Soobin’s POV

Hyukjae helped me every step of the way for my discharge and held onto me in case I fell. Seeing the way he treated me made me feel strange someway. It was as if something was wrong. The drive to the hotel was silent as he had light music playing at the background.

Suddenly, my phone rang and it was Theodore. He must have been worried.

“Hey Baby” I said, looking out of the window, hoping to not make the car ride even more awkward.

“Are you mad?” He asked.

“No. I’m not. I just had to think things through. The doctor told me to take things easy. So I’m just letting things go with the flow. How are things there?” I asked.

“Beth is going crazy here without you. But overall, everything is going well. I miss you so much.” He said.

“I miss you too. Go to bed soon alright? You’re having a busy week. How’s the show?”

“The rehersals are going well. Tomorrow is the premier. The kids are all nervous and trying their best to make things perfect but everything is going well.” He said. I could hear how proud he felt about this show. He had placed in much hard work on this and it’s finally paying off.

“That’s good. I’m sorry I can’t make it to the show. I know the kids will do great.”

“It’s sad that you can’t come. But it’s alright. You have much more important things to attend to. I need to go now.  I’ll call you tomorrow when the show is over.”

“Sure. Break a leg!”

“I love you.”

“I Love you too.” With that, I hung up to see that the car had stopped moving and we’re already at the entrance of the hotel. I looked at Hyukjae who was staring at me intensely.

“Thank you for the ride and picking me up from the airport. I really appreciate it.” I said and was about to open the door when he touched my hand. I turned to look at him, not knowing what he was doing.

“Is it ok if I take you out to dinner someday before you leave?” He asked. His voice was soft and I could hear his voice shaking as he asked me.

“I would be happy to have dinner with you before I leave. It’s what friends do right?” I could see him wince slightly and I remember we were in a relationship in the past. I shouldn’t have said that. I waved him goodbye and he smiled, or at least tried to. I didn’t hear him drive away till I entered the lobby I turned around to see the car driven away. Is it wrong to have said yes to dinner?

That night, I couldn’t sleep as all I could think about was that look he gave me before he drove off. He always looked like he had something to say to me, but he never said it. However, from his eyes, I can see that there is something he wanted to say. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want to disturb Haemin on the night before her wedding so I called Theodore. I know this is not a good idea but he will find out sooner or later.

“Love, is there something wrong?” The way he calls me love always makes my heart melt. His question made me rethinking if I wanted to tell him what’s going on here. I’m practically calling him to come to Korea and bring me back, from the way things are going. However, I felt bad not telling him, especially when it’s something he is concerned about.

“You know about the thing of my memory loss?” I asked, trying to see how I am going to put it into words that would not give him a full blown impact.

“I know. Did you remember something Love?” There he goes again. I know it’s not something he does on purpose but it’s making it hard for me to control myself.

“I didn’t, but Haemin told me something and why I didn’t realise I lost my memory because the memory I lost is here in Korea.” I said.

“I don’t really get what you mean.”

“The memory I lost is about someone I love, or you can say loved. Haemin told me that the reason why I took up the Job in Britan was because of him. Because I had loved him so much it was hurting me and I left.” I said and the line on the other side was silent. The silence was too daunting for me.

“Theo?” I called, hoping he didn’t hang up on me, even though I know he wouldn’t do such a thing.

“Yeah. I’m here. So you’ve met him?” He asked. His voice was tight and he was being careful as well.

“He was the reason I ended up in the hospital. Not entirely his fault but I’ve met him.” I said and Theodore sighed. He doesn’t seem pleased.

“What time is the wedding?” He asked.

“Theodore, that’s not what I meant. I just…”

“Love, you are hurt and I’m hurt just by not being there with you. Now you’re stopping me and I’m so anxious that you won’t come back.” He said.

“Theodore, I am coming back. No matter what. I may have loved him in the past, but that’s the past. You’re what’s in my life now.” I tried to reassure him.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s just I’m being worried alright?”

“You have a big show and you need to be there. I’ll call you when everything is over. I’ll come back as soon as everything here is over.”

“I’m sorry Love. Just don’t mind me. Just be safe and be with me ok?” He said and that broke my heart. I feel that he feels at risk because of everything that’s happening here.

“Ok. I love you. Don’t work too hard.”

“Love you too.” With that we ended our conversation. Tomorrow is Haemin’s big day and yet I do not feel happy because my own problems are weighing down on me. Tomorrow I shouldn’t think about anything but just be happy for Haemin. That’s what I’m going to do. With that resolution, I went to bed and fell asleep.

The next day, things didn’t go as well as planned as the first person I saw was Hyukjae. He was Best man and I was head Brides maid therefore we’ll be seeing much of each other. He picked me up to go to where Haemin was to prepare things that she needed; Hair, Makeup, you name it, we have it.

“Are you feeling better?” Haemin asked me.

“It’s about you today. Let’s talk about this another time.” I said as I turned her back around. However, she turned back around.

“Don’t hide from me. I’m going away once the wedding is over and you’re going back to the UK. It won’t hurt to take a few minutes to talk about this.” Haemin said.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s just making me confused more.” I said.

“Do you remember him or does your heart remember him?” Haemin asked me.

“I don’t remember. I have a boyfriend too. I don’t think it’s going to be fair to him.” I said.

“I guess that makes sense but I hope you might remember. Even if you don’t you will be happy. We cannot assure you’ll be happy when you remember.” Haemin said.

“Let’s leave it. It’s your big day. We should talk about you.” I said and with that, Haemin stopped asking me about Hyukjae but rather she is focusing on her wedding and being nervous about it.

I guess on your big day, it’s really a big day. You don’t get to sit down and the smile will always be on your face. Looking at  Haemin and Donghae together, I feel that they truly have love that will never die. It has been years that they are together and seeing Donghae treating Haemin like how he does when he met her the very first time, I know Haemin is in good hands.

When the wedding banquet was finally over and the guests were leaving the hall, Haemin finally got to sit down and take a breather. Donghae was there will her all the time. Looking at them just makes me smile.

“I’m gonna head back now.  Enjoy your honeymoon.” I said to Haemin and Donghae. Haemin held onto my hand with both of hers with a smile and tears in her eyes.

“Thank you so much Soobin. It wouldn’t have happened without you. “Haemin said with a voice that I know she’s going to cry.

“I know you will be well protected. I truly wish you all the best.” I gave her a hug which she returned. I am going to miss my friend.

“Visit me when you’re coming to the UK ok?” I said and Haemin gave me a slightly confused expression.

“Are you leaving already?” Haemin asked

“Something came up back in England. I need to leave as soon as possible My flight is tomorrow morning.” I said and I could see the disappointment in Haemin’s face as she looked behind me.

“Isn’t there anyway you can delay for another day?” Haemin tried to get me to stay, but I know this is for the best, for everyone.

“I’m sorry Haemin. I can’t. Take care of yourself ok? If Donghae does anything, tell him I’ll fly back personally and castrate him with my own bare hands.” Haemin didn’t laugh or smile. She just look upset.

“I’ll miss you.” Haemin said, her eyes teary again.

“I’ll miss you too. “

“Will there be any chance you might come to Korea again?” she asked

“Haemin, there is nothing for me here anymore. My parents want me to settle there and I think it’s for the best.” I said.

“I understand. I’ll find a chance and go to England and see how you are living the life there.” She said with a small smile.

Haemin walked me to the door with Donghae by her side. My friend for many years, I didn’t know how I was able to leave her the last time, but this time, things are even harder. I could feel the tears in my eyes as I waved her goodbye. As I turned around, I saw her turning to Donghae, head burrowing in his chest as his hands were on her shoulder.

“I’ll send you home.” Hyukjae offered.

“I want to be alone. Thank you for everything Hyukjae. I’m sorry I don’t remember anything. I just hope that everything would go well with you.” I said, looking at him. I really did feel sorry that nothing is coming to me and I know he is hurt. But only when we all move on, when he move on, will we bring all the hurt away.

“Goodbye Hyukjae.” I said as I got into a cab.

“I’m coming back to you. I’ll see you in a day.” I said to Theodore on the phone.

“See you, Love.”

I am on the plane, returning to where my life is. I realise that the past will always remain in the past. No matter how much we hold on to it, we can never change it. No matter how much we regret, there is nothing that can change what has been done. Watching the plane taking off, soaring into the sky, this is where I truly say goodbye to my past. I have let it go and I’m moving towards my new journey.

End of Soobin’s POV

- The End -