Chapter 7!

“Good morning, Ma’am-- Ma’am Hyoyeon? Aigoo Ma’am it’s really nice to see you again! You didn’t change that much ma’am, you’re still beautiful as always.”  

 I smiled.

The security guard in the lobby greeting me, he is an old face; someone who knew me.

As I walked towards the front desk, I was then again greeted... but now, with someone I've never seen before"

“Good morning, Ma’am. How can I help you?”

“I am visiting a friend in unit—-”

A new employee, they have changed the receptionist after three long years. For that certain face, I am unknown.

I treaded… walked… laboriously setting foot on this once familiar destination—-my old home. But instead of focusing on my past haven, I am here for a reason—-Junho.

I will make him know me, again.

I will make him want me, again.

I will make him love me until he is left with nothing.

This is my payback.

The elevator opened and I stepped outside with a firmer grasp of what I was planning to do. There is no backing out this time. I know.

The sight of my former home made me relive the old me, my life, my love… everything that I owned before.

For a few minutes, I stopped and looked at the front door of my unit. I was standing outside like a usual stranger but with non-stranger thoughts. Every nook and every corner of this unit I did know. Every hole, every stain that its walls hold… I knew of.

“Miss, looking for someone?”

I was zoning out when a young man greeted me. I was brought back to my present, guessing that my past refuge, now houses a whole new master.

“Sorry, I was actually waiting for someone.” I lied.

He smiled then left immediately. And as he walked off, I continued my pace towards Junho’s unit.

I knocked and my heart raced.

Hyo… you can do it. I am convincing myself.

I heaved a sigh and knocked anew. My heart’s beating fast.

“Hyo?”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?”

I took another step. This time, the gap between us was closer.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

I could feel his momentary shock upon seeing me. Oh yes, our first few meetings were random and strangely interesting.

The first encounter was bittersweet. I was talking with Donghae that time when I saw him. He insisted on walking me home. I was holding back. I almost forgot my plan.

The second was a bit expected. I put up a different face, acted defiantly so I could show him the different me. The plan resurfaced.

The third was neither bittersweet nor expected. I was in the park when he approached. I offered him my drink. He drank. Little did he know that it was a prelude of what I plan to do- to make him feel more welcome? I could say that.

I slipped somehow. I spoke too soon, sending him a message through my words.

“I fell in love Junho. I was in deep when I went there. I was broken that I almost hated you.”

His face showed everything. He was hurt. There was that spot of pain and I could almost feel it for it was too palpable. It felt good.

And as he ushered me inside… my plan ensued.

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She looked divine in a tube top dress. It revealed her shoulders.

Her face had none of the heavy makeup that women her age usually sport nowadays.

Looking at her now, outside my doorstep… it’s like seeing the old Hyoyeon… the simplicity that I always loved.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

“Sorry, yeah, sure, come in.”

I ushered her in and I forgot that my pad was a mess. There were stacks of boxes in one corner and a few more wrapped items in the next.

“Moving out?”

She turned around asking.

“Yeah.”

“Hmmm… why?

I just hoped that it would be easy for me to say that I was moving out so I could finally move on.

How I wished that I could simply tell her that I was vacating this premise in exchange for a chance that could make me forget the pain that was totally about her, about us…

That right now, I was partly divided, that I would give forgetting a try despite my heart’s disapproval.

But how about the…

“I want to know you, Hyoyeon. I want to know what happened to you. I want you to know me again. I want some things to change, too.”

My inner self voiced out.

 “Ah, change of environment? And a good friend gave me this offer that I could not refuse. It was a fairly irresistible deal.” I continued while she gave me one of those looks- her eyes robbing me of my thoughts.

She then moved around until she reached the veranda.

“We used to stay here in the middle of the night. I remembered you calling me from here. It’s really funny ‘coz I’m only a unit away. We had fun here. right?”

She was asking me point blank.

And if she was referring to holding hands, cuddling and making out… definitely.

“We did.”

She then scanned the entire room with that loving look in her eyes. I was taken back to such time when we used to prepare dinner, watch TV or simply kidding around.

“And this, you still have this?”

She was now inside approaching a dresser that was now located in my living room; it was part of the other things that would soon be hauled up.

She was holding this wooden frame with my picture on it. It was taken in Jeju… yeah, that was our first trip together.

“It was shot in Jungmun beach right? You know, maybe it’s nice to go back there again. I wonder if it still looks the same… It’s better if we can go there again with Yuri & Nickhun. Just like the old times, what do you think?”

Hearing her speak and seeing her act this way… seems so different. But it felt good. It’s nice to think that she’s here, in front of me, welcoming my presence. I don’t even feel any awkwardness, anger or anything coming from her.

This was my heart thinking, I know.

“I don’t think Donghae-sshi will like the idea.”

She looked at me upon hearing his name. A different glow sets in. It’s as if hearing his name was a breath of fresh air. That quite hurt.

She placed the frame back inside the open box.

“Donghae. Hmm… he trusts me. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“You looked happy… with him.”

“Do I really look happy with him? Happier than when we were still together?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hahaha, are you jealous?”

It was unexpected. For a moment, it felt like a retort for it should be but it sounded teasing, it seemed she was playing with my mind.

And as much as I wanted to stay firmer with my decision … I knew that I would still play this game… that if she gambled on me… I would willingly take the chance.

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