Qù . . .
BastardThe crowd that had formed while waiting for the ambulance was suffocating and Yi Fan didn’t truly feel helpless until the paramedic asked him what Mei Lin’s blood type is.
“O negative,” Victor says, though his calm voice is deceiving of his currently scrambled state of mind.
Yi Fan hears them mutter something along the lines of, “Of all the times…”
“What?” Yi Fan demands. “What do you mean?”
The paramedics stop Yi Fan from following Victor into the back of the ambulance. “I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t ride—”
“I’m not leaving her!” Yi Fan shouts, nearly hysterical from shock.
“That’s her boyfriend,” Victor says, “Please.”
“What kind of boyfriend doesn’t know his own girlfriend’s blood type?” the paramedic mumbles as they drive off. “Then who the hell are you?”
“… An old friend.”
“We need to inform her family,” one of them says.
“No!” both Victor and Yi Fan say.
“They’re not in the country,” Victor says. “None of them are.”
“Keep applying pressure!”
“Good thing we’re not too far from the hospital.”
“Why aren’t you giving her a blood transfusion?” Yi Fan asks, seeing how Mei Lin is still bleeding through his fingers.
“She’s not stable enough for that.”
“We don’t have any O negative blood on hand. There was a major car crash on the highway just five kilometers from here, the hospital’s very backed up right now.”
“Do you know anyone with O negative blood that’s willing to donate?”
If only I was negative instead of positive. The moment that they reach the hospital, Mei Lin is rushed into the emergency room and Yi Fan calls Lu Han. “I need you to get back to the office right now and pull up the records of everyone that’s still on scene. I need someone willing to give Mei Lin a blood transfusion.”
“What blood type am I looking for?” Lu Han asks.
“O negative,” Yi Fan says.
“Which hospital? I’m O negative.”
Yi Fan gives him directions and Lu Han grabs a cab. The moment he arrives, Lu Han is whisked away to get his blood tested, cleared, and then taken. Meanwhile, Yi Fan is left pacing in the waiting room, making the nurses concerned with the amount of blood is staining his suit. The red is concerning Yi Fan as well, so much so that he won’t stop circling the chairs like a mindless walking vulture and that the drama playing on the flat screen is nothing but white noise.
“She’s going to be fine,” Victor tries to convince to himself. She has to be.
Yi Fan snaps out of his mindless trance and glares over at Victor who is sitting with his elbows on his knees and his folded hands to his mouth. “How would you know that? Are you a doctor?” Yi Fan asks angrily. Luckily (or rather, unluckily), Victor understands English.
Victor looks up but does nothing else to move from his stiff position. Oh, right, I don’t have a right to care about her anymore. “No, but I am her ex,” he answers coolly. “And it seems to me that even though it’s been over three and half years, I still know more about her than anyone at that Gala.” Victor lets out a sigh and rubs the back of his neck. “She’s strong. She’ll get through this.” It’s going to take more than two bullets to kill her—I hope…
“She’s not invincible,” Yi Fan says, not hearing his own voice crack.
Zi Tao walks into the waiting room dressed in casual clothing with a bag for Yi Fan. “Here. It’s going to be a long night. Go shower and change.”
Yi Fan sees the bag and snaps, “You! Where the hell were you?!”
Zi Tao winces, knowing full well that this was his fault, but tosses Yi Fan Mei Lin’s car keys. “Sehun,” Zi Tao says in a low voice. “He dropped them. I chased them as far as I could.”
“… They were aiming for me,” Yi Fan says slowly as the realization washes over him. It’s all my fault.
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Victor asks, slightly annoyed.
Yi Fan leaves to shower and change like Zi Tao had suggested and Zi Tao leans himself against the wall, having the sudden urge to smoke a cigarette. “Those things will kill you,” he hears Mei Lin’s voice say to him in his head. Silly girl, you’re the one who nearly got killed. “Do you know where Lau is?” He’s the closet thing to family that she’s got. He has a right to know.
“You mean Henry?” Victor asks, only half listening. He unconsciously shakes his hair loose. “Not really. He just kind of… left.”
I guess I’ll have to try and get a hold of Amber then.
“If only Gale was here right now,” Victor sighs. “At least someone who knows her a bit more currently than I do.”
Zi Tao is about to say something but he holds his tongue. I’ve been living with her for all these months and I still don’t know very much about her. I don’t even know how she got those scars on her leg. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” Victor says, too tired to object.
“How well did you know Miss Chan?”
Victor laughs to himself. “I don’t think that really matters. She’s changed. I mean, when I saw her again, she was dating the one person she would never talk about. And not too long ago, she broke up with him for some unknown reason.” Victor sighs again while rubbing his eyes. “Well, I guess only her choices have surprised me. She’s still the same old Mei that I fell in love with.”
“Do you still love her?” Zi Tao asks. If not, how did you get over it?
“I would be lying with you if I told you that I didn’t miss what we had. I don’t know how private she kept her past but we had plans. We were going to get married. Hell, I even got to meet her parents and even they approved.” Victor laughs at the nostalgia that he’s feeling now. “I miss doing dishes together, cooking together, just sitting there and doing nothing together. I want to move on but I guess I just haven’t found someone as imperfectly perfect as her yet.” I guess I deserve it.
His hopeless eyes wander to the double doors as he stares anxiously. “Are you worried?”
“Aren’t you? Isn’t that why you’re here? It’s not that I don’t believe that she can’t make it through this—because she will. I just hope there aren’t any complications. I’ll be happy if she lives, but if she can’t walk or—”
“What do you mean?” Zi Tao asks, feeling terrified now.
“The gunshot to her leg, it’s the same leg as those snake bites,” Victor says. “She’s not going to be able to hide a limp no matter how kind she is.”
Yi Fan walks in just as a nurse comes out to inform them that, “Miss Chen Mei Lin has now slipped into a coma. Who here is Mister Liu?”
Coma? Yi Fan’s blood runs cold.
“Why do you ask?” Victor asks, being the only one stable enough to speak.
“It’s who she has as her emergency contact.”
“He’s out of the country,” Victor says. “But I can give you an international number that you can use.” I think this qualifies as an emergency.
On the other side of the world, somewhere in Miami, Florida, Henry gets a devastating phone call. “Who was that?” Gale asks as she takes another sip from her vanilla macchiato.
Henry puts his phone down slowly and takes his time to make eye contact. “Mei’s been shot…” He could hardly believe the words that left his mouth.
They quickly left their café drinks unfinished and went off to apply for new Chinese visas.
As the sun rises, Lu Han sits down in the waiting room holding his blazer in his hand with his sleeves rolled up. Bandages can be seen on both of them and Lu Han himself is paler than usual as a result. “I gave as much as they would let me. Is it true that she slipped into a coma?”
The three men could only nod. “Between the blood loss and trauma, it’s a wonder that it took her that long to go into a coma,” Victor says matter-of-factly.
“Excuse me, was that suppose to make us feel better?” Lu Han demands.
Zi Tao walks over to the vending machine and gets Lu Han a granola bar. “Your blood sugar is low, don’t bite off his head.”
“Since when were you such a mediator?” Lu Han asks. “Did she rub off on you? Living with someone will do that to ya, I guess.”
“Living with her? You were living with her? Why?” Victor demands.
“That’s none of your business,” Yi Fan says, suddenly defensive. I don’t need someone else to tell me that it’s my fault.
“She wouldn’t want us fighting, especially about her.” Zi Tao then sees Zhou Mi from the corner of his eye and decides that it’s best not to put more stress on his friend so he excuses himself. “Everyone’s on edge, this better be good.”
“If you think it’s bad in here, you should see the company’s stock and the media that’s outside the hospital and the GIBI building.” Zhou Mi points out the glass window and Zi Tao can see the mass of cameras and people. “I know where they are; I’ve already informed the police. They found the gun but… it has your fingerprints on it. And from the looks of the security footage, you look like the prime suspect. I just thought I would give you a head’s up.”
“Thanks, keep digging.” Zi Tao left with more questions than answers. Were they trying to kill Mei and Kris and then going to pin it on me? How did my fingerprints get on that gun? There’s no way that it’s one of the old guns, they wouldn’t have been able to get that past customs. Did we make too big of a deal about protecting Mei? Is that how they knew she was important to us? Would it have been better to act like we didn’t care? Would she have been safer that way? She didn’t do anything to deserve this. When will my bad choices stop haunting me?
“She wouldn’t want you beating yourself up over this either,” Yi Fan says, patting his friend’s shoulder.
“Speak for yourself,” Zi Tao scoffs. “Shouldn’t you be handling the press right about now? You are the Head of Public Relations, aren’t you? What are they going to think when they find out that you can’t function without your secretary?”
They can think whatever they want. But Yi Fan instead sighs and heads for the elevators. She wouldn’t break down like this if it were the other way around. He fixes his blazer (and his composure) as he gets off the elevator. Time to be the man I should’ve been a long time ago.
While Yi Fan deals with the piranhas the press, Zi Tao slips away to investigate on his own. It’s me they’re after. Why the are they dragging everyone that I care about through the dirt? If they want to play dirty, I’m going to remind them why I was recruited in the first place. Zi Tao makes a stop at Mei Lin’s apartment to pack up everything that was his and changes into something a bit more loose and comfortable. As he is finishing packing, he catches sight of a picture frame that he hadn’t noticed before. It was one of Yi Fan and himself playing basketball. I wonder when she took this. He sets the frame back down. “I’m sorry, Mei,” he finds himself saying. “But you can scold me for my stupidity in another life.” A pallor etched from stone now replaces a somewhat morbid smile. You’re not getting away with hurting the ones that I love.
Zi Tao lights a cigarette out of habit as he waits in the parking lot across the street from where a new building was being erected. It was almost quitting time and he checks his phone one more time to make sure that this was the place that Zhou Mi had given him. “Leaving so soon?” he asks once he spots Kai heading for the bus stop. “Care for a cigarette?”
Kai simply smirks, “I quit years ago.” He takes about three steps towards Zi Tao and the scrap car that he’s leaning on. “Did you come here to kill me?”
Yes. “I came here to find out what the it was that you wanted.” The smile was fake. Even Kai knew that.
“We want what we had before but seeing how we can’t exactly have that anymore… we settled for the next best thing.” Kai was smart enough not to say anything that would allude to his guilty crime, in case he was being recorded. “Think of it as us being even now—well, almost.”
Kai could feel Zi Tao’s glare through the dark sunglasses that he was wearing. “Almost?”
“Come by the house tonight and find out,” Kai smiles. “I’m sure your little spy friend already told you where it is.” Zi Tao’s heartbeat quickens at the possibility that Zhou Mi had been captured but showed no signs of it to Kai. “Don’t worry,” Kai smirks, “he’ll be fine.”
Zi Tao takes that as: show up tonight or you never see him again. “Eight o’clock tonight, then?”
Kai knows that he’s won, “It’s a date.”
So while Yi Fan is showing surprisingly amazing statesmanship, Zi Tao suits up and goes into what appears to be a normal building. The K-gang are kind and generous enough to leave Zi Tao with just enough strength to drag himself back outside and call a cab.
“What the hell happened to you?!” is Lu Han’s reaction when he gets wind of the latest development.
“Here,” Zi Tao hands him his cellphone. “Give this to the detectives.” Zi Tao coughs and the nurse scolds him for straining himself.
Lu Han curses under his breath and does as Zi Tao suggests. I feel like I’m everyone’s lap dog lately. First blood and now I’m running errands for the errand boy. “What kind of moron goes into a house of criminals unarmed?!”
Don’t mind Lu Han, his blood sugar is just low again. Zi Tao is also not exactly in the right state of mind, having suffered holes of trauma and more broken bones than whole ones. “Heh,” he chuckles, his eyes more distant than they should be, “Love makes you do crazy things.”
That takes Lu Han off guard, “What?” Love? Who are you in love with? Yi Fan? Mei Lin?
“Come on, I would’ve thought that out of all people, you would know.” He makes brief eye contact with Lu Han before looking at the ceiling again. “Even against your parents wishes, you were going to marry her anyways because you love her—even though you know you were going to be disowned.”
Lu Han scoffs, “I’m a grown man; I can do what I want.”
Zi Tao laughs to himself until he coughs. After settling down from his spasm, his mind drifts and he starts talking to himself. “It’s all my fault. None of this would’ve happened if I—now she’s… Even after all that she did for me.” Zi Tao felt like crying but there aren’t enough fluids in his body to allow him to do that.
Slightly irritated, Lu Han asks, “What on Earth are you rambling about?” Someone needs to get this boy some orange juice and crackers.
“She knew,” Zi Tao says, sort of absent-mindedly. “She knew about all the terrible things that I did before I met duì zhǎng and what kind of person I use to be. Even after I told her, she didn’t judge me, she didn’t treat me any differently. Duì zhǎng helped me and gave me a new start—a second chance—” how lucky I was to get two “—but that’s only because he saw me as a friend—his first real friend. But Mei…” Zi Tao is smiling like a fool now at the memories, “She… I don’t even know what she did, all I know is that I grew to love her, and that the world needs more people like her.” I had forgotten what being loved felt like—even if you didn’t really love me back, it still felt… nice.
Zi Tao’s heart monitor starts to slow but Lu Han doesn’t pick up on it; he’s too deep in his own thoughts. Sounds like what Gale did to me. How—when did it even start? I guess it doesn’t matter.
“I’ll never be with her—she doesn’t feel the same way about me—but that’s alright—as long as she’s happy—that’s all that matters—”
Lu Han starts to panic as he hears how Zi Tao’s breathing gets more and more shallow. “Nurse!!!”
“You,” Zi Tao breathes, “You still have a chance—she loves—don’t lose—you’ll regret—” Nurses and medical personnel file into the room and shove Lu Han out of the way, causing him to barely hear Zi Tao say, “Qù…” before flat lining. Mei, please don’t waste your tears on me; I deserve this. Please, duì zhǎng, Mei, live—be happy. Thank you—I’m so grateful to have met—
Lu Han runs out of the ICU in search of Yi Fan. They said he was stable. They even let me see him? Why? Was it just so he could give me some life lecture? Goddamn it!
Yi Fan is busy keeping the company image from crumbling, Mei Lin is in a coma, and Victor is also doing damage control—pretty much everyone is doing damage control as they’re trying keep the company running without two Department Heads—leaving only Lu Han in the hospital and making him the only one for Zi Tao to pass his final thoughts to, in hopes that they’ll reach Mei Lin, because he knows that it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to tell her himself.
Sadly, Lu Han never gets around to telling Mei Lin and Zi Tao never gets the chance to tell anyone else of his final thoughts and words because of two things. One: Zi Tao unfortunately dies a few days after falling into a deep coma, and two: Henry and Gale arrive in Guangzhou two weeks after that.
“Where is she?!” Gale demands, forgetting that she needs to use Cantonese.
Yi Fan drops the cup of coffee that was in his hand, not realizing that it had spilled all over his Italian leather shoes and fine dress pants. “Using English isn’t going to get the nurses to tell us any faster,” Henry says. Yi Fan pales.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” Gale growls. “I was talking to Mister Clumsy Pretty Boy over there.” The sneer on her pallor could kill, and it’s about to. “What the is wrong with you?” she asks, sounding calm. “I’m not even gone for half the year AND YOU GET HER SHOT?!” A slap is added for emphasis.
Yi Fan is too shocked, guilt-ridden and ashamed to have had the slap even register. All his knows is that his field of vision just got shifted. He sees Henry as his head is forced to pivot. “That’s enough, Estella,” Henry says. Though he’s trying to calm Gale, he, too, is seething.
“What the did you get her into, huh?” Gale grabs Yi Fan by the collar and shakes him violently. “I was joking when I said that being your secretary was ‘a career death sentence,’ BUT I GUESS I WAS RIGHT, WASN’T I?!!? I SWEAR TO GOD, WU YI FAN, THAT IF SHE DOES BECAUSE OF YOU, I WILL PERSONALLY PROVE TO YOU THAT NOT ONLY IS THERE A GOD, BUT ALSO A DEVIL—AND YOU WILL LEARN VERY QUICKLY, THAT I AM BOTH.” Gale tosses Yi Fan, releasing him from her grip while simultaneously slamming him against the wall. “You better pray that she’s going to be alright.”
Just as Yi Fan is picking himself up from the ground, Henry lands a strong right arm right on Yi Fan’s jaw, almost dislocating it. From the quarrels that they use to have in boarding school, Yi Fan knows that he was holding back. In fact, Henry is still shaking with rage as he tries to restrain himself from striking Yi Fan again. As Yi Fan nurses his jaw, Henry is breathing heavily through his nose in attempt to calm himself. I told you to take care of her. “What,” Henry manages to ask, “do you have to say for yourselves?”
Yi Fan keeps his eyes to the ground, “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “Tao’s dead.”
Anger leaves Henry for the time being. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“He confronted the people responsible and pretty much got himself killed from getting the evidence—” Yi Fan couldn’t finish his sentence. “I’ve already lost one friend, Lau, and I’m pretty damn close to losing another. If you want to punch me, then fine, go for it. We’re already in a hospital and besides, I can’t feel anything anymore anyways.”
Pity is slowly replacing the cracks that anger had left behind. Henry joins Yi Fan’s side on the ground after tossing him some napkins. “Well,” he says casually. I guess you don’t see me as a friend—and who can blame you? “You won’t have to worry about your friends if Mei dies.” Yi Fan looks at him in confusion. “Because I’ll kill you if she does. That way, you’ll get to see both of them on the other side.”
Yi Fan chuckles to himself grimly as he wipes the now cold coffee from his clothes and floor, “How kind of you.”
Meanwhile, Gale is stomping down the hall, her boots could clearly be heard by Mei Lin in spite of her coma. As she’s about to turn into the room in which they had Mei Lin hooked up to about three different machines, someone—someone she did not want to see—comes around the corner, having just visited the vending machine that he now often frequents. She stops dead in her tracks and the young man can’t help but mimic her actions once they make eye contact.
With her nose in the air, she pivots on the heels of her feet and walks into Mei Lin’s room, ignoring the fact that he’s now also in the room. “What the are you doing here?” Who the hell told you that I was here? I landed less than three hours ago.
Lu Han cringes at the harsh and icy words. He rolls down his sleeves but the bandaged and bruised arms don’t go unnoticed. Gale’s sharp eyes tell him that he’s been caught. “I’ve been cleared to donate more blood for her. They said it was safer to transfuse with the same donor.” Visitors help keep her heart rate up. The dramatic loss of blood weakened her heart; talking helps.
For a moment, Gale feels sympathy. How many times has that arm been poked for it to look like that? Only a moment though, “Donating blood doesn’t require you to be in here.”
Lu Han can see right away that Gale looks no different from the day that he had met her. He wanted to ask about his child but thought it best not to push his luck with what little she’s been saying to him.
Gale ignores his presence and at Mei Lin’s hair, which now feels brittle and thin. “He’s staying at a hotel,” Gale says, not liking how uncomfortable he is making her just by being three meters away. Just leave goddamn it.
Lu Han’s ears perked up, his jaw drops, even his eyes widen, “H-he?”
“Your parents will be happy to hear that it’s a boy,” the dry sarcasm is plastered thick onto every word as she tends to Mei Lin gently. It’s like you’re already dead… “His name is Alistair.” She makes a point by looking him dead in the eyes, “Alistair Bartholomew Estella-Lu.” She turns back around in her seat, having already seen enough of his surprised reaction. Please wake up, Mei…
Mei Lin’s heart monitor quickens to a more normal rate at the news of Gale’s newborn son, and his name. Lu Han is speechless at the fact that his surname was even included. Does this mean you’ll give me a chance to be a part of his life—to be a part of your life?
“If you want him to have a Chinese name, you’re gonna have to come up with that yourself. I probably know how to read and write half of what I used to.” Why am I still talking to him?
Lu Han pushes his weight against the wall and drops into the closest chair. There are so many things that he wanted to ask her: Where were you this whole time? How come I couldn’t find you? When was he born? How old is he now? “Can I see him?” it comes out as a whisper.
Irate, Gale whips around and has more than half a mind to slap Lu Han even though her hands are still stinging from what she did to Yi Fan. “Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. The only reason that I’m back is because of her. I didn’t make my presence known to the world again because of Alistair, nor did I do so because of you. So why don’t you just go home because this isn’t about you—this isn’t about us—because as far as I’m concerned right now, there is no 'us.' That died the moment you chose to not make a decision. We are doing perfectly fine without you—” Lu Han couldn’t tell if Gale was referring to herself and Mei Lin or herself and their—her child. “—so get out.”
Mei Lin’s heart monitor spikes in speed as if to signal her distress from the sudden dustup. Gale is still fuming and Lu Han is too heartbroken to notice. Upon hearing all the shouting, Henry and Yi Fan make it into Mei Lin’s room just in time to see that Mei Lin’s about to have a heart attack. Medical staff clears the room and prevent any more visitors for the rest of the week for the sake of Mei Lin’s stability.
“I said for you all to just talk to her! Not argue in front of her!” the doctor scolds. “Don’t say anything too alarming; her heart’s in bad shape as it is.”
The doctor leaves the four with an awkward tension in the air as they walk to cafeteria to relax. Yi Fan, having been all too familiar with the hospital and its amenities, gets everyone something decent to eat and warm to drink. “She might be in a coma, but it’s safe to assume that she can still understand us. Don’t mention Tao’s death around her,” Yi Fan says in a low voice as he takes another mouthful of rice.
Gale chokes on her tea, “Tao’s dead?!”
“What?” Yi Fan asks, sounding very tired, “No wise-crack jokes about how I’m driving myself now?”
Henry elbows Yi Fan but he only responds with a slow shift of his eyes. There’s a stiff silence as the four eat, no one actually feeling hungry. If anything, the food simply made them all nauseous not from its quality, but rather from the situation itself. “Is that what she meant?” Henry asks. “When she essentially pushed me out the front door.” He takes a long look at Yi Fan who looks as if he should be in a hospital bed as well. These aren’t exactly the terms I wanted to see you again with. “I knew she really wasn’t cheating on me—I knew she was lying—”
“Then why did you leave?” Unbeknownst to the four, Victor had been sitting not too far from them and has now chosen to speak up.
Gale, being the only one present that knew the truth of what Victor did, heard the pain in his voice. “Mei cheated on you? With who?!”
“Tao,” Lu Han says casually. “It makes sense, they were living together.”
“It was only to protect her,” Yi Fan says in his late friend’s defense.
“And look where that got her,” Gale hissed.
“Did it ever occur to you that by putting protection on her like that made her a target?” Henry feels irritated now too. “You might as well have shouted and announced to the world that she was important to you and—”
“Is,” Yi Fan corrects him. “Don’t talk about her like she’s already dead.”
“So…” Lu Han says softly to himself, still in a daze, “she pushed Liu away to protect him?”
Victor has to grip the table at the striking parallels, but Gale is the one who speaks, “You really ought to learn from her.” Gale wipes and tosses her used napkin on the empty tray. “You should’ve just fired her, but instead you were cocky, thinking you could take care of the situation without making any sacrifices. Now look what happened.”
“Shut up, Gale.” The guilt is about to bury Yi Fan into a deep lull of depression. Luckily, Gale was already too cooled down to snap again. “I might be alive and not physically hurt, but—” Yi Fan feels like choking. “I would think that you—all of you would understand—”
“The pain?” Victor asks, finally finding his voice again.
The soft hum of conversation whispers in their ears but they’re all silent to the fact—to the one thing that they have in common at the moment, from one reason or another.
“Kevin,” Henry says flatly. “Do you love her?”
In his silence, they found their answer.
Translations/Author's Notes:
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O negative = the universal donor but can only accept O negative, hence why a hospital would be short if there was a mass need of blood. It is a very rare (the rarest in Asian demographics) blood type. EXO profiles state that both Luhan and Kris are blood type O but they never specify if they are positive or negative -exercising author's creative freedom here-
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[Mainland] Chinese visas usually take about two to three weeks to process, sometimes even a whole month—assuming you don't pay the expediting fee.
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"Qù…" (去...) = Go... please note that there's no "ba" (吧) or "yīxià" (一下) particle, making it a very emphatic and almost rude command (rather than a request).
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"'a career death sentence'" = see Chapter 3, Paragraph 5** (What do you . . . ?)
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"...I SWEAR TO GOD..." = In spite of her outburst, Gale is still indeed a aitheist—she's just very upset ^^;
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"These aren’t exactly the terms I wanted to see you again with." = see Chapter 28** (. . . Are Doomed to Repeat It.)
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