Seohyun

“You look…really nice, Seohyun-ah…” Jungshin said.

“Um, thank you, Jungshin-ah. You look nice, too.” I replied while lowering my head shyly.

I turned up at Jungshin’s invitation for a dinner from earlier. Yoona eonni just kept pushing me to go. She told me that this might be the chance to say what my heart really tells me. Despite all the encouragements she gave, unending doubts still filled my head.

We had our dinner in a famous cake shop in town. I remembered that I had been here once before, with Yonghwa oppa. It was my birthday last year and we were having a “date” to celebrate the special day of mine. Coincidentally, the table Jungshin and I were sitting at now was the exact same with the one when Yonghwa oppa and I came here. Remembering those things at this time was troublesome. It only made it harder for me to face Jungshin. I kept my head low all the time as we talked and acted as if I was just shy. Luckily, Jungshin bought it and didn’t really ask much about it.

“You know, when I first saw you walking inside the classroom, I thought I was seeing the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. And when you approached me and asked if the seat beside me was empty, I didn’t know what to do. I always admire you not only from your outer beauty, but your manners and personality as well,”

Admire. That was exactly what I felt towards you. I always admired your hard work, your enthusiasm, your spirit. You never failed to amaze me in class. Admiring you was my limit, but I had a feeling that there was much more to you than just admiring me.

“We weren’t that close for around a month. We rarely talk even though we were seatmates,” he laughed. “I was really shy then,”

 “Hahaha. Yes, I remember that. The first thing you said to me was when you wanted to borrow a pencil. And it was around after we’ve been seatmates for two weeks,”

“I always wanted to get close to you, Seohyun-ah. I mean, you are a nice person. I tried my best to be a good friend to you,”

“Well, you are, Jungshin-ah. You are a really good friend. I’m glad to have met a really nice person like you,”

His smile shrunk. I quickly rethink what I just said; afraid that maybe I said something wrong to him.

“Well, I am glad and thankful if that’s so. But…”

He paused and turned his gaze out the window. His smile hasn’t faded from his face, but it wasn’t as wide as before.

“But lately, I feel like I’m attracted to you. There’s something that pulls me towards you. Something that makes me want to be around you in your company. Although I also feel that there’s something that keeps pulling you away from me everytime I got maybe too close to you. But despite that, I keep on looking for you,”

“Here it comes,” I thought to myself. I tried to keep myself as composed as I could. I knew what he was going to say and I also knew well how I will answer. I kept my eyes steady and smiled.

“I’ll just be straight up to the point.” He said gently but serious. “I…I think I like you, Seohyun-ah. Um, wait, no. Not that.” He paused for a second and went on with a wider smile. “I like you. I do like you, Seohyun-ah. Neomu Joahae.”

The atmosphere suddenly became quiet. Only the slow melody of the music playing in the background was heard. I knew this moment would come. I’d prepared myself on what I should do. Follow your heart, eonni had said. That’s exactly what I was going to do.

“You’ve been a really good friend, Jungshin-ah. But I hope that we can stay that way. I like you too, as a good friend. Thank you for being such a nice friend that can take care of me.”

He was silent for a moment as we looked into each other’s eyes. I could see that he was hurt, but he managed to keep his expression under control.

“I…figured you’d say that.”

I was taken aback by his words. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well, I was anticipating this kind of answer all along. I mean, it’s disappointing for me but I just want to hear it from you…”

Then there was silence. I kept lowering my head and wondered what he meant. I stole glances at him and saw him lowering his head also. Because his hair was tied to the back, I could see his expression. Even though his expression looked as if he wasn’t affected, there’s a slight hint of anxiousness in his eyes. Then the silence was broken when the waitress came to our table with the orders. After she was gone, Jungshin finally spoke.

“When I said that I felt like there’s something that’s always pulling you away from me, I actually knew what it was. Or rather, who it was. I just wanted to make sure…” He looked at me. “Well, there is, isn’t there?”

I didn’t know what to say. But I remembered why I was here in the first place.

“Um, ne. Mianhae…”

I was startled for the second time because the next thing I heard coming from Jungshin was laughter.

“Hahaha. It’s hyung right? Yonghwa hyung?”

When I heard the name, my heart raced immediately and I felt blood rushing towards my cheeks. Before I could answer, there was another set of laughter from Jungshin.

“Hahaha. You blushed right at the moment I mentioned his name. Gwiyeopta. So we were right all along,”

“We?” I asked, still fanning down my face with my hand.

“Me and Jonghyun hyung. We were wondering if there’s really something between you and him. Hahaha…although from what we see, he still doesn’t realize it yet, does he?”

I shook my head slightly.

“B…but please. Don’t say anything to him!” I begged to Jungshin.

“Haha, it’s okay, Seohyun-ah. I won’t. You can trust me. Hahaha, you’re so cute,”

We spend the rest of the date talking about Yonghwa oppa. Without realizing it, we’d gotten closer despite the things that just happened. Although I have to admit that this was the weirdest date I’ve ever had. And then I heard ticking sound. When I turned towards the window, it started to rain outside. My body stiffened as the rain got harder.

“Um, Seohyun-ah? Gwaenchanha?”

“U-uh…y-yes…i-it’s just that…it’s r-raining outside. And when it’s raining this hard, t-there’ll be th----“

A faint sound of thunder cut me off. Even though it was faint, as long as I could hear it, my body function would automatically shut down. Being so near with a source of thunder when I was little really made my body very sensitive to the sound of thunder and flashes of lightning.

“Omo! You’re so pale. Is it the thunder?”

I nodded slightly, still unable to move.

Jungshin tried to calm me down. He then took my hand and grasped it within his. It worked. I felt my body loosened a bit at the gesture, though I was still unable to talk. We waited silently still in that position for some time until he suddenly pulled back his hands.

“U-uh…sorry…”

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay, Jungshin-ah. See? I feel more relaxed now thanks to you,” I smiled to him which made him laugh all of a sudden.

Among all the sounds inside the cake shop my ears could catch, there was a familiar voice. It sounded like Yonghwa oppa. Could it be, by any chance, he’s here?

“Um, I’m sorry, Seohyun-ah, but I think I have to go to the restroom,” Jungshin frowned while putting his hand on his stomach. “This always happens when it’s raining.”

“Hahaha, really? Hehe, alright, Jungshin-ah.”

“Be back in a minute,” he stood up and rushed his way towards the restroom.

Right at the moment he stood from his seat, I saw the person I was looking for. Yonghwa oppa was sitting at a table not far from ours. Our eyes met the moment I looked at him. And then I realized something. I could not believe what I saw. The person sitting in front of him on the opposite seat was Yoona eonni. She turned to me with embarrassment and awkwardly waved.

My heart felt heavier at the sight of them being together. Even though I had convinced myself countless times that eonni had forgotten about her feelings, I couldn’t be so sure about oppa’s. He never told me the story about his past with Yoona eonni. Could it be that because he hasn’t completely gotten over her? It bothered me but, then again, who was I to question him about his past?

I pressed my hand against my chest, hoping to ease if not stop the pain. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. My heart raced, but the way it beat was painful. Despite that, I stood up and approached them.

“Eonni, what are you doing here?”

“U-uh…Hyunnie~ I-I kinda followed you here when you went off with Jungshin. Hehe. And I kinda bumped into Yonghwa oppa. When it started to rain, we went inside for shelter, and…” she stopped.

“Um, I see…” I sighed silently, not letting them hear it. Oppa just sat there, looking at me without a sound. I tried my best to avoid looking at him. My heart just couldn’t take it.

“Well, it’s already late and I don’t feel really well right now so I’ll just be going now. Bye, enjoy your evening.” I bid them farewell before turning my back on them and walked towards the door.

“But, I thought you were with Jungshin. And it’s still raining! Hyunnie! Wait---“ I heard Yoona eonni shouted from behind. I pretended not hearing it and kept my pace.

My heart just couldn’t bear it anymore. I didn’t know why. Why was I so selfish? They were both my friends, my best friends…

“I’m sorry, Jungshin. I’ll make it up to you for this…” I thought before opening the door of the cake shop.

On the terrace of the cake shop, I hesitated. It was still raining hard. I searched my hand bag for my portable umbrella but didn’t find it. Great. I must have left it at home. Now, what do I do?

I took off my blazer, planning to use it as a cover until I get to the nearest convenience store to buy an umbrella. Then someone called from the door of the cake shop.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

I turned to see him. My heart leaped out of my chest.

“Oppa…”

“Seohyun, what do you think you’re doing? It’s still raining this hard and you said you weren’t feeling well…” he sounded angry.

“I…just want to go home…” I said without looking at him. I turned my back on him and started to walk through the pouring rain. Before I could take more than a couple of steps, I felt a hand grabbing me by my arm. I stopped, already drenched.

“Seohyun….i-it’s not what you think it is…” his voice was softer, almost guilty.

I didn’t know what he meant, but I restrained myself from asking.

“You never told me about you and Yoona eonni…” I finally said without looking at him. I regretted it almost right after the words escaped my lips, but I couldn’t take back what has been said.

“…”

There was no reaction so I decided to continue my way home under the rain. I pulled back my arm and continued walking. I waited and waited as I took my feet further away from him but he just stood there watching me walk away. Before I could get far from the cake shop, the nightmare I’ve always feared all these years happened again.

I saw a flash of lightning right before my eyes. The lightning struck a big tree just some feet away in front of me. I could only watch as the tree was burnt by the lightning strike. My body trembled, my heart stopped. I couldn’t move at all. I could see one of its branches broke and almost fell. Not long after the lightning struck the tree, the thunder arrived. The force of the thunder shook the tree, making the broken branch to finally give in to gravity. I stood there, couldn’t move even an inch, watching as the big branch fell over me. I couldn’t think of anything. I was done for.

Before I could feel the rough and hard surface of the wood forced against my head, someone pulled me aside from harm’s way. He threw his body on the sidewalk as he held me tightly in his arms, protecting me from any form of impact. The branch hit the ground with a loud thud just an inch away from my feet.

“Baboya! What were you thinking?” His voice was cracking. I could feel his whole body shivered in cold.

Despite his cold body, I could still feel the warmth deep inside. My body relaxed a bit. My heart started to beat again, uncontrollably. I put my arms around him and held him tight. Among the sound of the rain and our heavy breathing, he finally said something to me.

“I never told you about her because…” he paused trying to catch a breath. “The moment I saw you that day in front of the class…was the moment I knew that I had gotten over her…”

Drop by drop of tears flowed out of my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I heard. I realized that, for the nth time, I was just a selfish girl who only thinks about her own feelings and not the people who might be affected by her. I pressed my face against his shirt as my sobs got harder.

“When I saw you…I thought that I could finally find happiness again. I could only see the future when I saw you that I forgotten about my past. But I haven’t realized about the existence of that feeling until these days…” he went on, making me sob harder.

“Please, Seohyun. I don’t want to lose you like I did last time…”

He tightened his embrace. The warmth of his embrace made me feel alive again. It pulled me back from the nightmare that just happened. I couldn’t stop sobbing, but he said he wouldn’t let me go until I stop.

The rain stopped before long. The sky cleared from the thick clouds, revealing the stars that always shine over the sleeping world no matter what happens. Still in Yonghwa oppa’s arms, I looked up at the clear night sky. The moon was full and beautiful and the stars shone so brightly.

The moon and the stars were smiling brightly as they brilliantly rained down their silver radiance over you and me.

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Author's note:

Annyeonghaseyo!

I'm sorry for the reeeaaallly late update :(  it's been almost a month (i guess) and work's been out of control.

So here's another chapter! I hope you guys aren't too disappointed because I will not abandon this fic and keep updating it as often as I can hehe

I hope you enjoy reading it as I did writing it hehe

Thank you veeeeerrryyyyy much!! :D