Taehyun was at the college library, his nose buried deep in his book and did not notice the fresh cup of steaming coffee placed on his desk. 

“Don’t you want to take a break?” 

He peeled his eyes away from the book to look up at the person who spoke, Mino was smiling at him, waiting for an answer. 

“Aren’t you going to study? Don’t you have a paper tomorrow?” he asked instead of answering. Mino must have gotten up from his seat at least 10 times during the two hours they had sat together in the library. He seemed to have no interest in studying at all. Taehyun also caught the boy staring more than once, chin propped up in his hand like Taehyun is the only remotely interesting thing Mino could find, which made Taehyun blush endlessly and delegated Mino to the task of getting coffee as a punishment. 

“I don’t need to study when I have all my inspiration right here.” 

Taehyun didn’t know what he wanted to do more, beat his boyfriend silly or kiss him senseless. Neither of them were good options at the moment, so he resorted to just biting his lower lip and thought of an appropriate retort. 

“You have theoretical subjects too.” 

“Nobody really cares about that. Just let me assist you with your studies. I’m at your service.” Mino offered with a bow. 

“You’re just distracting me.” 

Mino’s face fell at that and Taehyun wanted to kick himself for that. But it was the truth. With Mino around him he had to fight the urge to leave his books and spend the day doing something else, or someone else. Taehyun quickly shook off the unwanted thoughts that crossed his mind and his face in his palms. 

=Before he could apologise and explain himself, Mino’s phone was vibrating on the desk. Saved by the bell, he thought as Mino answered it. 

“What? ! Why?” 

Mino’s voice went above the noise limit admitted in the library, and Taehyun stood up from his chair to tell him to tone it down but he saw the look on Mino’s face and stopped.  

“So where are you now?” Mino was already packing up his things as he spoke on the phone. Now Taehyun was really worried but he didn’t dare disrupt the phone call. 

“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Mino hung up the phone and hastened to pick up his backpack.  

“What’s going on?” Taehyun  in Mino’s line of vision, demanding an answer. 

“Seunghoon-hyung is at the hospital, it seems things got serious.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I’m not sure. I will call you later okay?” 

“I’m coming with you,” Taehyun decided, packing up his own books and stuffed them in his bag. 

“You have to study.” 

“Who cares about that now? And we can go in my bike. It will be faster.” Taehyun would not take No for an answer and led the way outside. 

.

.

.

At the hospital, Krystal was waiting for them at the entrance. Mino jumped off to talk to her while Taehyun went to look for parking space. When he reached the two again they were already surrounded by Seungyoon and Jinwoo.  

“How is he?” 

“I don’t know yet. Minzy is with him right now.” Krystal answered. 

“What happened?” 

“He went in for the check-up but apparently it was appendicitis and I think it’s pretty bad coz the doctor mentioned surgery.” 

“Surgery?” 

They were all sitting in the waiting room and the small room was quickly filled, with Zico, P.O. and Kyung joining the group and Sulli came with Choiza. Jongsuk was also there and Baekhyun with Taeyeon. They were on a date when Seunghoon’s news was announced in kakaotalk. 

Minzy came out of the Doctor’s room and saw everyone there waiting. 

“What are you all doing here?” 

“We heard Seunghoon needed surgery. What happened?” 

“They said his appendix was about to burst.” 

“Oh my g… Is he going to be okay?” 

“Is he going to die?” 

“Don’t say such things now.” 

Everyone started talking at once until Minzy frantically raised a hand to calm them all down and explained. “The pain was becoming unbearable and he finally agreed to go the hospital and it seemed we were almost late coz it could have burst any minute now.” 

“But it’s surgery. That’s a big deal.” 

“Will he be okay?” 

“When is the surgery?” 

“Did someone call his parents?” 

Everyone started talking again at once. “I will call them,” Mino decided, taking out his phone to dial when Minzy stopped him. 

“He doesn’t want to bother them. It’s a simple procedure. Doesn’t take more than an hour,” Minzy explained. 

“But what if complications happen?” Zico asked. 

“I’m calling them anyway,” Mino decided. 

“But he doesn’t want…” 

“They should know.” 

“Tell them its nothing to worry about. We are just informing them what’s going on with their son,” Zico explained to Mino who was dialing Seunghoon’s parents’ number. 

“When is the surgery?” 

“He has to stay overnight tonight for observation, and he can’t eat or drink. I think surgery will be tomorrow. You guys can go home, it’s okay,” Minzy said as she took a seat. It was evident she was tired. 

“Can we see him?” 

“Can we stay with him?” 

“All of you?” 

“I want to stay.” 

“Me too.” 

“Yeah I can stay.” 

“Don’t you need to study Minzy?” 

“Its okay, I can study in the hospital.” 

“Will Seunghoon be able to study?” 

“I bet you guys forgot to take your books.” 

“Shall we go get them for you?” 

“We can take turns staying with him.” 

“The hospital won’t allow this many visitors.” 

“Can we sneak in?” 

“I wanna see him.” 

“Let’s ask the nurse,” someone decided, and they all turned in the direction of the nurse’s station, mentally deciding which one of them they could talk to. 

One nurse walked past the visitor’s lounge and Krystal latched onto her, asking her if they can go see their friend. She informed them they can go see him. She probably wanted to get rid of the group as they were making a lot of noise in the waiting room. 

The whole gang made their way to Seunghoon’s room, their friend was looking at them with bleary eyes and the hugest of smiles. 

“What the hell guys!” his eyes went wide as he saw one friend after another entering his room. 

“ man! Why did you have to scare us like that?” Seungyoon started. 

“Yeah, , you should have gone the first moment you got sick,” Mino wailed. 

“Hey! Hey! I’m a patient.” 

“Only because you’re dumb,” P.O. piped up with a worried frown on his forehead. 

“And all that alcohol. I am sure that elevated the symptoms,” Zico added. 

“You guys are the worst visitors,” Seunghoon complained, his eyes searching Minzy’s for comfort. 

“Whatever man. Tell us what you need. We’ll bring them over,” Seungyoon clapped his hands together. 

“I am going to request the nurse to allow more than one person to stay with you,” Zico decided. 

“Books? Stationery? Laptop? What do you need?” 

“Guys, one at a time,” Seunghoon groaned but the smile never left his eyes. He told them what he needed. They decided some of them had to leave the room because it was too crowded and there was barely space to breathe. Seungyoon and Jinwoo went back to the campus with Minzy to get the stuff they required for a hospital stay. Mino and Taehyun stayed behind with Seunghoon in the hospital room. 

Zico used his wiles to convince the nurse that they needed more than one person to stay the night because they had to do a group study for their exams. And when everyone had gathered they made a timetable on who will stay with Seunghoon and what time, according to their exam schedule, huddling close in the visitor’s lounge away from Seunghoon, because he would tell them he didn’t need to be babysat if he knew. 

Mino, Zico, Minzy, P.O., Krystal, Sulli and Kyung all had exams the next day since they all take a similar course. Seungyoon and Jinwoo also had exams in the evening, which left only Taehyun free the whole day. The respective partners of the group offered their services, but they were new, and not wholly integrated into the group’s dynamics. 

Taehyun did not hesitate to inform them he was available, Mino turned towards him surprised. Taehyun told him it was okay with his eyes, and Mino’s own eyes lit up with gratitude. 

It was decided that Seungyoon and Jinwoo will spend the night with Seunghoon and Taehyun will relieve them in the morning until the others come back from their exams, and the group dispersed. Minzy was particularly sad that she would not be there during the operation which was scheduled for the morning, and she kept looking at Taehyun as if she wanted to say something. 

Taehyun could not help but notice her nervousness. “It will be okay,” he said holding onto her arm as they were leaving the hospital. Minzy stopped biting the nail of her thumb and turned with hopeful eyes towards Taehyun. 

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. You said it was a simple procedure,” Mino added trying to reassure the girl with a smile. 

"Promise me you won’t leave his side?” Minzy took Taehyun’s hand in hers, squeezing it. 

“I promise. You just have to concentrate on your exam. I will keep you all updated through the group chat,” Taehyun assured her and Minzy left with the other girl in a cab. 

Mino and Taehyun made their way to the parking lot where Taehyun had parked his bike, shuffling along with heavy footsteps. The sun had already set and the streetlights paved the way for them. Taehyun could sense that Mino was worried from the frown he sported. “It will be okay,” he mumbled, lacing their fingers together to give his boyfriend support. He knew how much the older boy meant to Mino. The side of Mino’s lips quirked up as he looked at their conjoined hands. 

“Will you be okay though? Will you be able to study in the hospital?” 

“I can study anywhere if I put my mind to it, don’t worry,” Taehyun smiled, and it was true. His mind drifted back to his childhood briefly and he knew that for a fact. He can study even with loud arguments happening in the next room, or while carrying a crying baby in his arms, his brother.  

“Okay.” 

“Are you coming back with me to the apartment or…?” They have reached the place where he parked his bike, and Mino had stopped in his tracks. 

“I think I will stay at the dorm tonight, I have to go with everyone to the exam hall anyway.” 

“All right. Good luck for tomorrow. You will need it since you haven’t studied at all,” Taehyun joked.  

“Yeah… thanks. Well goodnight then,” Mino smiled. 

“Umm… you have to let go of my hand so I can go,” Taehyun said pointing at their joined hands, the corner of his lips dancing with amusement. 

Mino looked to where Taehyun pointed as if he didn’t know what Taehyun was talking about, and Taehyun watched as realization slowly dawned on the boy’s face. But Mino still did not let go of his hand and instead lifted it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss while his eyes never left Taehyun’s face. 

Taehyun felt his insides squirm as he held Mino’s gaze, his breath momentarily suspended. He always found himself completely caught by surprise with everything that Mino does to him, and he had to keep reminding himself that this is what being in love felt like. He chided himself in his head for preventing himself from falling in love all those years, but then again, maybe Mino was supposed to be his first love all along. 

“You are a wonderful person,” Mino mumbled, seemingly out of nowhere. However, Taehyun suspected that Mino was happy because he was getting along with his friends. He had never felt his heart so full at having made someone else happy. 

Taehyun could not help himself anymore and pulled Mino in for a kiss, the kind of kiss that said what words could not convey, the kind that left the lungs empty of air. Mino’s hands naturally made their way to Taehyun’s head, holding him on both sides as he pushed in deeper. Taehyun’s hands found their place on Mino’s waist, their hips perfectly aligned. 

They broke away at the same time, panting harshly in the cold air as they stared at each other. Mino was the first to break the smile when a broad grin formed in his face, his perfect teeth in full view. Taehyun could not help but mirror that smile, giddy with happiness and a giggle escaped his throat. 

“I… I will see you tomorrow then… after… after your exam?” Taehyun said as he lifted a long leg over the bike. He had felt his knees getting jittery, he needed to get his feet off the ground before he lands on his knees at Mino’s feet. 

“Yeah,” Mino replied with a hand scratching the back of his head, a sheepish smile adorning his face. 

Taehyun tried to take a deep breath as inconspicuous as he could, not wanting to let Mino know how much the boy affected him. He took in a lungful of air before he puts on his helmet, and he can feel the shuddering breath leave his mouth, hot and heavy. He finally the ignition and turned towards Mino again, wishing the smiling boy luck again before he disappeared off the parking lot, but his eyes still continued to watch the boy from the side-view mirror. 

. 

. 

. 

Taehyun arrived early at the hospital like he is won’t to do. Seungyoon and Jinwoo greeted him from between their books, he almost wished he had offered to stay last night too since the couple looked worn out. But he knew the others would not have agreed anyway, the whole gang were practically fighting each other on who gets to stay with Seunghoon last night. 

“How are you?” he asked the patient on the bed as he settled his things while Seungyoon and Jinwoo prepared to leave. 

“Hungry,” Seunghoon smiled. 

“What time is the operation again?” 

“In two hours,” Seunghoon replied. 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Jinwoo asked Seunghoon with a worried face, looking from Taehyun to Seunghoon. 

“No… no,” Seunghoon was adamant. “You have exams to give. Don’t make me kick you out of here.” 

“Fine,” Jinwoo acquiesced and turned to Taehyun. “Let us know if anything happens okay.” 

“Sure,” Taehyun said and took a seat on the chair in the corner, leaving his bad on the table next to it. The couple finally left

after Seunghoon practically shooed them away. 

“I am just going to read, I suggest you do the same,” Seunghoon told Taehyun and picked up his textbook that was lying open on the bed. Taehyun merely nodded and opened his backpack to take out his books.

They sat there in silent camaraderie the next few hours. There were no complications happening with Seunghoon either until the nurses came to prep him for surgery and Taehyun went along. 

Without a word, Seunghoon held on to Taehyun’s hand as they wheeled him along. “If you tell the others I got scared, you’re dead,” Seunghoon warned making Taehyun laugh. The nurse assured Seunghoon that it was okay to be scared, everybody gets scared, and that he was going to be just fine. 

Taehyun waited outside the Operation Room door, keeping his fingers crossed hoping there won’t be any complications with the procedure.

Finally, an unconscious Seunghoon was wheeled out and the nurse told him that the surgery was a success. Taehyun quickly typed in the good news to their group chat to tell the news to everyone, even though some of them were in examination halls. He sat by the bedside with his nose buried in his books and about an hour later the general anesthesia seemed to be wearing off and Seunghoon started stirring, mumbling something. Taehyun scooted closer to see if the older boy needed anything. Seunghoon suddenly opened his eyes then, making Taehyun back off in surprise. 

“Hey,” Seunghoon greeted with a smile. “I’m alive.” 

Taehyun could not help but laugh at the boy. “Yes. You’re alive. Surgery went well,” he informed the patient. “How are you feeling?” 

“Alive,” Seunghoon replied simply. 

“As if you would have died on that table. It was just appendectomy,” Taehyun mocked in good humor. 

“Hey, you never know okay,” Seunghoon defended himself, grumbling. His eyes were beginning to close again, still drowsy.  

“Do you want me to call your parents for you?” 

“It’s okay,” Seunghoon mumbled with his eyes closed and his voice drifted away and Taehyun couldn’t hear more. He settled himself back in his seat to allow the guy to sleep but he heard him talk again so he leaned in to listen. “I have a confession to make to Taehyun.” 

Taehyun thought he heard the words wrong, but he was filled with curiosity. “Yes? What is it?” 

“What’s what?” Seunghoon mumbled, eyes still closed. 

“You have a confession to make to me, Taehyun,” he prodded. 

“Ah, yes. I hacked into his information in the university files,” Seunghoon replied. A feeling of dread and something more began to overtake Taehyun. He didn’t understand why. He didn’t think there was anything bad written in his files, unless… He should be angry at Seunghoon for breaching his privacy, for taking information without asking, but he wasn’t angry, not really. He was instead filled with alarm because for Seunghoon to mention he needed to confess must mean he found out something about him, and he did keep some secrets from Mino. 

“What did you find out?” Taehyun asked but there was no answer. He gently prodded Seunghoon, the need to know was overwhelming. Seunghoon did not wake up, and Taehyun had to let go of his curiosity to let the patient sleep. 

His phone started buzzing with incoming messages after a while, and he realized Mino and the others had finished their exams for the day and they were informing him that they were on their way to the hospital. 

Taehyun marveled at the way Mino’s friendships worked. He had never been part of a group before, not like this, and he never felt the need to belong anywhere. However, seeing this close-knit group of friends coming together, working as a unit was quite extraordinary to him. It was amusing almost, for them to be so terribly worried about a simple procedure as this, even going so far as to consider not giving their exams just to stay with their friend, even though there was nothing they could do but wait. It must be a nice feeling, he thought and then realized, it was a nice feeling, because they had welcomed him wholeheartedly into the group. He wished it would last, but he quickly banished the thought. His acceptance in the group was only through Mino, and if something were to happen between them, he only knew too well what was going to happen. 

Seunghoon woke up before the gang arrived, and he smiled as they filed in the room one by one. They made themselves comfortable in every space they could find to rest their weary shoulders. Taehyun welcomedhis tired looking boyfriend with a smile and open arms as Mino made a beeline for him and seated himself on the younger’s lap.  

“How was your exam?” 

“As good as it can get,” Mino beamed as he planted a kiss on the top of Taehyun’s head, vaguely disguised as mere taking in of his scent. 

Once the good wishes were finished, the noise died down and Taehyun excused himself to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat for everyone, thinking they must be hungry after rushing here straight after their exams. 

He came back to the room to see everyone had fallen asleep in really awkward positions. Minzy had curled up next to Seunghoon on the hospital bed, Zico and P.O. slept on the bed meant for the visitors and Kyung had sat on the floor with his head resting at the foot of the bed where Zico and P.O. slept. Mino and Sulli had cramped themselves next to each other on the chair with their heads resting on each other as they dozed off. Krystal had curled up at the foot of Seunghoon’s bed. Taehyun figured they must have crammed the whole night without getting a chance to sleep. 

He looked over to Seunghoon’s bed to see the boy staring back at him, amusement evident in his face. “They just dropped dead one by one,” he told Taehyun, his voice a mere whisper so as to not wake the others. 

“I guess I will just wait outside till they wake up,” Taehyun said as he found there wasn’t space for him to even sit. He placed the food and drinks on the table and turned to go. 

“Wait,” Seunghoon called out, making him turn back. “I wanna go outside.” 

“But…” 

“I asked the nurse, it's okay. You can help me walk,” Seunghoon said. Taehyun didn’t believe him, but he didn’t voice out his concern. “Please? I am not used to lying down for long periods like this,” Seunghoon begged. 

Taehyun contemplated a while and then decided. “A wheelchair at least? I am sure that will be okay.” 

“Fine. Don’t tell them I just had an operation though, maybe you can use your charm a little to persuade a pretty nurse.” 

“What charm?” Taehyun scoffed as he walked out, but he did put on what he considered his nicest face to ask for a wheelchair, and it went better than expected. 

“What charm, huh?” Seunghoon  when he re-entered the room with the wheelchair. Taehyun helped him get off the bed. It was a difficult task, trying not to wake the two girls sleeping on the bed as well as caring for the stitches and the saline drip that was connected to Seunghoon’s hand.  

Taehyun finally wheeled him out safely from the room, and Seunghoon took a deep breath as soon as they were outside, thanking Taehyun profusely. 

“Where do you wanna go?” Taehyun asked. 

“Anywhere this wheelchair can go. Maybe near those trees?” Seunghoon pointed to the distance and Taehyun pushed him there without a word. 

They reached the shade of a tree which helped block the harsh afternoon sun from them. Taehyun stood leaning against the tree, waiting for further instructions from Seunghoon. 

“I’m sorry to make you wheel me around,” Seunghoon said. He stretched his limbs from his seat and looked around, looking happy to be outside even though he has not been inside the hospital for even a day. 

“It's okay,” Taehyun assured him. What Seunghoon said to him earlier stayed in his mind, and he thought he was lucky he got to be alone with the guy again.  

“I realized you and I never really talk a lot with each other,” Seunghoon started, trying to make conversation. It was true. Taehyun had always been the most awkward around Seunghoon in the group. He never really asked himself why, but now that he thought about it, he realized he was always wary of Seunghoon because he always looked as if he can see right through Taehyun. 

“I guess so,” Taehyun mumbled, a little lost in his thoughts. He wondered if all the questions Seunghoon directed at him at the Halloween party had anything to do with Seunghoon’s confession. 

“How’s your preparation for your exam?” 

“Good, I guess.” 

“And everything is going well with Mino I presume?” Seunghoon started on familiar territory. Mino was the only thing the two of them have in common anyway. 

Taehyun smiled at the mention of Mino’s name, and quickly checked himself. He looked at Seunghoon then, and realized the boy had not missed it. “Yes. We’re good.” 

“He talks about you all the time you know,” Seunghoon smiled and Taehyun’s eyebrows raised at that. “I’m not kidding. Its always ‘Taehyun and I’ these days its getting ridiculous,” Seunghoon laughed and winced at the slight jab under his rib. 

“I know you care about him,” Taehyun started on the subject he had been meaning to ask, it was now or never. 

"Yeah. He is like a brother to me.” 

“Did he ask you to hack into my personal file?” he asked even though he already knew the answer. Mino would never do something like that. 

Seunghoon looked startled and stared at Taehyun, mouth parted awkwardly. He didn’t speak right away, making Taehyun think he was looking for excuses. 

“You…” 

“How did you know?” Seunghoon finally spoke as Taehyun opened his mouth. 

“You told me, in your anesthesia-induced sleep,” Taehyun informed him. The situation was as absurd as it was scary. 

Seunghyun looked like he wanted to hit himself, and Taehyun simply watched as the gears turned in the guy’s head. Seunghoon was probably thinking how much he knows, and how much he should confess. He seemed to have made a decision and turned back towards Taehyun. “I think I remember that. I thought it was a dream. And no, Mino did not ask me to get your information,” he said what Taehyun already knew. 

“But you know, you have always known…” 

“Yes. I hacked into the system as soon as Mino told us he had a crush on you, before you even knew he existed. I wasn’t gonna stop him from experiencing life.” 

“But you didn’t think we would get this far.” It was a statement. It was evident. 

“No. I didn’t even think you would give him your time of day, considering how stuck-up you seemed. No offence.” 

“None taken,” Taehyun smiled. He did act very horribly towards Mino’s friends in the beginning. “And you haven’t told him anything?” 

“I thought you should be the one to do that.” 

It was true. He should have told Mino a long time ago. “What if I don’t?” 

“Its your relationship. You do whatever you think is best. As a friend I have resigned myself to picking up the pieces if it comes to worst.”  

Taehyun didn’t have a proper response to that. 

“Will Mino be left in pieces?” 

Taehyun didn’t have an answer to that either.  

*****

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-William Carlos Williams