Displacement
BastardThe sofa had been a good investment now that Mei Lin has more than enough reasons to stay within her office. Not only does she have to oversee the project that Gale is now in charge of, but every project on the floor. Another filing cabinet is needed, as well as more hours in the day. If there’s any consolation to this, it’s that Mei Lin technically has her own secretary now: the Developmental Department’s secretary. Her nameplate reads “宋茜” but Mei Lin calls her Victoria after she insisted when Mei Lin first referred to her by name.
“This needs to go to Finance, and this needs to be sent down to Resource. Please make sure that they all give progress reports every two weeks with the exception of the serum team, which will have to give the reports to me personally every week,” Mei Lin says, handing Victoria various files. Victoria simply nods with a flat smile, unsure of how she feels about now having to work for someone who she use to work with. “Victoria,” Mei Lin says. “Thanks.”
With the Beijing Conference in less than a week, all floors are in hyper drive, so to speak. Couple that with the fact that Yi Fan is actually doing work now and the whole company is on edge. Though, no one is more on edge than Mei Lin, now with double the workload and her phone buzzing every three minutes. Half of those messages and calls are from Henry, which Mei Lin ignores partly because she doesn’t have the time and mostly because she has no idea where she stands.
“You have a minute?” Gale asks after knocking and poking her head in.
“For you, two,” Mei Lin sighs, happy for the brief break.
Gale walks in and plops down on the couch to examine her friend. “Mei,” Gale says with a stern voice. “Talk to him.”
Mei Lin finds the statement to be somewhat shocking. Gale never intervenes with Mei Lin’s personal life unless she feels it’s absolutely necessary. “I don’t have the time,” Mei Lin says, feeling a bit uncomfortable from her friend’s stiff look.
“Bull.” Gale rests her elbows on her thighs while Mei Lin flinches. “Figure it out and deal with it because the last thing you need right now are two blonds on your .”
Mei Lin leans back and lets out a short sigh. “This is different,” Mei Lin says, knowing what her friend is thinking about.
“You’re damn right this is different; we’re not in high school anymore—” Gale stops herself, arriving at the same point Mei Lin just made. “Wait, are you taken?”
“Does it look like I have the time for that?” Mei Lin asks, laughing a bit at the thought.
“Then what’s the ing problem? Do you not feel the same way or something? Just tell him what’s going through your head, Mei.”
“The problem is that I don’t know,” Mei Lin sighs again. “And I don’t have the time to tell him what’s going through my head.”
“You need to do something about this tension,” Gale says.
“Why?” Mei Lin asks. “Neither of you guys made a move for months and it worked out.”
“That was different—cultural differences and stability and—”
“'Bull',” Mei Lin quotes. Gale flinches at her friend’s profanity. Mei Lin glances at her watch, “Your time’s up.”
Gale leaves a little less satisfied than she would’ve liked to have been but she leaves nonetheless. Mei Lin goes back to the files and reports before Yi Fan calls her to his office. “Where’s my lunch?” Yi Fan asks.
Mei Lin checks the time and sighs. Just because she’s a department head now doesn’t mean she’s no longer Yi Fan’s secretary. He might be working now to make it easier on the company, but that just means he has more reason to work Mei Lin. She goes down to the cafeteria to get herself and her boss some lunch. She leaves him to eat and she munches on her own lunch while scrolling through her tablet. After half an hour, she goes into his office again to clear the empty plates, cup, and bowl, but Yi Fan stops her.
“You look like ,” Yi Fan says, scanning Mei Lin’s overall appearance. Mei Lin goes through a mental checklist of what she’s wearing and the amount of makeup and ends up giving her boss a quizzical look. “Something on your mind?”
Mei Lin clears her expression when trying to understand how her boss came to such a conclusion. “I’m fine, sir,” Mei Lin lies. “The decorator will be coming at two with some ideas for the ballroom.”
Yi Fan groans, “Is it really necessary to start planning for the end of the year now?”
“With our stocks up this year, sir, the company expects this to be one of the biggest galas ever hosted,” Mei Lin says. Yi Fan rubs his eyes at the thought of having to organize the fancy party he knows he will never attend. “I’ll take care of it,” Mei Lin says. “Just please meet with the decorator.”
“Alright,” Yi Fan sighs.
Mei Lin bows and leaves with a bit of a chuckle as if she just convinced a child to take his medicine. She returns to her office and finds Henry leaning on her desk. “Can I help you?” Mei Lin asks, mentally cursing at Gale who has a smug look on the other side of the glass. She pushes a button on a small remote to tint the glass wall between her office and the lab. “Well?” Mei Lin asks when Henry keeps his eyes on the ground and says nothing.
“Congratulations,” Henry decides to say, pointing to the new title on the door.
“That’s a bit belated,” Mei Lin says, having been three weeks, “Don’t you think?”
“Better late than never,” Henry says, meeting Mei Lin’s tired eyes. “My door’s always open.” He slips Mei Lin a folded piece of paper before getting off the desk with his hands in his pockets and leaving.
Mei Lin unfolds the paper and there’s an address written in his fine script. First you give me “time,” and now an open door. Since when did you become so metaphorical?
The Little Deer calls and Mei Lin answers happily. “How’s the weather up there?” Lu Han asks, a bit cheerier than Mei Lin feels comfortable with.
“Wouldn’t know,” Mei Lin sighs. “Haven’t had the chance to look up.”
“You need a break,” Lu Han says, noting the exhaustion in Mei Lin’s voice.
“You’re not the first one to tell me,” Mei Lin says.
“And therefore you have no reason to listen to me when you don’t even listen to your best friend,” Lu Han says.
“You going to the conference?” Mei Lin asks.
“I have no reason to,” Lu Han says with a bit of disappointment.
“Sure you do,” Mei Lin teases. “If you don’t mind me asking, now that she has a permanent job here, why…?”
There’s only the hum of the Resource Department in the background to let Mei Lin know that the call hasn’t ended. “I’m,” Lu Han says, his voice softer than normal, “scared.”
“I see,” Mei Lin says, not wanting to influence the poor deer anymore than she should.
“Thank you by the way,” Lu Han says. “For giving her the job.”
“She’s the only one who can read my notes,” Mei Lin says. “Did you get the—”
“Yeah,” Lu Han says, snapping out of his daze.
“Did you call me just to tell me that Victoria is doing her job?” Mei Lin asks.
“Uh, no,” Lu Han adds. “Be careful.”
“Of?”
“Yi Fan,” Lu Han says. “He was never one for commitment of any kind and—”
“I know,” Mei Lin says, with thoughts of The Pink Blossom coming to mind. “He can fire me as a secretary, but I doubt that he has the power to fire me from being department head.”
“Just... be careful,” Lu Han says again. “Don’t let this become your life.”
Too late, Mei Lin thinks. Her lack of response tells Lu Han that she’s jumped in too deep already and he lets out of pitiful sigh before hanging up without saying goodbye. Mei Lin puts the phone down and inputs Henry’s address into her phone to see where it is that he lives. Figures he would live in the Hai Zhu district.
When she visits his manor that evening, she considers going home, but the taxi had already left. There’s a gardener working on the various flowers lining the white walls, who bows at the sight of Mei Lin with a familiar smile. Mei Lin bows slightly to acknowledge the sun-kissed man and continues her way to the front door. She lets out a deep breath and pauses before knocking on the door. Another employee greets Mei Lin and she too has the same familiar expression when greeting Mei Lin.
“Master Henry wasn’t expecting you until later,” she says formally and timidly, as if Mei Lin’s actions would get her into trouble.
Mei Lin is led to the living room, which is just as grand and spacious as the exterior suggested it would be. The young girl in uniform goes up the black-metal railed staircase to inform Henry, but he’s walking down with one hand in his pocket and the other on his phone to which he gives all his attention. He makes eye contact with the short brunette who nervously darts hers down to where Mei Lin is sitting in wait on the creamy white sofa, which matches the rest of the interior.
“Mei,” Henry whispers in surprise, almost sprinting down the rest of the steps and also almost knocking over the young lady had she not move to one side. He slows to almost a complete stop before Mei Lin, before realizing how urgent he seems. He sits down on a sat across from her and there’s a tense silence which is only broken when the maid nearly trips down the stairs. “Could you bring us some tea?” he asks in Mandarin, giving the clumsy thing something to do.
“S-shì,” ("S-sure,") she says before disappearing to the kitchen.
“You lied,” Mei Lin says once she’s gone. “Your door was closed and I had to knock.”
Henry lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when he hears his friend joking around and teasing. “How can I make it up to you?” he asks sarcastically, though he’s honestly sincere.
“You could cook for me,” Mei Lin says, still teasing.
The young brunette comes in with a silver tray topped with a royal blue embellished porcelain set. Though oriental in style, it is European in design. She pours the couple with shaky hands and Mei Lin almost puts her hands out to keep her from spilling. Henry motions for her to leave and the two are left alone in the large room with nothing but silence and sipping. Mei Lin looks around at the lack of pictures, art or even international items. The furniture is either sleek black or marble, or creamy white like the walls. Everything is softened by the warm lights from the high ceilings, but sharpened again by the crystal chandelier demanding attention; as if the whole room was dulled down to give it a frame.
“What are you in the mood for tonight?” Henry asks.
“I’m not picky when it comes to your cooking,” Mei Lin says. “That hasn’t changed.”
“Do you have a boyfriend, Mei?” Henry asks suddenly just as Mei Lin is about to take another sip.
“No,” Mei Lin says honestly, not liking where this is going.
“Did you have one?” Henry asks, watching as Mei Lin makes no attempt at eye contact.
“Give me some credit, Henry,” Mei Lin says playfully. “I’m not completely undesirable.”
“I know,” Henry says a little quicker than Mei Lin would’ve liked. “What was he like?”
“I had one in high school,” Mei Lin says, not wanting to think about the other one. “We met in sixth grade; he was one of my first friends in the states. His name was Kim Junsu and he was Korean and had an accent when he spoke English. He was one of the few people who didn’t ostracize me because I was from a different country. He introduced me to all the local music and that’s how I picked up on whatever English I already didn’t know. He was a sweetheart and we ended up going to the same high school. I started to like him around Freshmen year and rumor had it that he liked me long before then. He didn’t ask me out until he had a license and car though.” She smiles at the memory.
The pause prompts Henry to ask, “What happened?”
“He went home after Senior year,” Mei Lin says. “We both knew it was going to happen; he told me end of Junior year that he was going back to Seoul for university. I was saddened but I wasn’t going to stop him. He still liked me very much and my feelings for him weren’t going away any time soon so we stayed with each other until the day he had to leave.” Mei Lin starts to tear at the memory of him at the airport and their last hug, and their last kiss.
“Was it serious?” Henry asks.
“If he didn’t leave the country and if I didn’t leave the state, we might’ve gotten married. Who knows,” Mei Lin shrugs. “I still get mail from him every now and again, telling me how he’s doing and I’ll send him birthday presents when I get the chance.” Mei Lin sips her tea, making a mental note for herself to tell Junsu her new address. “Occasionally, I’ll write back if there’s anything noteworthy.”
“Do you still love him?” Henry asks.
“Part of me does,” Mei Lin admits. “Though, should the opportunity presents itself, I don’t think we’ll pick up where we left off. I mean, Senior year was great and all but we knew what was coming.” She takes another sip. “He has a girlfriend now,” Mei Lin adds. “They’ve been together for four years and he’s going to ask her to marry him.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Mei Lin asks with a bit of a shrug, her voice now very mellow. “He’s happy, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him. He’s a good person and deserves it.”
“Are you happy?” Henry asks.
Mei Lin shrugs again, “More or less.”
“What aren’t you telling me?” Henry asks, putting down his cup and saucer and leaning in closer to Mei Lin. “Surely that wasn’t the only boy in your life.”
Mei Lin flinches at the thought of Victor. “He wasn’t,” Mei Lin says honestly, knowing she can’t lie properly with Henry staring her down like that.
“Can I ask what happened?” Henry asks, sitting back now.
“You can,” Mei Lin says. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll give you a response.”
Henry’s mouth twists in a way that makes Mei Lin nervous. It’s the same look he got when Mei Lin was bullied for being stupid and she refused to reveal the names of the cruel children. Mei Lin responds with the same look she gave him all those years ago, the look that asks, “What can you do?” A look of defeat is next because Henry knows it’s pointless. “This wasn’t too long ago, was it?” Mei Lin simply shakes her head in agreement. Though, with all the work she’s been doing, it seems like ages since she had caught Victor with that blonde. “He the reason why you don’t sing or dance anymore?”
“I still sing,” Mei Lin says. “Sorta.” Henry waits for more. “Middle school was when I was really into music thanks to Junsu. And after hearing him sing,” Mei Lin lets a smile show. “That boy was so talented. It was an inspiration, really. We would belt out to the radio and I would be in awe again when he had the room to move.” Mei Lin sighs in nostalgia. “I danced and sang in college for fun, but some of my friends were into mixing music, and one day, I just got the urge to move and spout lyrics. That was probably the longest letter I’ve ever written to Junsu.”
“Can I see?” Henry asks.
“I’m sure there’s videos of it on the Internet,” Mei Lin chuckles. “We would randomly perform in the courtyards and plazas like a flash mob and I’m sure people have filmed us.”
“Why did you do it if he wasn’t around to see?” Henry asks.
“Because it made me happy. It wasn’t numbers or results or tests or grades. It wasn’t something you could measure. It was something that you could do and have fun and there was no one answer or proper way,” Mei Lin says, finally looking at Henry with bright eyes. Because someone else was around to see.
Though the sight is lovely, he is left to conclude, “It doesn’t make you happy anymore?”
Mei Lin frowns and looks away. “Too many memories,” Mei Lin says simply.
“He hurt you,” Henry says softly, really wishing he could so something about it. The cracked look that stabs Mei Lin’s pallor confirms what Henry already assumes.
He stands up unbeknownst to Mei Lin and stands on his knees in front of her. It’s not until he’s inches from her face did she notice. She doesn’t lean back from her slumped posture and lets him stay in her bubble. Henry’s eyes trail from her neck to her chin. They linger a bit on her lips before meeting her eyes. He takes her cup and saucer and places it on the coffee table behind him, not breaking eye contact. Mei Lin’s eyes are glossed over, wanting to cry from various emotions elicited by the many different memories, but Henry puts his arms around Mei Lin’s shoulders before they have a chance to spill over. Mei Lin tenses at the contact and even more so when Henry rests his chin on the small of Mei Lin’s left shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Henry says into her shoulder.
The words are more for him than for her. Henry didn’t cause any of Mei Lin’s pain, but he still feels the need to apologize, to sympathize—to let her know that he wants to share her burden. They’re selfish words like the first domino.
Mei Lin doesn’t move, but Henry can feel his left shoulder getting damp. Her breathing becomes shaky until she sobs fully and uncontrollably into his white button-up. They’re soft, but painful, and she finds herself holding Henry loosely so that she doesn’t crumble over onto the floor. He shifts his arms so that one rests around her neck while the other supports her waist. Pain shoots through his body when she digs her nails into his shoulder blades, but he only holds her tighter as she cries. She cries until her eyes have no more tears to burn themselves with and when she can no longer supply her sore lungs with the stabbing air. Henry doesn’t let go, not even when her breathing evens out or when her grip loosens once again. They stay like that, with him holding her like a precious child and with her arms hooked awkwardly under his, her fingers barely grazing his shoulder blades.
She wipes her eyes one more time against his ruined shirt and lifts her head up in shame. Henry turns his head slowly to face Mei Lin’s puffy red eyes and running nose. His breath gets caught at the heartbreaking sight and it takes more than his willpower to keep him from kissing the poor girl, just to let her know that everything is going to be all right, that he would never hurt her, that he loves her…
“I’m sorry,” she says with a broken laugh as she tries to wipe her eyes and recompose herself.
No, he thinks, knowing that Mei Lin is going to put her guard up again. He watches as she sniffs and brushes her eyes pointlessly as more tears seem to fall when she realizes how foolish she probably seems. Henry settles for lifting his head and kissing Mei Lin on the forehead to which she closes her eyes, grateful that Henry has yet to let go of the embrace. “Mei…”
Mei Lin can’t bring herself to look at Henry. Unlike the time she was bitten by a snake, there’s no reason for her to cry now, at least not in her mind. And unlike that time, Henry can’t rush her to the hospital for a cure. “I’m sorry,” she says again, apologizing for a different reason now. “I just can’t—not right now—I—”
Henry runs his fingers through Mei Lin’s hair, that’s now sticks to her soaked face. He shushes Mei Lin when she starts to shake again, tightening his hold around her waist and brushing the rest of the tears away with his free left hand. “It’s okay,” he finds himself saying before pulling her into another hug. She rests there until calm again and when she’s ready to pull away, Henry gives her a sad smile and asks, “How about some food?”
Mei Lin lets out a choked laugh before nodding like a child. Henry stands up and holds his hand out to help Mei Lin to her feet. She takes it but stops him from leaving. “Uh—”
“Down the hall,” Henry says.
Henry makes his way to the kitchen while Mei Lin washes her face in the bathroom. Her eyes are still red when she is greeted by the smell of stir-fried vegetables and Henry’s smile. She watches much like how she use to as a child with her elbows on the counter and her chin in her palms as Henry flicks his wrist to keep the food moving in the wok as he adds spices and ingredients.
They eat in silence but there are quiet looks exchanged when Henry is caught observing Mei Lin. “Can I still spoil you like the child that you are?” Henry teases when he takes their plates to the sink.
“No,” Mei Lin says, even though she knows that it has no power over Henry’s actions.
“Can I give you a ride home?” Henry offers. “Or should I ask Xuě Dié to prepare you a room?”
“A ride would be nice,” Mei Lin says, feeling a yawn coming.
What she doesn’t expect is Henry following her to the driveway. “He’s off for the rest of the day,” Henry says, referring to his driver when opening the door for Mei Lin.
The ride is filled with the sound of Henry’s playlist, but he turns down the music when he hears the faint sound of Mei Lin singing along. He takes a glance over at her when they reach a red light. They way she smiles and closes her eyes every few phrases almost distracts Henry from the road. Mei Lin looks over at Henry every now and again as well, wondering how he feels about this evening’s events.
She thanks him when they arrive at her apartment complex but he grabs her left wrist when she’s about to leave, with his hand mostly enveloping her watch. They stare at each other for a moment before Mei Lin realizes his silent message. She responds with a grateful smile and tells him to drive safely. She closes the door and watches him leave before calling it a night.
Henry finds a thin white box on his desk the next morning with a note that says, “To replace the one that I ruined.” He opens the box to find a cotton white button down shirt between thin white tissue paper. Henry smirks and lets out a single laugh with the note still in his hand.
Meanwhile, Mei Lin is glaring at Gale, knowing full well that it was she whom confronted Henry much like how she confronted Mei Lin the day before. “Can I get back to work now?” Gale asks after twenty seconds of relentless glaring.
Mei Lin sighs and waves for Gale to leave. When she’s called to Yi Fan’s office, there are countless books spread open on his floor. “I’m guessing the decorator is coming back?” Mei Lin chuckles at the sight, at the mess. “Go have lunch, sir.”
“You shouldn’t tell me what to do; that’s my job,” Yi Fan says with a bit of a snarky tone. Something about Mei Lin is different today so he says to himself, “Feeling better?”
Mei Lin turns her head but keeps her eyes on her boss to give him a questioning look. “We’ve been assigned rooms and I’ve dispersed them among all those attending. Would you prefer to have a view or a room closer to the elevator, sir?”
“So long as it’s next to yours, I can care less,” Yi Fan says, grabbing his phone. “And so long as it’s as far from Henry’s as possible.”
“I’m only responsible for this floor, sir,” Mei Lin says but Yi Fan ignores the comment and leaves his office for lunch.
Zi Tao takes him to D.O.’s Restaurant, and for once, Yi Fan invites Zi Tao to join him. They eat with little to no conversation, but it’s no surprise when Yi Fan’s mentions his current secretary of four months. Zi Tao listens as Yi Fan makes trivial complaints about Mei Lin’s shortcomings and inadequacies. He can’t help but laugh under his breath at his employer’s many expressions as he goes through the many incidences in which he would entertain himself with a witty comment or threat of unemployment.
“What?” Yi Fan asks when he sees how prominent the bags under Zi Tao’s eyes are when he smiles.
“Nothing, sir,” Zi Tao chuckles. “I’ve just never seen you this involved with a secretary. Then again, I’ve never had to drive one more than once—with the exception of Amber, of course.”
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Yi Fan says to himself. “She’s been around for too long. This is why you should never commit to one person, Tao; after a while, they’ll get to you and ruin your life.”
Zi Tao snickers at the odd advice. “So why haven’t you been going to The Blossom as of late?”
“Even that can get boring,” Yi Fan says. “Did you know that she scheduled an appointment for me to get tested? She doesn’t even oppose of my behavior; it’s like she enables it. Why is someone with a twisted moral compass working for me?”
“Do you want her to oppose of your actions?” Zi Tao asks. “Maybe because you’re not very straight either.”
Yi Fan lifts his eyes and glares from under his lids and fringe. “I don’t care what she does, so longas it’s her job.”
“Then why do you care whether or not she’s nice to Xian Hua?” Zi Tao asks, knowing very well that he’s approaching a line which he knows not to cross, assuming he’s not walking on it already. His boss’s silence makes him tip over the line with a questioning look that asks, “Jealous?” Yi Fan calls for the check and ignores the look of his chauffer, regretting inviting for some company. Zi Tao speaks again, venturing even further than he’s suppose to with, “Maybe if you treated her better, she’ll be kinder towards you as well.”
Yi Fan snorts at the remark. “I could insult every aspect of her and her life until the stars burn out and she would still bow, call me 'sir', and still not quit.”
Zi Tao sighs as his boss pays for the check. Someday, she’s going to burn out.
“It would be a pain to have to break in a new secretary though,” Yi Fan says, still talking to himself as if Zi Tao’s not there. “Fun, but a pain.”
They return to the office and Yi Fan finds Mei Lin dusting the shelves. Even though she’s working, Yi Fan could tell this is her version of a break from whatever responsibilities she now has. He walks over to the shelves and pulls a random book from it before throwing himself on one of the couches. He opens it to a random page and begins to skim after shifting to make himself comfortable. The sight of such a tall man’s frame spilling over the ends is amusing, but there’s only the sound of pages turning until Mei Lin hums to herself unconsciously.
Even though he wasn’t really reading, Yi Fan gets annoyed by the minor distraction and snaps his book shut with an airy thud. Mei Lin turns around at the sound to see an annoyed Yi Fan. The look of annoyance deepens when Mei Lin tilts her head and squints her eyes in confusion, unsure of what’s bothering her boss. After rolling his eyes, he decides to go back to the book, but Mei Lin starts to hum again.
Yi Fan is about to yell when he catches a glimpse of what appears to be a smile. When Mei Lin is done, she finds herself being observed by the blond. Self-conscious now, she moves on to the other shelf, careful about the amount of eye contact that she would allow. About halfway through the second shelf of various items, she turns around with a huff. “Do you need something, sir?” she asks, somewhat exasperated from the scrutinizing eyes.
“No,” Yi Fan says, his eyes not blinking and his expression not changing. Mei Lin is about to return to her cleaning when Yi Fan asks, “Did you take care of the rooming?”
“Yes, sir,” Mei Lin says, thanks to Lu Han sending her the rooming chart. “You’ll be taking the company jet along with Mr. Wu and other board members—”
“Who’s on that jet?” Yi Fan asks, sitting properly on the couch now.
“Mr. Lau has other means of getting to Beijing, sir,” Mei Lin says, knowing exactly what he’s thinking. “If you don’t mind me asking again, sir, why do you despise him?”
“Scorpios don’t like it when they look in a mirror,” Yi Fan says, to which Mei Lin breaks a smile. “What?”
“I didn’t think you were the superstitious type, sir. Or at the very least, I didn’t think you would believe in that stuff,” Mei Lin says.
“So what do you think about me?” Yi Fan asks, curious more than actually caring.
“I think…” Mei Lin thinks about this carefully as she fidgets with the abstract vase in her hands. “I don’t think you’re a religious man,” Mei Lin says, sticking to the topic that brought on the question.
She puts the vase back in its place before walking over to his desk and reaching for the icosahedron. They lock eyes when Mei Lin's fingers trace the edges and when she thinks it’s safe; she grabs the Platonic solid and tosses it much like her boss would. Her weight pushes against the heavy desk as she contemplates what else she could add, but decides that it’s safer to wait for another prompt. Yi Fan shifts his posture so that he leans back, waiting for more to be said.
“Does it really matter what I think about you, sir?” Mei Lin asks, really not wanting to think about the topic or how to respond.
“It matters enough,” Yi Fan says.
“What do you think about me?” Mei Lin asks.
“I asked first,” Yi Fan says, not letting this go for some reason.
“I think you just go through life as it is,” Mei Lin says, keeping her eyes on the geometric chunk of metal in her hands. “It’s been planned out for you from the moment they knew of your coming, so there’s not many choices that you have to make. I don’t think you like life very much, but you put effort into trying to enjoy it. I want to say you’re nearsighted in that sense, but it’s hard to say that when you clearly know what your life is going to entail. You enjoy what little control or power you have, twisting it to prove a point to others that it exists and that you’re not just some puppet on strings or dog on a leash.
“I think you don’t like the world very much; in fact, I think you hate it. So much so that you want to spit at it, but you can’t, because it’s the only one that you’ve got. And as much as everything is planned, everything is also always changing for you—I think you have commitment issues; I think you have trust issues. I think you have the potential to be anything you put your mind to, including the head of this company, regardless of what the rest of the building thinks, and I think you want to prove them all wrong, but you're too tired of it all. I think you didn’t have a childhood, and I think you’re not what everyone claims you to be, even though you probably are.”
Mei Lin doesn’t look at her boss because her rambling very likely had just gotten her fired. She can’t see Yi Fan flinching at every word; flinching at the truth and accuracy; flinching at the faithful hope Mei Lin seems to have in Yi Fan. What makes her think she’s so special? Why does she think she’s any different? What the does she know? He decides to return the favor. “I think you’re a ing pushover who works too hard to please people who couldn’t give two s about you. I think you’re a time bomb just waiting to go off, but you’re too much of a coward to let such a thing happen. You’re so selfless, it’s sickening. You think you’re making everyone else feel better, but all you do is make them feel like a piece of by being a goddamn angel all the time. You never let down your guard or tell anyone what you really feel. Even just now, there was more, but you didn’t say it for whatever reason. I think you’re afraid that no one will care about you, that no one will ever need you or love you. I think you’re nothing but a pretty little rotten, expired Easter egg that’s trying way too hard to hide the fact that she’s trash.”
Yi Fan is bitter and using displacement to the fullest of its definition, but that doesn’t make the words gouge any shallower. And while Mei Lin’s words had been honest with no malicious intent, Yi Fan had aimed to squeeze a few, if not more, tears from Mei Lin’s downcast eyes. She simply places the object back in its place on her boss’s desk without moving the core of her body. On the surface, there’s no change in expression, no sign of pain or discomfort, but internally, Mei Lin is fighting the urge to walk out. Finally Mei Lin asks nonchalantly, “You think I’m pretty?” The small, soft smile sickens Yi Fan, but the way that it shields her teeth is satisfactory enough for Yi Fan.
“I think you should get back to work,” Yi Fan says flatly, adding, “It’s the only thing you’re good at,” as if she’s not there.
Mei Lin heads towards the double glass doors, but stops halfway out. Yi Fan sees her standing there for a moment in the reflection and his head in wonder of what’s going through her head. She eventually lets him know: “Sir,” she says, her voice heavy and weary, “You can be an sometimes.” And with that she goes back to her office.
Yi Fan forces his lungs to empty. See, Tao? I was right…if you don’t count the lack of a bow.
The next few days are tense between the two, with little to no words exchanged and even less contact. The whole floor is on edge as the two displace their tension and frustration into their work. If there’s a silver lining to it all, it’s the most productive few days that the thirty-seventh floor has ever seen, as well as the thirty-sixth (PR Department is down there). Gale wants to say something, but Mei Lin never gives her the time. Zi Tao wishes to speak as well, but Yi Fan bites Zi Tao’s head off whenever even a single word comes from . Concern spreads to the top floor, namely to Henry, and seeps down to the ground floor, namely to Lu Han, but everyone in between is affected one way or another.
“Why doesn’t he just fire her?” “Why doesn’t she just quit?” are the questions that circulate like blood, only much faster and less effect. Something happened, that’s all they know. It isn’t until it is time for the Beijing Conference does this reach Mr. Wu. Even though the two are sitting next to each other, they couldn’t be more distant with each buried in their respective electronics.
Mr. Wu laughs unexpectedly in the middle of the flight, causing all but the couple to turn to see the cause of such a rare sight. “Working hard?” Mr. Wu asks, still not getting the attention of the two who sit in front of him. It isn’t until it is silent that they notice and look up more or less at the same time. “The hard part’s over,” Mr. Wu says. “All that’s left is to smile and not say anything stupid.”
The latter shouldn’t be too difficult for you, the two think, referring each other.
Mei Lin forces a feeble smile while Yi Fan simply looks back down at his phone. Her attention returns to her tablet, but Mr. Wu is unsatisfied with the atmosphere. “What’s the matter with you two?” Sure, Yi Fan had never been one for these sorts of public appearances, and neither had Mei Lin, but that’s no excuse for how depressing the two appear to be. Yi Fan simply looks at his father with the usual stare while Mei Lin doesn’t look at all. “Oi!”
The two jerk up with wider eyes, somewhat terrified by the booming tone. “Sir?” Mei Lin asks, hoping that either one of them would answer.
Ms. Wang and Mr. Hoang clear their throats in hopes of relaxing the cabin. “Everything’s fine,” Yi Fan says plainly. “Right, Mei?”
“Indeed, sir,” Mei Lin says, mimicking his tone.
The crystal glass in Yi Fan’s cup holder doesn’t go unnoticed by Mei Lin, and especially not the dark caramel liquid at the bottom of the glass. When he takes a sip, Mei Lin can’t help but feel a bit guilty, even though it is very likely that their little exchange isn’t the only cause, if a cause at all. Mei Lin copies his actions and takes a sip of her water. A popup crosses her tablet, telling her that she’s a good liar. Mei Lin replies with “as are you.”
They land and going to the hotel is just as boring as it sounds. Luckily, the conference isn’t until the next day, because the couple has hooded eyes and is ready to curl into their respective beds. Almost everyone from GIBI is in the lobby by the time Mr. Wu arrives and the wait for the elevator is draining. Henry and Gale can’t help but note how far away the two want to be from each other, even though it’s expected that they stand side by side.
Henry quietly asks Bai Fu which room Mei Lin is in because when checking in, there was a “mix up” somehow, causing the two to share a room. To Bai Fu’s dismay, there are two beds in that room when they arrive, but she tells her boss what he wants to know anyway. Henry quickly showers and changes into a casual black button down and matching dress pants with even darker black shoes. Bai Fu showers and comes out in a coral dress, but Henry is already making his way to the restaurant where the company is having dinner.
Yi Fan wears a graphic t-shirt, dark fitted jeans and a casual blazer. Mei Lin comes out into the hallway in a ruffled white blouse and dark dress pants. With Yi fan’s black Vans and Mei Lin’s black kitten pumps, one would think they’re both attending different events. They arrive fashionably late with the only seats left being across from each other. Yi Fan is forced to sit next to his father and Gale while Mei Lin is sitting between Bai Fu and Mr. Hoang.
The large round table is quiet as each course comes and no one dares to eat before Mr. Wu—well, maybe with the exception of Yi Fan. “Did someone die?” Yi Fan asks, his voice pointing at Henry.
Henry ignores the comment and glances up at Mei Lin, who makes no attempt at conversation with those around her. Something catches her eye though, enough to make her stop eating and even stand up to bow. Bo Ah, along with her secretary, come by the GIBI’s table with a bright smile. Mr. Wu remains seated but smiles at the sight of his business partner’s daughter. They exchange a few words in Korean, but her eyes are at the young blond sitting next to the old man.
Gale stomps on Yi Fan’s toes, forcing him to look up at the young lady standing before them. She bows slightly, more than pleased with finally meeting the supposedly handsome young man—who is more striking than what the rumors claim. Yi Fan avoids as much eye contact as he can, only giving Ms. Kwon a briefly forced smile and minimal acknowledgement, knowing full well what his father would like more than anything, even though Ms. Kwon is more than four years his senior.
Her attention turns to Mei Lin when Yi Fan doesn’t give her the time of day. “I’m glad to see you again, Ms. Chan,” Ms. Kwon says with a smile. Mei Lin had sat back down, so she simply bows her head. “Your boy is quite clever, keeping such a fine young lady in his employment.”
Yi Fan rolls his eyes and Mr. Wu silently agrees with Ms. Kwon. Mei Lin smiles a bit in attempt to hide her embarrassment. Henry smiles in agreement as well and the sight provokes Bai Fu to “spill” her red wine on Mei Lin’s blouse as soon as Ms. Kwon is out of earshot. Mei Lin stands up immediately at the red-violet stain, which has now dripped onto her pants. Henry stands as well to get a better view, as if he could do anything now. Yi Fan lets out a snicker at the embarrassing sight, wanting to thank Bai Fu for being a klutz.
“Excuse me,” Mei Lin says before leaving for the bathroom.
Bai Fu does her best to hide her smile but it doesn’t matter as soon as Henry excuses himself as well and also heads towards the bathrooms. Lucky for Mei Lin, there’s no one else there as she does her best to dry and rid the stain. Sadly, it only moves it around even more and no amount of dry cleaning could save it. At the very least, Mei Lin tries to savage her pants but the sticky feeling seeps right through. Henry walks into the ladies' room and Mei Lin jumps at the sight.
“I’m so sorry,” Henry says, grabbing more paper towels and handing them to Mei Lin.
“My fault for arriving late,” Mei Lin says.
Gale walks in to check in on her friend and stumbles back at the sight of Henry. “Uh, this is the ladies' restroom,” Gale says.
Henry excuses himself, embarrassment coloring his cheeks. “It’s hopeless,” Mei Lin sighs. “I’m going back to the hotel.”
Gale sighs as well before returning to the table, apologizing on her friend’s behalf. If Gale’s death glare isn’t enough to make Bai Fu’s skin crawl, Henry’s brief stare and cold shoulder should do the job. Instead of walking beside her boss when leaving the restaurant, she’s forced to walk two steps behind him as he has a swift stride this evening. He sits in the passenger seat, making her sit alone in the back seat. In attempt to show her regret, Bai Fu walks quickly to the elevators to have one waiting, only to find that her boss is at the reception’s desk trying to see if there are any free rooms.
Meanwhile, Mei Lin showers and changes into sleepwear. She’s going over the events and memos regarding the conference when Henry arrives in his own hotel room with a stone-etched face. Bai Fu is on edge, wondering if she’s going to still have a job when this conference is over. Henry is walking around the hotel room grabbing various things as if he’s leaving. Bai Fu opens but Henry whips around and gives her a stern look before telling her, “I expect you to pay for her dry cleaning.”
“Yes—” Henry slams the door as he leaves. “—sir…”
Mei Lin hears a knock on her door and can’t help but wonder if it’s Gale checking up on her or if it was Yi Fan needing something instead of calling for room service. She opens the door and finds the golden boy himself with what appears to be all of his luggage. “Uh, hi?”
“Can I come in? Or should I try my luck with the other door?”
Mei Lin steps back to let Henry into her small room. There’s a full-sized bed with a nightstand, a plush recliner, a small desk with a mirror, a trashcan, and a small foot rest that doubles as a seat for the desk. “What’s wrong with your suite?” Mei Lin asks.
“There was a mistake with the booking and it ended up being a double,” Henry sighs. “Am I allowed to stay or are you going to kick me out?”
“You’re not going to fire her, are you?” Mei Lin asks, moving her things to give Henry some space.
“Why shouldn’t I?” Henry asks half jokingly.
“Kind of a petty reason,” Mei Lin says. “You would be admitting to the rest of the company that you have feelings for me, assuming they don’t already assume that.”
“You’re not petty,” Henry says.
“Yes, I am,” Mei Lin says. “I’m also too selfless for my own good and care too much about people who could care less.” The pain that comes with paraphrasing her boss is somewhat cleansing to Mei Lin. “I’m also stubborn, a workaholic, and pitiful,” sheadds, beating herself down like the cruel little middle school goers she once knew. She’s on a roll now and Henry can only stand and listen. “I sometimes wonder if what I’m doing is really what I want. You know, one of the only reasons why I’m even at this company is because of you.” Mei Lin looks up at Henry’s reaction, which is just as she expected. “You and your family are non-existent to mine, but I heard my dad mention this company my senior year. After a bit of digging, it turns out you just started working here. And even after everything, not a single word of congratulations or pride from that man. I want to hate you for making me your shadow but I can’t. How pitiful is that?” Mei Lin sighs, surprised that she’s not crying. “I spend my whole life just trying to be good enough for my folks and all I get is: ‘Why aren’t you better? Why aren’t you a boy? Why are you not more like Henry?’ But of course, they never mention you by name.”
“What do you want?” Henry asks.
“Maybe that’s why I’m still working for such an ,” Mei Lin continues, not hearing Henry’s question. “Maybe it’s because he reminds me of my parents and I’m just comfortable with not being good enough.” Mei Lin laughs at herself. “It’s stupid, right? Thinking you could change someone’s mind like that—thinking you could change them like that. And yet, I’m stubborn as all and never give up, even when it hurts me.”
“I’m—”
“Don’t,” Mei Lin says, as if she’s suddenly very aware of who’s in the room. He was about to apologize and Mei Lin won’t have it. Her eyes pierce Henry in a way that makes him want to take a step back. “I told you before, I don’t hate you. I just hate what my parents expect of me. And I pity the man next door. People envy me but what they envy is a lie. They shouldn’t strive to be something that I most certainly am not but I’m too much of a coward to be honest about. I try to be myself but I don’t even know what that is anymore.” She takes a breath and paraphrases again. “Focus too much on the shell and the yolk rots until you can’t even distinguish what it’s suppose to be or even know what it has become.”
“Mei,” Henry says. “You’re a gal with a good heart; always have, always will—hopefully. Just open up more—”
“They always leave,” Mei Lin says. “I left you. Junsu left, Gale left; granted, she’s back now, but I digress. And Victor—” Mei Lin clears the lump in . “There’s really no point in investing in something if it’s only temporary.” Henry sees her eyes darken as she tries to hide under her hair. “I won’t make that mistake again…” Mei Lin says to herself, referring to the painful experience of trusting someone, or rather, thinking you could trust someone.
“Sure,” Henry says suddenly, causing Mei Lin to jolt. “You don’t have a picture-perfect past. It has some thorns woven in but it’s woven in nonetheless and it’s a part of who you are. No one expects your tapestry to be perfect, Mei. You are who you are, for better or for worse. If you don’t like it, then do something about it; if they don’t like it, don’t worry about it.”
“I accepted a long time ago that I’m not meant to be happy, Henry,” Mei Lin says grimly, “Not when those around me are not happy. If they’re not happy with me, then how can I be happy about myself?”
Henry sighs, finding himself in a stalemate. There’s no changing the mindset that Mei Lin has had for the past twenty-four years of her life, and if there is to be any, it would be very minor and the change would be slow. But something has to give. “I’m happy with you,” Henry says. “It’s frustrating sometimes when you don’t think about yourself, but that’s why I spoil you,” he smiles. “To remind you of what you deserve.” Mei Lin blushes, but makes no attempt to hide it at this point. “And if you feel bad, you could always pay me back. I take hugs, but kisses are acceptable as well.”
Mei Lin throws a pillow at Henry for his words. He catches it with ease before it hits him in the face. There’s a smile on that face now, mocking Mei Lin, baiting her to throw the other pillow so that she would have none. Mei Lin squints her eyes but doesn’t fall for it. Instead, she crawls into the bed and slips under the sheets. “You can sleep in the recliner.”
Henry lets out a laugh, one that’s loud enough to be heard through the walls by Yi Fan. He’s tempted to open the door that links the two rooms to see what’s happening, but decides against it when he realizes that would indicate that he’s either concerned or interested, neither of which he wishes to express at the moment. He goes to bed that night after another glass of strong liquor. With no friend, or anyone for that matter, to voice his stresses to, it’s no surprise when he wakes with a headache and heavy bags. It isn’t until the end of the conference does he realize that it’s not worth the agony to be alone in every possible way.
Translations/Author's Notes:
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宋茜 (Sòng Qiàn) = Victoria Song's (from f(x)) Chinese name.
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Hai Zhu District = Right next to the Tain He district where GIBI is located, known for their pricy and high end residential real estate. Also home of the famous Canton Tower that's often associated with the Guangzhou skyline.
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Xuě Dié (雪蝶) = Xuě as in snow and Dié as in Hú Dié, which means butterfly. The young maid's name literally means: Snow Butterfly
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In case anyone is wondering, Bai Fu's name is 白芙 (Bái Fú). Bái means white and Fú as in 芙蓉 (fú róng) which means lotus. Her name means White Lotus. (Fu is also a homophone for 富 (Fù), even though the stress is different, which means wealthy.)
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For clarification: Junsu is Kim Junsu (Xiah/Xia) from DBSK/TVXQ/JYJ and Kwon Bo Ah is BoA
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