A wave of anguish spurt over you. The two pillars of your life – gone. Within that tiny time span.

 

Where is this from?

 

One, lying on the bleached, white and crimson table.

 

Another, down the corridor, down the stairs, down, twisted on the floor.

 

This? My memory?

 

Hands, words of comfort comes and goes.

 

Bouquets of stagnant chrysanthemums; Stiff petals fall as you kick it.

 

A new house.

 

Yellow walls.

 

 

Wait…. T..Too fast

 

 

Too fast – you see fragments flashing past you, it’s too fast.

 

 

 

I said, it’s too fast

I said, it’s too fast

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tears, tears.

 

 

A tight feeling, holding your lungs down – stomach, neck. You have to let it loose.

 

 

 

Scream

 

 

 

‘Noona?’

 

 

 

Noona?

 

Another memory; a distant figure, a small boy – so small, clinging onto a slim white hand. The boy’s left hand rises up gently, shyly, and blushing cheeks as he offers it to you. You silently stare at the tiny hand, awkwardly waiting, and take it gently. Warm.

 

The distant figure vaguely smiles – or is it a smile? And disappears –

 

A gentle woosh of the summer breeze.

 

That familiar scent, lingering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘NOONA!!!’

 

 

 

You burst awake, all strands of the memories, cut loose. You realised abruptly that hot tears were rolling down your cheeks and Mir was right in your face, shocked and intensely worried. He carefully approached you, his warm hands touching your wet cheeks. Confusion sparked and flared as you remembered once again, that small boy and that warm hand – was that Mir?

 

‘Ugh…’

 

More tears started streaming out, hot – You held your hand up in embarrassment to cry openly like this in front Mir, but he gently stopped you and opened his arms in a silent invitation to comfort. Without thinking twice, you leant forward to his embrace, enjoying that peculiar scent of oranges as you buried your head in his tanned shoulders. His strong heartbeat chased away all the crazy mix of thoughts, bringing you to a sense of odd protection. You clung to him, feeling strange as your roles seemed to have been swapped.

 

He chuckled and patted your head. ‘There, there.’

 

You frowned slightly at his joking tone, but was relieved to see that he was no longer worried. You suddenly noticed how big he was now – enough to hold you comfortably in his arms, and no longer that small boy you knew…

 

…Wait.

 

Small boy? When was Mir ever a small boy? You wracked your brains silently to come up with your childhood memories that you always thought you cherished, but now that you’re trying to remember them, they slipped away – no matter how much you tried.

 

‘What…?’ You whispered, feeling more and more foreign to the pair of warm arms. Mir was your brother – he has been with you since you were born, and since you...

 

‘Noona?’

 

You started and looked upwards to meet his anxious expression. You sighed at your momentary confusion and hit yourself mentally – how could you doubt your sibling’s genuinity? Seriously – it must be a state-of-shock thing.

 

‘What’s wrong?’

 

‘Nothing.’

 

You smiled guiltily up to his worried face and patted his soft brown hair, your eyes automatically going to the sparkling black eye glitter and the black eyeliner.

 

…What?

 

The tangy undertone of sweat, sticking to his toned body. You looked up to his hair with a sharp intake of breath–

 

Slightly tousled perfect hair, make-up, neon skinnies and sweat.

 

Oh. No.

 

Mir blinked in alarm as you slipped from his arms and sunk into the white duvet.

 

‘Hey, noona…?’ He asked carefully, his worried tone leaving you feeling guiltier than ever.

 

You pulled the duvet up to cover your head. ‘I… I missed your show again, right?’ You mumbled, biting your inner lip. You could literally feel the disappointment Mir felt when his sister missed his concert the 5^th time in a row. Not including his debut showcase.

 

He chuckled, and you were horrified as you detected that slight hint of sadness.

 

‘It’s fine.’

 

‘No… It’s not fine….’

 

There was a moment of silence, and unable to bear the heavy atmosphere, you burst out of the duvet, prying out a surprised gasp from Mir. With a determined look, you grabbed his right pinkie finger and hooked it onto yours.

 

‘Right.’ You said, staring deeply into his surprised eyes. ‘I will personally be your slave for life if I don’t turn up to your next one – From the starting minute to the last. I’ll even throw in attending the after party! And… You know how much I hate those?’ You added uncertainly, seeing that his expression remained stoic all the way through.

 

A small silence.

 

Mir spurted into laughter, raising a frown and a pout from your face.

 

‘I was being perfectly serious.’

 

He flung himself into the bed and smiled up to you.

 

‘Of course you are – next time, hm?’ He patted your arm and closed his eyes, burying his head into the worn pillow.

 

You rolled your eyes. ‘Go to your own bed…’ But he was already in deep sleep before you could make any attempts to chuck him out. You sighed resignedly and settled yourself down too, possibly feeling guiltier than you already were as you thought about how exhausted Mir must have been.

 

 

‘Good night….’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I... TOOK SO OOOOOO LONG TO WRITE THIS THAT I MAY DIE IF I READ IT THROUGH TO CORRECT IT 0___________0 This chapter has to be one of the most challenging...........................................

ㅠ please pardon all my mistakes and the unnatural flow ㅠㅠ - but if there is something that's really bothering you, then please tell me ㅠㅠ

*Dies from exhaustion*

 

p.s - this is NOT ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ before anyone's like 'IT'S INDECENT~'