. . . Are Doomed to Repeat It.
Bastard“Is this a bad time?”
Yes. “No, but may I ask why you’re in my office?” Mei Lin motions for Amber to sit.
“I’m not here to see Kevin or Henry, I’m here to see you.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question.”
“He didn’t tell you? Henry finally signed a demo deal with—”
“He told me.”
“Did he also tell you how well it’s selling? Half the record companies in the States want to give him a full-blown contract.”
“I still don’t see why you’re here talking to me when his office is upstairs.”
“Well, he’s not in his office but that’s beside the point. He told me that should any other offers come up, that I run them by you first.”
Why would he…? “Tell me more about the deal that your company plans to pitch to him.”
As the minutes pass, it becomes more and more clear to Mei Lin that this is something that Henry should consider. Though it’s hard to say if she is truly in her right mind when thinking this or if this is the result of recent events. “He works very hard,” Amber says after all the formalities are spoken of. “I think the only other time I have ever seen him that happy was when he would talk about you—but then again, you’re his muse, so I guess that makes sense.”
Though Amber’s smile is warm, Mei Lin’s blood runs cold, realizing what she must do. He’s never going to take it even if it is the best deal out there. He’ll just think I’m pushing him away and he’ll just hold on even tighter. We haven’t exactly been very happy together lately… Mei Lin glances around her office and sees through her glass walls that Zi Tao is looking as bored as ever in the lobby. “He’s in a meeting since he just recently got back from his international tour; there’s a lot to report. He should be in his office again after noon.”
Amber smiles again, taking that as a sign of Mei Lin’s approval. “Just promise me something.” Amber waits, not wanting to agree to a promise she has yet to hear. “Make sure he has creative freedom.”
“Of course.”
“I hope you’ll consider being his agent.”
“Aren’t you going to—”
“My job is here.”
Where Kevin is? “It wouldn’t be my place.”
It wouldn’t be mine either. Victoria suddenly calls to remind Mei Lin that there are people here for the interview. “What inter—” Mei Lin looks down at the creased file, dented by her stiff grip. “Oh…” She thought of everything… “Go downstairs and ask Lu Han for a visitor’s pass. Feel free to go down to the cafeteria to get yourself some food if you haven’t eaten; just tell them to put it on my account. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a suitable replacement.” I wish you were here right now…too much is going on and I have no one to talk to. “Victoria, could you please send Tao in here and have the applicants wait in the lobby? Thank you.”
Zi Tao walks in and wonders just how long he left Mei Lin alone. “Looks like you’re the one who could use a cup of coffee right about now.”
“No, I need a beer,” Mei Lin sighs. How long have you been planning this for you to have people lined up for interviews? “I’m not exactly in the mood to replace one of the best techs I have ever seen.” And with all the interns that pass through here, that’s saying something. Mei Lin sighs again as she reads through the dozen or so resumes. “Gale did her research and all of them are more than qualified to work in this lab. So,” she says, looking up at Zi Tao. “Let’s see who pisses me off the least today.”
“What would you like me to do?” Zi Tao asks.
“I’d like you to simply sit on the couch and look busy on your phone,” Mei Lin says. “I want to see how they react to pressure.” Mei Lin tells Victoria to send in the first interviewee. She darkens the glass walls the moment the poor young lady sits down. “Do you speak English?” Mei Lin asks in Mandarin. When there’s no response, Mei Lin asks again in Cantonese, to which the fidgeting mess shakes her head. “That’s all.”
“Wh-what? That’s it?”
“Did I stutter?” Mei Lin asks. “You will be expected to attend international conferences and conventions. Forget English, you mean to tell me that you can’t even understand Mandarin?”
“B-but—”
“There’s a dozen of you and you all have a very impressive resume; so you’ll have to pardon me if I’m being a bit picky. Next.”
“A bit harsh there?” Zi Tao raises a concerned eyebrow.
“I am not about to change all of my designs and notes to Chinese just for the sake of a new lead techie.”
“Ms. Chan—”
An exceptional college graduate walks in and practically lights the room with confidence. “Please have a seat,” Mei Lin says in English. “This interview will be in English, Mandarin and Cantonese.” The young man simply nodded. “How are your deciphering skills? I’ve been told that I have the handwriting of a doctor.”
“Why is that important?” the young man asks in Mandarin.
“Because the person that you’re replacing was the only one who could read my notes and understand my short hand. I’m not just some mindless Head of a department that does nothing but push papers. I had your job at one point and I still design. Your job is to oversee that all projects happen and happen well.”
“And what’s his job?” he asks in Cantonese.
“To ensure that I make the right choice.”
“And why wouldn’t you make the right choice?” he asks in English.
“I’m usually much more pleasant than this,” Mei Lin ensures. “So there are at least ten other people out there who are just as qualified as you. Why should I hire you?”
“I’m the youngest one you have—”
“That doesn’t mean .” The young man is unsure of how to respond to that. “Next.”
“Wait—”
“If you can’t tell me what sets you apart from the rest aside from your age then you clearly have nothing else to offer this company other than a big ego, and we already have one of those on this floor. Good day.”
“You’re going to regret this.”
“Am I really?”
Zi Tao takes that as his cue to stand up and he quickly leaves. “At this rate, you’re never going to find a replacement. What is it exactly that you’re looking for?”
“Someone who is multilingual, has leadership ability, presentation skills, can read messy notes and shorthand, and keeps to themselves.”
“You could be less uncouth about it.”
“I am very tactful, thank you.”
“Ms. Chan—”
In the end, Mei Lin settled for a middle-aged Spaniard with an INTJ personality. “You start Monday. My secretary will help with all the proper paperwork as well as anything else you may need.” Lu Han calls Mei Lin to which she answers, “More gone than a ghost, yes?”
“Her apartment is empty; her car was sold two weeks ago; not even my friends in the police department can tell me which flight she took.” Saying that Lu Han is in distress would be an understatement at this point. “Did you see the contents of this letter of resignation? She left what little shares and stocks to you.” I guess that should say something.
“Would you care to tell me something I don’t know, Lu Han?” Mei Lin asks, ensuring that her Mandarin is extra sharp.
“Her phone’s offline and every bank account that she had is scrubbed clean. All her credit cards have been canceled—”
“Something I don’t know, Lu Han. Something besides, ‘I have no ing clue where she went,’” Mei Lin sighs. Her rolling eyes lands on a frowning Zi Tao but she doesn’t let up on her berating. “You do realize what just happened, right? The mother of your child is somewhere on this planet and you have no clue where. I hope you sleep well tonight.”
“Where are you going?” Zi Tao asks after Mei Lin hangs up and gets up.
“The roof,” Mei Lin says flatly. “Stay.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“At this point, I would welcome harm from such infamous malefactors.”
Mei…
“They’re not going to come after me while I’m on the roof of this building. Just give me ten minutes.”
Zi Tao sighs reluctantly and takes a step to his left. He watches at Mei Lin takes long and powerful strides across the lobby and he does as he was told until he sees Victor leave his office. Zi Tao quickly makes it to the elevator hall but finds that the two are engaged in a conversation rather than anything else.
“How long are you going to keep ignoring me?” Victor asks.
Zi Tao puts a finger over his lips when the secretaries give him a concerned look because he’s eavesdropping.
“Mei, I know what’s going on. You know you can always talk to me, right?”
The elevator opens, but before Mei Lin gets on, she says very plainly, “I have nothing to say to you.”
Zi Tao quickly makes his way to Yi Fan’s office and the blond quickly looks up when he doesn’t detect the faint scent of lilies that usually accompanies Mei Lin. “Something wrong?”
“Lau and Ms. Chan are fighting and it’s my fault. Ms. Estella is gone and she just had to replace her. Ms. Chan is now on the roof…”
“Stay out of it,” Yi Fan says.
“But—”
“It’s not your fault, it’s our fault. And even though it is, I doubt that Mei would blame either of us for what’s happening; she’s very understanding. Just give her some time to clear her head—” Yi Fan stops reading. “Why are you so worried anyways?” Zi Tao looks to the side but he can’t help but feel hot. “Are you worried? She’s safe on the roof, you know.”
“I know.”
“You’re like a mother,” Yi Fan jokes half-heartedly. “You can't stand being away from the person you’ve been endlessly protecting.” As Yi Fan chuckles, Zi Tao expression of concern doesn’t change. “She’ll be fine, Tao. You better stop before I get jealous.”
“Wh-what?”
“You’re more worried about her than I’ve ever seen. You never get this worried, not even with me. I feel replaced.”
“I-I would never.”
Yi Fan lets out an amused laugh. “Someone’s getting a bit flustered. Something wrong, Tao? Don’t tell me that you’ve fallen for the infamous Mei Lin charm.” Zi Tao feels the heat rise up to his ears. “Oh my, does my dìdì have a crush?”
“Of course not!” Zi Tao says vehemently. “I would never…”
“Oh? Why is that?” Yi Fan finds himself to be a bit insulted that someone wouldn’t like someone like his secretary. “What’s not to like? She’s smart, independent, kind, beautiful—”
“Yes, I know,” Zi Tao says with a bit too much conviction. “But I could never…”
“Why not?” he asks, feeling a bit more offended now.
“Because…” I wouldn’t do that to you…
“Because?” Yi Fan is curious now. What’s not to like?
“Because you love her, duì zhǎng. I would not—could not—”
“Excuse me?”
“You said do yourself: ‘she’s smart, kind, beautiful…’ You can’t tell me that you’re not happier when she’s around.” I know I am. “We’ve known each other for a long time. We’ve done quite a few things since we met…and a few women—well, more than a few.” That’s not the point though. “The point is, as much as you complain about her, duì zhǎng, you still care about her. You might not see it but I can. You love her. And I would never betray you like that.”
The silence that befalls the room is thicker than any steel safe in the building. The two simply stare at each other with unchanging faces and blinking lids. However, as Zi Tao cools down, feeling relieved from setting such thoughts free, Yi Fan, on the other hand, starts to feel warm and confused by thoughts that he could not put into words of any language.
“Duì zhǎng?” Zi Tao asks, after what seems like hours.
“I’m going to get some air.”
As Yi Fan walks to the elevators, Mei Lin passes by and the two exchange looks of strained composure. Zi Tao joins Mei Lin in her office shortly after Yi Fan leaves and he can’t help but ask, “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” Mei Lin admits.
Zi Tao waits for Mei Lin to say more but she says nothing so he has to ask, “May I ask how?” even though it is quite rude of him to ask.
“I have a plan,” Mei Lin says. “The problem was things aren’t working out but Amber gave me an option. Victor, for the first time in over three years, gave me a decent idea.”
“And what would that idea be, Ms. Chan? If you don’t mind me asking that is.”
“I’ve learned from history but I will be intentionally repeating it,” Mei Lin says cryptically.
“What?”
“I’m going to cheat on Henry.”
As Mei Lin is returning to her office from the cafeteria, she bumps into Lu Han. “Sorry.”
“Did you find anything?” Mei Lin asks, feeling a bit sadistic at the moment.
“No—”
“I hope you know that it’s your fault that she’s gone and that there’s no one else to blame but yourself. If you had just talked to her—”
“How can you talk to someone who won’t even look at you?”
“By trying harder.” Lu Han is silent for a second too long and Mei Lin pounces at the opportunity to voice her thoughts. “You didn’t just lose the mother of your child, you also just lost a very special and irreplaceable person. But you know what? That’s exactly what I had to do this morning, replace her. Do you know how hard it is to find someone to do that? This wasn’t only damning to your life, but to the company as well.” Mei Lin makes sure that her pronunciation is flawless. “And what’s even more damaging is the fact that not only did I lose a good employee, but my best friend. Thanks to you, she won’t talk to me! I can’t talk to her because she won’t talk to you! I don’t have many friends, Lu Han. I hope you’re proud of what you did.”
“No wonder you don’t have many friends. What a .”
Mei Lin slaps Lu Han on reflex and it takes every last bit of willpower for Lu Han to stop himself from striking back. Unfortunately, Zi Tao sees this and quickly gets in between the two, and even more unfortunately, Lu Han has no qualms striking Zi Tao. Yi Xing and security had to separate the two.
“I don’t give a if you’re the prince’s driver. You ing —”
“What is the meaning of all this?!” a booming voice demands. The curious crowd parts and reveals Mr. Wu. “Well?”
“Nothing more than a misunderstanding,” Henry says from the crowd. “Right, gentlemen?” The parties in question both nod and straighten out their clothes. “We apologize.”
The crowd quickly disperses with mumbling from various departments: “That’s the IR Head for you.” “Were they arguing over Ms. Estella?” “Ms. Chen must be very upset.”
“Mei?” Yi Fan says cautiously as she tidies up his office for the nth time. He glances over at Zi Tao before choosing his words very carefully. “Are you—”
“I’m fine,” Mei Lin lies. “Everything’s fine.” Well, everything will be fine.
“If you want some time off—”
“You might as well fire me then,” Mei Lin mumbles. “It’s getting late, sir, will there be anything else?”
“No—”
“I’ll be leaving first then.” Zi Tao is quick to be at her heels when she goes to her office to leave. “Something on his mind?”
“He’s just worried about you.”
She locks up her office and leaves. “That’s not his job. It’s my job to worry about him.” She waits for the elevator and waits for Zi Tao to get on before selecting the proper floor.
After a minute of awkward elevator music and a few people getting on and off at different floors, Zi Tao says, “He cares about you,” when they’re finally alone again. He just doesn’t say it when he should.
“Do you care about me, Tao?” Mei Lin asks suddenly as they get off the elevator and walk towards her car.
“Wh-what? Of course I do…”
Mei Lin stops in front of her car and pivots on her heels. She takes a glance over Zi Tao’s shoulder to ensure that the golden boys have a perfect view. “My apologies.”
“Wha—”
Zi Tao is cut off by an unexpected but soft kiss. Mei Lin clutches tightly onto Zi Tao’s collar and leans forward on her tiptoes. Zi Tao tries to back away but his back hits a supporting pillar. Something stops him from pushing Mei Lin off of him. He can’t remember the last time something this genuine happened to him and within seconds he is lost in the moment and all the feelings that are now drowning his senses. Mei Lin blocks out the fact that what she’s doing doesn’t feel right at all and has to remind herself that this is for the best.
Meanwhile, Henry and Yi Fan get off of the elevators around the same time and while the two are preoccupied with their smartphones, they cannot ignore the unmistakable sound of what is often considered the beginning of a good time. From mindlessly checking their e-mails and playing Angry Birds to blank shock to indescribably fury in less than two seconds, Mei Lin had to break the kiss and turn around very quickly to keep the boys from killing the person who is suppose to be the one protecting her.
“Tao, what is the meaning of this?”
“Uh—I—” What am I saying? I can’t explain.
“Mei, I—what’s—” Henry decides to turn his attention to Zi Tao. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your right now.”
“I—I didn’t—she—”
“He’s right you know,” Mei Lin says, getting the attention of them all. “I’m the one who kissed him.”
“This—you—” I can’t think right now.
“How about we take this inside?” Yi Fan asks, having calm down drastically once he realized that Zi Tao wasn’t lying to him earlier.
Yi Fan and Zi Tao go into a spare room on the first floor and Mei Lin and Henry go into another. “I’m sorry, duì zhǎng. She just…and I couldn’t bring myself to…”
“No, it’s…okay.” Even though Yi Fan feels anything but “okay” right now. “It’s not your fault.” I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to either—wait, what am I saying?
“What do you think is going on in there?” Zi Tao asks, nodding his head in the direction of the other spare conference room.
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound good.”
“I don’t hear anything.”
“That’s the point.” Mei’s scarier when she’s composed.
“I should’ve seen it coming…”
“What do you mean?”
“She told me that she was going to repeat history intentionally…that she was going to cheat on Lau. It just never occurred to me that she was going to use me to—”
“Why though?” Don’t you love him?
“Isn’t it obvious?” Zi Tao waits for Yi Fan to put the pieces together. “She said it before, didn’t she? That part of the reason why she agreed to work here was to get away from what had happened.”
“Lau is not going to run away from this.” He would be a fool to leave her and even more of a fool if he doesn’t see that this was a set-up.
“No, but they’ll take a break and more likely than not, Lau is going to leave—he has that music contract offer after all. And that’s what Ms. Chan wants. She wants him to leave.”
“But why?” Why are you pushing away the people that care about you?
“Because it worked on her,” Yi Fan says in a low voice. “Mei caught Chang cheating; she originally was going to stay in the States; guess the only thing keeping her there was him.”
“Lau has more riding on this job than Ms. Chan.”
“You’d be surprised,” Yi Fan smirks. “Even if there is, he’s not strong enough to see her at every meeting that we have to have, much less live with the possibility of running into her every time he leaves the house.” I know I wouldn’t be. “He’ll just be reminded of her betrayal, even if he is smart enough to realize that this wasn’t real. Why do you think Mei won’t even look at Chang?” Trust is something that can be difficult to repair.
“So then who’s going to replace him as Head of the Department?” Zi Tao asks as he begins to accept that will be coming.
“That all depends on my father and Lau himself. It’ll most likely be me if I had to guess.” Yi Fan sighs at the thought of even more work and traveling. “I guess I should brush up on my French.”
The two glance over nervously at the blank wall, on the other side of which is Mei Lin and Henry whom are actually exchanging fewer words than you could possibly imagine.
“You’re really not going to say anything?” Henry asks, getting a bit annoyed.
The way that his lips are pressed tells Mei Lin that she’s making him angry, which is exactly what she wants. Granted, she doesn’t like knowing that she’s made someone she cares about upset, but it is necessary to get him to leave. “Do you want an excuse or would you rather I lie to you?”
“I want the truth.”
“Maybe you already know; do you honestly want me to confirm your nightmares?” Henry hesitates and Mei Lin decides to take advantage of this chance with a few more choice words. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? We’ve been spending a lot of time together as of late; how do you know that was the first time he spent the night? The pure shock from Wu Yi confirms that this isn’t some scheme on his behalf, and what could Tao possibly gain from all this? Aside from a broken nose that is. You were gone for so long, Hin Wah…did you really trust me?”
“Yes.”
“What a fool.”
“You’re lying about something, I know you are.”
“Too bad you were never all that good with guessing.”
“If you wanted me to leave, why didn’t you say so?”
“As if you would listen to me.”
“This is a bit dramatic, no?” Why would you want to hurt me?
“It’s effective.”
After a long silence, Henry finally dares to ask, “Mei, do you still love me?”
Mei Lin pauses for half a second too long but not long enough for Henry to notice. “You’re asking if I had good intentions.”
“No, I’m asking if you still love me.” Something is grabbing at Henry’s windpipe from the inside and he represses the need to choke on what little dignity he has left.
“I have nothing to say to that.” I’m sorry. It’s safer for you this way.
“And you would be okay with me leaving you and possibly being with other women?” Please say no.
“Yes,” Mei Lin lies.
Liar. “Okay.” I don’t know what’s going on, but you wouldn’t put me through all of this for a petty reason. “Looks like this time, it’ll be me leaving you and this country.”
“Only fair.” Mei Lin suppresses the storm of emotions rattling her mind. “Maybe we’ll see each other again on better terms.”
“Maybe.”
They will not.
When the boys hear the door of the other conference room open, they quickly go outside into the hall. Henry is walking away towards the parking garage while Mei Lin goes for the other set of elevators. “I’ll follow—”
“You can’t,” Yi Fan sighs, knowing exactly where Mei Lin is headed. “Wait by the car.” Yi Fan makes his way to the roof and wonders if he had gone up here earlier like Zi Tao had asked, would things be different now? Mei Lin could hear Yi Fan’s leather shoes but makes no move to hide; she’s too tired to do that. Yi Fan is about to put his hand on Mei Lin’s shoulder in comfort but retracts it, unsure of what it is exactly that he’s doing. “M—”
Mei Lin spins around quickly and buries her face into her boss’ chest, locking her arms tightly around him so that he can’t pry her off. Yi Fan is nonplus by this and even more so when he feels his shirt getting damp. “It’s been a long day,” she mumbles. And for some reason, I can’t bring myself to go home. She could feel Yi Fan nodding slowly and a shaking hand failing in attempt to console her with rubs on the back. “Stick to your day job, sir,” Mei Lin chuckles through her tears. You’re really bad at this.
“I thought I told you that ‘sir’ isn’t my name,” Yi Fan says, deciding to just let his arms drape around her. With the sound of sniffling and muffled sobs ringing clearly in his ears, he can’t help but feel useless. What do I do? What can I do? I hate seeing her like this. Yi Fan realizes that he relies very heavily on Mei Lin even though her responsibilities as a secretary now are the bare minimal. If she’s not okay, what’s going to happen to this company? …What’s going to happen to me? We can replace Lau…but who can replace her? Yi Fan shakes his head at the idea that Mei Lin would leave. Why wouldn’t she? This place has caused her so much pain…With Gale and Lau gone; being on bad terms with Lu Han; Chang still works in the office across from hers; what does she have to look forward to now? “Mei—” Yi Fan cuts himself off from telling her that it would alright if she left because he realizes that it would not be alright—that he would not be alright.
“Sir?” Mei Lin asks, drying her tears now.
Yi Fan has to think of something else to say now. “You’re paying for my dry cleaning.” What a stupid thing to say!
But it gets Mei Lin to let out a giggle. “Alright.”
Half way down the stairs, Yi Fan realizes that what he had said was rather childish, albeit mood-lightening. He wants to redeem himself. “Hey, Mei.”
“What is it, sir?” Mei Lin asks, not slowing down her pace.
“Forget about the dry cleaning; that was a joke.”
Mei Lin slows down but shrugs it off, “Alright, if you insist.”
“Let me treat you to dinner.”
“Pardon?”
“You look like you could use a drink.”
I technically am single now and I could use that drink…
“Come on, Tao’s waiting for us.” Yi Fan grabs Mei Lin by the wrist and starts walking faster than Mei Lin’s shorter legs can handle.
This is probably not the best idea considering the breakdown I just had… “Thank you for the offer, sir, but I’d much rather go home. Rain check?”
“Alright, I’ll be watching the weather forecast then,” Yi Fan says, giving Zi Tao an almost threatening look. Don’t try anything tonight; she’s far too compromised. “Drive safely, Tao. Remember, this isn’t my car.”
“Yes, sir,” Zi Tao rolls his eyes and Mei Lin snickers at the way he’s mocking her.
As they drive off, Yi Fan makes one more decision: It’s time to grow up. He starts his own car and heads for his own condo—a small testament to what Mei Lin has done for him. I might be Peter Pan but it’s time to leave Neverland because Mei isn’t Tinkerbell, Lu Han, no, she’s Wendy.
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