Time frame: Guardians' childhood. Boys already gathered at Haven Sanctuary: Luhan, Joonmyun, Minseok, Wufan, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol

The first time Jongin was lost, he was five years old.

He was bored out of his mind. His mother had gone to the market and his older sisters were playing with the neighbors, but when Jongin wanted to go play with them they had told him to stay put because he was too little. Jongin wanted to scream and stomped his foot in irritation but that would only prove his sisters’ point so he just bit his lips hard so he won’t cry and sulk at the other edge of the lawn, feeling sorry for himself.

The sound of a door opening from his house caught his ears and he perked up, a grin began to bloom on his young face along with his mother’s sweet voice calling him. Jongin stood up on chubby legs, running as fast as he can to the house. Mother always brought some sweets from the market and he wanted to have first pick.

Jongin could hear his sisters behind him and he picked up his pace, but his legs were short and he wanted to cry because any moment now his sisters would pass him and he won’t have the best sweets anymore. If only he could get to his mother faster….

The next thing Jongin knew he was in a vast, inky darkness. There was nothing around him, no pinprick of light to see his surrounding, only the dark all around him.

Jongin was scared. He didn’t like the dark, always insisted that his mother left a candle burning whenever she tucked him into bed. But there was no candle in this place, nothing that could tell him where he was or where to go.

Jongin tried to run around but everywhere was the same black and his chest began to ache and burn and salty tears trailed down his cheeks. He wanted his mother, his father, even his sisters.

The next thing he knew he was in front of his mother, who seemed surprised to find her son suddenly in front of her. Any confusion went out the window when she saw his sobbing state and quickly picking him up in her arms with soothing touches.

Jongin held her in a tight grip, sobbing and hiccupping about being lost in a dark place. He could hear his sisters behind them, yelling that he was on fire. Panicking slightly, Jongin looked down to see a trail of black smoke coming from the soles of his feet. His sisters gaped at him and Jongin himself was stunned, still looking down at his feet checking for any burn though he felt no pain. His mother only tightened her grip on him, pressing a long kiss on his temple.

That night when his mother gave him his bath, Jongin exclaimed in surprise at a mark on his left chest, depicting a small tree. It wasn’t there before, Jongin was sure of it, and he tried to scrub at it but his mother’s hand stilled his movement. She didn’t seem as shocked to see the mark, though the tremble of her hand as she trailed a finger on the black ink was evident.

Later when she tucked him into bed she spend a longer time than usual running her fingers through his hair as she sang lullabies, the sweet, soft notes followed him to his dreams.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That was when everything began to change for Jongin.

His father would have this proud gaze whenever he looked at him, while his sisters were a bit apprehensive and wary toward him, though Jongin was happy that they now included him in all of their games.

But it was his mother who had changed the most. She would hugged him a little tighter, kissed him a little longer, spend more time watching over him until he fell asleep at night. None of the rest of the family said anything about it, and Jongin enjoyed the extra affection his mother bestowed on him.

If only she didn’t have that melancholy look in her eyes with tears pooled in her eyelashes, how sometimes she would gaze at Jongin for so long, like she wanted to embed his face into her memory.

Just a few short months before his sixth birthday, Jongin left his family.

An older woman called Matron Tanzi came to his house, there to see Jongin. She asked to look at his mark and seemed very satisfied by it. She then rolled out a map with twelve different pictures, of which one of them he was immediately interested in. Jongin couldn’t took his eyes off of it and spend some times just caressing the picture, a small triangle with a circle on the center of it.

Perhaps if Jongin knew what that picture meant, he wouldn’t admire it so much.

Because then Matron Tanzi told him he would be the future Guardian and that she would bring him to Sagiv where he could train with his other fellow Guardians.

Jongin screamed and cried and yelled. He didn’t want to leave his small but comfortable house. He didn’t want to leave his father, who makes the best whistle out of the long reeds that grew abundantly along the river. He didn’t want to leave his sisters, who like to but always gave him the plumpest fruits from the family’s orchard. He didn’t want to leave his mother, with her warm hugs and soft kisses and the best lullaby to send him to sleep.

But most of all, Jongin didn’t want to be lost again.

Because even as young as he is, a part of him understood that the darkness he was lost in once had something to do with his ability as a future Guardian, and Jongin didn’t want to experience that vast emptiness ever again.

He had cry so hard his chest hurt and it was difficult to breathe, but at the end he was permitted for one more night at home before being taken to Sagiv.

That night Jongin lay beside his mother, gripping her as tight as his small arms could, telling her between sobs and hiccups of his fear. His mother just his hair calmly, dropping a kiss every now and then on his head to calm him, singing softly under her breath until Jongin fell asleep. The last thing he remembered was his mother’s voice telling him everything will be alright in the end.

When Matron Tanzi came to pick him up the next day, Jongin was still scared but tried to be a brave little boy, because that was what his father told him he was. Father had picked him up in his arms, kissed his forehead and told him he was so proud of him. His sisters had packed a cloth bag with his favorite fruits and gave him a long hug. His resolve to be brave crumbled though, when it was time to say goodbye to his mother.

Wrenching his hand out of the Matron’s grip, he ran to his mother’s arm, tears already wetting his cheeks.

“I don’t want to leave, Mama! Why do I have to go? Won’t you miss me?”

He could felt his mother tremble, even as kisses were rained on his face. “Silly boy. You are my silly baby boy, of course I’ll miss you! But…” She pulled back a little and Jongin could see her watery eyes, even though she had a smile on. “But you are destined to be something greater than this, and I would never keep you from fulfilling your destiny.”

Jongin hiccupped, burying his head into her neck. “What if I got lost again, Mama? What if I can’t find you?”

His whisper was so low he was almost sure she wouldn’t hear it. But she only ran her hand through his hair, rubbing her wet cheek to his.

“Ah, silly boy. You will never not find me, because I will always be here.” She pulled back, nudging his chin until he looked up at her again. “And even if you do lose your way sometime, you will meet other boys like you. They will be your brothers, and they will always help you find your way back again.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jongin had more or less settled into the Haven Sanctuary. The place was large and some of its hallways damp and cold and he missed the hot sun and warm breeze of his hometown, but the fireplace were always lighted up and the cheery dancing shadows on the wall caused by the fire chased off his melancholy.

The Matrons running the Sanctuary were also nice and took care of him well. At first he had misgivings over Matron Tanzi, seeing that she was the one who took him away from his home, but the old woman had proven to be a substitute mother figure, always the first one who bandaged Jongin’s knees when he scraped it over a tumble and made sure there was a lighted candle on his bedside before he sleeps.  

He had been apprehensive over meeting the other boys at first. Matron Tanzi had told him that there were only seven boys besides himself at the Sanctuary at the moment; they still haven’t found the rest though the two leaders were already there. Jongin was rather glad that there weren’t more of them. Shy and quiet by nature, Jongin wasn’t good with meeting new people and he dreaded to meet the boys who he will spend most of his times with.

It didn’t help that the first boy he met there was Wufan, who was tall for his age with a permanent scowl on his face. Jongin had flinched when the other boy even looked at his direction, but when Wufan had introduced himself with a wide smile that showed his gums and two missing teeth, Jongin immediately relaxed.

Joonmyun was the complete opposite, a smile always etched on his face and he clucked and fussed over Jongin, immediately taking him under his wings.

Whenever Luhan was around Jongin would flushed, the tip of his ears burned with embarrassment over recollection of how he had thought the older boy was a girl at first, due to the fact that the other had smooth complexion and beautiful doe-eyes. Luhan had pouted and grumbled at first, before breaking into a wide smile and tackled Jongin into a bone-crushing hug.

Kyungsoo was also one of the boys Jongin was close to; the other always seemed to sense when Jongin was homesick and would climb into bed w