“Luhan needs me. I’ll be right back”, the words come out of Jongin’s before he hastily pulls his pants on and rushes to the door without a last glance, failing to see the hurt and disappointment in Kyungsoo’s face.

Jongin doesn’t come back as he promised, not a call is made to explain his sudden disappearance and it’s bringing Kyungsoo to the verge of frustration  and other emotions that he sure as hell hasn’t experienced before.

Jongin just left again, just like he did during the retreat.

Just like he did when he saw Kyungsoo kissing Sehun.

What business does he have with Luhan?

Weren’t they over?

Luhan needs him. Well Kyungsoo does too not.

It’s called jealousy dumb , Kyungsoo says to himself.

Baekhyun checks up on him when he sees Jongin flying out of their apartment. He asks Kyungsoo where Jongin went.

Kyungsoo says one name, Baekhyun just gives him a sympathetic look (what else can he do?) .

 “Maybe it was an emergency”.

Baekhyun’s sentence whirs in Kyungsoo’s ears, the sound of his own voice ricochets from a proximate memory, “Let’s hurt each other, until one of us gives up”.

He wants to laugh at himself, he does it silently that even Kyungsoo himself is unable to hear it.

Kim Jongin is good at this; he is winning the game that Kyungsoo was so definite that he could win.

The phone call informs Kyungsoo to meet Sehun on their usual bubble tea place; he has been ignoring him, avoiding questions because he does not have an answer.

Kyungsoo does not have an answer that won’t break Sehun.

Sehun tells Kyungsoo to quit dating Kai.

He tells him to forget what Krystal said about taking revenge. (was it ever about that)

He tells him that Kai is a Davy Jones not a Will Turner, Kyungsoo tells him that even Davy Jones fell in love.

Sehun’s eyes widen at his words.

“You love him, hyung? It’s not fair. I love you hyung, even if you love him.”

“I love you too Sehun”, Kyungsoo says a second too fast.

“But I’m not him”, Sehun hates Kai for breaking Krystal, for taking Kyungsoo away from him in a blink of an eye, but hell, in that moment he wants to be Kim Jongin.

Sehun hugs Kyungsoo from behind when the latter starts to walk away, he whispers to his hyung how he will miss moments like this.

He will miss his scent, his narrow shoulder that cushions his chin perfectly.

He will miss the late night talks fighting over who should have died in The Fault in our Stars or who will sit in the iron throne.

“I will miss you too Sehun but it’s not like we will stop being friends”.

Sehun tells Kyungsoo that it won’t be the same because he will be thinking that he is a Peeta when in fact he is just a Gail.

Sehun knows that as they stand side by side outside of the café, cold air biting their skin, that they are sinking in a goodbye.

Although Kyungsoo thinks otherwise (Sehun wants to think that too) but Sehun needs to be left alone with his thoughts for a while.

Sehun brings Kyungsoo into his arms, chin resting on the older’s head. They stay like that for a while, just breathing each other’s scent, sharing warmth, getting a final fill of what they would miss.

Sehun looks down at Kyungsoo, he presses his lips on his forehead, to the bridge of his nose and lastly to his full lips, it’s innocent and soft, - just a small touch, it’s a kiss of a farewell.

Jongin.

That one name seeps out of Kyungsoo’s mouth even when his eyes are sealed shut.

He knows that the toned arms hugging his waist are Jongin’s.

He knows that the chest that his chest is pressed against is Jongin’s.

He knows that the warmth is radiating off Jongin’s.

He opens his eyes, ready at the sight of Jongin’s sharp features but instead a stranger faces him.

Gone is his evil smirk, the lusty black orbs completely wiped out, even the predatory air around him vanished.

Kyungsoo is seeing Jongin a different light, he wonders if he had always looked like this and Kyungsoo  just didn’t look at him better, past all the strata, beyond the playful impression.

Jongin looks serene, nearly vulnerable, lashes casting shadows on high cheekbones, nose slightly crooked, poufy mouth slightly ajar.

Kyungsoo thinks that he shouldn’t be starring, he supposed to be pushing Jongin out of bed because he hates him.

He couldn’t lift his gaze away, he doesn’t have the will to, he doesn’t want to.

Jongin stirs in his sleep, Kyungsoo becomes breathless from the way his thick lashes sluggishly flutter revealing his deep black inviting eyes. With the fear of being caught staring, Kyungsoo closes his eyes before a steady contact is made.

He could feel Jongin’s gaze on his face, he knows that his are cheeks burning in deep hue of red, the temperature getting hotter. Suddenly he is beginning to be hyper aware of his half open mouth, the disgusting hair in his nostrils.

He could feel Jongin staring at his lips, he could almost sense him wetting his lips with his tongue.

He could feel him inching closer with every second, Jongin’s warm breath gave Kyungsoo the verdict that he is just one press away and he panics. 

With closed eyes, Kyungsoo backs away, one hand covering his mouth. He knows Jongin is going to kiss him, it is always his natural instinct to pull away almost like a habit. He didn’t know the he is laying at the end of his bed, he would have landed on the floor if it weren’t for Jongin who pulls him just in time.

Jongin knows that Kyungsoo was watching him earlier. He thinks it’s cute that Kyungsoo doesn’t wanna get caught red-handed and that he is pretending to sleep just so that he could solidify that. But his little boyfriend is being so seductive even when he is (pretending) sleeping so he decided to tease the latter. But the fact that he nearly fell off the bed is purely accidental.

“Why are you covering your mouth? Afraid that im going to kiss you?”, Jongin asks, wincing because a kiss is a just a kiss, he gave him head, they are in that level already.

“Morning breath”, Kyungsoo shyly mumbles.

Jongin laughs, “You think I care about that? I thinks it’s adorable that you’re hiding something so minute so you could please me. You snore, your breath stinks, and you speak so little, I don’t care about these petty things Soo.”

Kyungsoo’s supposed to be flattered by all that but he find himself rendered disappointed.

“You say that now,” Kyungsoo sits down “But one tomorrow you’ll wake up and notice all my flaws and imperfections. You wont look at me the same way, and you’ll realize that you deserve better. But who would blame you? Luhan is perfect.”

“I think it’s cute that you’re jealous I almost don’t want to tell that he has phonopobhia but I’m telling you now because I want to be honest and maybe because I heard you say that you love Sehun, I was there.”

“Well are you gonna say anything?”, Jongin asks again “Come on say anything! Defend yourself, let’s argue for once. I’m so exhausted in being in this one-sided relationship which I willingly gone into in the first place.”

Jongin is disappointed; he wants Kyungsoo to tell him that he and Sehun kissed. Jongin ends up telling Kyungsoo that and it infuriates him more that all he gets from him is utter silence. Jongin is more than tired of being the one who loves more. ! Love?

“I’m tired of your Kyungsoo, I’m tired of getting a one word reply. I’m tired of seeing you kiss Sehun likes it’s nothing, you won’t even let me kiss you. Im tired of your stories about middle earth, im so tired that I want out. You can go to Sehun for all I care, he can listen to all your bull, kiss him like you want to, and go him if you want. I lied, Luhan doesn’t have phonophobia, I didn’t carry him, he wasn’t  bumping his head against the wall because he can’t bear hearing the noise. You think you’re gonna get under my skin, you think you’re gonna hurt me with you stunts.”

“Nobody breaks my heart Kyungsoo, you weren’t even that close to touch it”.

The door slams loud and hard, Kyungsoo won, Jongin gave up.

A/N: Hello Chinggus! im back with a lousy chapter and i feel so defeated for boring you guys with it.

I heard Sehun got injured, hope he gets well soon and be the brat that he is destined to be.  I'd gladly be his nurse but i cant be. yet..

Thank you for reading this far guys, it will end in 2-3 chapters but i'l have a new fic hopefully by then. it's going to be genderender like: girl kyungsoo, baek and luhan.

Chinggus check out my first ever genderender fic ! It's a chanbaek

bye ^^