise!  I don’t want you to feel like you failed me because the truth is that you have helped me beyond what ever I would ever thought that you could do and beyond what you know what you did for me.  I don’t want you to feel the guilt or to be unhappy while I’m gone.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

“We are going to keep our promise,” Hoya said softly.  “We are.  We can’t fail you now.”

Dongwoo wipped off Myungsoo’s face as best as he could, handing him a tissue to blow his nose with.  “Please don’t cry, Myungsoo.  Please don’t feel guilty.  We… we want to be with you, we want to be with you if you leave us.  That’s our promise, you’re going to be infinite.”

~*~

Myungsoo looked like he was finally calming down as he took the tissue that Dongwoo offered. 

“Feeling better now, Myungsoo?” Sungyeol asked as Myungsoo’s sobs became suddering breaths. 

He nodded and blew his nose once more. 

“Can we show you what we wanted to show you now?” Sunggyu asked.  “It’ll help cheer you up.”

Myungsoo nodded and stood up to follow them. 

“Wear this,” Hoya said, throwing him a pain of jeans and a bunnyhug. 

Myungsoo cuaght them easily and shrugged them on over top of his hospital gown.  “Where are we going?” he asked as soon as he was dressed.

“Outside,” Sungjong said, bouncing up and down happily as if he couldn’t contain his excitment.  Sunggyu took Myungsoo’s IV stand as he followed him into the elevator.  Just before the elevator doors opened, Sungyeol covered Myungsoo’s eyes with his hands. 

“What?”

“Just trust me, okay?”

Myungsoo tried to remove Sungyeol’s hands, but then Sungyeol whispered in his ear again.  “Trust us.”

Myungsoo smiled and lowered his hands.  “Okay.”

He let the others guide him to where they wanted him to go, Hoya holding his left hand and Woohyun holding his right.

“Watch you step here,” Woohyun warned.  Myungsoo nodded and stepped out cautiously with his foot as they stepped up a few stairs.

“Okay.” Sungyeol was jumping up and down behind him excitedly.  “One, two, three!”

He removed his hands and Myungsoo found himself on the outdoor stage in the hospital garden, looking out at a small crowd of other hospital patients, from the infants to grown ups.  Myungsoo’s eyes widened as he saw some of the patients holding up placecards with their names on them.  As he looked closer, he could recognize some Inspirits in the crowd. 

“What..?” Myungsoo looked around for an explanation.  Sungyeol came up onto the stage with a birthday cake in his hands. 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.  Hapy birthday, dear Myungsoo, happy birthday to you.”

Myungsoo’s mouth fell open as everyone started singing happy birthday to him.  “What?”

“We wanted to throw you a birthday party!” Sungyeol said, a wide grin on his face.

“But-“ Myungsoo started, but Sunggyu cut him off. 

“We wanted to do this for you, Myungsoo, no matter how much you’re going to protest that we shouldn’t have, how we should’ve spent our time on something worthwhile and spent time on a person who’s in the hospital, we want to do this for you.”

“Come on, hyung, blow out the candles!” Sungjong said behind him.  Myungsoo felt his eyes fill with tears again. 

“Don’t you dare cry,” Woohyun threatened lightly.  “Smile, okay?”

The crowd started to chant, “Don’t cry.  Don’t cry.”  Myungsoo smiled and wipped away the tears at the corners of his eyes.  Myungsoo turned to the cake that Sungyeol was holding, blowing out the candles quickly. 

“That wasn’t the only birthday present we have,” Woohyun added.  “Considering if we had tried to give you anything, you would’ve refused, we decided to do something that you couldn’t refuse.  We set up a foundation in your name.  It’ll fund patients in hospitals who can’t afford the treatments that they need and help all kinds of research so that people can live.  It’s all for you.”

“The Inspirits did a bit-” Dongwoo started.

“A bit is a understatment,” Woohyun laughed.

“Okay, they did a lot of fundraising and they already raised more than 300 000 000 won for you and the foundation.” Dongwoo grinned.  “And they did that in less than a week.”

Myungsoo’s mouth fell open. 

“That was our reaction,” Sunggyu laughed.  “The money will help some of the children in this hospital, the ones that need it.”

Myungsoo covered his mouth and had to choke back a sob.

“So today, let’s cheer up the children and other patients here,” Hoya said.  “Let’s do that, okay, L?” 

Slowly a smile spread over his lips as Hoya called him L, a name that he hadn’t been called for the longest time.  Myungsoo threw his arms around Hoya’s neck, squeezing the breath out of him before jumping onto the others, giving them the same bone crushing hug.  He heard the crowd in front of the stage scream happily for them.  To Myungsoo, it felt just like yesterday. 

“Thank you so much, this is the perfect birthday, it really is.”

~*~

In the hospital garden, there was a raised platform, sometimes used for little celebrations or ceremonies.  It was nothing speical, but in Infinite’s eyes, they saw a whole stage that they could fill with their art.

There were temporary speakers on the edges of the stage and a few dozen chairs were set out on the lawn in front of it.  It wasn’t the most spectacular stage, but it was everything that they wanted.

“Annyeonghaseyo! We are Infinite!” they said in unison, bowing to the small, smaller then they had ever had, audience.  “We’re going to sing for you today!”

Music floated through the air.  Sungyeol looked across the stage to where Myungsoo was.  Myungsoo had protested that he wouldn’t be able to dance since it was nearly five months since he had actually danced.  The others had dismissed his worries, shoving him into place, knowing that he would be able to dance. 

As the music started, they knew they were right as Myungsoo’s feet immediately took him to where he was supposed to go. 

니가 멀어진다 멀리 점이 된다 [You’re getting farther away, a distant dot]

발을 떼지 못해 [I can’t take a single step]

마음만 뒤쫓아 따라 간다 [Only my heart is chasing after you]

Sungyeol smiled as Myungsoo danced just like they had practiced many times before, over and over and over aain in that damp, hot practice room when they were boys filled with more dreams and no idea what would be coming down the road to them.

Step. Arm. Leg. Wiggle. Step. Step.

Nothing’s over. (Nothing’s over)

All of their seven voices, but as they were singing, it didn’t feel like there was seven of them that were singing, it was only one, one voice that would echo forever.

Nothing’s over. (Nothing’s over)

Sungyeol caught Myungsoo’s eye from across the stage, just like how they used to do.  They always passed secret smiles when they were on stage.

It started out as Sungyeol’s joke when he just wanted to make one of them smile, he would pass them a goofy grin or a stick his tounge out at them when they were practicing.  Every single time that he had the chance, he would grin at the other members, sometimes pluckering up his lips as if he was going to kiss the other if they were close enough. 

Somewhere on the road, he passed his joking actions onto the other members.  Myungsoo would always stick his tounge out at Sungyeol if they were across the formation and make a goofy face if they passed each other.

Most of the time, their actions would be written off as fan service, but at the end of the day, it was something that they did to make each other smile because most of the time, they didn't have enough time to make each other smile if they didn’t do it now. 

아직은 끝난게 아니야 (끝난게 아니야) [It’s not over yet (not over yet)]

나에겐 너뿐야 [To me, it’s only you.]

Step.  Step.  Step.  Turn.

He threw his arm around Myungsoo’s shoulder and Myungsoo grinned at him, though he was panting harder than they usually did after doing one dance, he was smiling like crazy.  Sungyeol smiled again, every performance they had ever done coming back to Sungyeol in that short moment. 

Myungsoo had told them that he had only had two more months to live, if it was like that, he was happy that he got to dance with him once more. 

Pushing the thoughts out of his head, he squeezed Myungsoo closer.  “Happy birthday, Myungsoo-yah,” he whispered in his ear. 

Myungsoo smiled and closed his eyes.  “Thanks, hyung, it’s the best birthday ever.”

Sungyeol grinned as the song ended and the small crowd started to clap and cheer.

The cheering was definitely quieter than ever, but still, it was the loudest that Infinite had ever heard it. 

~*~

Myungsoo leaned back in the bed as Hyeji helped him get back into bed.

“Had fun today?” Hyeji asked as she pulled the blankets up for him. 

Myungsoo nodded sleepily.  “I missed them a lot,” he mumbled. 

“Did they take the news well?”

He nodded again.  “Better than I thought they would,” he admitted. 

“They’re strong too and your brothers won’t give up on you that easily,” Hyeji said, fixing something in his IV.  “They’re going to be a pernament guest here from now on.”

“Aren’t they already?” Myungsoo joked. 

She laughed and made some last notes on a clipboard.  “I guess so.  Myungsoo, I got you a birthday present,” she said as she handed him a book with a messy ribbon tied to it. 

“Thank you,” Myungsoo said, placing it on his bedside to read later. 

“No problem.  It’s a really good book and there isn’t much you can do around here,” she said.  “Get some rest, okay?  It’s been a long day for you.”

Myungsoo nodded, closing his eyes again.  “Thank you, noona,” he said sleepily. 

Hyeji laughed.  “Good night, Myungsoo, sleep well.” 

Myungsoo wanted to fall asleep right away, but despite his exahustion, he wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet.  The whole day was really tiring.  As they sang more songs in the garden, the audience grew a bit more and the cheers became louder.  It felt more than normal. 

Myungsoo grinned remembering how all of his friends interacted with the children.  Hoya danced with the more mobile kids while Woohyun laughed and talked with the kids unable to move very much.  Sungyeol sat on a little toy car and wheeled around with the kids, laughing and grinning, just like how Sungyeol always did.  Sungjong sat cross legged on the floor and stacked some blocks with a young boy and girl, many of the other kids coming over to play with them as Sungjong always attracted so many little kids with his soft personality.  Sunggyu awkwardly tried to play with some of the little kids, but in the end gave up and talked to the childrens’ parents.  Dongwoo played with the youngest kids, holding them above his head as gently as possible, telling them that they were flying through the sky, and each of the children squealed and demanded to fly again.

Myungsoo opened his eye as his phone buzzed quietly with a text on his side table.  He picked it up and slid his finger across the screen. 

Sungyeol:  We’re on TV right now.  Sorry if you were asleep, I just wanted to tell you and say happy birthday again.

Myungsoo laughed quietly, reaching over to grab the TV remote.  After a little fumbling, he fond the channel that Sungyeol was refering to. 

“…the popular idols, Infinite, visited the Seoul University Hospital where their visual, L, is currently addmitted in for treatment for lung cancer. Infinite played with the younger patients and performed a few of their songs for them.”

It cut to a clip of them dancing to ‘Nothing’s Over’, each of them dancing and singing happily.

“It was very fun to talk to and play with the young patients in the hospital.”  Myungsoo chuckled as Sunggyu started talking on the TV.  “We went to go celebrate L’s birthday with him and to give him a present because we think that our best gift that we can ever give is our songs.”

“Infinite has recently opened a charity to fund for research and help children in hospitals,” the reporter said, in the fast way that all reporters talked. “They have raised over three hundred million won in the past few weeks with the help of their fans.”

The shot changed to a frame of all six of them standing in two rows, the same way that they would always stand in interviews: Woohyun, Sunggyu and Sungyeol in the front, Dongwoo, Sungjong and Hoya in the back. “Please continue to help us raise money,” Woohyun said to the interviewer and camera. “Every single won counts and we want to make this more then just what it is now.”

“Please support us and L who is in the hospital.  We’re thankful to for the support,” Sunggyu said. “One, two, three.”

“FIGHTING!” The six chorused together before the camera cut away.

He smiled as the TV changed to some footage of them singing “Real Story”, each of them holding a young boy or girl in their lap.

“Hey, 가만 봐봐 너만 보잖아
(Hey, wait a second, I only look at you)

나 안 그런 척 해도 신경 쓰고 있어
(Even if I don’t act like it, I’m paying attention)

Hey, 한결 같이 변함 없잖아
(Hey, it’s a constant, there’s no change)

말 뿐인 허울에 목 매다는 넌 바보야 (You’re just a fool who puts her everything into words)

Myungsoo smiled faintly and sighed.  Their voices soothed him, he could pick out all of their voices, all of them steady and beautiful.  His stuck out slightly, worn out from the many months of no singing, but still, his voice blended with the others as they supported his voice.

Nanananana nananananan nananananan…

He closed his eyes. He loved performing on stage again after nearly five months.  The long five months had wasted away on his body, he neither recovered or got worse, the days just keeping him at the same stage and wasting away a little more hope at the same time.  The thing that he missed most since then was performing on the stage, he missed the bright lights, the voices calling his name… he wished that he could perform on stage once more.  It didn’t matter how small the stage was, he just loved how he was standing with his six brothers, singing the same songs they had been singing for years.  He was thankful that he could perform once again.

But what if this was his last?  What if it was his last performance ever?

He shook his head, shaking the dark thought out of his mind and turned over to go to sleep.

Myungsoo didn’t want to think that way, he wanted to think that he would be going back to Infinite soon.  The last refrain of ‘Real Story’ faded away as he fell to sleep, weaving through his thoughts and sending him to sleep.   

Nanana…

Yay! I updated!! 

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