The Twenty-Fifth Chapter

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Daesom suddenly spoke, her voice laced with fondness over the little girl. “Her name’s Soo Jin.” Daesom locked her gaze with his. “Oh Soo Jin. She’s our daughter, Sehun.”

Sehun went still, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open. Our daughter. Those two words kept repeating inside his head. He looked at the baby again and even if it was the first time he saw her, Sehun felt something. There was some sort of connection he could feel in his veins and he knew he couldn’t deny that the little girl was really his child.

Daesom spoke again since she probably knew that Sehun wouldn’t be able to say anything yet due to his shock. “I know this is a lot to take in right now. I don’t even know where to start explaining, to be honest. I suddenly disappear and then reappear in your life without any warning then telling you that we have a child.” She cradled Soo Jin in her arms, the little girl looking at her mother with wonder in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sehun. I’m really sorry.”

Sehun still didn’t say anything but this time, he took steps to get closer to her. Daesom’s eyes were wary, as if she was worried that he was mad – which was pretty absurd because Sehun could never get mad at her even if she disappeared on him just like that.

“Can I hold her?”

Daesom looked surprised when she heard him say that, like she didn’t expect him to be talking calmly like that. She nodded perceptibly and held out her arms so that Sehun could take Soo Jin. His arms were shaking as he took the little girl. He was nervous because, after all, it was his first time to carry a child in his arms. She was so little and so fragile-looking that he was afraid that he might break her.  He was also scared that she would cry but her eyes just looked into his own, probably wondering who he might be.

“Soo Jin.” The first time Sehun said his daughter’s name, his heart raced due to a feeling he couldn’t explain. The baby probably knew her name because her eyes – eyes that were so much like his own – blinked and the corners of her small lips twitched upwards. Sehun wasn’t sure if babies already knew how to smile but his lips formed a smile of his own. He gazed at Soo Jin, then at Daesom, and the last thirteen months they were apart didn’t matter to Sehun anymore.

-

“Two weeks after I went back to Canada, I found out I was pregnant.” Daesom started to say. They were sitting at the bench that Daesom and Soojin were occupying earlier. Their daughter was fast asleep again in Daesom’s arms. “I found out early because I was going to the hospital for my check-up. I didn’t even have the slightest idea about it so it came as a total shock. I even thought at first that the doctor just made a mistake so I went to the OB-gyne to confirm it. When she told me that I was, I couldn’t believe it. With my sickness, though not impossible, it was hard for my body to conceive and if I did, it would be highly risky. I became afraid.”

Daesom wasn’t looking into his eyes as she talked but he clearly saw the fear in them as she recalled what happened for the past months. He reached out for her hand and clasped it tightly. That was when she decided to meet his gaze and he gave her a small smile when she did. She continued speaking with his encouragement.

“I didn’t tell anyone yet. We were still communicating that time and I knew I had to tell you. But everytime that I try to, my words get stuck on my tongue and I would never get to say it. My doctor said that my pregnancy was a sensitive case. I was going to have surgery and treatment but with Soo Jin growing inside me, it was not advisable. I could have miscarriage or if the baby would survive, she would have complications. Worst case scenario was.. the both of us won’t make it.” Daesom paused for a few seconds and he felt her hand tremble against his. “So I had to make a choice. It was either I abort the baby so I can continue with the transplant or I’ll have to postpone it until Soo Jin would be born. And I think you already know what I chose.”

“That’s not everything to it, isn’t it?” Sehun said after a while.

She shook her head. “When I returned to Canada, things were still the same. My parents hated me; well, to be specific, my stepmother did and my father just went along because he would do anything to appease that woman. Daehyun already told them about my condition and my father was still my father so he could donate his stem cells for the transplant. Things were alright, until they found out that I was pregnant.” She heaved out a deep sigh. “They found out after I made the decision of keeping Soo Jin alive and they were furious at me. My stepmother called me a and said that having me sick was already a shame to the family and me being pregnant while unmarried brought more humiliation to the family. They asked me who the father was and I told them that it was you, hoping that they would just let me go back. Daehyun told me that my father had you investigated and when he found out about your family background, well, let’s just say that they didn’t want our family name to be mixed in with yours.”

“My wicked stepmother would do everything to spite me, so she made a deal. I could keep the baby and still have my father donating after I give birth, only if I cut all communication with you. It was the worst decision of my life but my parents were all I have and I don’t want to lose Soo Jin and die.” Daesom hung her head low, regret registering on her face.

“Why did you listen to them, Daesom? You should have talked to me about this. I could have helped you.” Sehun couldn’t help but feel hurt. He would have done anything to help her and get her out of that situation.

“There was another thing that I was afraid of at that time.” She replied quietly. “Something that made me afraid the most was that you wouldn’t be able to accept Soo Jin.”

His eyes widened in shock. “What are you talking about? How could you even think of that?”

“Listen to me, Sehun. If I told you before that I was pregnant and the baby would endanger my life more, that the time I have left would be cut shorter if I didn’t abort the baby and there was a possibility that I won’t be able to make it when I give birth to her, what would you do? Tell me.”

Sehun wanted to retort that he would find a way to keep the both of them alive, but he couldn’t lie. Because if they went back to that time and Daesom asked him that, he knew what his answer was going to be. He wanted to have a family with her, but if he had to make a decision, he would choose to keep her alive longer.

“Soo Jin is our daughter and I didn’t want to lose her even if it would cost my own life.” Daesom spoke when Sehun wasn’t able to say anything. “The only thing I regret was that I listened to my parents and hid myself from you but I never and would never regret choosing Soo Jin’s life over my own.”

“Daehyun and I planned to escape after I gave birth and my transplant but things didn’t exactly go the way we planned to. Soo Jin came out alive and normal, but I.. I died.” Sehun’s eyes widened in horror upon hearing what she said.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I had to cut down my treatment during pregnancy or the medicine and chemicals could affect the baby; so for eight months, I’ve it had it worse. During the eighth month, I was barely holding on and so Soo Jin was born prematurely. After labor, I lost my heartbeat. I was dead for about ten minutes, the doctors trying to revive me and they were about to announce that I’m technically dead. But due to some miracle, I came back.” A grateful smile graced her lips as her eyes looked up into the sky, as if thanking the heavens. “I didn’t wake up for another five weeks though and they thought I was already brain dead. My parents knew you were looking for me, and perhaps that was the misleading information they put on our trail so you thought I was really gone.”

“When I woke up, I was still in no condition to be considered fine so I waited for another month until I was able to get the transplant. Another two months for me to recover and that entire time, I never got to see Soo Jin. My parents never let me hold her because.. they were never planning to give me our daughter. They wanted an heir and thought that they could keep Soo Jin to their selves.” Sehun unconsciously clenched his fists at Daesom’s statement. He thought he could never hate anyone more than he hated his father before, but her so-called parents were proving him otherwise.

“I also found out that they faked my death and that was when I had enough.” The expression on Daesom’s face hardened with all the bitterness she probably felt towards the two elders. “I didn’t care that I wasn’t fully healed; I just had to escape and go back to you. It was hard to get away from them, but Daehyun was able to take Soo Jin back and here we are.”

“I’m sorry I made you wait. I’m so sorry that I kept everything from you. I’m just so sorry, Sehun. You know I’ve always been bad at making decisions in my life. I’m so sorry if I had doubts that you would accept our daughter. I’m sorry.” Tears started to stream down her pale cheeks. Sehun reached out his hand and gently wiped them with his fingers.

Everything was really too much to take in; his mind was having a hard time processing all those things he just knew. His heart ached for Daesom – she went through hell and worse all by herself – but he was also proud of her for being able to survive through all that. He hated the fact that she had to suffer alone and that he wasn’t able to be there for her. But they couldn’t do anything about it now. It was all in the past.

In Sehun’s life, he had learned that the past would always haunt you; the mistakes you made would always hold you back – but only if you let it to. He preferred to have his life on a standstill because that was the only way he could protect himself from more pain and disappointment. The truth was, he was just afraid to move forward alone. Looking at Daesom and their daughter right now, he no longer had to have that fear. He was ready to move forward and leave the painful past behind.

-

Sehun pulled over the side of the road and got out of his car. He rushed to the other side to open the door to the passenger’s seat and Daesom stepped outside. She was holding a rectangular box with both hands. He placed a hand on the small of her back and he guided her to the large, old tree standing in the middle of the field.

He saw how her face lit up with fascination as she gazed at the different kind of spring flowers blooming in the field. Daesom rarely showed that kind of face before; but ever since she came back, she was expressing herself more and that serene smile on her face was now often present. She noticed him staring so sh