The Scarlet Letter
Bastard“We have another problem,” Mei Lin says regretfully.
“What?” Henry asks with irritation biting at his head. He doesn’t intend for it to sound harsh and unwelcoming towards Mei Lin but that’s how it sounds; though no one could blame him now that his parents are coming into town in light of recent news.
“My parents…” Mei Lin can’t bring herself to say the rest. Those two words alone are enough for further worry and headache. She watches her shoes, unable to bring herself to see the deepening look of horror on Henry’s face.
“What about them?” Henry asks even though he’s not sure if he wants to know.
“They’re demanding that I come home,” Mei Lin says, barely audible. He always yells at the mention of the Lau’s…
“No.” Henry grabs Mei Lin by the shoulders and clings to her, knocking the wind out of her. “You’re not leaving again.”
“I never said I’m going to listen to them,” Mei Lin says, choking for air. “Though, don’t be surprised if they drop by for a visit.”
“I think I will still be regardless,” Henry sighs, loosening his grip for a bit but still unwilling to physically let Mei Lin go. “That bastard,” Henry curses.
Mei Lin hears the string of unflattering comments thanks to their proximity. “Hin Wah,” Mei Lin says. “I’m sorry.”
Henry pulls back and his brow pulls tight with misunderstanding. “For what?”
“I should’ve been more careful,” Mei Lin sighs. “I’m usually better about keeping secrets.”
“I don’t want this to be a secret,” Henry says. Even though we don’t have much of a choice now.
“We need to get back to work,” Mei Lin says after a glance at her watch. “Your parents will be here soon.”
Henry groans as Mei Lin walks out of his hold and his office. Mei Lin was only supposed to drop off a file but she thought that Henry should know about the lovely conversation she had with her father the night before. One has to give him credit where credit is due. He did wake up rather early just so he would be able to talk to her before she turned in for the night. Unfortunately, that was the only phone call he had ever bothered to make to her in her absence, ever.
Mei Lin returns to her office and ignores the fact that Yi Fan is sitting in her chair. She instead goes straight for the filing cabinets and then right back out for an early lunch before Yi Fan could even get a single word. Gale catches her on her way to the elevators and decides to join her friend. “You’re wearing the watch,” Gale says.
“I’ve been wearing it since his birthday,” Mei Lin says casually.
“Does it burn?” Gale teases.
“It’s a silver wristwatch, not a scarlet letter,” Mei Lin says, rolling her eyes. “I should give you a rose.”
“Why? Something happen?” Gale asks.
“Folks called,” Mei Lin says, twisting involuntarily.
Gale in her breath through her teeth and presses her lips into a thin line. Mei Lin sighs and rubs her head. “That bad huh?”
“I swear he didn’t need a phone for me to hear him.” Mei Lin touches her ears at the recollection of their argument.
“What are you going to do about it?” Gale asks as they reach the ground floor.
“Nothing,” Mei Lin says. “They expect me to break up with him and come back home but I sure as hell am not going to quit.”
They pass the Resource Department and Mei Lin notes the spark in Gale’s eyes. “What if they decide to come here to bring you back?”
“They’re not going to waste almost twenty five hundred dollars just to drag me back home when they expect me to do exactly what they tell me like I always do,” Mei Lin scoffs. “So, what happened last Saturday?”
Gale smiles and is grateful for the subject change. “Nothing,” Gale says, still smiling to the point where it shines in her eyes. “We danced.”
“It was a slow dance,” Mei Lin points out. “You don’t expect me to believe that that’s all that happened.”
“We talked,” Gale says, still holding back.
“About?” Mei Lin encourages. Normally, Mei Lin would not press for details but it’s rather obvious that Gale wants to drag this out as much as she can. Mei Lin switches to Cantonese to order.
“He said sweet things and I sort of returned the favor,” Gale says vaguely. Almost forgot how it felt to be called beautiful. “We just talked about everything…what we enjoy doing when we’re not working, embarrassing stories, our past up until then; even our friends and family.”
“M-hm,” Mei Lin hums as they sit down with their trays of food.
“He offered to take me home so we shared a taxi,” Gale says. The sweetheart even held my hand in case I was tipsy. “He walked me to my apartment door and…”
“And?” Mei Lin waits.
“He had my hand and instead of letting go, he just stared at me for the longest time—” Not long enough. “And the shy thing slowly leans in in parts until—”
“Aw,” Mei Lin says, already knowing what Lu Han had done. “How sweet.”
“Poor thing looked down at his feet right after as if he might have done something wrong and he told me goodnight in the most awkward English I’ve ever heard,” Gale covers her face in secondhand-embarrassment. “His accent was so thick though. Oh, the poor cutie.”
“I wonder how long it’s going to take him to get the nerve to actually kiss you,” Mei Lin teases.
Gale only groans in agreement. “I think he only got the courage to ask me to dance because of the champagne to be honest, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“Baby steps,” Mei Lin says, taking a sip of her water.
“But he’s four years older than me; why is he the baby?” Gale whines. “How are you and Henry?”
“Yi Fan is being an ,” Mei Lin mumbles. “I still have a wedding to go to in a few days so he’s going to have to it up.”
“I asked about Henry,” Gale says, amused by how much Mei Lin’s boss gets under her skin. “Almost three months now.”
“Really?” Mei Lin asks. “I haven’t been keeping track.” It’s not important.
“I’m sure he has,” Gale says. “How come you never talk about him? I mean back in high school. I remember you mentioning a childhood friend but you hardly ever said his name.”
“The Lau’s are taboo to the Chan’s and vice versa. Dad’s envy grew a bit too big and Henry’s dad didn’t exactly help with it. Though any attempt probably came off as pity,” Mei Lin sighs. “It’s hard to get out of a certain mindset once you’ve convinced yourself that it’s the truth.”
“You would know,” Gale comments. Mei Lin takes no offense and simply nods. “So how are the parentals taking this?”
“Henry’s parents are coming to the office. They insisted on coming here, probably so that they might run into me, rather than meeting at a restaurant,” Mei Lin sighs. “And I’m not sure how my folks found out but they did, and as you already know, dad did not take that well.”
“How did Henry’s—”
“Yi Fan,” Mei Lin sighs.
“And you haven’t quit because…?”
Mei Lin sighs again, “Because I know why he did it.”
“Understanding him doesn’t make it right,” Gale points out.
“True, but if I’m going to quit, it’s going to be for a professional reason.” Mei Lin finishes and wipes . “I was hoping that nothing personal would ever bleed into my work but—”
“The watch looks nice,” Gale says.
“Yeah,” Mei Lin agrees.
“So long as it’s not a ring,” Gale snickers. Mei Lin laughs to herself but says nothing. “Whoa, he didn’t—”
“Since when did Hester and Arthur ever get married?” Mei Lin asks.
“But they had Pearl and—”
“We didn’t do anything,” Mei Lin says. “It was a walk in the forest, not a year prior to the scaffold.”
“You still got farther than I did,” Gale says.
“We’ve been together for three months, Gale,” Mei Lin points out. “He got the nerve to get close enough to you to dance and give you a kiss goodnight a few days ago. Give it some time.”
“I’ve been here for almost two years, Mei!” Gale quietly exclaims.
“And I grew up with that boy,” Mei Lin argues back. “Don’t you compare.”
“You’re right, I can’t compare. At least I don’t have a ty boss who’s out to ruin my relationship,” Gale says, throwing her eyes at Mei Lin.
“You’re welcome,” Mei Lin teases in response.
Their conversation is interrupted by the sudden onset of silence. The two ladies turn their attention to the main doors of the cafeteria and see an older couple walk through along with Henry. Henry looks at Mei Lin for a moment but keeps his eyes forward in fear that his parents will take notice. Henry is playing this little game with his parents as he still refuses to allow confrontation between the two parties, especially here at the office, so he makes no move to make Mei Lin stand out more than she might. The couple takes about ten steps into the cafeteria and makes eye contact with every young lady in the room in hopes of finding some hint that they’re guilty of stealing their precious son’s heart. None of the women in the room remind the couple of the little girl they had once known, so the scan is fruitless. So instead, they head towards the queue. The tension immediately washes away from the room.
Gale and Mei Lin wraps up lunch and make their way to leave. “They seem friendly,” Gale mumbles once through the cafeteria doors.
Mei Lin says nothing on the comment because she can’t confirm or deny it anymore; there’s not enough evidence. “How’s the new scanner coming?” Mei Lin asks, changing the subject.
“We have to tweak your design a bit, but it’s coming along,” Gale says. “How’s the ALS treatment?”
“It’s slowing down progression but it hasn’t stopped it,” Mei Lin frowns.
“That’s still amazing,” Gale says, even though she knows that Mei Lin will only see the downside to the situation. “Given that this is experimental, just imagine that kind of breakthrough you could be on the verge of—”
“Every case of ALS is different,” Mei Lin says, not wanting her friend to give her false hope. “This treatment is designed specifically for her case. There’s no way to create a genetic serum and it’s a miracle that we can even perform this treatment. It’s not exactly conventional and we’re just very lucky considering the circumstances. If something goes wrong, I’ll be worse than dead.”
“But you’re trying,” Gale reassures as they get off the elevator. “So what’s the plan now?”
“If we can stop the progression, the next step would be to try and repair what was lost,” Mei Lin explains with a sigh. “I need a vacation.”
Gale stops halfway to the lab. “Did I hear that correctly? You’re actually wanting some time off?”
Mei Lin rubs her head as she had surprised herself with the remark. “Between this project and overseeing about five others, not to mention still being Yi Fan’s secretary—”
“You forgot to mention your personal life,” Gale adds.
Mei Lin makes a wave of her hand and nods before rubbing her eyes, happy that she wasn’t wearing much make up, “I need a break.”
“Well, that’s why you’re going to Junsu’s wedding,” Gale smiles. “Enjoy Seoul.”
“I’ll do my best,” Mei Lin says.
She walks into her office and starts to organize the files on her desk. Mei Lin is filling out some forms on her desktop when Henry’s family gets off a floor too soon on purpose and strides right past the lobby and its secretaries. Henry makes no attempt to stop them because a young lady at the front desk had already told them where to find Mei Lin and they already saw Mei Lin’s name on her office door. Victoria quickly phones Mei Lin, after exchanging looks with Henry, as a heads up and she gets the message just two seconds before the couple, followed by their son, walks in. Mei Lin looks up but is reluctant to set her pen down. She avoids looking at Henry who is also trying to find somewhere to plant his gaze. Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe the atmosphere.
Henry clears his throat, hoping that the break in silence would encourage someone to speak. “Ma,” Henry finally says.
“Nǐ shì Chén Měi Lín ma?” ("Are you Chen Mei Lin?") Mrs. Lau asks harshly in Mandarin.
“Duì,” ("Yes,") Mei Lin says calmly, finally setting her pen down.
Henry tenses because Mei Lin just answered an obvious question; her name is on the door and she wouldn’t be sitting in this office if she wasn’t who is stated. Mei Lin flinches internally at the even harsher stares that her response had just earned her from both of his parents. “Nǐ kě yǐ shuō yīng wén ma?” ("Can you speak English?") Mr. Lau asks. This again is a rhetorical question, seeing how it’s common knowledge that the Chan’s had moved to the States.
Mei Lin simply nods, expecting the couple to start speaking to her in the language in question, but instead, Mrs. Lau pipes up again, but this time, in Cantonese. “Do you still remember how to speak?”
“Gei3 dak1,” ("I remember,") Mei Lin responds bluntly.
The couple keeps their noses in their air in spite of not being able to find a kink in Mei Lin just yet. “How is your family?” Mr. Wu asks, not really meaning the question.
“Keoi5 dei6 hou2 a,” ("They're doing well,") Mei Lin says casually even though Henry is looking at her with concern. She gives the towering couple a look of question, hoping to cut the small talk.
“What a pretty young lady you’ve become,” Mrs. Lau comments.
“Do1 ze6,” ("Thank you,") Mei Lin says, even though she knows that it isn’t sincere. The fact that Mrs. Lau was speaking in the language she was most comfortable in tells Mei Lin that she’s spiting her own words.
“Loeng6 daan6 hai6, nei5 m4 dak1 gin4 ngo5 ge3 ji4,” ("Even though you are pretty, you are not allowed to see my son,") Mrs. Lau says bluntly. Mei Lin cringes a bit at her choice of harsh words but Henry looks to be relieved that his parents have stopped trying to beat around the bush.
“Deoi3 m4 zyu6 a,” ("Sorry,") Mei Lin says, even though she doesn’t mean it. “Ngo5 hou2 zung1 ji3 keoi5 a.” ("I really like him.")
Mr. Lau clenches his jaw at how disrespectful Mei Lin is being and even more so when Henry tries to hold back a snicker. Somehow, Mei Lin’s confession put Henry at ease, because he now knows that Mei Lin is willing to fight for this. She’s willing to make herself happy.
“Keoi3 m4 zung1 ji3 nei5,” ("He doesn't like you,") Mrs. Lau says even though she knows that it’s the farthest thing from the truth, or else she wouldn’t be here. “Ngo5 dei6 m4 zung4 ji3 nei5.” ("I don't like you.")
Mei Lin stands up at the harsh words. So, the truth finally comes out. “Nei5 dei6 m4 hei2 m4 zung4 ji3 ngo5,” ("You don't not like me,") Mei Lin says, even though it might still hold some truth. “Nei5 dei6 m4 zung4 ji3 ngo5 ge3 gaa1 ting4.” ("You don't like my family.") Mr. and Mrs. Lau stiffen as if they had just been caught. “Nei5 oi3 nei5 ge3 ji4 maa3?” ("Do you love your son?") Mei Lin asks, earning herself an appalled look from both of them. “Gam2 zau6, dim2 gaai2 nei5 m4 bei2 keoi5 hoi1 sam1 a?” ("Then, why do you not allow him to be happy?")
“Keoi5 hoi1 sam1 a?!” ("He's not happy?!") Mr. Lau is furious. “Keoi5 dim2—” ("How can he—")
“Baa1!” ("Dad!") Henry finally says, making the other three in the room look at him in silence. “Ngo5 oi3 Mei5 Lam4.” ("I love Mei Lin.") Mei Lin can feel her heart pounding a bit faster at Henry’s confession. “Ngo ji4 gaa1 hou2 hoi1 sam1 a.” ("I am now very happy.")
Henry’s parents relax a bit but are still hesitant to allow their son to be with such trash. Something about Henry’s soft eyes and relaxed smile—just the way that he appears when he speaks about Mei Lin gives his parents a comforting feeling. Mrs. Lau can’t remember the last time that her son was this genuinely happy and part of her wants to give in. “Zan1 hai6?” ("Really?") Mrs. Lau asks, wanting her son to shake his head. But instead, he smiles and nods.
“Zan1 hai6 a,” ("Really,") Mr. Lau says with diction and offense. He curses Mei Lin’s father under his breath, knowing that he somehow had something to do with this. Mr. Lau walks out of Mei Lin’s office in a fit of rage and Mrs. Lau leaves regretfully as well.
The two remaining in the office let out a simultaneous breath of relief. “That…went well,” Henry says jokingly in English.
Mei Lin plants her face in her palms after sitting down on the couch. She rubs her face and feels Henry sit down next to her before draping an arm around her shoulders. “That,” Mei Lin says, “was a wreck.” She gets up and goes behind her desk to pull out some makeup-removing wipes. She even goes through the trouble of applying some cucumber face cream on her face once it’s bare. Henry watches for a bit before Mei Lin sits down behind her desk with her head across her folded arms. He gets up and stands behind her for a moment before hesitantly placing his hands on her shoulders. “What are you—” Mei Lin is cut off by Henry’s thumbs and how they’re untangling Mei Lin’s knots. She sighs through her nose, humming in pleasure. “Hin Wah…”
“Hm?” Henry asks as his hands roam closer to Mei Lin’s neck.
Mei Lin rolls her neck at Henry’s touch, almost forgetting her question. “You’re still coming to Seoul with me, right?”
“Of course,” Henry says. “I already booked us the tickets, remember?” It was payback for not letting Henry pay for her dress, which she plans to wear again at the wedding.
Mei Lin nods. “What time does the flight leave?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Henry says. “I’ll have someone pick you up.”
“I would still like to know when to expect them,” Mei Lin says, surprising Henry with her lack of objection to a chauffeur.
“Why don’t you just spend the night tomorrow and we can leave together in the morning,” Henry suggests.
“Wedding isn’t for another three days, if we leave in two then what are we going to do—” Mei Lin realizes Henry’s plans.
“You might as well enjoy it while you’re in another country, right?” Henry asks, smiling even though he’s been caught.
“Let me guess, we don’t leave until the day after the wedding.”
Henry smiles a bit bigger and even though Mei Lin can’t see it, she knows that she’s correct in that assumption. “There’s a lot out there in the world and you’ve only seen two pages of the whole book, not even. Let me show you what you’ve been missing.”
“Is there a country you have yet to see?” Mei Lin asks.
“Many,” Henry says, not wanting to list them all. “But even the ones that I’ve seen, there’s always more to discover and experience.” So when the couple arrives in Seoul, Henry shows Mei Lin all the must-see sights. “Well?”
“I feel like a tourist,” Mei Lin admits. “And I don’t understand what everyone is saying.”
Henry laughs, “You sort of are.” He’s enjoying the fact that Mei Lin has to rely on him for everything due to the language barrier. “I’ll take you to all the hidden places that I’ve stumbled upon before we leave.”
“Okay,” Mei Lin says as she clings onto Henry’s arm a bit tighter, feeling overwhelmed by the crowd they’re traveling in. “Can we go back to the hotel now?”
“Had enough?” Henry teases.
“No, just tired,” Mei Lin says. “I don’t like flying.”
Mei Lin is no longer surprised to find that Henry had only booked one room for them both, just like how she hadn’t been surprised that his guest rooms were being renovated (something about how his parents tainted it) so that she had been forced to share a bed with him.
“If I didn’t know better, I would say that you were trying to sleep with me,” Mei Lin says casually.
“Aren’t I?” Henry says, playing with his words like he would with Mei Lin’s hair. “I miss our sleepovers.”
“Which ones?” Mei Lin asks. The ones where you had to come over because your parents were on a business trip or the ones where I would come over on my own because my parents were doing a night shift and I felt lonely?
“Both,” Henry says. “But mostly when you would come over.”
“Why is that?” Mei Lin asks, tilting her head and in doing so, giving Henry more hair to play with.
Henry smiles, “You’ll understand when you have kids. There’s just something about a child trusting you in a vulnerable state that’s just…”
“What makes you think I want kids?” Mei Lin teases. “My life is hectic enough without having to take care of a child.”
“So what’s Yi Fan to you then?” Henry jokes. Mei Lin snickers a bit and rests her head on Henry’s shoulder. “I know you want a family,” he says, “It’s your nature.”
Mei Lin frowns at the truth. “I can’t do my job and be a mother at the same time.”
“You shouldn’t have to choose,” Henry suggests.
He can feel Mei Lin shake her head. “I’m not hiring a nanny.” She sighs, “As stressful as it all is, I love my job.”
“Jobs,” Henry corrects.
“And as much as I would love to settle down, I don’t think I can give up my career just for a kid.”
“It would be your kid,” Henry says as if that makes a difference, which, it does.
“I don’t want to end up resenting my child because he or she is keeping me from what I do best,” Mei Lin sighs. “It’s not about the money,” Mei Lin reassures him, “It’s about my sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from life.” She sighs again, “Maybe some day I will find a balance among it all, but as of this moment, I don’t think I’ll do well in either if I choose to have both.” Hell, I don’t even think I’ve found a balance for my current life yet.
“I think you would be happier,” Henry says, half asleep now.
Mei Lin realizes this is the best time to ask Henry some personal questions. “Hin Wah,” she says in somewhat of a whisper. He hums in response. “Do you want to have a family?”
He hums again, “Duì…”
“Why?” Mei Lin asks, knowing that Henry doesn’t particularly like children (he finds them annoying). Mei Lin was the only exception at the time.
“Because it would make you happy…” he yawns. “You deserve to be happy.”
Henry falls asleep shortly after the last syllable but Mei Lin is left wide-awake. Something about those words strike Mei Lin in a way that makes her feel nostalgic and yet pained all at the same time. One would think that the realization that Victor had once said something similar would give the poor girl closure but it only kept her awake even longer.
Victor had once said that Mei Lin deserves to smile as well but in the end, he made her cry. Mei Lin isn’t sure if she should believe such words anymore; that she deserves anything. Whatever happens happens. So Mei Lin falls asleep thinking that Henry is a little too naïve and bright-eyed to really understand what he had just said. Mei Lin isn’t sure what she deserves, and though it is true that Victor used to make her smile, just like how Henry now makes her happy, she can’t help but wonder if it’s all going to go to Hell again. Mei Lin doesn’t want to end up hating Henry much like how she despises, Victor but the truth is that it is inevitable once such a promise is made. He just shouldn’t have said anything…
The ceremony is elegant and Mei Lin can’t remember the last time Junsu looked so happy. As happy as she was for him though, Henry could see the underlying bittersweetness in Mei Lin’s eyes. The bride is beautiful, making the floral and satin embellishments of the area appear inferior. But the ceremony isn’t what is important to either party, really; it is just a formality. The most anticipated moment would be when Junsu was going to meet Henry. Even though many had thought it wouldn’t be possible, Junsu looked even happier than he already had been during the reception when he spots Mei Lin entering on the arm of a golden-haired man.
“Annyeong,” Junsu smiles.
“Annyeong,” Henry says, even though Junsu was talking to Mei Lin.
“Kim Jun Su,” he says, holding out his hand.
“Liú Xiàn Huá,” Henry says, shaking his hand.
Mei Lin bites her lip as she tries to gage the tension between the two as they exchange some words in Korean. “You better take care of her,” Junsu says with a deceiving smile, so that Mei Lin would not suspect the threat. Henry makes a note of it, adding Junsu to the list of people that have told him to treat Mei Lin with care.
“Oppa,” Mei Lin says, interrupting their conversation and both men turn towards her in response. She giggles at their reaction, “I wish you well.” Junsu nods and the two hug.
It’s almost a shame when the night is over and it becomes time for Mei Lin to change into sleepwear. And as beautiful as Mei Lin is all dressed up and enhanced with makeup, Henry prefers it when Mei Lin is in clothes that anyone could afford and doesn’t have a mask on. She looks more real, rather than some dream that you hope to have some nights; she looks like the person he’s come to know. In a way, she appears more vulnerable and therefore trusting to Henry this way.
She comes out of the shower, radiating heat and the scent of flowers. Henry reaches out to hug her but she pushes him away, “You still need to shower.”
Henry whines but complies. He showers as quickly as he can but finds Mei Lin already underneath the covers and appears to already be asleep. He frowns but gets into bed slowly so that he’s not to disturb Mei Lin should she really be asleep. He reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair from Mei Lin’s face and she moves under his touch with a hum. “Měi Mèi,” Henry says, taking advantage of Mei Lin’s even more vulnerable state.
“Hm?” Mei Lin asks, refusing to open her eyes.
“Ngo5 oi3 nei5,” ("I love you,") he says whisperingly. Mei Lin’s eyes force themselves open to make sure that she heard him correctly. “Wǒ ài nǐ,” ("I love you,") he says again. Mei Lin blinks her wide eyes as her heart threatens her composure. “Saranghae,” ("I love you,") Henry says in the same soft tone, but now with a smile. Mei Lin feels chills, much like how she use to whenever Junsu would say such lovely words. “Je t’aime…” ("I love you...") Mei Lin is wide-awake now. “Mei Lin,” Henry says a bit louder. “I love you.”
Mei Lin forgets that she’s still blinking profusely every half-second and doesn’t realize it until she has to swallow the lump in so that she can breathe again. Though it is dim with only city and moonlight filtering through the curtains, even Mei Lin’s eyes are dilated enough to see that Henry’s are b with sincerity.
She doesn’t even realize that his fingers have been running along her scalp this whole time, and it doesn’t occur to her that he’s not using the same hand to pull himself closer to her, so that he can close the gap and give her a kiss that pushes her over the edge. Mei Lin quickly takes in a deep breath through her nose to compensate for what she knows is being taken from her, but even her preparation is not enough for how long Henry claimed her lips. There’s no mercy when he finally did pull back as he twists his body so that it rests loosely on top of hers so that he can more easily access her jaw and neck, eliciting staggering gasps for air out of shock, and hopefully, pleasure.
When Henry brushes to the soft spot on Mei Lin’s neck right behind her ear, Mei Lin shudders and tenses when she feels Henry smirk against her skin. He kisses that spot slowly, brushing the tip of his tongue ever so slightly to in a way that makes her whole body want to contort. “Hin—Hin Wah…” she stutters, in attempt to beg him to stop but it only encourages Henry to continue. He lifts himself up and Mei Lin expected him to come back down to her lips but he only goes to abuse the other side of Mei Lin’s neck, which is just as sensitive. “Hin Wah,” she says again, only this time, unintentionally.
Henry finally returns to Mei Lin’s lips, taking what little breath she had left until she melts completely under his touch. He slows down and comes to a stop when he feels the strength leave her tense muscles and when Mei Lin stops trying to fight back. She half-expected Henry to take advantage of the fact that she is giving in, but instead, he turns so that they are both resting on their sides, forcing Mei Lin to look at him as he searches for any sign of disapproval. Mei Lin quickly looks away and does her best to cover her face but Henry won’t allow her to turn. Henry kisses Mei Lin on the forehead and settles for having her curled up in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” Mei Lin says, feeling as if she had just disappointed someone she really cares for.
“Are you—”
“Not since I was eighteen,” Mei Lin says quickly.
Henry pulls back and looks down at Mei Lin in disbelief after having done the quick mental math. “That means that Junsu—”
“Yeah,” Mei Lin says. “Senior year, winter break; it was really cold that night…”
“What were you two doing outside?” Henry asks, even though part of him is pretty sure he doesn’t want to know the details.
“We went up to the mountains to do some snowboarding and some skiing; just some snow fun. We pulled our money together and got a cabin. Junsu and I were putting away the equipment and the shed door closed on us,” Mei Lin buries her face deeper to shield herself from the embarrassment but Henry only pulled back even more so that he could hear her more clearly. “It didn’t lock but it froze shut…” Henry snickers at the mental image he has of a younger Mei Lin and Junsu getting stuck inside a storage shed in the cold at night. “No signal and it was freezing, literally.” Mei Lin shivers at the memory and Henry welcomes this by hugging her a bit tighter. “We kept ourselves talking by joking around and just anything that came to mind. Falling asleep was not an option.”
Mei Lin closes her eyes and shivers again at how cold it was that night. How it felt like she had no extremities; how the cold was biting through her layers of clothing; how one kiss warmed up her whole body. To this day, Mei Lin questions whether it was for the sake of warmth or if the couple truly wanted and had been ready for , but thinking back, considering how caring Junsu was even in the cold, repeatedly asking if Mei Lin was alright and if he should stop, Mei Lin can’t help but conclude that it was indeed love.
Mei Lin buries her face again, but this time, clutching onto Henry’s shirt so that he can’t pull away, at the embarrassing memories. “Was it bad?” Henry asks, unsure as to why Mei Lin is acting this way.
“No,” Mei Lin chokes. “It hurt…a lot. But it was anything but bad…” Mei Lin clears . “Though he might have thought that afterwords.”
“Why?” Henry asks, finding this to be amusing rather than awkward.
“I was very embarrassed,” Mei Lin admits. “I couldn’t even look at him or talk to him for a good twenty four hours—I was just so overwhelmed and I just didn’t know what to think or feel.” I just couldn’t believe that I trusted someone like that. “Have you ever—”
“Yeah.” Now it’s Henry’s turn to feel uncomfortable. “Seventeen…”
“That’s when you were in Canada for boarding school and—”
“Yeah…” Henry says, not feeling very proud of it.
“Yi Fan went to the same school—”
“Yeah.” Henry sets his jaw, not wanting to say more than he has to.
Mei Lin is silent as all the pieces fall into place. “No wonder he hates you…” is all that Mei Lin manages to say but somehow, that stings more than he had expected it to. “No wonder he’s pissed…”
“She picked me,” Henry says in his defense. “I just didn’t say no…How could I?”
“What do you mean?” Mei Lin asks.
“She had cancer,” Henry says with a frown. “She got into the school through scholarships but her family didn’t have the money to get her proper treatment in time…” Henry sighs. “She never took advantage of that fact, though; she never played the dying cancer girl card; though no one would blame her if she did. She was like you in a way, maybe that’s why I fell in love with her.”
“Then why did Yi Fan like her?” Mei Lin asks.
“Who knows,” Henry says, shrugging. “We sort of stopped talking after he found out that she confessed…”
“Maybe that’s why he hates me,” Mei Lin sighs. “I remind him of her.”
“I think he’s just afraid of letting his guard down like that,” Henry explains. “No one knew she was dying until she told me one day months after we had been dating. Someone had overheard her say it and it spread like an oil fire. She was gone less than a year later. Yi Fan’s just afraid of having to watch the people that he loves die. First Angel and now his mother…even if he did care about you, I doubt that he would even let himself acknowledge it in fear that you would suffer the same fate as the others.”
“There’s more than just Angel and his mom?” Mei Lin asks.
Henry nods. “They use to have a dog; puppy, really. It died when he was a kid even though he took such good care of it because it had genetic anemia. Poor boy was crushed apparently. He didn’t have many friends growing up, and even so, he didn’t talk very much. But apparently, he would talk for hours to that poor puppy.”
“I should be in the clear then,” Mei Lin says jokingly. “I don’t have a terminal disease so it’s unlikely that he even cares about my existence.”
“Give him a bit of credit—”
Mei Lin’s phone vibrates and cuts Henry off. Mei Lin reaches over and squints at the contrasting bright screen. Yi Fan is calling. “Wèi?” Mei Lin answers. She can hear a faint but slow beeping in the background, but what bothers her is the mumbling sound of concerned doctors. “Yi Fan?”
“I told you, ‘you’re needed here.’”
Translations/Author's Notes:
-
"'Does it burn?'...'It's a silver wristwatch, not a scarlet letter'..." = As the title of this chapter suggests, these lines are said in reference to Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter: A Romance, another book commonly read by high schoolers in the States. Gale asks if it burns because the scarlet letter that is worn in the novel is sometimes referred to as burning.
-
"'I should give you a rose'..." = At the end of the first chapter of this novel, the narrator offers the reader a rose because the novel's story is going to be a sad one and the rose is also a symbol, but at that point, it is meant to consol you for what's to come. Mei Lin says this because she (unfortunately) has some bad news regarding their relationship.
-
"'Since when did Hester and Authur ever get married?'...'But they had Pearl and—'..."We didn't do anthing,'..."It was a walk...'..." = Hester Prynne and Authur Dimesdale are the main couple in the novel whom had a relationship and encounter that they shouldn't have, the result being a baby girl, which Hester named Pearl. The walk in the forest refers to a part in the novel where the couple is alone in the forest and they have an intimate moment (it is unclear as to what happens here; all we know for sure is that it was intimate) and a year before the scaffold refers to how at the beginning of the novel, Pearl is three months old in Hesters arms while she stands atop of the scaffold for everyone to see her sin. Doing the math, that means that Pearl had to have been concieved one year prior to the start of the novel.
-
TL;DR = Mei Lin and Gale are drawing parallels between their relationship and the one happening between Henry and Mei Lin.
-
Nǐ shì Chén Měi Lín ma? (你是陳美琳嗎?) = Are you Chen Mei Lin?
-
Nǐ kě yǐ shuō yīng wén ma? (你可以説英文嗎?) = Do you speak English?/Can you speak English?
-
NOTE: How Mandarin and Cantonese are romanized are very similar but the "alphabet" is a bit different as well as the sounds. Canontese pinyin (or Jyuptping as it's called) has a different system and although they do use vowel stress marks as well (sometimes), they also use the number system to indicate which tone. For the sake of clarification and so that there's no confusion as to which dialect the characters are speaking in, I will use the numerical system when romanizing Cantonese. Also! There is more than one way to say the same thing in Chinese and epecially in Cantonese. Please realize that in this chapter, the language is very informal and almost rude and NOT proper. This is done on purpose.
-
Gei3 dak1 (記得) = [I] remember.
-
Keoi5 dei6 hou2 a (他們好啊) = They are good/They are doing well. The "a" added at the end of a phrase or sentence makes what was said very casual and informal. Normally, when you're speaking to someone older than you, you would omit this short "a" at the end but also note that it is also just part of the Guangzhou slang? (is that a good way to put it?) it's just very commonly used in Guangzhou...even if you're being polite.
-
Do1 ze6 (多謝) = Thank you (lit. Much thanks)
-
Loeng6 daan6 hai6, nei5 m4 dak1 gin4 ngo5 ge3 ji4 (亮雖是 , 你別可以看我的子) = Even though you are pretty, you are not allowed to see my son.
-
Deoi3 m4 zyu6 a (對不起啊) = I'm sorry. (again, informal)
-
Ngo5 hou2 zung1 ji3 keoi5 a (我好喜歡他啊) = I really like him. (informal)
-
Keoi3 m4 zung1 ji3 nei5 (他不喜歡你) = He doesn't like you.
-
Ngo5 dei6 m4 zung4 ji3 nei5 (我們不喜歡你) = We don't like you.
-
Nei5 dei6 m4 hei2 m4 zung4 ji3 ngo5 (你們不是不喜歡我) = literally: You do not not like me.
-
Nei5 dei6 m4 zung4 ji3 ngo5 ge3 gaa1 ting4 (你們不喜歡我的家庭) = You do not like my family.
-
Nei5 oi3 nei5 ge3 ji4 maa3? (你愛你的子嗎?) = Do you love your son?
-
Gam2 zau6, dim2 gaai2 nei5 m4 bei2 keoi5 hoi1 sam1 a? = Then, why do you not allow him to be happy? (informal)
-
Keoi5 hoi1 sam1 a?! = He's happy[, huh]?! The "a" here implies disbelief, rather than informality, even though that can also be the case.
-
Keoi5 dim2— = How can he—
-
Baa1 (爸) = Dad/Father
-
Ngo5 oi3 Mei5 Lam4 (我愛美琳) = I love Mei Lin. (Mei5 Lam4 is Mei Lin's name in Cantonese Jyupting)
-
Ngo ji4 gaa1 hou2 hoi1 sam1 a (我現在好高興啊) = I am very/really happy [right] now. (The "a" here is used in a relaxed or casual form, rather than informal)
-
Zan1 hai6? (真是) = Really?
-
Zan1 hai6 a. (真是啊) = Really. With the way that it is used here, it might be more correct to translate this as: "I can't believe it it" because when harshly said with exclamatory diction, it's usually because of disbelief or frustraition.
-
I know that according to the time line that Junsu is actually a good eight years older than Mei Lin [and therefore three years Henry's senior] making it impossible for the two to have attended middle and high school together in the same grade but for the sake of the story and fiction, let's pretend that Junsu is about the same age as Mei Lin and Gale.
-
Ngo5 oi3 nei5 (我愛你) = I love you (Cantontese)
-
Wǒ ài nǐ (我愛你) = I love you (Mandarin)
-
Saranghae = I love you (informal Korean)
-
Je t’aime = I love you (French)
Comments