Chapter 15! (Finale)

 

 

(Flashback!)

 

 

Miss, you have another rose today.                              

 

It was the seventh day. I had my legs operated last week and since then, the nurse always had a lovely rose brought in my room every morning. For several times, I tried asking her who gave it but she said,

 

A friend.

 

I looked outside the window and I saw a little girl playing. She was with her brother, I guess, judging by the way they played and moved with each other.

 

I miss Heechul Oppa… my dear brother.

 

“Ms. Hyoyeon? Ma’am? You got to take your medicine.”

 

I did not budge. Medicines, they tasted bitter just like my life. Bitter.

 

I kept on asking why it was I, who need to suffer when I wasn’t the one who cheated.

 

Why should I even be in this situation while he was on the other side unaffected?

 

He is living his life while I was tied in this poor little wheelchair; a limited world with nothing and no one to even share my burdens with.

 

All my life I’ve been searching for that one great love and lost them twice.

 

Eunhyuk then him.

 

But Eunhyuk was different- he died. He left for he had no choice but him? He always has a choice.

 

“Hi!”

 

A man’s voice and it wasn’t surely his. I still hope that it’s him but why?

 

“Hi, Miss… Are you a Korean?”

 

I did not want to answer.

 

“I’m Donghae… you know, my sister is in the other room. Uhm… Actually I’ve been observing you earlier and I notice that you don’t have anyone here with you… Sorry, if I enter your room without any permission. The nurse knows that I’m here, don’t worry.”

 

As if I care.

 

“Do you want me to take you outside? I could do that but you need to take this medicine first.”

 

I slowly wheeled around and faced this stranger who took the risk to ask my name. My eyes roamed and examined this male in front of me. He took the moment to close in, handed me the pill and I took it willingly.

 

 

================

 

 

(Back to present!)

 

 

“Hyo? Didn’t you like it?”

 

Junho. He is handing me a similar red rose that I used to see every morning back in the hospital in Boston.

 

I softly smiled and accepted it.

 

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

 

The night when we arrived, Junho had been a very gracious host. He cooked us dinner, made things comfortable for me.

 

I was surprised when he brought out my overnight bag, which is apparently inside his trunk. I guessed it was either Donghae or Heechul Oppa who gave him the permission to get my things. Those boys... Tsk! Tsk!

 

“What are you thinking? Sorry if I had to do things this way, Hyo. I don’t know what else to do.”

 

Me and Junho sitting quietly overlooking the vast sea… sands nestling in between our feet… getting warmth through a bonfire that he started a while ago.

 

“Did you know that I was angry at you? That I planned all this? You know, living near your house... me & Donghae... I wanted you to love me again. I wanted you to fall deep and hard and then leave you?”

 

It had to be said, there’s no need for pretense this time, I know that.

 

He sighed. If only breaths could define feelings then I know that what he sighed about denoted something deep… pain perhaps?

 

“I know… somehow, I think I know… but I chose to look the other way and made myself believe that you’re not capable of doing so.”

 

“Why are you like this, Junho? Why aren’t you getting mad at me? If Donghae already told you then, aren’t you supposed to be angry? You should’ve not wanted to see me anymore?

 

I don’t want to cry in front of him for I am so dang tired of being the weakling in front him.

 

I don’t want him to see me crying because of him.

 

I don’t want him to see me getting affected.

 

He did not answer right away but then I saw something in his eyes… was it sadness or pain again?

 

He looked at me as if this was the only chance he had to look at me.

 

It runs deep… getting through me.

 

“Because I can’t get myself to be angry or mad at you, Hyo. Even though you hurt me, I still don’t want to. I just couldn’t imagine that we let our feelings led us into this kind of situation. What we had was so real, we shouldn’t be like this. I’ve realize that it was really hard to make mistakes. Even if it’s only one mistake… coz it took away everything I have. One mistake and look at you, look at us. We’re no longer the same. Every time I see you being like this now… I can't help but to blame myself because I did those things in the past. I regret that I made a huge mistake... 'Coz I’ve been your pain, it’s always been me… and no one else. Now, I know why you’re not happy… why you’re angry… it’s all because of me… it is entirely my fault… and that is the worst kind of feeling, seeing the person you truly love not happy, and knowing that you’re spending your time to hurt me, because I get it… seeing me meant facing your pain over & over again and the more I try, the more I cause you hurt.”

 

“Junho…”

 

“No, Hyo. I went to your place to tell Donghae-sshi what happened but when he told me everything, that changed my mind. I was supposed to fight for you… And it’s really funny because I told him that I had no plans of backing out… But you know what… it’s wrong. We’re not gonna be able to end this… Your hatred for me will not end as long as I’m here. That’s why I did this… for the chance that I wanted is this… and it is our last. I am making this our last. I am letting you go.”

 

Junho… last chance… letting go… so this is how it feels…

 

When he said his piece, my words of rebuttal just left me hanging… I was speechless.  We sat there long enough before heading back to our respective rooms.

 

His cheerfulness & mischief when he “abducted” me wasn’t there anymore. He never held my hand. He did not even try touching me. He kept his distance but he was smiling at me each time he looked and I couldn’t figure how to react.

 

When he led me to my room, he never even set foot inside. He waved and bid me good night.

 

But when I closed the door… that’s when I realize, that it hurts, when he said that he is making this night our last… I felt the pain again… I sat at the foot of the bed… and I felt my tears… slowly falling from my eyes… my chest was heaving and I was crying heavily for the same man… yes, it will always be him.

 

 

====================

 

 

It was the strangest night ever. I can’t also sleep.

 

When I assisted her towards her room, I tried to smile and bid her good night. Because, this is what I want… for her to be here with me… just the two of us.

 

It was past midnight when I went downstairs. And on my way up, I passed by her room.

 

Fortunately, it was unlocked. I went inside.

 

She was fast asleep. I sat on the edge of the bed.

 

The sheet had missed somehow thus causing her legs to be uncovered and there I saw what she was hiding by wearing long dresses, leggings and jeans.

 

Scars…

 

Time heals wounds but not scars. They remain. They leave a lasting mark.

 

I run a finger in one of those scars that reached her knee. She moved and I thought I woke her up but good thing I didn’t.

 

Earlier when I told her that I am making this night our last, I kept myself from crying. But--- seeing this scar... the scar that i knew I've caused her--- I felt so weak.

 

 

=================

 

 

(Flashback!)

 

 

“Good morning, I’m looking for a patient named Hyoyeon. Kim Hyoyeon.”

 

White walls. Large building. Nurses and medical workers walking past me. I came here a few days ago for I wanted to know how she was.

 

No one knows except Heechul and me.

 

“Junho, what are you doing here?”

 

“Hyoyeon, how is she?”

 

“She is having the operation this week. But I don’t think you can see her right now.”

 

“I know, I understand.”

 

“But don’t worry when she recovered, I will tell her that you’ve come to see her.”

 

“No.”

 

“No? But why?”

 

“I don’t want her to know. So please Heechul, whatever happens, don’t tell her that I’m here.”

 

I stayed until she gets operated. I knew that she never wanted to see me. The last time I spoke with Heechul, he made it clear.

 

“I’m sorry but she doesn’t really mention you. She doesn’t even want to hear your name. Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. What’s more important now is for her to recover fast.”

 

And that’s when I decided to just give her one red rose every single day. As much as I wanted to go near her, I don’t want her to see me. I don’t want to shock her. It’s enough that I knew that she is recovering.

 

A week after the operation, I went back to the Philippines.

 

Remembering it now… seeing her fast asleep, it hit me.

 

True enough, I was and will always be her pain. With scars or not, I truly am.

 

 

=======================

 

 

It was a long ride back home the next morning.

 

You know… the feeling of not wanting this day to come to an end. I felt it but I was not brave to say it.

 

I didn’t even notice that we’re home already… that his car had already pulled over in front of Heechul oppa’s abode.

 

“So uhm, I’ve returned you safe & sound… no more, no less. So maybe you wouldn’t charge me for kidnapping anymore.” 

 

I looked at him. And I wanted to say to him that I never wanted this day to end like this.

 

I just wanted to say that I’m no longer sure if I’m still angry at him or not.  

 

It was like that push and pull kind of thing; one reason pushes you to do what seems right but another force would pull you back as if reminding you that you shouldn’t push and try changing whatever you had in mind from the very beginning.

 

I was like battling with my emotions.

 

Do I love him still?

 

Should I let my pride prevail?

 

Is forgiveness taking place?

 

Was it too easy for him? Too quick?

 

Sadness hit me.

 

Am I like this because I know that this is our last?

 

That we don’t have the right to meddle on each other’s business after this but… isn’t this what I want?

 

“Of course, no lawsuits whatsoever. You’ve been the ideal kidnapper I must say.”

 

I shortened my own stupor by responding. His smile. His eyes. How he sees right through me in ways that only the Lee Junho could.

 

“So… this is it.”

 

“Yeah, I think it is.”

 

 When our eyes met, there’s this inexplicable silence that ruled.

 

I could see that he is equally holding back. He is trying to retain that soft smile but I saw his eyes, b with tears.

 

Without any hesitation, I pulled him close for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him. I felt his tears on my shoulder and it didn’t matter.

 

“Sorry.”

 

He muttered and while I thought, it would be the most difficult thing to say, I heard myself saying,

 

“Sorry... Sorry, Junho. Sorry.”

 

Forgiveness of oneself.  I need it. We both need it.

 

It hurts that we had to part ways. Strangely it was.

 

He is letting go and my scheme has to end.

 

So where do we go from here?

 

No one knows.

 

 

=================

 

 

No more messages. No more miscalls.

 

That was the last time I saw Junho.

 

Donghae took over my unit for I felt it would be unfair if I resumed living there. A mere exchange of apologies ended my goal.

 

It was hard to let go of a plan that I believed would satisfy my yearning.

 

I want to mend my broken heart by hurting him. But I was terribly wrong.

 

A simple apology satisfied it instead. Because sometimes, only a sincere apology from the person who hurt you is the only remedy for the wounded person to heal & to forgive.

 

A sorry that is for real…

 

A sorry that is felt by both parties…

 

It would be nice to think that yes, you got your revenged, that you are much fulfilled & happy that you can finally see him suffer but vengeance won’t do you any good. It will never calm your mind nor rest your heart.

 

It will be a game that you will never win… you are poised to lose.

 

Gradually, I am finding myself. I reconnected with Yuri and Nickhun. I started working part-time back in my Dad’s office. I am being the daughter, sister and friend that I was because that is the real me… I needed to be that “me" again.

 

When they said that pain changes you… it really does but change doesn’t have to be worse.

 

Pain should make you better… stronger.

 

Pain should make you think forward not the other way around.

 

Pain should change you in a way that you never have to change your heart.

 

 “Ehem, you might drown them you know.”

 

I turned around and saw my brother.

 

“I’m just watering the plants Oppa. Don’t be so ridiculous”

 

“But why are you watering them anyways, you’re not even used to do those stuff!”

 

“But there’s no harm in trying Oppa. And btw, why are you here? You don’t have any dates today”

 

“Nah! I’ll pass today. Oh btw, Hyoyeon-ah.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Are you happy?”

 

“Woah, what’s with the random question all of a sudden?”

 

“Nothing! Why, Am I not allowed to ask my younger sister if she’s happy?”

 

I motioned for him to follow me in the porch.

 

“Here’s the juice, drink it, to get you back to your senses, haha!”

 

I then saw a young couple… walking hand in hand. They were in their mid 20’s, looking so happy and in love.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want it anymore?”

 

“Huh? I don’t want what Oppa?”

 

“You had it really rough Hyo… but you know, I would still want to see you like that.”

 

I laughed, “I don’t think it’s for me.”

 

“I like him for you.”

 

I knew that he was referring to Junho but…

 

“Oppa…”

 

“It’s just a waste coz I know that he truly loves you, Hyo. I felt his sincerity while you are still recovering, when he went there to see you.”

 

“Wait? See me? Where?”

 

“In Boston. He didn’t told you that?”

 

“Huh? Do you think I will be this shocked if he did?”

 

“I thought the both of you talked already?”

 

“Yes but he didn’t said anything about that!”

 

I stood up hurriedly. I need to talk to him.

 

“Wait, Hyo! Where are you going?”

 

“To Junho, where else!”

 

I went inside and grabbed the car keys.

 

He should have told me.

 

I was driving and I had to admit that after our last day together, I am missing him.

 

When we said our apologies and I had to let go of him, I knew that I made a mistake. But he had his wishes, he wanted it to be our last.

 

I parked my car and entered the building.

 

I don’t know if it would change anything but I need to ask why he left that detail out.

 

I was already inside the elevator and reached the fifteenth floor.

 

I knew that he wanted an end but I need to know.

 

I was already in his front door. My hand was already poised to knock,

 

“Hyo?”

 

“Donghae, let’s just talk later, I need to see Junho now.”

 

“But he’s not there.”

 

“Huh? So when did you two become close? But wait, do you know where he went?”

 

“He just left silly. By the way, why are you looking for him anyways? I thought you guys talked already.”

 

“Where is he going?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I said where is he going?”

 

“I don’t know. It’s been 15 minutes since he left, do you want to look for h------.”

 

I didn't let him finished & just ran and hurriedly pushed the button, I went inside the elevator again and reached the basement.

 

I didn’t know if he had the same car but when I saw a moving black SUV, I knew it was him driving.

 

I went back up, ran and almost tripped until I reached my car.

 

Shoot. Where is he heading?

 

I spotted him right away but there were about three to four cars separating us.

 

My car was going pedal to the metal. Honking sounds reverberated.

 

I drove and drove….

 

Beating the red light…

 

De javu… This can’t be happening…

 

Didn’t notice the other car approaching…

 

One strong stir and I avoided it.

 

I was on the side of the road.

 

I closed my eyes, hoping not to feel pain… hoping not to see anything bloodied.

 

Someone was knocking at my window.

 

“Hyoyeon!! Hyoyeon!!!”

 

As soon as I saw him, I opened the door and clung to him sobbing.

 

“What are you doing Hyo?! Are trying to get yourself killed? Donghae was calling me and he said that you’re looking for me.”

 

I was in tears and I was looking at him, he sounded worried.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? You were there… you were there but you didn’t tell me. You should have told me?”

 

“What?” this time, he pulled back, his hands on his waist now, looking confused and yeah, a bit mad.

 

“You should’ve told that you were there. In the hospital.”

 

“C’mon, is it all because of that, why you’re acting like this? You’re almost got hit you know that? Okay, would it change anything if I told you that? Will it take away your hatred for me? Is it going to change everything?”

 

“I don’t know… I really don’t know but if you have told me… last time… it---”

 

“Hyo, I really don’t understand you. I really don’t get what you're trying to say.”

 

He was shaking his head in disbelief that I had no choice.

 

“Okay. You want to understand? Maybe, this would.”

 

I closed the gap between us and kissed him. I had no plans of thinking this time.

 

I had no plans of knowing if people could see.

 

I wanted him. I loved him. I knew that from that very moment when he asked for his last chance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***************

 

This is it guys!!!

I really enjoyed doing this fic with you guys but unfortunately, it already comes to an end T.T

Thanks for supporting Neighbors 2!^^

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