A Feeling of Failure
Bastard“What do you mean you’re giving me a promotion? Where are you going?”
“Lu Han owes me a favor; the record will show that I gave proper notice and that today is my last day. You will be the new Head of International Relations.” Don’t drag this out longer than it has to; just let me leave.
“Does this have something to do with Mei? Why are you all so cold now? Wouldn’t Yi Fan be more suited for the job?”
“You ask too many questions. I have a plane to catch.”
That’s a lie; you have a private jet. “But—”
“You know, most people would be happy to receive this position. You should be honored that you, someone who has been in this building less than a year, are now Head of a Department, the international one nonetheless. Be grateful that you’re being promoted instead of fired.”
The elevator doors close and shortly after, Victor hears files spilling out of someone’s arms. He turns towards the sound to see if someone needs help but Mei Lin simply stands there, unmoving. “Mei—”
“Well,” Mei Lin says to herself. “I guess this is only fitting.” He doesn’t want to deal with my “cheating” so he’s going to make me deal with this one’s.
“What on Earth are you talking about?” Victor takes a step towards Mei Lin but she makes no move to pick up what she has dropped so Victor stops.
At an instant, Mei Lin’s expression changes and she leaves, forgetting about her files and heads for the roof. Bai Fu comes out of the ladies’ restroom (her make up now fixed) and straightens herself out before her new boss. “Mr. Chang?”
“Please clean this up and have it delivered to Ms. Chan’s office,” Victor says absent-mindedly.
“Ms. Chan?” Bai Fu asks, confused by the mix of dialects that her boss is using. Aren’t you from Beijing? Why are you calling her by her Cantonese name?
“Ms. Chen, my mistake,” Victor says, catching himself. “Perhaps the local language has finally started to rub off on me.” He chuckles nervously and walks into his new office. At least now she doesn’t have to look at me.
Goodness, does this girl have everyone wrapped around her finger? Bai Fu asks herself with a smudge of jealousy as she picks up the mess of files. She peaks in as picks them up. Mid-Autumn memos? Bai Fu delivers the files after deciding that they are worth nothing to her.
“Excuse me,” Mei Lin says before she leaves. “May I ask why you had these files?”
“They were on the floor. Mr. Chang asked me to being them to you.”
“While you’re here, would you mind telling your boss that he has a lunch meeting with mine today.”
“He is already aware.” I know how to do my job. “Are you aware of the content of my former boss’ letter of resignation?”
“Pardon? What else is there to know besides who he chose to promote?”
“Perhaps you should look at your stocks and shares of the company, Ms. Chen.”
Mei Lin pulls up her accounts on her desktop and just about freezes upon sight. “Well, at least he didn’t completely screw me over…”
“This is more than you deserve if you ask me,” Bai Fu mumbles. He should’ve left me with something—anything.
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. “You can leave now, Ms. Zhong.”
Bai Fu gives a deathly glare to Zi Tao before leaving. What a . Keeping him here, how tasteless.
“Zi Tao,” Mei Lin says.
“Y-yes, Ms. Chan?” Zi Tao asks, feeling caught off-guard.
“Do you hate me?”
“N-no, why would I?” He feels himself getting hot all of a sudden.
“I’ve put you through quite a bit of hell—”
“I am fairly certain that I have caused you even more trouble.”
“May I ask you another question?” It’s been bothering me for a while now.
“Of course.”
“Do you have feelings for me?” I’ll take his silence as a yes. “And you haven’t said anything?” Mei Lin keeps her eyes on her work so that she doesn’t intimidate Zi Tao too much.
“It’s not my place,” he says softly.
“Well, I’m single now,” Mei Lin points out. Not that I would…I don’t see you that way.
“My apologies, Ms. Chan, but I can’t.” Even though I know you don’t mean those words.
“Humor me, Tao,” Mei Lin says with a bittersweet smile. “Pretend that you wouldn’t be the rebound.” And that I actually have romantic feelings for you.
“I still can’t,” Zi Tao says.
“Maybe in another life then?”
“…Not even then,” he says softly while looking down at his hands.
Mei Lin looks over at him confused. “May I ask what’s stopping you?”
“Of course, but I’m afraid that it is not my place to tell you.”
Mei Lin decides to stop prodding because the way Zi Tao’s eyes are glazing over is breaking her heart. “My apologies for asking such things.”
“May I ask you something, Ms. Chan?”
“Anything.”
“Why did you—”
“It’s getting dangerous, isn’t it?” Mei Lin asks, referring to how her apartment was broken into a few nights ago. “He’s only at this company because of me and his family.” Kinda like me… “Nothing about this job really made him happy besides me and he hasn’t exactly been happy with me lately. He deserves to be happy—you should see how he is when he’s composing or writing lyrics.” Mei Lin lets out a subconscious sigh that pulls at Zi Tao’s heartstrings. “Sometimes I felt like he was with me because he felt guilty for what had happened.” Mei Lin fights the oncoming tears. “It’s for the best, no? He’ll be happier and he’s safe.” And that’s all that matters.
“…I’m sorry.”
Mei Lin shakes her head, I brought this upon myself.
Yi Fan walks in and is quickly concerned when he sees that two of his employees are on the brink of tears. “Who needs to be fired?” Yi Fan asks.
The two chuckle and wipe their eyes. “Do you need something, sir?”
Yes, for you to stop calling me that. “Do you have the Mid-Autumn files?” Mei Lin points to them and Yi Fan walks over to the table to thumb through them.
“I was going to give them to you later, you know that. What’s this really about?”
Nothing gets past you, does it? “I just wanted to make sure you were prepared for what it means to hold that much of the company.”
Liar, you just wanted to see her, Zi Tao rolls his eyes.
“If people keep leaving and leaving me their stocks and shares, soon I’ll be the next person in line to inherit this company.”
“I’m sure my father would like that.”
“Him? Liking the fact that a woman will be running his company? Ha! I’m sure he would much rather have his own son do it. Besides, you haven’t been so bad… Sir?”
I’m not his son… “What?”
“Are you alright?” You’re shaking.
“Uh, yeah…”
The other two in the room narrow their eyes, Liar.
“You know what, let me take care of this,” Mei Lin says, taking back the files. “You should go see your mother. It is Mid-Autumn after all…”
Yi Fan is about to object but is quickly reminded that Mei Lin has no family or close friends in the country anymore. “Alright. Tao, stay with her.” No one should be alone on Mid-Autumn.
“Ms. Chen,” Victoria says through the intercom. “There’s a package for you from Hong Kong.”
The three walk out to the lobby and sees a medium parcel on Mei Lin secretary desk. “It’s from Henry…” She opens it and finds two square tins. “Mooncakes from Hong Kong.” She brings them back to her office and the boys follow. I almost forgot…we spend Mid-Autumn together. “Sir, you should take a box with you when you see your mother.”
“I can’t.”
“You should. Surely you don’t expect me to eat eight mooncakes. Even with Tao's help it would be difficult.” Mei Lin’s soft smile convinces him.
“This is the expensive kind; Lau doesn’t skimp when it comes to you, does he?” What kind of stupid question was that? “How are you holding up?”
Mei Lin simply shrugs. “Would there be anything else, sir?”
“Yes. Please, call me Wu Yi.”
“I don’t see why he insists on that,” Mei Lin says once he leaves.
Because he wants you to see him as more than just your boss. “Because you called him that from the day that you got here. You say that he’s changed but you don’t act like it.”
“Are you referring to me handling the Mid-Autumn Fundraiser?”
“No, Ms. Chan,” Zi Tao says with a bit of a laugh. You’re almost as dense as he is. “Just be more accepting of him should he say or do anything different.”
“Why would he act any different?” I haven’t noticed anything past a gradual shift.
“Because this company, as well as yourself, just lost two very important people. Things are changing, so we have to change to go with it, yes?”
“Since when were you so profound?”
“Since I realized that other people’s happiness are more important than my own.”
That night Mei Lin and Zi Tao attend the local festival in place of Yi Fan. Other employees (such as Lu Han and Victor) of GIBI also attend for the sake of good PR. Mei Lin and Zi Tao mingle among the locals and other business folks in attendance but mostly keep to themselves. When the chairman of GIBI arrives in his personal limousine, the cameras flash in a way that would make the old man blind, if he wasn’t already. He bows and shakes hands with his fellow competitors for the cameras but those in attendance knows that it’s nothing more than a publicity stunt.
Once all the formalities are out of the way, Mr. Wu makes his way to his employees, whom shake his hand and bow respectfully. However, the atmosphere is different when he faces Zi Tao and Mei Lin. “You cost me two very good employees, Ms. Chen,” he says smoothly. “You wouldn’t happen to know where my son is, would you?”
Zi Tao flinches at the deadly glare that he is given. “He is with his mother,” Mei Lin says coolly. “It is Mid-Autumn after all.”
“Are you implying something, Ms. Chen? You really are in no position to be judging me.”
“We have a similar holiday back in the States. They call it Thanksgiving but it happens on the fourth Thursday of November. Much like Mid-Autumn, it is a time for family and even friends to get together and enjoy each other’s company.”
“Are you an American, Ms. Chen?”
“I am by citizenship,” Mei Lin says back. “My family is in the States,” she explains. “I have no reason not to be here.”
“Are you suggesting that I have made a poor choice, Ms. Chen?” Mr. Wu asks, not liking the informal tone that the young lady is using towards him. “You would know about poor choices, wouldn’t you?”
Zi Tao shivers again at the dead stare. “You are anything but poor, Mr. Chairman,” Mei Lin says. “But surely this company isn’t more important than your family.”
“When you get to be my age, Ms. Chen, you’ll understand when I say that this company is my life.”
“I would surely hope not,” Mei Lin says. “What a pitiful thing to say.”
“I beg your pardon!” The buzzing conversations hush but only for a moment for Mei Lin’s composure is anything but broken. “How dare you—”
Zi Tao steps in front of Mei Lin just as Mr. Wu is about to raise his hand to do God knows what. Whatever fear Mr. Wu had instilled into Zi Tao is now gone and replaced with a strong sense and need of protectiveness. Mei Lin puts her hand on Zi Tao’s shoulder and he slowly steps to the side. Mei Lin takes the chairman’s hand and shakes it. “Tell your wife I said hello.”
“That was a bold move,” Zi Tao says once they are to the side with a champagne glass each.
“He was only mad because he knew I was right,” Mei Lin says, swirling the fizzing liquid in her glass. “He wouldn’t dare fire me without just cause.”
“He had a point. You’re not exactly the best person to be judging how one views their family,” Zi Tao says, knowing full well that he’s pushing his boundaries.
“I told you about my family and my relations with them as an act of trust, and how you throw that in my face?” Mei Lin chuckles. “I know I’m being stubborn when it comes to my folks but I’m only doing what’s expected of me. I still send them a fair sum of money and I call to tell them Happy Birthday. Hell, I even broke up with Henry. There was no such thing as unconditional love in that family and I see no point in trying to start that now.”
“It’s worth a shot, right—”
“No, it isn’t,” Mei Lin says, her eyes narrowing at the bitter memories. “I’ve tried before but you can only get shot down so many times before you just stay down, Tao. Junsu showed me what real unconditional love was, Victor got me to try reconnecting with them and giving them a second chance and Henry had to repair the damage that that had caused.” Mei Lin laughs at herself. “Damn.”
“What?”
“I sound like a weak little girl who needs a man to show her what love is. I sound so dependent and pathetic.”
Neither party touches their drinks.
“You’re not,” Zi Tao finally says. “You’re probably one of the strongest people that I know. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little help every now and again.”
“And who taught you that little piece of wisdom?” Mei Lin asks.
“Duì zhǎng did,” Zi Tao smiles.
“A proud man such as him taught you that?” Victor asks.
Zi Tao glares at the man but takes that as his cue to leave when all of Victor’s attention is clearly on Mei Lin, who is about to leave with Zi Tao but her arm is grabbed. She says nothing and does nothing to move.
“Can I ask you something?” Victor asks.
“No one’s stopping you,” Mei Lin mutters, still refusing to look at him even though he moves to stand in front of her.
He switches over to English to deter curious eavesdroppers. He should be here, not you in his place. “Why are you still working for that vainglorious—”
“Please, tell me how you really feel,” Mei Lin says, caking on the sarcasm.
However, Victor took this opportunity to use his extensive English vocabulary. “What I don’t understand is why you still insist on being that otiose buffoon’s secretary when you’re one of the principle owners of this company now. He’s nothing but a baronial brat; don’t let him subjugate you, Mei.” I didn’t let you go for you to be someone else’s lackie.
“For a second there, it almost sounded like you care,” Mei Lin snaps. “How dare you say such things about a man that you know nothing about?”
You see him as a man?
“You think that just because you’re now the Head of the IR Department that you can say whatever you want? Well you listen to me and you better listen well.” Victor swallows a lump in this throat that he didn’t even know had formed to keep from choking on his own breath. “No one says such odious things about my boss; you will not defile his name—”
“It’s already defiled—”
Mei Lin promptly chucks the contents of her glass in the face of her ex-boyfriend. Zi Tao and Lu Han hold back a bubbling urge to laugh with a firm smirk. You lost your right to care years ago. Mei Lin turns around and leaves with Zi Tao following suit.
“What did he say?” Zi Tao asks on the ride back home. He steals a glance over at the passenger seat, Mei Lin having been too angry to drive. Without an answer, Zi Tao decides to ask about something else. “Why were you on the roof today?”
“Do you have a tracker on me, Tao?” Mei Lin asks.
“Lau gave me the one he has on your phone,” Zi Tao admits.
I almost forgot about that thing. Mei Lin stares down at her iPhone and debates on getting a new one. I have had this since I got here. Maybe it’s time for an upgrade.
“Anything you want to talk about?” Zi Tao offers.
“Not tonight,” Mei Lin sighs. It’s been a long day.
Meanwhile Yi Fan walks into the hospital feeling a bit empty without Mei Lin following three steps behind him. This isn’t the first time that he visited his mother alone but he’s hoping that this is the last. It would be nice to show her that I found someone already. He shifts the pink orchids and mooncakes that are in his arms once he enters her room. It doesn’t surprise Yi Fan in the least when he sees her alone. It’s Mid-Autumn…
I didn’t think you would come back after what I told you…
The silence is thicker than the filling of the mooncakes.
So while Yi Fan’s mind is swimming with thoughts of Mei Lin and what his real last name should be, Mrs. Wu breaks the silence with, “Is there something on your mind, son?” Yi Fan looks up into the eyes of his dying mother but one question floats to the surface of his own eyes. “Ms. Chen doesn’t have any family in the country, does she?”
“Tao is with her,” Yi Fan says, his mouth going dry. Whether it was from the mooncake or something else is another question.
“Have you finally figured it out, son?” she asks. Unsure of what his mother is referring to, he says nothing. “Tā hěn piào liang, duì bù duì?” ("She's very pretty, isn't she?")
It takes Yi Fan a moment to process what his mother just asked but when he comprehends the simply words, he smiles softly and simply says, “Duì.” ("Yes.")
“So what are you going to do about it?” she asks, knowing already that Henry had left the country.
“Nothing,” Yi Fan says simply.
“But you’ve always cared about her,” his mother points out. “You deny it but it’s true.”
Yi Fan sighs, finding no reason that he could argue with. “She’s been through a lot and she does a lot. The last thing she needs a child like me—”
“You are not a child,” Mrs. Wu corrects him. “You are my son, yes, but you are a man.”
Yi Fan looks down and away at the kind words, unsure of how to deal with the affectionate praise. “I’m going to be more responsible, not only for her but so that my mother can be proud of me.”
“I’m already proud of you.”
Yi Fan’s blink count increases as he blinks back the tears. “You two have done a lot for me. I intend to return that three fold,” Yi Fan smiles.
He spends the night at the hospital with his mother, in (false) hopes that his father would show. Before he leaves the next morning, she asks over breakfast, “Is there nothing else that you wish to know?” Surely you are upset with me for keeping this from you.
“Shì shuí?” ("Who is it?") Yi Fan asks.
Mrs. Wu sighs and motions for her son to sit down because it will be a lengthy story. “Your father and I married out of convenience and business, you know this, yes?” Yi Fan nods. “Right around that time, his company was just starting to take off. He was so busy…” His mother’s hazy smile saddens him. “I’m sure you of all people know that everyone needs a bit of affection every now and then. Apologies and gifts are little in comparison to a loving touch.” Which is why I did little to scold you when you sought the attention of those cheap . “Soon those apologies and gifts came with a messenger,” she smirks at the memories. “And how sad is it when the messenger cares more for you than your own husband?” Mrs. Wu laughs to herself a bit but Yi Fan could see the thick gloss that’s threatening to spill over her eyes. “So in a moment of weakness, I let certain things happen…I knew it meant nothing. He knew it meant nothing—though the fool even considered resigning once he realized what had happened. Why else do you think he sticks to your father so loyally?” Yi Fan swallows to settle his discomfort. “Don’t misunderstand; your father had needs too. But loveless only does so much to fill that never-ending hole.” Yi Fan nods unconsciously, being familiar with the feeling. “Your father doesn’t know and neither does your biological father.”
“How did you know—”
“Your eyes,” she says. “From the moment you were born I knew you couldn’t have been Wu’s son. Your eyes were too bright and loving.” I also had Zhou Mi secretly run a DNA test. “I’ve been keeping this from everyone because I feared what would happen to you should he find out. You would lose your inheritance and—”
“Ma,” Yi Fan says. “It’s fine.”
You’re not mad? “I’m so sorry.”
Yi Fan only nods to indicate that he accepts her unnecessary apology (well, unnecessary in his mind). “I should get to work. Mei’s going to have my head if I’m late.”
Mrs. Wu smiles at how her son’s eyes light up at the mention of Mei Lin’s name. “Alright, son. Take care, alright?”
“I will, Ma.” He decides to hug her but bites at the urge to tell her that he loves her.
But from the length of the hug, Mrs. Wu says, “Wǒ yě ài nǐ.” ("I love you too.")
Yi Fan wipes the tears from his eyes once he is out of her sight. “If anything happens, call me personally; don’t call my office,” he tells the doctor before he leaves. Mei doesn’t need to deal with this. She’s done more than enough for me.
He gets off the elevator right as Mei Lin checks her watch. “Cutting it kind of close there, aren’t we, sir?” Mei Lin says with a bright smile.
I’m surprise you still have the watch. “Get back to work Mei Mei,” Yi Fan says in a false tone of annoyance.
Mei Lin chuckles at their running joke and gets up from her secretary desk. “Yes, sir.”
However, just as she’s about to enter her own office, Yi Fan says from the top of his steps, “Oh and Mei.”
“Yes, sir?”
“Thank you for covering for me last night, it won’t happen again.”
Mei Lin is left standing halfway across the threshold with blinking eyes. “Did I hear that correctly?” Mei Lin asks, looking at Zi Tao who has made the couch his home.
“Which part aren’t you sure about? The gratitude or the promise?”
“…Both.”
“Don’t you all have a meeting in an hour?”
And what a tense meeting that was. It was primarily about the new shifts in the chain of command now that Henry is gone. Lu Han came under fire for not informing the chairman of the “prior notice” that Henry had given and to save him, Mei Lin suggested that Victor goes on his own international tour so that the other branches would be at ease.
“Would it be alright if the PR Head joins me as well? I could use the company and guidance and I’m sure that would also help—”
“Either that or scare them half to death,” Mei Lin mumbles.
“She has a point. What are they going to think when they see the chairman’s son?” Lu Han chuckles.
“That someone’s getting fired,” Suho laughs.
“I’ll go,” Yi Fan says suddenly. “I want to show them that I care about this company. Besides, I wouldn’t want my new coworker to get lost in the big world.”
“The PR Department is actually going to work with IR?” Suho scoffs.
“That’s how it’s suppose to be,” Yi Fan says matter-of-factly.
“Well it’s about time,” Lu Han snickers. “Maybe it’s a good thing Lau left to prance around on a stage.” That earns him a harsh glare from both Mei Lin and Yi Fan.
After the meeting, Mei Lin asks Yi Fan, “Would you like me to—”
“Chang’s secretary is taking care of all the arrangements. Just start the paperwork on my visas, please,” Yi Fan says. “I want you to stay here and take care of anything that might come up. They’re going to be without the Heads of two Departments, the last thing that they need is for you to tag along because I can’t take notes.” Besides, I doubt you’ll want to be around him anyways.
“Um…alright. Thank you, sir.”
“I’m just doing my job Mei.” He gives Mei Lin a look that could only be defined as a warm smile.
“Then I guess I should do mine as well,” Mei Lin says, smiling back. “I’ll have this done by the end of the day.”
“No rush. Chang’s secretary isn’t as fast as you. I don’t expect an itinerary until tomorrow afternoon.”
Mei Lin chuckles and gets to work while watching her boss climb up the steps to his office. While he’s looking over files and information on all the various branches that are under GIBI, he gets a phone call. Not wanting to lose his place on the page, he answers without checking to see who is calling. “Wèi?”
All the nightmares and quiet hours alone on the roof could not have prepared for the cold words that are being heard. Yi Fan doesn’t need to understand what the man on the other end is saying to know the subject of the call; his tone says it all. The man on the other end says a very practiced, “Wǒ zhēn duì bù qǐ,” ("I am so sorry,") and hangs up, having dealt with situations like this one too many times.
With a shaking hand, Yi Fan reaches over to the small remote that controls the lighting of his office and blacks out all the glass save for the one that allows him to view the sad city below him. He stands up and paces a bit, not wanting to believe what he was just told and ends up standing before the glass wall, wishing that it wasn’t there. He shoves his hands deep into his pant pockets and shuts his eyes, refusing to allow the stinging feeling in them to take over. I didn’t even tell her that I loved her.
All the while, Mei Lin had been mindlessly entering memorized personal information into the visa applications. After a while, a strange chink in her neck compels her to stop and stretch. While stretching her muscles, she sees that her boss’ office looks as if he just painted it black. The phone on her secretary desk rings and she answers, “Hello? Wu Yi Fan’s office, how may I help you?”
“Oh, they must have misdirected me. I was looking for the chairman’s office,” the man on the other ends says.
Mei Lin glances at the number displayed and finds it familiar. “Let me connect you.”
“Thank you so much.”
Once she hangs up, her fingers return to her keyboard but no typing happens. “Something wrong, Ms. Chen?” Victoria asks.
And that’s when it hits Mei Lin. Something is wrong. She scrambles up the twelve steps that seem like a mountain but once she’s before the black glass doors, she can’t bring herself to open the doors. Please let me be wrong. Please let that not have been the hospital. Mei Lin, for the first time ever, knocks on Yi Fan’s door and enters a moment later. She finds her boss standing motionless and dangerously close to the glass. From the reflection, she could see the lackluster expression that dons his pallor. “Sir?”
He looks at her through the reflection but makes no move to say anything. And as Mei Lin had feared, Yi Fan is still clutching his cell phone with shaking hands. From the corner of his vision, he could see her head drop. Please don’t blame yourself. He lets out an audible sigh, keeping himself from crying in front of her, and sits in one of the two plush couches he has in his office. On the glass coffee table is a round silver tray that holds a fancy crystal bottle of hard liquor. He opens it much to the disappointment and understanding of Mei Lin. She turns to leave when he pours himself a glass but stops when she sees him pour into a second glass and sets it across from him. Don’t leave me now.
With one glance, she turns back around and sits on the couch across from him, taking the crystal glass as she sits. Mei Lin feels a surge of sadness and failure as she watches the liquor in her glass. Yi Fan stares at his own glass as well while hunching over with his forearms on his thighs. He debates not drinking it but Mei Lin beats him to it, swallowing what he had poured her in one gulp. Yi Fan follows suit and sets his glass on the table.
There is a solemn silence involving Mei Lin looking out at how disgustingly clear and blue the sky is today while Yi Fan inspects his hands. It isn’t until his neck feels stiff does he look up and around to see shining streams streak down Mei Lin’s face. He watches as she wipes her cheeks with her palms and struggles not to sniffle. If Yi Fan’s heart had not been broken already, it surely is now. His head hangs off his shoulders at the sight and he watches as tears wet his tile floor. Mei Lin takes a chance to look over at her boss but their glasses are right where they had left them and what’s more is that she could see tears fall from behind his fringe.
“I’m sorry for making you fill out all those visas,” Yi Fan says in a low voice that contradicts his expression.
He’s certainly more composed than me. Mei Lin could only bring herself to shake her head in hope that it would translate to “don’t worry about it.”
“They said she died happy and with a smile,” Yi Fan says calmly, even though his eyes are still pink and threatening to betray the mask he’s putting on. “Thanks for the advice.” This confuses Mei Lin. “About Mid-Autumn.” Mei Lin can only manage to pull her lips into a thin and flat smile—if you could call it that. “I’m going on the roof.” He stands up and glances down at how Mei Lin is curled up on the couch. “Take the rest of the day off—I know I will be.” Mei Lin nods, unable to look into the eyes of her boss directly.
As he’s about to leave, Mei Lin stands up and straightens herself with a loud sniff. However, all her attempts to wear a mask fall to pieces when Yi Fan offers her the handkerchief from his blazer. She accepts the fabric but finds that she can’t bring it to her eyes. How selfish am I being right now? He just lost his mother and here I am crying and making it about me. Those thoughts are only further enforced when Yi Fan puts his arms around Mei Lin. However, it’s more for his sake than hers. I’m so sorry. She puts her arms around his waist and her hands lightly against his shoulder blades.
They stand like that until neither wanted to let go. After a while however, Yi Fan feels Mei Lin’s weight leaning on him a bit more than it should. He looks down and sees that she had fallen asleep with dried tears still staining her cheeks. You must be drained. He sets her on the couch and takes off his blazer so that she doesn’t catch a cold from the cold vents. Yi Fan also tints the final glass wall and turns off all the lights so that the room darkens just enough. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. Before Yi Fan heads to the roof, he passes the lobby’s secretary desk. “Please cancel the rest of Ms. Chan’s day, Victoria,” he says.
“Uh—yes, of course,” Victoria nearly stutters, this being the first time Yi Fan had spoken to her in a respectful manner. Where’s your jacket?
Just as Yi Fan gets on the roof, Mei Lin awakes, thinking that she’s still in Yi Fan’s arms when she takes a deep breath. Wu Yi? She opens her eyes in disappointment when she realizes that it’s only his jacket and not him himself. She checks her watch, How long have I been… She realizes that the room is empty and quickly fixes herself to be presentable before stepping out and scrambling to her secretary desk.
“He had me cancel the rest of your day…” Victoria says slowly when she sees her boss going a mile a minute between her tablet and the desktop. “May I ask what you’re doing?”
“I’m rescheduling everything,” Mei Lin says. For the next fifteen minutes, Mei Lin is making it so nothing pressing is happening for the next three days. “I might not be here tomorrow,” Mei Lin says. “Give the interns the files that are on my desk if they ask. Bye.” Mei Lin runs to the elevators and punches the button for the top floor.
The sight of Mr. Hoang and Ms. Wang’s grave expressions matched that of Mei Lin’s but not of Mr. Wu’s. “Ms. Chen,” Ms. Wang says. “Please take care of this.”
She is handed a copy of Mrs. Wu’s will. “That’s not my job.”
“It is when she left everything to her son, rather than her husband,” Mr. Hoang says.
“Wait, where are you going?” Mei Lin demands, upset that such responsibility was suddenly dumped on her.
“To ensure that this is handled properly,” Ms. Wang says. “Because heavens knows that neither of them are going to be coping well.”
That’s assuming he has any reaction to this at all. Aside from being mad that his own wife left a good chunk of the company to their son rather than him. Before Mei Lin could get to the staircase, Victor bursts out of his office demanding to know why his secretary just told him that he’ll be going on his international tour alone. “Not now,” Mei Lin sighs.
“No.” Victor grabs Mei Lin by the arm and forces her to stay. “Is this some sick trick to get me to leave? I will take this to the chairman if you don’t give me an explanation right now.”
“Go ahead,” Mei Lin says.
The careless pain in her voice barely registers to Victor. “What’s gotten into you?”
“A feeling of failure. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to pretend for just this moment that we’re both civil adults and just go on with my day.”
Mei Lin decides to go back to the elevators and takes care of all the arrangements from finances to belongings to even the funeral service before heading up to the roof. She finds her boss staring at the setting sun. When she walks to stand beside him, she can see that his eyes are closed and even though he appears to be at peace, the moment that he opens them, she knows otherwise. “I thought I told you to take the day off.”
“What are you going to do? Fire me for disobeying your orders?” Mei Lin says in the same dead tone.
That actually gets Yi Fan to chuckle a bit, No, I would never. You’re all that I have left. “Maybe next time. Just don’t do it again.” Yi Fan takes a deep breath, ignoring the twinge of pollution that he senses. “Did you enjoy your nap?”
“Your jacket’s being dry cleaned,” Mei Lin says. “Your schedule is cleared for the next three days in case—”
“You really didn’t take the day off,” Yi Fan chuckles. I’m glad you haven’t changed.
“I also informed Victor that you won’t be joining him. Your father’s secretaries are taking care of the press and all of your mother’s belongings are being sent to your home. She left you with her share of the company.”
“My father must not be happy about that,” Yi Fan smirks.
“I wouldn’t know,” Mei Lin shrugs.
“Can I ask you for one more favor, Mei?”
“What is it?”
“Sort through her things before sending them to me, would you? Donate any clothes, laminate any photos, file any papers or books—or donate those too if you want. Keep anything that you want.”
“Sir, it’s not my place—”
“Mei, please.” Sincerity isn’t working so he decides to switch over to a more playful tone. “That’s an order.”
“But sir—”
“Call me that one more time and I’ll have you fired,” Yi Fan threatens.
Mei Lin is shocked by the seriousness in Yi Fan’s voice and almost believes him for a minute before the two break out in much needed laughter. “How about I come over and help you sort through everything? It’s all already being sent and besides, my apartment can’t hold all of that.”
“Since when did you learn to compromise?”
“Sir, I’m insulted that you would accuse me of not knowing how to do such a necessary thing.”
“And I’m insulted that you’re still calling me ‘sir.’”
The two laugh again, a bit more wholeheartedly this time. “My apologies, Wu Yi,” Mei Lin says in a way that lets Yi Fan know that she wasn’t apologizing for calling him “sir.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Mei,” Yi Fan says in the same manner. “Yours was caring too much.” Mei Lin flinches and Yi Fan realizes the weight of what he had just said. “That’s a good thing, I guess. I don’t think she would’ve died happy if you weren’t around to care so much so that some of it finally rubbed off on me.”
“You’ve always cared about her,” Mei Lin says. “You deny it but it’s true.”
Yi Fan smirks a bit at how familiar those words sound, and how much truth they hold. Ma was right, I’ve always cared about you. I deny it but it’s true.
Translations/Author's Notes:
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Mid-Autumn [Festival] = 15th day of the eighth lunar month (meaning late September, early October) Meant to be spent with loved ones.
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"Ms. Zhong" (中) = Bai Fu's last name, which can mean center or middle.
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Mooncakes = a flaky pastery that is often eaten during the Moon Festival (aka Mid-Autumn). The kind that are mentioned here are from Hong Kong, meaning that they're Cantonese Mooncakes. Hong Kong is the place to get good quality mooncakes but it's normally very expensive.
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"Tā hěn piào liang, duì bù duì?" (她很漂亮，對不對?) = She's [very] pretty, right? (lit. She is beautiful, correct or not correct?)
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"Shì shuí?" (是誰?) = "Who [is it]?"
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"Wǒ yě ài nǐ." (我也愛你) = I also love you/I love you too.
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"Wǒ zhēn duì bù qǐ" (我真對不起) = I am really sorry/ I am so sorry.
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