The Sixteenth Chapter

Sehun can’t remember how many bottles of beer he had already consumed for that night. At times like this, he hated how it was hard for him to get drunk. He just wanted to escape everything for awhile. He knew getting wasted was a stupid idea but he didn’t give a damn.

“I’m really pathetic, ain’t I?” He mumbled to himself darkly before chugging down his drink.

He was back to hating everything. What he heard from that phone call with Daesom affected him so much that he didn’t know what to do with his life anymore. The neon lights that flashed before his eyes inside the club almost blinded him. It strangely reminded him of his life before. It was complete darkness but there were flickers of hope that he strongly believed in.

Sehun never had a happy childhood. His father hated him; he would always get hit whenever his father was in a bad mood or problems just kept on coming in the company. His mother was no exception of his father’s beating. This was back before he knew that he was an illegitimate child. But Sehun tried to be bright and optimistic with things. His father was his family so he loved him and tried to understand that he only did that because his father didn’t know of any way to release his stress.

He was around eight years old when he met Jongin and Chanyeol. They were great friends he could lean on and it made him forget how miserable his life was at home. They even offered to let him move to their houses, but of course he refused because he foolishly believed that his father loved him.

Jongin got him into dancing and Sehun found his passion in life. It was an escape for him from the harsh reality of life. The late night practices were even better for him because when he arrived at home, his father would already be asleep. It seemed like his father was in a great mood if Sehun wasn’t around the house. And of course, he still refused to believe that.

When he was ten, his father hired a new family lawyer and that was Luhan’s father. Luhan was five years older than him and Luhan would often tag along with his father to their house because he was preparing himself to follow the steps of his father as well.

Sehun’s father had a lot of legal problems with the company at that time so the Lu’s were often at their home. Despite the , he became close with Luhan and anyone considered them as brothers already. He met Sae Hee a few years later; they fell in love and Sehun thought that finally, he could be happy.

“Sehun, what are you doing?”

Sehun pulled himself away from his reverie and turned to a frowning Luhan beside him. His hyung’s face had matured from the one in his memory and yet even if he was frowning, he could still remember how he took care of Sehun when they were young.

“Why are you here?” Sehun grumbled. He had a hard time focusing his glare on the older one. He might have high tolerance for alcohol but he also had his limits.

“I was just going to have some drink here then I found you wasting your life like this. Seriously, Sehun. You need to grow up. Stop letting the past hold you back and get your together.” Luhan scolded.

Sehun sneered. “You’re trying to act all brotherly again. You said you won’t bother me anymore if I talked to Sae Hee. Well, I did and I decided to move on with life. But life just won’t let me off the hook, would it?”

Luhan’s forehead creased; he was confused by Sehun’s answer. “What’s wrong with you?” And then an idea hit him. “Is this about Jung Daesom? I warned you before, right? Look at what she’s doing to you.”

A scowl appeared on Sehun’s face. “How exactly do you know her, Luhan? And why the hell are you concerning yourself with me?”

“I can’t just leave you alone. I’m supposed to take care of you.”

“Shouldn’t you hate me as well? I’m the reason why your life ed up before, right?”

Luhan’s eyes turned glassy and he averted his gaze. “It wasn’t your fault, Sehun.”

“But you also blamed me before that’s why you left without saying a word, right?”

Five years ago, Luhan’s mother filed a divorce against her husband. Luhan started to change since then and he stopped talking to Sehun. Sehun didn’t understand why until Luhan suddenly left to study abroad.

A few days later after Luhan’s departure, Sehun’s father died in a car accident. But he didn’t die alone. Apparently, he was with his mistress and they planned to run away together. And that mistress was Luhan’s mother.

Luhan probably hated him because Sehun was the son of the man who destroyed his parents’ marriage. He tried to understand but he couldn’t help but resent Luhan, too. Luhan’s mother was also probably the reason why his father never loved him and his mother.

“I left because that was the only escape I saw for myself. I didn’t want to hate you, too, that was why I distanced myself. But I came back because my father wished for me to look after you. We never blamed you for anything, Sehun. You’re a victim like me.” Luhan carefully explained.

Sehun just scoffed. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity, Sehun. And if it is, then you should stop being so pathetic.”

Sehun could just laugh at how wretched his life had been. His father’s death was the start of everything. Sehun thought that he and his mother could finally be happy and free but he was wrong. His mother used to be so attentive and caring for him; even if she would get beaten up her husband, she still tried to put a smile on her face for Sehun to see.

But she became a whole different person when Sehun’s father died. She became unreachable; she rarely talked or ate. It was like she died herself. It was like she forgot that she still had a son. He thought it was just a phase because after all, she lost the other half of her life even if his father was an unfaithful bastard.

A year passed after his father’s death and Sehun still hoped that the most important woman in his life would come back. But then a day after the first death anniversary, he found her hanging from the ceiling with a rope around her neck.

It was the worst memory Sehun ever had and he was unable to forget about it. It haunted him every night in his dreams that he was unable to sleep for weeks. Sehun felt like everything crushed around him and nothing would ever be the same again.

On the day of her funeral, the police came to see Sehun and gave him a suicidal letter that they found. Sehun was reluctant to read it, but he wanted to make some sense on why his mother did that. And the moment he read it, he wished he ne