Finally, I saw Misaki at school and I am so happy to see her but my elated feelings didn’t last once I’ve read her actions. I walked up to her and greeted her with my big hug but she just nodded at me and walks away, she didn’t even hug me back. She sat at me as far as possible in our every lesson like as if I have the most infectious disease. She might not give me dagger looks but I can read the sign clearly, my company is not wanted.

            I kept finding time to corner her and explain everything to her. I wanted to tell her how silly we’ve been both acting and it wasn’t in our characters of arguing over a boy. I’m not even competing with Haku’s attention; I’m in love with Toushiro. I followed her discreetly wherever she went, I felt like a stalker and she’s always with a company. Her cheerleading company to be exact and I can’t bear to watch her giggle with senseless jokes. I know she’s doing this to annoy me because whenever she laughs, she’ll take a look at me to make sure I’m looking.

            Her actions were talking its toll on me and I just wanted to drag her away with her new friends but I held myself back because I don’t want her to be angrier at me. I contented myself in thinking that she’s okay and nothing’s happened to her in the last few days that I haven’t seen her.

            Misaki is hanging out in a park bench under an oak tree with her cheerleading company and I sat opposite of where they were hanging out, trying yet again to capture her attention. I pretended to read my book and tried to drown their fake laughter and idiotic jokes until a shadow fell over me.

            I looked up and saw that it was Toushiro. My mood immediately picked up with the mere presence of him and I stood up to give him a hug. My smile faltered when I saw that he wasn’t smiling, instead his face looked sad again. My heart’s like being squeezed tight whenever I see him sad, like he’s been bearing the sadness all his life and it was one of days when I felt like I’m going to lose him.

            “Toushiro-kun, daijobu desuka?” I asked trying to read his expression. In his hand he carries the white scarf I gave him.

            “Hai.” he answered quietly. Misaki and her friends were silent like they’re listening to what we’ve been talking about and when I took a quick glance I saw that Misaki is looking straight at me.

            “Why are you sad then?” I asked Toushiro trying to focus on him.

            “Nothing…I just have to tell you something.” he whispered.

            “Would you like to talk about someplace else?” I asked trying to not desperately grab his hand lead him away from the prying eyes of others.

            “No. It will be…uh…quick.” Toushiro said looking me in the eyes.

            “What is it then?” I said trying to smile at him.

            “I have to give this back to you.” he said handing the scarf back at me.

            “Why?” I asked confused. “I gave this to you already.”

            “It’s not for me to keep.” he said shaking his head.

            “I thought we’re already okay.” I said my voice breaking.

            He looked at me as if in pain, “I’ve been bringing you down a lot and it’s been selfish of me to ask you as much as this. Now, I’m just hurting you for doing this.”

            “I don’t understand.” I said choking back a sob.

            “I can’t be that guy for you.” he said helplessly.

            “I’m not asking anything like that.” I replied.

            “I know, and I’m afraid that’s what I want.” Toushiro said.

            I looked up at him and my heart gave a hopeful beat. “What?”

            He took a deep breath and said, “I wanted more than your friendship but even if I want that and even if you do want it too. It just can’t be.”

            “W-why?” I asked.

            “I don’t think I can bear it if I hurt you again.” he said in a heavy voice.

            His words weren’t making sense and I struggle to keep up. “You’ve never hurt me.”

            He just shook his head like as if telling me that I don’t know what I’m talking about. He took my hand and put the scarf on it. I held on it tightly and I hope I can do the same with his hand.

            “I hope I can stay by your side.” he murmured softly.

            “You can but you won’t.” I said my heart in pain.

            “In three days time I will be gong back to America.” Toushiro said delivering me more bad news.

            “Why do you have to go?” I asked my voice a little louder.

            “I have to go because that’s the right thing to do.” he said simply.

            He gave me one last squeezed in the hand and walked away. I stood there watching his back praying that he will stop and walked back to me again. He didn’t even look back.

            Some of Misaki’s friend was sniggering like they’ve witnessed the most hilarious break up ever. I’ve been dumped even though I’m not his girlfriend. I looked at them and my eyes fell in Misaki. She was looking at me and my eyes welled with tears. First Misaki and now Toushiro, everyone I love is gone. Misaki opened her most as if she wanted to say something but I never heard it because I willed myself to run away from all of them.

            My feet brought me to a place that is very familiar to me. I looked down to see my mother’s grave before me.

A/N:

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