I want to be by her side forever.

Not a friend.

But take place there as a MAN.

 

     It was during my lunch break, I’m still at school when my phone rings. My heart is pounding just by the sound of it. I almost got an heart attack when I realize who was it. Why is she calling right now? I wonder. Just last night I’ve been thinking about those words she said. This was her engagement day and no need to call me right?

DAMN.

 

Why am I feeling this? Why do I need to hurt this way?

 

     So I pick it up, hesitantly..

 

“Hey” she began, her voice is not sounded well.

“Are you okay?” I asked, full of concern.

She sniffled, a bit. “Yep” I’m not convinced. “Where are you?”

“At school”

“Are you doing something?”

“Nope.”

She sighed. “Amm. It’s tonight.” She said, and I don’t know what to answer.

 

I breathe deeply, without her hearing it.

 

“I know”

“You’re going?”

I paused. Thinking deeply. “I’m still going to do something later. So, I guess.. I’m not” that was the answer, not a perfect one but at least it could convinced her though.

I hear her sighed, deeply. “Alright.”

I frowned. “Did you just call to confirm if I’m going tonight?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Yes” she answered.

 

I sighed dissapointedly.

 

“Okay. You already got the answer. So? Bye then?” I said with a hint of bitterness from my voice,

She paused. “Okay. Bye Chae”

I gritted my teeth. “Bye” then I quickly ends the call.

 

     I was so disappointed. How can I let this happen? Thinking that I already have someone but still here I am, secretly in love with a woman. Not just a woman, afterall she’s my boyfriend’s bestfriend. What if when I say I love you? You would say you hate me? -- . After getting her phone call, I had a lot of things to think about. The day pass by, I watch the clock ticks till it reach the number 8; announcing that it’s already 8pm. I stared blankly on the ceiling, not knowing what to do. Jiyong might be there now at the party, he was invited.. of course.

 

LOVE is painful.

But pain is also beautiful. Just like her.

 

     I kept on rolling around the bed when suddenly my head bumps on the headboard. I mentally hit it with my palms just then I realize that it really hurts. I stood going to the bathroom, reaching for a towel but instead I found myself looking at the mirror. I look at myself, I’m still looking great but I admit and I can say that I’m not really that happy, not to mention that I really look like a heartbroken teenager.

 

I need to get rid of this mess.

 

(Phone ringing..)

 

     I march my way back to the bedroom, obviously disturb by that phone which keeps on ringing and now irritating me. I pick it up..

 

“Hello?” it’s Jiyong,

“Yes?” I said, not interested.

“Hey! I’m just wondering if you still want to go here at the party?” he asked, cheerfully.

I rolled my eyes, bitterly. “No. I’m still doing something”

“But Dara wants you to go here.” He insisted.

I raised a brow, surprised. “Really?” Too obvious. I sounded too obvious.

“Yes. Actually, she’s on her way here now. I guess she wanted to talk to you.”

I panicked. “Ha? N- No-No! don’t give her the phone” I told him, but it’s too late.

“Don’t you want to talk to me?” I hear her voice, is she disappointed?.

 

I’m being delusional again. STOP it Chae.

 

“Amm. I don’t mean it that way, I’m just wondering coz you know? You've must be busy right now?”

“No. not really, can you go here?” She said with her pleading voice,

“Now?” I took a glance at the wall clock. “But is it already not too late to go there?”

“It’s fine. I just wanted to see you.” She pleads again,

I smiled without my consent. “ME?” I replied, almost raising my voice.

 

She didn’t answer at all. Instead she ended the call.

 

     I still go there, It was only last night when we seen each other but I already missed her. They say ‘As love deepened, pain deepened more’. I thought I finally found my love, but thought stays as thought only. And now, I’m really sure about this. I’m gonna tell her..

     Tomorrow which is different from today. 1 year, 2 years. I pray everything will be changed as time goes for us. ME and HER.

     I got there, full crowded. I roam my eyes around the house from outside, one of the guards sees me. I’m just wearing a baby-tee and black jeans. Do I need to be formal? The guard looks at me curiously, I just smiled at him and in my surprise he let me in. I look around again, amazement was written all over my face. It’s a huge house, no wonder Dara have a lots of money on her pocket. I walked slowly still looking at the house, some of the guests were looking at me weirdly but I ignored them. I stepped inside the living room, I can’t find Jiyong so I stepped backward but before I left the door someone grab me by the arm. My heart is pounding when I realize who was it.

 

“Hey” she said, grinning widely.

“Hello” I said breathlessly,

She pulls me closer to her and whispers. “Come on. I’ll get you out of here” she said then pulls me upstairs.

 

     We stop in one of the rooms, I guess it’s her room. She opened the door, pushing me inside first before she follows, closing the door softly.

 

“What do you want to drink?” she walk at the table and grab a drink. “Wine?” she asked lifting the bottle.

I nod my head. “Amm. What are we doing here?” I asked afte