Yes, yes, I know I've been gone for so long. Real life has been hectic, but I hope this extra-long chapter (18 pages, 10K) makes up for it.

A word of caution. This is the end of the Yixing-and-Iola-got-together mini-arch, and it contains ; hence the M rate I put next to the title . So if it's not your cup of tea, I'd suggest for you to leave the page and I will see you in the next chapter :)

Also, please don't expect too much of the ...? It's not my first time writing it, but I somehow got difficulty writing this one and is still not 100% satisfied with it OTL *runsawaytohide*

Iola let a content sigh escaped when Yixing pulled back slightly, his forehead leaning on hers. She opened her eyes to see him looking down at her, pupils blown and dark, face flushed, mouth red and wet from spit. He looked like he’d been kissed within an inch of his life and she couldn’t help feeling a swell of pride knowing that she had done that to him, letting out a smug giggle.

Yixing raised his eyebrows, silently asking her but she just shook her head and looped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. Yixing didn’t object, but she could feel his smile as he kissed her again, soft and wet and addicting. His tongue swiped across her bottom lip and fell open instantly, barely resisting a moan as Yixing’s tongue caressed hers.

With his arms tight around her waist and his weight deliciously heavy on top of hers, Iola tilted her head to the side to give him a better angle. Yixing hummed, at each and every part of and Iola whimpered, unconsciously opening her legs wider to accommodate Yixing better. Her hands roamed across his back, running up and down his tunic until it snagged at the end of the fabric and her fingers found a small patch of skin uncovered, rubbing it slightly.

Then the weight on top of her and the hot kisses were gone.

Iola blinked, trying to orientate herself. Yixing was already standing by the side of the bed, hair wild and disheveled, still slightly out of breath.

“Uhm… I….it’s getting late, I think I should prepare for bed.” And without another word he’d practically ran all the way to the bathroom, slamming the door shut in his wake.

Iola blinked again, looking at the empty spot where Yixing was, before turning her gaze to the closed door. A frustrated sigh escaped her and she slumped back into the mattress.

This thing has been going on for far too often now.

After they got the (somewhat) permission from her father and brothers to be dating each other, Yixing and her have been moving forward in their relationship steadily. The other Guardians have resigned themselves to the fact that one of their brothers was now courting their charge and let them be, trusting that they know what they were getting into. Though Yixing did mention that his brothers had each called him for a talk, something that Iola suspected fell in the same line as what her own father and brothers tell him, though Yixing only laughed when she asked and just told her not to worry about it.

The good thing that came out from the whole ordeal was that they don’t have to pretend anymore. They could easily hold hands on their walk, stealing kisses behind closed door between assembly meetings, and no one bat an eye when Yixing never went back to his room anymore at night.

Things were great between them. At least, that was what Iola thought. But clearly she was wrong, if the way Yixing ran from her like she was an axe murderer was any indication. Iola resisted the urge to let out a frustrated scream as she buried herself more into the pillow, wondering if she can suffocate from it, instead.

Yixing has been doing that running away from her thing more and more often now. Now that she’d thought about it, he’d always ran away or made an excuse whenever their make-out session got a bit too heavy. She didn’t know why and whenever she tried to ask him about it he’d always make a flimsy excuse or just laughed it all off. Her mind tried to recall back to the last few weeks, wondering if she’d done anything wrong, or perhaps miss a sign of why Yixing was behaving like this but her mind came up blank. He’d treated her the same during the day, with the same loving look and gentle touches, and once they were alone in her room he would kiss her like it was their last day together and they’d spend hours making out, before he’d ran off like his pants was on fire. Then after some time he would come back to bed but won’t try anything else, just pulled her to his side and urged her to sleep.

Her head lifted up from the pillow as a new thought occurred. Was she moving too fast? But as quick as the thought came, she was as quick to dismiss it. They have been in a relationship for almost half a year now, and have been through things most couples never been through and came out stronger because of it. She’d say that they already have a solid base in their relationship.

For Iola, was a natural thing that happen when two people loves each other, a way of really connecting to each other in a different level. It is a beautiful experience when done with the right reason, of loving and trusting someone deep enough to give yourself up to the other person. And Iola would not mind to have that with Yixing. So why does he keep pushing her away?

Another thought came to mind then; a darker, much more depressing one. Did Yixing find her not attractive enough that he doesn’t want to sleep with her?

Iola always knew she would never have the waif-thin bodies’ models or celebrities have, nor does she have the snow-white complexion most men seemed to go crazy about. It never bothered her before, confident and content in her own skin. But her self-confidence sure suffered a blow tonight, what with the way Yixing ran from her like she was the plague.

The depressing thought continued to stay with her, so much so she’d barely register Yixing’s presence, only slightly jumpy when he put an arm around her waist, pulling her until her back collided with his chest. The small kiss he bestowed on her shoulder was his way of apologizing, she knew, but her mind was too depressed to offer more than just a hum and she drifted off to sleep with a frown.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Iola still had a dark cloud hovering above her as she walked along the well-known path. The moment the morning council assembly was over she requested for some time alone, reciting exhaustion as the excuse. The Guardians were quick to offer to her back to her chambers but Iola refused, stating that she’d prefer to go to the small woods beside Sagiv so she could be with the spirits instead.

They complied with her wish, though Wufan was quick to remind her to bring the drachensteins with her, knowing that she likes to be alone when she wants to talk to the spirits. They went with her as far as the edge of the woods before she set off alone, letting Remus and Romulus led the way.

“Someone looks like they get out of the wrong side of the bed.”

A small gust of wind blew her bangs, messing up her hair and Iola grumbled, frowning as she narrowed her eyes at the almost invisible silhouette.

“Not now Makani, I’m in no mood for some jokes.”

Makani raised an eyebrow, a teasing smirk grazing his lips. “Well now, you sure are being grumpy today, human girl.”

Iola rolled her eyes and just continued walking, marching forward until she came over a small clearing and immediately head over to a large, red tree. Settling herself at the trunk as the drachensteisn draped themselves over her lap, she looked up.

“Grandmother Livne, Mother Teirra, Yarah, Talini,” she whispered softly. “Are you there?”

The tree’s trunk behind her shuddered and the earth groaned, as a soft drizzle dotted with snowflakes fell all around her. The hum in her head intensified and Iola closed her eyes to see the multitude string of colors swirled and twirled in a dance across the expanse of her mind, before it all settled down again and she opened her eyes.

Mother Teirra looked up from the earth just next to her folded legs, gazing kindly as the golden grass grew around her face as if a halo. “Hello, child.”

A small branch lowered down to her hair and Iola looked up with a smile at the face that appeared on the tree’s trunk. “Grandmother Livne.”

A shy laugh caught her ear and she looked ahead again to grin at Yarah, waving her hand at Talini who appeared beside the water spirit.

“You called for us, Chosen Soul?”

Iola rolled her eyes fondly at the title. “I’ve told you so many times to just call me Iola, Yarah.”

Yarah just laughed some more as Talini shook her head, her ice crystal hairs twinkling like chimes. “What seems to be the problem, you’ve never call all of us before.”

A snort was heard and Iola startled, forgetting that Makani was there. Talini narrowed her eyes, pointing an accusing finger at the wind spirit.

“If this fatty, bloaty bag of air is your problem Iola, then I have to say I couldn’t agree more with you. He’s always been a problem.”

Makani scoffed. “Oh shut up, you wrinkly block of ice.”

“What did you say?!”

“What, are you ugly and deaf, too?”

“You-!”

“Guys!” Iola resisted the idea of massaging her temple. “Can’t you stop fighting for a second? I could really use your help here, so can you just please stop. And Makani, I’m sorry.” She offered the spirit an apologetic smile. “But I was thinking of having a somewhat girls’ talk, so can you……?”

Makani huffed, floating higher until Iola couldn’t see him. “Alright, I know when I’m not wanted.” The small, playful gust of wind that swayed her let Iola knew that the spirit wasn’t really mad and Iola made a mental note to thank him later. 

“So….” A sprinkle of water fell on her skin as Yarah smiled. “What is so important that you want to talk to us?”

Iola opened , before closing it tightly once she found she had trouble in formulating her worry. Pulling her knees to her chest she buried her head on them, mumbling dejectedly.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

A light scratch brushed the top of her head. “What did you say, dear?”

Iola shifted, leaning sideway so she can peer at the face on the tree’s trunk. “Is something wrong with me?” she repeated somewhat sheepishly.

“Why would you say that?”

Talini nudged Yarah with a sly smirk. “I bet it has something to do with that boy she is always with.”

“Is that true, dear?’ Mother Teirra’s eyes were full of concern as small, leafy vines sprouted from the earth and cradled Iola’s cheeks. “Is this about that boy you are with, the Guardian of Healing? Has he done something to you?”

Iola groaned. “That’s the problem: he won’t do anything to me.”

A few seconds of silence ensued before Talini broke into a snicker as she nudged Yarah again eagerly. Grandmother Livne’s branch hung in a frozen act just above Iola’s head and Mother Teirra’s vines were slowly slinking back to the ground before Iola realized what she just said and she leaped up in a hurry, face flushing hotly.

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant!” At Talini’s disbelief smirk she spluttered again. “I-I mean….it’s what I meant, but not exactly what I meant!”

The vines slithered up again, holding her wrist in a gentle grip and pulled Iola down until she settled back to the ground.

“Tell us what’s really bothering you, dear one.”

Iola played with vines absentmindedly as she took a deep breath, comforted by the scratches Grandmother Livne left across her hair.

“I thought things were going great, now that Yixing’s and I’s relationship are out in the open. And in some way it is great, it’s just that…..” She lowered her head, feeling the beginning of a blush creeping across her cheeks. “He’d spend the night in my room and we would kiss and make out and it was all good, but…. He never take any step further than that.”

Again silence ensued, intercepted by Talini’s scoff before Grandmother Livne coughed somewhat awkwardly. “Well now….this is certainly not what I was expecting.”

The vines around her wrist tightened just slightly. “Do you….want him to do something?”

Iola was sure her face was flaming by now. “Well uh…isn’t it normal, to move to the next stage in the relationship?”

Yarah tilted her head to the ide, flicking water everywhere. “I wouldn’t know, I never have any relationship before.”

“You’re not missing anything, trust me,” Talini scoffed. “Men, no matter their shape, either human or spirits, are just a big ball of ego, bundled in self-righteous pompousness and wafting masculine pride, with none whatsoever regard to me, I mean, us women and they’re just-“

Grandmother Livne coughed loudly. “Yes well, we know how you feel about the gender in general, Talini, but it’s Iola we’re talking about here.”   

The vines across her wrist slithered back up again to brush a bang behind Iola’s ear. “What do you want, dear?”

Iola leaned her cheek more on the leafy vines’ touch, closing her eyes with a sigh. “I don’t know, Mother Teirra. He told me he loves me, and I love him back, and I thought that we’d take the next step but apparently I was wrong.”

“You said it yourself, Chosen Soul. The Guardian loves you, so perhaps what he’s doing is in your best interest.” When Iola just shot her a deadpanned look Yarah just shrugged.  “Or so he thinks.”

“But what is it? He won’t talk to me and whenever I tried to ask he’d always change the topic.” Iola sighed, feeling self-pity wallowing her down. “Maybe he doesn’t love me as much as I thought he did.”

Iola yelped as a branch lowered down to smack her head. “OUCH! Grandmother, that hurts!”

Grandmother Livne had a frown on her face, a branch still rose up threateningly. “I’m sorry child, but someone has to put some sense into you.”

“By smacking me?!”

“If necessary, yes.” The old woman’s face still sported a frown but the branch lowered down to scratch Iola’s hair again, much more gently this time. “Have you seen the way that boy looks at you? He loves you, no doubt about that.”

“Then why has he been avoiding me?”

A small snowflake fell at the top of her nose and Iola almost crossed her eyes trying to see it. Talini chuckled, blowing some more snowflakes towards her that made Iola yelped in protest.

“Grandmother Livne is right; whatever the problem is it’s surely not because of that boy’s lack of affection for you.”

Yarah smiled, reaching out a cool, watery hand to grasp Iola’s. “As much as we want to, this is not something we can help you with, Chosen Soul.”

“This is a matter of you and that Guardian.” Mother Teirra spoke softly as the leafy vines patted Iola’s cheek. “So talk to him, dear one.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At the back of her mind Iola knew she should talk to Yixing, her conversation with the spirits and their advice from this morning still fresh in her mind. But it was so hard to concentrate on anything else when Yixing was kissing her like this, his warmth enveloping her and arms strong around her waist. She rubbed his sides up and down before settling at the small of his back, slowly inching her fingers underneath his tunic.

Then the kisses stopped, the warmth gone, and Yixing was already standing beside her bed, ready to make his escape. She didn’t quite hear what his excuse was this time, too engulfed in the negative emotions her mind supplied her with. As Yixing turned to go to the bathroom her eyes followed him.

“Am I not good enough?”

The words were out of before she even realized it and she desperately hoped that Yixing didn’t hear it, but the way he was frozen on the spot let her know her wish was futile.

Slowly he turned around, eyes wide and mouth opened slightly. “….what?”

Iola shrugged easily, masking the heavy lump in . “Just like that. Am I not beautiful enough, not y enough or something? Because I got the feeling that you don’t want me…” Her last words were softened to a barely-there whisper and she lowered her head, fiddling with the bed sheets underneath her.

Within seconds the mattress besides her dipped and her chin was raised up, only for Yixing to kiss her almost desperately, lowering themselves back to bed while never letting go of Iola’s mouth like he couldn’t breathe without it. When he pulled back they were both breathing hard and Iola was sure was swollen and wet with spit.

“Of all the stupid, silly things you would think,” Yixing started, voice low and almost menacing and Iola couldn’t help but shiver from it. “How can you even think that you’re not good enough, that I wouldn’t want you?” His body pressed her down even more on the bed and Iola gasped as she could feel his hardness on her thigh, eyes darting up to see Yixing’s smirk.

“I would always, always want you,” he punctuated his word with pressing down further, Iola’s legs opening by themselves so he could settle more comfortably between her legs.

“B-but…you…” Iola’s words were jumbled, delicious electricity running up and down her boys as Yixing grinded his lower body even more, rubbing almost wantonly on her clothed core and she tried futilely to push him back. “Y-you…you never take anything further besides kissing.”

At that Yixing finally pulled back and Iola was torn between feeling relief of having some space between them so that she could tidy up her mind and groaning in frustration at the loss of his warmth.

“That was….that was because…,”

Yixing looked sheepish, a small shy smile on his lips and eyes refusing to meet hers, and Iola had a sudden suspicion.

“Yixing……are you….a ?”

At that Yixing’s eyes almost bulged out of its sockets, putting even more distance between themselves as he flopped down on the mattress besides her, shock still evident on his face.

“W-what?”

Iola shrugged. “Hey, it’s okay if you are. I mean, I’m not, but it’s not a big deal. Oh God, is that why you’ve been pushing me off? Because you’re afraid I’d have more experience than you?”

“Iola-“

“Because it really doesn’t matter! I mean, we all start somewhere and we could learn together and-“

“Iola!”

Iola stopped, eyes wide as she turned to Yixing. He looked between exasperated and amused, though there was a hint of anger in his usually gentle eyes.

“I’m not a ,” he spoke slowly.

Iola blinked. “You’re not?”

“No, I’m not.”

“B-But….how?”

Yixing’s smirk grew wider and if anyone else was doing it Iola would think it was condescending but Yixing only make it seems y.

“Well, it usually involves a man and a woman, who ideally would care about each other, than they would-“

Iola rolled her eyes as she smacked his arm. “I know that! What I meant was…..when? When was your first time?”

He shrugged easily. “It was a long time ago, back when I was still a teenager and not a Guardian yet. She was part of the trade caravan that pass by Sagiv and we became close during the months they camped here.”

There was a bitter taste in and Iola could feeling the tendrils of jealousy swirling around her chest. “I see. Is she the only one? I mean, the only one you’ve ever been with?”

Yixing’s only answer was the raise of one of his eyebrows and his slightly judging look and Iola felt stupid for even asking.

“Yeah, you’re right, I don’t think I want to know the answer of that question.” She narrowed her eyes. “But that doesn’t explain why you always pull back whenever we were getting…intimate.”

In his defense, Yixing did look sheepish. “It was not my intention to make you feel bad, believe me. I don’t know whether you want to or not, and I thought I should be a gentleman and not force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

Iola’s mouth opened on its own accord. Well now……that was a reason she never thought of before.

But now that she thought about it, she shouldn’t be surprised that Yixing would think like that. He’d always been courteous and polite, and manner and etiquette in this world is much stricter than what she was used to, so of course he’d do something like that.

“…Iola?”

Iola jerked out of her thought to find Yixing peering at her with concerned eyes. “I’m sorry Iola, I never meant to hurt you or made you think that I wouldn’t want you.”

Iola released a breath, shooting him a small grin. “No, that’s alright Yixing, that was very sweet of you to think like that. In fact, I’m the one who should be saying sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

She bumped his shoulder playfully, only snorting when Yixing yelped in mock pain, before both of them burst into chuckles. Once their laugh died down Yixing stared at her, eyes intense and curious.

“What about you?”

“Me?” Iola pointed a finger to herself. “What about me?”

“Before, you said that you’re also not a .”

Iola blanched. She did say that and was now beginning to wonder whether she didn’t just make a mistake by admitting that fact.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that this world she was currently residing in was in a completely different time than her own, somewhat more like the medieval period of her own world and hence have a different set of moral and values. She never gave it much thought before, but now under the intense scrutiny of Yixing’s gaze, she wondered whether the fact that she was not a anymore would be considered as shameful here. Considering the fact that Yixing just basically admitted that he was being a gentleman by not sleeping with her, she could only assume that it was the proper thing to do.

And yet, she couldn’t help to feel a small rage at the double standard. Men could easily sleep around with many women and no one would bat an eye. And yet, a woman who is no longer a would be considered impure and promiscuous.

And it’s not even like she slept around, she huffed internally. There were only two boys she ever slept with her entire life. The first one was her first boyfriend in high school, where they both lose their ities to each other in a somewhat cliché, after-prom scenario. Then the next one was her college boyfriend, a one-year older senior and the longest relationship she had. They broke up amiably when he got offered a scholarship abroad and both decided not to pursue a long-distance relationship.

After that she had been living a somewhat celibate life. She went out to clubs and all, but she never had with any other men even as her friends continuously have one-night-stands. She doesn’t judge them for that; it just