Getting Real

1. Not to date a younger man.
2. Not to date a co-worker.
3. Not to wake up later than the other man when the morning comes.

Minseok has set himself rules in having a relationship.
After constant heartaches and failures from his previous ones, he learned drawing a line between what his heart and body desires. Submitting your body to someone doesn't automatically follow that you were to give your heart too. Love and lust are not a package deal.

But since he started having a thing with Jongdae, he realized it's already too late to abide by his rules.That is the reason why he struggles to wake up before Jongdae does everytime they end up sleeping together. And that is also why he shivered a little when he woke up this morning and  find himself alone on his bed. A sudden discrete pang was felt on his chest but he managed to shook it off and calm himself.

It's the first time he overslept after spending the night with Jongdae. "It's not like the first time... this has happened to me before too." He whispered to no one as he sits up; eyes scanning the room-- looking for his clothes.

He managed to finally get up and roam around the living room when he heard a sound coming from the kitchen and the smell of breakfast lingering around the area.

He wondered when did Kai went home last night-- he thought his nephew will be out all night but considering that someone is rummaging on the kitchen, he went to check there.

"Jongin-ah, what time--- oh."

"Ah, good morning!" It's Jongdae who greeted him with a smile with holding the soup pot.

"What are you doing here?" The older one asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm planting trees," Then Jongdae laughs. "Sorry. Obviously, I'm making breakfast." He answered properly.

"I can see that." Minseok managed to utter as he sat on one of the chairs. Watching the other one while cooking.

"Are you perhaps the type who never lets others to touch their kitchen? 'Cuz if you are, then it's really rude of me--" Jongdae asked when he turned to his sunbae.

"No. It's ok. Go on. I just... I used to be the one cooking..."

"I figured that out. That's why I got a little excited when I got to woke up first. You see, you tend to be a light sleeper. You always managed to wake up before me."

I don't just tend to; I intend to. Minseok thought in his mind.

"Anyway, just wait for while, this'll be done in a minute."

"There" Jongdae put on the table a bowl of corn soup, plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, and other stuffs. He then went to sit on the chair across Minseok.

"Aren't these a little too much?"

"You! Lately, I noticed you haven't been eating properly. Like during breakfast, you only cook for me and not for yourself! So I demand you to eat all these"

"I told you I'm on a diet." the older one answered weakly.

"You're already too thin and too light! You don't need to be thinner than this" Jongdae said while taking the other's wrist.

Minseok got a little flustered but he grabbed his hand back, Jongdae just tightened his grip. "I don't want you skinny." he added.

"This is not your body so you don't have to concern yourself."

Sly smile tugged on the younger one's face, he leaned his elbows more on the table and moves his head closer to Minseok, eyes trailing the other's frame and asks, "Are you sure it's not mine?"

The latter blushed and looked away, and he sighed at finally getting the point that it's no use to continue this debate.

"Fine. Then feed me."

Jongdae's cheeks turned red. He looked down and chuckles a little. He turned to look at the man across him again and run his fingers from the corners of his own lips down to his chin. "Really, I can't win against you."

After eating, Minseok put the dishes on the sink and goes to wipe clean the table but he got a little out of balance and Jongdae catches him on time with his left arm against Minseok's chest to steady him.

"Oops."

"Thanks." As he stands by himself.

"You seem a little exhausted, sunbae."

"Yeah. A dog came over last night and just can't get  s a t i a t e d  of me. It's credits to him."

Jongdae fights a laugh but he failed, He clears his throat only to leave a lingering smile over his face.

"You should keep the dog more often, sunbae."

That's what I plan to. Minseok kept in his thought.

"Aren't you going back home yet?" Minseok asked Jongdae who is sitting comfortably on his coach just as he finished washing the dishes.

"Why? It's Sunday. Besides, it's not like you're going out--"

"I'm going out and besides, it's about time Kai returns home."

"Where?"

"Supermarket."

"Then let's go together."

"What?! No..."

"Please, I don't wish to be alone here with Kai." He cracked.

Holding hands in public places was initially uncomfortable for Minseok. He is never a fan of PDA but since he started meeting with Jongdae, he finds himself getting accustomed to it.

As they were about to line for the counter in the supermarket,

"Kim Jong Dae?" Someone next to them called.

Minseok startled a bit and immediately snatched his hand back breaking from Jongdae's. Both of them spun towards the owner of the voice.

"Kyumin-ah..." Jongdae addressed the guy.

"What the-- you haven't aged at all." Kyumin teased as he elbowed the former on the chest. "And this is..." while gesturing his hand towards Minseok

"Oh, this is Minseok-ssi, a sunbaenim at work. Sunbae, this one here is Kyumin, an alien from Busan." Jongdae did a small intro.

"Yah!" the other guy whined.

Certainly, Minseok knew Jongdae would introduce him as his sunbae but he can't tear down the feeling of disappointment that on the other hand, he is not a someone of Jongdae... the only title he got is a sunbaenim. Not even a friend nor a lover.

"Please to meet you." Minseok bowed his head.

"Ah, Ye... Ah, Nice to meet you too." Kyumin answered back and he turned to Jongdae, "And you got guts calling me an alien after dumping me few years ago!" he said flatly.

Minseok felt as if a sharp knife just stabbed on his heart. He tried hard not to panic about how he is getting hurt by listening to their conversation. He's hurting, and getting irritated and god, he's jealous? He's desperately trying not to panic through all these.

"Ey, you're very happy when we called it quits!" Jongdae immediately answered back

"Of course you idiot! Imagine getting free from a big troll like you!"

"Babo..."

Kyumin then spotted Minseok and turned to him saying , "You see, this guy here is the cruelest! He's got every one convinced how much he's so into them and when he got overdosed, he starts to get tired and completely lose interest." His voice not having a single tone of bitterness or insult-- more of a mindless joke.

"Thank you. You are really my friend." Jongdae said sarcastically. 

"Welcome chingu."

"Ah..." Minseok uttered when he felt a tear dropped from his eye.

"Eh?" Kyumin initially got confused but it didn't take while until he realized

"Shoot."

"Sorry. I'll... I'll go ahead first." Minseok excused himself and run towards the exit.

". Jongdae, don't tell me---"  and his face turned pale.

"Yes, actually... aish... you!" Jongdae hurriedly answered while his eyes already following Min's steps

"Babo! you should have told me the first thing!"

"Aish; laters!" And he dashes off to follow Minseok.

"Minseok-ah, Minseok-ah!" Jongdae keeps calling but the other keeps running away.

Minseok tells himself that the mistakes are learned after he committed one and that he is an idiot if he lets the same things to happen again. And not in a chance.

"Aish. Seriously in the middle of the day. Aish" Jongdae halted and grasp for air. Both palms rested on his knees. He gathered a huge amount in his chest and shouted, "SARANGHAE!"

Minseok staggered.

"Yah! SARANGHAE KIM MINSEOK!"

Minseok finally stopped running.

"Saranghae Minseok!"

"Sara--" Minseok run back towards him, took his hands and drags him away.

Soon as Jongdae's flat's door closed, Minseok starts by, "You!"

Jongdae shifted to him "Sorry. I didn't know it'll hurt you, or if I hurt you..."

"No. You don't have to. And I'm not hurt." Minseok said back and about to reach on the door knob but Jongdae placed his left hand on it and took a step closer to him. Minseok on the other hand, conciously took a step away finally meeting his back against the door.

"Yes you are!" Jongdae said sharply.

"No! I won't let you hurt me! Not when you don't even love me!"

"What? I keep telling you I love you."

"Let's... let's just... not see each other anymore... We're dragging this for a long while now." Minseok replied, finally dropping it down.

"No way! I... I love you this much and I keep chanting it to you whenever's possible just to get an I-love-you back but not once you did. How much more? How much more love do I need to give, for you not to push me away?" Jongdae sounded frustrated. It's the first time Minseok has seen this kind of expression on him, even the tone... as if begging him.

Minseok leaned his head against the door. He placed his right palm on his forehead half covering his eyes. "You're a horrible man. You know? You're playing with me but you always treat me kindly...

"...That I even give you the permission to own my body but you keep haunting for my heart too. I hate it when I started missing you whenever you're not with me...

"...My resolve of staying as far away as possible, you keep shattering them down into pieces... and I end up assuming that perhaps you love me and I...

"...how come I'm thinking I love you..."

"I don't know. You're doing more than those to me." Jongdae whispered softly.

And he took Minseok's right hand away from the latter's face and bent a little down to kiss him lightly.

Minseok restrained his tears but he can't.

Jongdae chuckled against Minseok's lips and runs his fingers on the other guy's cheeks. He kisses him again.

I'm taking this risk that I might be hurt by you but I'm no longer afraid; because I can never ask anything but to be loved by you.
I want to love you more a little longer-- I'm letting you take eveything I have for I'm giving you all of me.
Whisper words to me at night before I fall asleep and when the morning comes, please don't just disappear.

----xoxo----
*the last few words are a line from exo's don't go

it's been 4 months! sorry for the very late update! how are you??? I hope you all are doing fine!
Thanks a lot for the subs, and for dropping by comments, lots of love to you guys!