xStitch's Warning: 2000+ words ahead, don't strain your eyes. :P
 

Taeyeon was seen in her bedroom, sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. She fixed her glasses as she stared down at the laptop on her lap. Her eyes were glued on the blank Microsoft Word document. She should be finishing her work by now but the conversation she had with Jessica yesterday had left a big question in her head.

Have I taken love for granted?

~~~

The night before

“Taeng baby~” Jessica gave Taeyeon a surprise hug from behind. Taeyeon smiled and turned around to give Jessica a proper hug. She always liked to be around Jessica, though there were times she reminded herself not to be overly clingy. Last time, she nearly forgot her work at home because she was too focused on chatting with Jessica on her phone. She chuckled as she thought of that past incident.

“Baby, what are you laughing at?”

Taeyeon shook her head and placed a soft peck on Jessica’s cheek. “I’m just happy to be with you.” The younger girl pressed her forehead to Taeyeon’s one while asking quietly. “Please stay with me until the day our love dies.” Taeyeon rolled her eyes playfully at that sentence. “Sica~ you’ve asked that a million times already. And you know that I’ll always say yes to that.” Jessica had a crooked grin on her face and slapped Taeyeon’s shoulder. “Yah. What’s wrong with asking that question?”

Taeyeon smiled cheekily and answered Jessica’s question in a playful manner, meaning to girlfriend only. “That phrase is getting old. Can’t you think of something new?”

Jessica was fuming inside. How could her girlfriend say that kind of thing to her? “Yah! Are you thinking of finding someone new?”

A text ringtone interrupted the lovers’ quarrel. Taeyeon gave Jessica an apologetic look before replying the message. “Who’s that?”

“It’s Tiffany.” Taeyeon’s fingers drummed across the phone screen in a quick motion. “She had a breakup.”

“Oh.” That was the only thing Jessica could voice out at that moment. She always felt insecure when Tiffany texted Taeyeon, though the latter kept on reassuring her by her love songs and sweet words.

Taeyeon, on the other hand, was completely unaware of the situation. Her mind was too focused on how to cheer up her girlfriend’s best friend.

“Jessica, I will head out for a bit. Don’t wait for me if I come home to late, arra?” With that, Taeyeon quickly pecked Jessica’s cheek and rushed out of the house before Jessica even had the chance to ask her more questions.

Jessica slumped down on her bed. “Why couldn’t Tiffany text her instead? Why does she always have to cling onto Taeyeon?” Jessica sighed and decided to sleep earlier since she had to go to Yuri’s house for a little hangout tomorrow.

~~~

It was morning. By the time Taeyeon came home, Jessica had already left the house. She sighed and slumped down on the couch. She missed her princess a lot. But she rarely showed her clinginess to her girlfriend because she read that being over-clingy may cause adverse effect on one’s relationship.

She then looked at her phone. No missed calls. No new messages. No replies from her text she sent last night.

Taeyeon had a strange feeling after looking at the phone for a long time. Why wasn’t Jessica replying? She couldn’t possibly miss those messages she sent her last night, right?  She started to panic. Crap, did I do something wrong? Taeyeon started to call Jessica. No answer. She then turned to sending messages. No reply at all.

She was trying so hard to fight her drowsiness. She talked with Tiffany until the morning came  She wanted to wait for Jessica’s reply before her sleepiness knocked her out completely. Finally, she gave up. She slept in an awkward yoga position with her phone in her hands.

~~~

She quickly droved to Yuri’s place, hoping her girlfriend was still in her house. She parked her car diagonally in front of her house. She doesn’t care how bad her parking skills were. She just wanted to know if Jessica is okay or not.

She knocked on the door frantically. When it was opened, she greeted Yuri and quickly went on a search for Jessica. Her heart sank when she saw her girlfriend was hugging her knees, her eyes glistered with tears. Taeyeon kneeled down in front of her and took her baby’s hand in hers. She looked up and saw Jessica’s face. It hurts seeing that she was frowning and having doubts on her. But she knew she would be in the same position since they basically have a similar personality.

“Jessica… I rather you rant on me than avoid me. Can I just have a talk with you? I shouldn’t have left you for Tiffany but I did that because I just wanted to cheer her up”

“It wasn’t just about Tiffany… It was about us.”

“What… about us?”

“It’s just that… I can’t explain coherently but it seemed like something changed between us. We don’t celebrate our weekly anniversary anymore. You don’t put little love notes beside my nightstand every morning and use cheesy lines on me anymore.I don’t cuddle up to you every time we watch a movie, and when we have our dates, we’re always on our phones.  And… it seems like I don’t have the same effect on you like I used to.” Jessica fought back her tears and looked down at Taeyeon’s hand. “Taeng…  I feel like I am watching us falling apart in a slow motion and I hate it. I don’t want you to hit the ground, but the crash is inevitable.”

Taeyeon blinked in realization. It was true that they rarely have those sweet moments together. Jessica gave up on fighting back her tears, she let go of Taeyeon’s hand and rushed back into her room.

Taeyeon chased her and wanted to explain to her all the things that had happened to them but she was stopped by Yuri. “Hey… let her have some time, okay? On the other hand, let yourself have some time as well, okay? You both need it.”

Taeyeon sighed in defeat. Yuri was right. She needed time to think about the relationship. She needed time to think about what exactly happened to her.

Taeyeon drove back to her house and threw the car key on the dining table. She ran her hand through her hair as she paced back and forth in the house, trying to think of the reason why Jessica has doubt on her. Was she not doing enough in this relationship? Was she supposed to be over-clingy?

Her eyes shifted to the laptop on the desk. “Right, I still have some assignments to do.” With that, she took her laptop to her room and sat on her bed with gadget on her lap. Her mind couldn’t think properly. The thought of losing Jessica was too much for her to handle. Her body was slightly shaking in fear when the thought had entered her mind. It had come to her conclusion that losing her love was more fearful than death.

Taeyeon knew that they had both taken love for granted. She knew that Jessica needed a long time to take off that icy demeanour and to put trust on people. But it turned out… she had broken Jessica’s trust on her.

♦♦♦

Jessica dried her tears against the pillowcase of her pillow.  Why didn’t Taeng come after her?  Didn’t Taeng know that her hugs were the only thing that would make her feel better?  Jessica shook her head in anger.  She was pitying herself too much.  Taeng was probably needing a hug too…they both needed hugs. 

Why was love so difficult?

She wanted to find Taeyeon, but since Taeyeon hadn’t followed her in, she thought maybe Taeyeon needed her space. 

Where did things go wrong? 

They had been friends, but then slowly it became something more.  Neither of them knew how the other would react, and so they kept their feelings hidden, albeit they grew closer and closer.  Until they couldn’t bear to hold it in anymore.  They had overcome obstacles to be together that alone they wouldn’t be able to conquer.  Possessive exes.  Distance.  Their shadowed pasts.  And when they were finally together, life was beautiful.  They found a reason to celebrate their love every day of the week, and when she was sad, Taeyeon would make the day better.  Jessica smiled softly as she recalled the time when Taeyeon set her up for a surprise by asking her friends to send her flowers for a fake National Flower-Giving Day.  It turned out to be an anniversary present.  Or the time when Taeyeon proposed to her through song—and despite how corny that was, how warm it made her feel.  She loved waking up to the pecks on her forehead.  And going to sleep with Taeyeon in her arms.  But that had changed.  They hardly even saw each other.  Taeyeon had stopped being her teddy bear—

Jessica buried her face in her hands.  This wasn’t all about her.  Maybe she had distanced herself from Taeyeon.  Jessica grimaced.  She had been texting Tiffany quite a lot lately, but that didn’t mean anything.  But did Taeyeon know that?  And…she never did anything romantically creative for Taeyeon.  And she had stopped asking Taeyeon about her days and how she was feeling…

Was she the reason they were falling apart?

Tears starting to build up in her eyes, Jessica reached for her phone.  There were several missed messages and calls from Taeyeon.  She hesitated.  She wanted to talk to her…but she couldn’t, yet.  She needed to know something first.  And so she started to scroll through her text messaging history with Taeyeon, back to the month when they first confessed to each other.  It only took her a few seconds of reading through their conversation before her heart broke into a million pieces.  They were completely different then.  Was it possible for them to ever be the same, or was that just another piece of their past they can’t get back? 

Whenever you experience one bad thing in your day, think of two good things to make it up.  Because that’s what life’s all about – getting rid of negative thoughts allows a better future to come.

Jessica quickly looked around the room for her girlfriend.  But Taeyeon wasn’t there.  That voice, that quote…was all just a memory.  She fell back against her bed, hands over her eyes.  “Okay, Taeyeon, I’ll try…”  All Jessica could think of was their pending marriage and the cat they had adopted and named Oliver.  He was their son.  And they were a family.  She thought of holding Taeyeon’s hand again, of kissing her apologetically, of growing old together in their little white clapboard house surrounded by a cute picket fence. 

She wanted all that.  And she thought of being more attentive to her girlfriend and less jealous when she spent her time elsewhere.  It was her time to be the devoting girlfriend that Taeyeon had always been to her.

Jessica jumped from her bed and ran into the living room where Yuri was seated watching television.  “Yuri, take me home…”

~~~

Taeyeon wasn’t home.  That was good.  Jessica let a curler hang from her hair as her eyes studied the phone screen.  She input an address on Google maps and found the directions to the local county fair.  After fixing her hair, she applied her makeup and wore the plaid shirt Taeyeon loved seeing her wear.  She then was off again, returning about a half hour later to scoop Oliver up in her arms to tie a bowtie around his neck.  “Don’t you look handsome?” she purred, his head and placing him on their bed, which was covered in red rose petals.  Jessica then checked the time.  Five-thirty.  Where was Taeyeon?  She sat at the foot of the bed.  And then she gasped when she realized she hadn’t yet read Taeyeon’s most recent text messages or listened to the voice mails.  Although doing so made her mascara run a bit, she couldn’t bite back the smile at her sweet girlfriend’s messages—despite the fact they were sent the night before.  They had spoken since then, but still…

Jessica raised her phone to her ear, praying Taeyeon would answer.

“Hello?”

“Tae-Tae, come home.”

Jessica stood in front of their door, smiling as Taeyeon drove up.  She then skipped to the car and quickly hopped inside before Taeyeon had even removed her seatbelt.  Taeyeon blinked at her, blushing as Jessica pecked a soft kiss to her cheek, her hands working with the GPS device.  “Drive.”

Taeyeon reversed the car out of the drive and followed the directions.

~~~

Jessica eagerly hopped out of the vehicle and pulled Taeyeon by the hand, dragging her to the fairgrounds. 

“The fair?” Taeyeon voiced in amazement, wondering why Jessica had brought them here.  Jessica refused to answer until she had purchased them one stick of cotton candy and handed it to her girlfriend.  She then pulled a piece of fluff with her fingertips and popped it in Taeyeon’s mouth. Taeyeon chewed it happily, smiling as Jessica’s hand slipped into her free one.  “Why the fair?” Taeyeon asked again as they walked along, taking careful steps as kids whizzed past them.

“Taeyeon-ah, do you remember how you described the perfect first date?”

She nodded slowly as the vague memory came back to her.

“Well, there wasn’t a circus in town, but there was a fair, and I thought that might be the next best thing.”  Jessica stopped then to face the shorter girl.  The younger girl then leaned in, gently brushing her lips with the sticky ones of the woman standing before her.  “And the first date would come with a surprise first kiss.”  Jessica pulled her, a stunned Taeyeon following along, blushing as Jessica nuzzled in her hair. “I never gave you that perfect first date, but I promised I would whisper in your ear how beautiful you are and that our kiss good-bye would lead to another kiss hello.”  Taeyeon halted, her eyes stinging slightly.  “Taeyeon, I know I am far from perfect, but you make me want to be better.  And if you help me, I’ll be better.  I don’t want to let you go.”

Taeyeon’s arms flung around Jessica’s neck, their embrace as warm and as tight as the day they first confessed.

~~~

Oliver greeted them at the door, Taeyeon bending down to pick him up and nuzzle their noses.  “What the—Jung Sooyeon, did you put a bowtie on him?!”

Jessica giggled in response and gripped Taeyeon by the sleeve, leading her toward the bedroom.  Taeyeon’s eyes widened when she saw the rose petal-covered bed, wondering exactly what Jessica had in store.  “And,” Jessica whispered, sinking to her knees, making Taeyeon’s eyes tear from the bed and to the girl kneeling at her feet, “do you remember our first time?”  Taeyeon nodded softly, blushing at the memory as Jessica s her arms around her and pressed her face to Taeyeon’s legs.  “Taeyeon-ah, I love you so, so much.”

Her girlfriend’s teary confession worked at her heart and she slowly combed her fingers through Jessica’s hair, soothingly shushing her as she too sunk to her knees to take the girl in her arms.
“I love you, too, Jessica.”

“Please…work with me, help me be better, but please never leave me, Taeyeon.  You are the sun, the moon, the stars, my whole being.  Let us share a parachute and avoid the crash landing.  It won’t be easy, it never is, but we can do it if we work together.”

Taeyeon nodded softly, smiling as Oliver climbed onto their knees and laid himself there, his eyes focused on his parents.

“I can’t lose you either. Jessica, I love you too much to let you go.  Instead of fighting, we’ll say we respectfully disagree. And when we’re old and wondering why we stayed together—this moment, right now—please promise to remember.” Taeyeon patted Oliver’s head before whispering softly into Jessica’s ear. “I lose track of time when you are with me, for I have fallen deeply in love with you.”

xStitch's note: Last story update before my real hiatus begins. Just wanna say thanks to all the readers and hope you can still support this story! <3 Oh and you know how people say save the best for last, right? *pokes xXBlackWidowXx* I love you so much, baby. Let's not forget the things we shared together. I'm gonna miss you so much. ;w; Thanks for co-writing this story with me. I feel blessed. kthxbai. Te amo! 

xXBlackWidowXx's note: Thank you for growing with me @xStitch. I'm so grateful for everything. I'm an emotional rollercoaster ride and I'm sorry for forcing you on it, but thanks for never complaining. Ne jamais avoir de regrets; nos erreurs peuvent conduire à un avenir meilleur. Good luck on your tests, Butterfly! Cuando las palabras no son suficientes, por favor caer en mis brazos y mirada en mis ojos para darse cuenta de lo mucho te amo. *fail Spanish* ;;  

Thanks for being the Taeng to my Sic.