Chapter 4!

Seeing this new guy brought me to a whole new sense of wondering… in an instant, I began to question my purpose… what I wanted to do… how I will do things. Hyoyeon was right- some things have changed.

My eyes felt heavy, sweat forming in my forehead as I went for another run. The weather was perfect but it seemed blurred for I can’t take my mind off the fact that she was already taken. Am I really that late?

That night, they left together while I was stuck with Nickhun. I drank until I could no longer walk; I even had to spend the night in their guest room. I drank too much for I intended to. I had no plans of going home.

The next morning, Yuri and Nickhun spoke to me. They knew what I was going through and Yuri’s words rang to me like a player on replay mode.

“Junho, it’s been three years. You should’ve expected it already. Don’t take it against Hyoyeon, maybe she just wanted to start anew… maybe, she just didn’t think that she will be coming back here again… that there is still someone waiting for her here… especially when the accident happened… I know you love my best friend but… moving on wasn’t a sin, Junho. You should try it…”

As if moving on was easy. If it was, then I have tried it a long time ago.

Morning runs are good. Get some exercise, Junho. Beef up.

A few more rounds and I would cap this day in no time. I ran within the village. I saw a couple of people that morning but one figure caught my eye- it was her again. Hyoyeon.

She wasn’t really exercising or anything. Instead, she was in the park, sitting on that wooden bench. I would have wanted to ignore her presence but when she looked my way, I halted. I decided to approach her.

“Hi!”

“Hi.” She answered. I was breathing heavily. The morning jog was fun but tiring. It is only now that I noticed.

“Want some?” She asked while handing to me her flask. I smiled and reached for it. I took a gulp.

“Thanks.”

“Working out, I see.” Her smiles used to excite my mornings. I know this is bad for every time I see her, memories become more apparent.

“And you, what are you doing here?”

I sat on the grass, facing her, waiting for her response.

“Getting some fresh air, I do this every morning since I came here. Doing so reminds me of Boston.”

Boston. It was her home for three years. A place that I had no chance of visiting; a place where she stayed and built newer memories, with other people, with faces unknown to myself.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She suddenly asked. Clearly, I was looking at her the whole time.

“What happened to you, Hyoyeon? How did you change so much?”

A few seconds passed and she remained unmoved by my words. The look on her face- it is a mix of both pain and surprise. It was a brave question for at the back of my mind, I knew that her answer might hurt. But my eagerness to know… my yearning to find answers was greater.

“I fell in love Junho. I was in deep when I went there. I was broken that I almost hate you.”

I was on my very spot, getting stabbed by those words. I could not figure what to make of it. But then she chuckled, her sullen look shifted. Now, she was smiling. It was a joke that I failed to digest.

“Hey, Mr. Lee… It’s only a joke okay. Don't take it personally. Hahaha!”

I forced out a smile.

“So you’re a joker now huh? last time I check that was me before. Hahaha!”

She stood up and took the flask in my hand. She started walking but I soon followed.

“Hey, remember the first time we met?”

She stopped and looked at me again. She seemed surprised by my question, too.

“Huh? Oh that, of course, why’d you ask?”

“Good.”

“Good?”

“Yeah, good. Coz it only means, you did not forget. Some things have changed but memories don’t…  And I’m okay with those memories, Hyo.”

“Junho…”

“Why? We’re friends. We’re on speaking terms. Even if you don’t want to give your number, haha!”

“Hahaha! So what are you trying to say? That I’m not a good friend?”

“You’re the one who said it not me, haha!” 

“So why do you want to get my number now mister?”  

I moved closer. I sensed her hesitation. I kept my gaze and my vision traveled all the way from her eyes down her lips.

“I want to know you again, Hyoyeon. I want to know what happened to you. I want you to know me again. I want some things to change, too.”

=============

The way he looks at me, it was still the same. His eyes pierce through me. His emotions ran in those eyes of his that each time he looks at me, I was brought back to that very time when I was in the car, crying myself out.

Two large yellow lights approaching…

My car was hit by a truck. And it was the image of the man, who I dearly loved that lastly sprung out. It was always the image of a man named Lee Junho.

It was like a film reel. The scenes of my life played in mere sequences.

My Dad and my orange bike…

My Mom and my new blue dress…

My Oppa and his infamous chili prank…

It felt strange… seeing my life in an almost dreamlike state. The people I love… my family… my best friend but if there’s a face that I longed to see as my minutes seemed numbered- it was him.

I could not feel anything. In my almost dying moment, I saw unfamiliar people… they hovered… some closed in on me… others tried saving me.

My legs… I could not move them. 

Voices… I could hear them but it felt non-existent. There were only murmurs… whispers… blood streaming down my face.

I knew that I should feel something. I should be in excruciating pain but as I slowly doze off… someone rushed to my side… crying… and again, his face appeared- Junho’s.

“Hyo, baby, please, wake up! Wake up!!! God, don’t die on me, baby… Please… I don’t think I can handle it… not now, not this time, please.”

If it was still a dream… I don’t know.

I was awoken by the alarm on my bedside table. I checked the time and it was half past four in the morning. I reached for my phone.

“Hello, Baby, sorry to wake you up but… yeah… it’s happening again… okay, okay… thank you. See you later, Donghae… bye.”

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