Luhan opened his eyes and he shifted his gaze to upside and saw Sehun's jaw. Was he still in his arms? Wasn't he tired of carrying him? Luhan didn't know and to be honest didn't want to remind him such things that will make him loosen his grip and drop him to the floor. He smelled Sehun's jacket that was near Sehun's face and he recognized the smell immediately, his odor was so masculine yet sweet and Luhan wanted to suffocate himself with that smell even if that meant he was going to pass out because boy, it was worth it.

"Luhan?" he heard Sehun's concerned yet sweet voice, like he doesn't want to wake him. Luhan took his nose away from inside of his jacket and realized he just literally put his nose to his chest and smelled him, probably really loudly.

"Yes?" He said feeling really hot on his face and hoping for Sehun to not notice.

"I need to drop you for a second to open the door, is it okay?" Sehun asked, sounding concerned one more time.

Luhan nod and Sehun placed Luhan to the ground softly and that's when he realized what was happening.

"Wait wait wait, what door? Where are we? " What was he even thinking?? They were in a building and Sehun was holding keys! Did he really think Luhan was that stupid? Luhan backed away and Sehun looked hurt.

"This is my flat and it's the nearest place we can go. Just let me check out your wounds then you can go." He looked wretched and that look kind of made Luhan back away from his dirty thoughts about Sehun, maybe he was in shock and couldn't think properly yet it still made Luhan feel guilty about acting the way he did.

"Im fine, i dont need your pity." Luhan said looking at the floor, trying not to think about what just happened much.

"I'm not pitying you, I will just clean your wounds." Sehun said this time coldly and Luhan was taken aback with the sudden mood change. If Luhan was a Drama Queen then Sehun definitely was a Tsundere.

"We can go to a hospital for that." Luhan tried again, still not wanting to spend alone time with Sehun.

"You do realize I'm a med student right?"

Luhan cursed mentally for forgetting that, of course the almighty perfect Oh Sehun was going to be a doctor, what was he even expecting?

This time Sehun didn't wait for another excuse from Luhan and opened the door to his flat. Luhan flinched when he tried to take a step into the flat, his ribs hurt painfully and his vision blurred with pain, he saw some black dots and immediately hold onto the door trying to gain his balance again. He started to breath slowly to calm himself down not wanting to think about what happened. When he looked up he saw Sehun was nowhere to be found so he get in and slumped down to the couch at the living room, at least that's what Luhan hoped since he couldn't look the surrounding of him but just walked straight to the nearest thing he can sit.

Luhan looked at his hands and saw his left hand had some dry blood on it and his right hand had a big scar probably happened when he tried to protect his face from hitting the floor but failing miserably. Now he was curious about his other parts too, like what was his face looking like now? Oh boy, he must have look miserable thinking about the fact Sehun was taking him to his home to clean him and look at his 'wounds', Luhan didn't even know what wounds he was talking about!

"Luhan?" he heard Sehun yelling his name.

"Here." Luhan said and when he saw Sehun he looked both relieved and sad at the time. Luhan noticed the first aid kit at Sehun's hand and tensed without wanting to.

"It's okay, i will try my best to not hurt you." Sehun said and sit down next to Luhan. Sehun looked at Luhan's eyes and they didn't speak for a minute or so, just staring at each other and Luhan couldnt help but examine the boys face again and when he realized Sehun was doing the same he realized his situation. Sehun was looking at the scars and wounds on his face while Luhan just eat Sehun with his eyes. He wanted to hit himself for being such an idiot but a part of him wanted to believe Sehun was looking at him longingly too.

"Okay now, I'm just going to clean the blood and it might hurt but I will be quick." Sehun said and brought a thick cotton tissue from the kit and poured something that smells really strong on it, was it alcohol? Luhan didn't want to ever drink alcohol again.

Luhan flinched when Sehun started to clean his face, the places that the tissue passed burned and Luhan felt his eyes watering, he wanted to believe it was because of the strong smell, not because he was such a to cry because of a tissue.

"So," Sehun asked while he changed the tissue because the other one was looking both red and brown at the same time "how exactly did you get into a fight?" He looked at Luhan and Luhan was sure he was angry and sad at the same time, but mostly angry much to Luhan's pleasure.

"Uuuhm," Luhan said trying to find a way to start his story, he fliched when Sehun's hand wandered up to his neck and Sehun murmured sorry then went back to cleaning his neck "We were at the bar with my friends." Luhan said finally, trying to ignore the tickle forming up on his neck.

"Yes, I figured that out." Sehun said coldly and Luhan felt guilty for some reason, he felt like he was a child who is getting scolded. Sehun didn't have the right to do so! Why would Luhan even be sorry about something he had the right to do! He was not in highschool for God sake!

"And we drinked a little bit too much. So Baek went to the bathroom and Minhye went after some guy and I was alone, so I thought some fresh air would be good." Luhan continued ignoring Sehun's piercing gaze.

"Turn over." Sehun asked and Luhan did as he told so. He felt Sehun looking at his scalp and saw some red hair on his hands, his hair must be falling, Luhan thought but choose to ignore it.

"Then I saw these guys who were messing around with a black kitten, throwing their beers at it and I couldn't take it. OUCH!" Luhan yelled and turned to Sehun which the boy immediately turned his face again trying to look at his head properly. Luhan was almost sure he pressed too hard just for his own liking.

"Anyway," Luhan said emphasizing the word and sounding annoyed "I told them not to do it, they throw me to a wall and tried to rob me so I threw my jacket at one of them to distract them and ran away." Luhan said and Sehun told him to face him again. Luhan did so but his ribs hurt like hell again and he saw some black dots at the air.

Sehun cursed loudly much to Luhan's surprise and he looked red. Luhan wanted to ask what was wrong, is it something he done but choose not to.

"Can you, err, can you please took of your shirt?" Sehun asked this time his face reddening even more and when their gazes meet Luhan was as embarrassed as Sehun was. He tried to took off his shirt but his right arm and left rib hurt so much he had to stop and groan loudly. Sehun told him to wait a second and he was back in a second with a thick blanket and a scissor.

"Are you going to-" Luhan asked looking at the scissor with wide eyes, his mind was swirling around with so many thoughts right now and some of them were not that so innocent but he was starting to panic now.

"Do you mind?" Sehun asked with a monotone tone that Luhan almost asked him how many people he asked to cut their clothes into pieces before, but he bit his tongue and nod, not trusting himself with words.

Sehun came closer and put the blanket around Luhan, once again Luhan smelled his chest but this time more in a disguise and when Sehun started to cut his shirt, his beloved green long sleeved shirt, Luhan started to talk again.

"So they chased me but I managed to stitch them up." Luhan said trying not to sound so proud but couldn't help it to do so.

"But,"he continued "I forgot about the other guy with the leather jacket and well you probably know the rest." He said and stopped talking. Sehun was done with the shirt now and Sehun helped Luhan to took off the shirt. When he was in front of Luhan again they both looked at his stomach. Luhan saw a few bruises were looking red and his right rib looked a little bit more in a lilac tone. Luhan was glad nothing important was done and when he was going to smile at Sehun, Luhan saw his face. He backed away immediately because of instinct.

Sehun's eyes looked like a mad mans and his fists were clenched either side of his body. His torso was shaking and Luhan was sure he heard a growl coming from his chest. When Luhan was going to say something he heard Sehun's cold, silent yet strong words.

"I should have killed him."

"What are you talking about." Luhan asked when he shake away the shock and tried to sound reasonable.

"I should have killed him for touching you." Sehun said again and looked at Luhan's eyes. Luhan never saw someone so angry before, his eyes looked as shiny as rubies and it was all black, his pupil as big as his clenched fists.

"Don't be ridiculous." Luhan said trying to sound bossy to stop Sehun looking like that.

"Im so sorry I couldn't protect you from that." Sehun said and lowered his head so low that Luhan only could see the middle of his head. His voice sounded so guilty and so full of regret Luhan couldnt help but move his hand to his face to caress it before he can even understand what was happening.

"Shh, it's not your fault. If its anyones fault then it's Chanyeol for fricking asking Baekhyun to marry him and making him go all lunatic." Luhan said trying to gain some smile from Sehun but no such thing happened.

"I'm so sorry for not be able to protect you. I should have known better, all this time I should have known better." Sehun said and when he looked at Luhan he saw one tear following down right to Luhan's hand. Luhan was shocked and didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to react to that. What was he going to do? Hug him? Tell him its not his fault? But Luhan knew he wasn't just talking about tonight and couldn't make himself to say such words that he didn't believe.

Sehun quickly wiped away the one tear from right eye and get up.

"I should go and..." He said and started to walk towards to the door not daring to look into Luhan's eyes.

"Wait!" Luhan yelled and get up, feeling the pain on his rib again, groaning loudly. Sehun was right next to him in a second holding his arm to not let him fall

"No, you should be resting." Sehun said but Luhan ignored him, looking right into his eyes.

"I won't sit until you explain what you just said." He said boldly and looked dead in Sehun's eyes. If there was one thing that never changed about Luhan was, that was his stubbornness. He could have wait there all night even if that meant he was going to get hospitalized.

"Explain what?" Sehun asked although he knew what Luhan was talking about, he just hang onto the last piece of hope but quickly let it go when Luhan looked at him fiercely.

Sehun sighed like he was admitting defeat. "At least can we sit down before I explain? I will explain, I promise." Sehun said when he saw Luhan's suspicious gaze but still managed to make Luhan sit at the same place.

"Okay now, I'm going to explain everything to you. I know I'm an idiot and I know I hurt you so many times before that we wouldn't even have the time for me to say how terribly sorry I am for all of them." Sehun said and looked at Luhan with pleading eyes.

"It's a good start, go on." Luhan said not breaking his poker face.

"Just dont talk and listen to me okay? I don't know if I can talk if you interrupt me, I don't know if I have that courage."

Luhan nod and Sehun continued.

"I always had feelings for you back in highschool. I thought it was a simple and innocent friend crush so when we become friends I was more than happy. We would eat together play together study together and I enjoyed every single thing we did together. I would tell the funny stories we had to the dinner table and everyone would laugh and I never wanted to hide you from anyone else, since you were my precious friend."

"Then you kissed me and I didn't know how my best friend could do that and the worst part was how I could enjoy that?" Sehun lowered his head again and sighed loudly, trying to find the words to continue again.

"I denied I could have such feelings for you. Do you know my parents are religious? We grew up with our mother telling stories about how people who don't do what God say will burn in hell and how being gay was a sickness that should be prevented. So I think about that all that night and when I kissed the other girl next morning I felt nothing but disgust. It wasn't like how it was with you, how butterflies ran away in my stomach and how rings bell in my ears and how soft your lips was and how perfectly it fit with mine."

Luhan blushed to the last part but didn't say anything.

"So I went next to you and we started to date. It was the best months of my whole life. The worst part was how I couldn't tell anyone about my precious friend become my precious boyfriend. I wanted to tell everyone how lucky I was to have you and how you loved me back was a miracle. But I couldnt. You can call me a coward and an idiot for not standing up for my love but I couldn't do it, not when my mother didn't want me to see you anymore because your mother told her you are gay. I couldn't help but obey, telling my mother we were not friends anymore and enjoyed the fact we were really not friends but lovers so I Wasn't exactly lying to her."

"But then the thing at the locker happened, I never mentioned it to you but they asked me if we are dating and-"

"I know." Luhan cut him off not preventing himself from doing so.

"You do?" Sehun asked his mouth open with confusement and shock.

"Yeah, I was going to surprise you but when I heard what you guys were talking about I just," Luhan closed his eyes "when I heard the things you said I left." He said and opened his eyes to see a miserable Sehun in front of him. His hands creeped up to Luhan's but then he took away his hands again.

"I regret saying those words so much." Sehun said his voice shaking. "All of our mothers are friends and they have a praying community sort of, if I told any one of them what was happening between us my mother would hear it and my life would be over. At least that's what I thought back then. I didn't even want my mother to hear that my friends were suspicious of me being gay so next morning I kissed that girl in front of whole school and jumped from girl to another girl so my father would see it too and if my mother had any suspicions he would relax her that their son is a playboy. I wanted to talk with you but I had no right to do so, not when I hurt you like that and even I wasn't selfish enough to tell you to be my secret lover while I date with other girls."

Luhan looked torn between shock and anger. Why couldn't he just tell him those back then instead of hiding his mother was strictly religious and his father was the principal? They could have find a solution! They could have make that happen! But even though Luhan wanted to think like that he knew they couldn't manage to be in that kind of a relationship and at last they would hurt each other. Luhan couldnt believe how 17 year old Sehun could see this and decide such thing on his own.

"But then, one night you called me. I didn't even know you had my number anymore but you called me in my first year of university! I was shocked and happy but confused at the same time, because you sounded like you were drunk but Im sure i heard 'selfish prick' and 'mood killer' and I'm sure I heard Baekhyun saying something about my size too, but I ignored all of it and asked you where are you, you didn't answer and hang up the phone. But it was enough for me. You had my phone and I just hoped you were still thinking about me as I do."

Sehun undo a few of his shirts button and Luhan backed away holding his hands up to block the view, what did he think just because he told him such romantic stuff they were going to be together again and since they were at his flat they could have just move this to the bedroom? Was Sehun thirsting for his own death?

"Luhan." Sehun said with an amused tone and Luhan looked at Sehun between his fingers to see he was holding a necklace. He lowered his hands immediately and looked at the neckless.

"Our neckless..." Luhan said his jaw dropping again for the nth time that night.

"I thought you wouldn't remember it." Sehun said scratching his head with one hand, ruffling his hair a little bit. "I actually wanted to show you at christmas but you kind of made me angry and then Chanyeol proposed and everything was everywhere and Yixing didn't left your side for a second so..."

"Oh." Luhan said, probably the only sound he can manage at the moment.

"So after that phone call I tried to find where you are, what are you doing and heard our brothers were at the same class and you know the rest." Sehun said.

"Oh." Luhan said again, his vocabulary was amazing himself.

"Look." Sehun said straightening his posture and putting a serious face while looking dead in Luhan's eyes.

"I know I told you a million times and I don't want to push you but I really am sorry. And now you know my part of the story too. I said to you before, I want you in my life and we can start as friends but I just want you to know, to know-" Sehun cut himself and jolted towards to Luhan to hold his hands. Luhan felt how cold his hands were and how he missed the smooth skin of his hands holding his. "To know that I love you. I always did and maybe I did wrong things, I choose wrong ways and I hurt you so much. We can start as friends or just recognize each other when we saw each other but I want you to know I want a relationship and I won't give up on you, I won't give up on my love, not again. I did that mistake years ago and I still feel miserable for that. I want you to know that I love you, that I want to be with you no matter what, I want to protect you from everything and I want a relationship with you. A proper one this time. I don't care whom I need to pass through to have what I want but I will try with all my will." Sehun said and Luhan realized it was a promise. He felt his head spinning around because of so many information getting inside of his head all of a sudden, but probably the mad blush that he was in was helping that too.

"Unless," Sehun looked at Luhan with puppy eyes "unless you don't want to be with me in any other way. But I can promise you one thing. If you say yes, "He clenched Luhan's hand "If you agree to hold my hand then I would never let go of that hand, never again."

Luhan knew he was supposed to be saying something but his mind stopped working with Sehun's last words. All he could hear inside of his mind was 'OHMYGODOHMYGOD' and Luhan didn't think that was the response Sehun was waiting for.

"I,"Luhan started and looked at their hands, Sehun was holding his hand with both of his like he was afraid Luhan was going to take his hand away. "I'm so sorry, but I went through so many things tonight. Can't we just sleep on it and talk about it tomorrow?" Luhan asked trying not to sound too desperate but boy his eyes were hurting actually his everywhere was hurting.

"So you still want to talk with me, that's a good progress." Sehun said and looked at Luhan with a soft smile that made Luhan want to kiss him right there and then but didn't do so.

"Can I borrow your phone? I don't think I can go home at this rate, I will text Baekhyun and he can tell my mom we are staying at Chanyeol and his apartment."

"Sure." Sehun said and get up to grab his phone.

Luhan realized he was still half so he put the blanket on his torso.

"What a night." He said to nobody and chuckled to himself snuggling to the blanket tighter.

I enjoyed writing this chapter I hope you guys can like it too and I hope this chapter explained a few questions that left unanswered ^^

Till next time~